REAL EXCUSES RECEIVED BY SCHOOLTEACHERS


Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
Maryann was absent December 11-16 because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around – her father even got hot last night.
Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

Submitted to Car Talk by "Capt'n Bob"