INSURANCE STATEMENTS



Here's an oldie-but-goodie from before the days of the Internet: statements received from an insurance company from policy holders describing their accidents.


I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through the windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

A guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over an embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision. I did not see the other car.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front of me, I struck a pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.

I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.

When I saw that I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to go, so I ran over him.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.