GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE


GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.

When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

You can't trust dogs to watch your food.


GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED

Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly car payment is due.

Families are like fudge...mostly sweet with a few nuts.

God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will live forever.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.

Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.

Raising teenagers is like nailing JELLO to a tree.

The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere...and let the air out of their tires.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.


THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE

1) You believe in Santa Claus.

2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.

3) You become Santa Claus.

4) You start to look like Santa Claus.