MALE BASHING
Did you hear that they are going to stop circumcising men? They discovered they were throwing away the best part.
Ever notice how so many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender? MENstruation, MENopause, MENtal breakdown, GUYnecology, HIMmorrhoids...
How do men exercise at the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Why is it good that we now have female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions.
How do you keep a man from wanting sex? You marry him.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? Nobody knows. It has never happened.
My boyfriend said that for his physical, the doctor needed a urine specimen, a stool sample, and a semen specimen. I told him, "Just give them your underwear."
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.
What do ceramic tile and men have in common? If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for life!
What do men and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.
What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is? An insurance company.
What do you call a man with 99% of his brain missing? Castrated.
What do you call a man with 90% of his intelligence gone? Divorced
What do you call a woman without an asshole? Divorced.
What does a man consider to be a seven course meal? A hotdog and a six pack.
What does a man say when he looks in a box of Cheerios? "Oh look, donut seeds!"
What does a smart guy do in an M&M factory? Proof read.
What is the best way to get a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
What is the insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man.
What's a man's idea of helping with the housework? Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
What's the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home.
What's the difference between a bar and a clitoris? Most men have no trouble finding a bar.
What's the dumbest part of a man's body? His penis. It has a head without a brain, it swings with two nuts, and it lives right around the corner from an asshole.
Why are men like paper cups? They're dispensable.
Why did God create man? Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Why do men have a hole in their penis? So oxygen can get to their brains.
Why do men name their penises? Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions.
Why do men think women have no brains? Because they don't have any testicles to put them in.
Why don't men get hemorrhoids? Because they are all perfect assholes.
Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to childhood, he's half-way there.