MILITARY OFFICER EFFICIENCY REPORTS


Actual lines out of U.S. Military OERs (Officer Efficiency Reports):

A room temperature IQ.
A prime candidate for natural deselection.
A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
A gross ignoramus. 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
A prime candidate for natural deselection.
A room temperature IQ.
Bright as Alaska in December
Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
Fell out of the family tree.
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
He's so dense, light bends around him.
If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
One neuron short of a synapse.
So dense, light bends around him.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge: he only gargled.
Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.