QUOTES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS
After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post. – Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, RI
Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued... Reason: it has been reported to our office that yours expired on January 1, 1976. – Letter from the Illinois Department of Public Aid
China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. – Former French President Charles de Gaulle
Half this game is ninety percent mental. – Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. – A. Whitney Brown
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law. – David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. – A Bit of Fry and Laurie
I think the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five. – Charles Barkley
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. – Dave Barry
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." – Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. – Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted. – Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries
It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago. – Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
Mariah Carey was one of the first celebrities to comment on the death of the King of Jordan. Mariah told CNN "I'm inconsolable at the present time, I was a very good friend of Jordan, he was probably the greatest basketball player this country has ever seen, we will never see his like again". When told by reporters that it was King Hussein of Jordan who had died and not Michael Jordan, Mariah was then led away by her security in a state of "confusion".
– USA TODAY Monday, February 8, 1999; A&E:
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. – Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever. – Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana....The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember that they are. – Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22
Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. – Chicago Rotary Club journal, "Gyrator"
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. – Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign
The president has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. – Clinton aide George Stephanopolous
That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it. – A congressional candidate in Texas
The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history... this century's history....We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century. – Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republican vice-presidential candidate, during a news conference in which he was asked his opinion of the Holocaust
The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe. – Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia
The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing. – Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before. – Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower
Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas. – Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees. – Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"
– Quentin Crisp
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff. – Mariah Carey