| With having 2 sons who were special needs and to find out that we were expecting again was a bit of a shock. All sorts of emotions ran through my head how would I cope with 3 children, how could I provide for them. I had only been home from the USA a week after visiting family when the line came up positive on the test. Before I went away I had done a test but it showed up negative. Seeing that line, I never knew whether to laugh or cry the boys were only young themselves. First task was to tell hubby as he was at work. I picked up the phone and dialled, I had now mellowed a bit and knew deep down that this baby was wanted. He picked up the phone and I just blurted out that I was expecting again. At first he was in shock but then he was pleased and we began planning for our new arrival. Hubby always wanted a daughter, he loved the boys but deep down wanted a little girl of his own. Everything was going well I had a little bit of morning sickness but nothing to severe, We went for our 12wk scan and suddenly our baby seemed more real. This tiny figure on the screen kicking and looking at us. At this point we never knew the sex as it was to early but we could see this perfect baby. My mood swings were the worst looking back I was a bit unfair to people but at the time I could not see this. Hubby had not been feeling his best and decided to go the hospital were he had to have his appendix removed, I was at home tidying up when I just snapped, I think it was over a bill that was meant to have been paid and he had only paid half. Again looking back it would not have made much diffence today at least he paid some of it but at the time it was like the end of the world. Hormones I think had a lot to do with it. I packed his stuff up and marched into the hospital were he was recovering, here I threw his stuff at him and told him not to come back. Then I went home were it sunk in what I had done. Now I began to feel frightened and alone what had I done? . Here I was with two toddlers and a baby growing inside of me. Hubby came out of the hospital and went to live at his mums I can be very stubborn and was adamant that I would not have him back, In some way I wanted to prove to him and others that I could cope alone with the children. I went to the doctors for my routine checks all was well baby had a healthy heartbeat and I was booked in for my routine scan at 20wks. I decided that it was only fair that hubby came with me for this scan as it was his child too and we also decided to find out the sex of the baby. My mum said that she never wanted to know. We met at the hospital were we went into a tiny room just like before, the lady squeezed the cold jelly like substance over my bump which was getting noticeable now and started to check all was ok. Everything was fine all the tests showed that we had a perfect healthy baby girl. The look on hubbys face I will never forget he had a smile from ear to ear, I don’t think anything stopped us smiling that day .I went to my mums to pick up the boys with a huge grin upon my face, my mum looked at me and guessed that we were having a baby girl. We would have been pleased with any sex but with having 2 boys already and having no girls in either family apart from me it was a dream come true. My mum in law couldn’t believe it either and everyone was really looking forward to the day we would meet her. |
| As we knew we were having a baby girl and that everything was healthy we decided to decorate the nursery and buy a few bits. Our local baby shop was shutting down and they had a huge sale on, we got many little dresses and other bits and pieces for her. I talked to my bump constantly and told her all that was going on. I couldn’t wait to see her in her little dresses that we bought. We also decided on the name Megan Elizabeth we could not decide between Hannah and Elizabeth. Again all was well and a few weeks passed I was going to my midwife every few weeks. I had been feeling uncomfortable big, and in a bit of pain but just put it down to nearly being 30wks pregnant. When I went to my midwife she recommended that I go the hospital as she thought the baby was breech. When we got there the dr felt my bump and said no she wasn’t breech just big. This uncomfortable feeling carried on I was huge by now and again my midwife sent me the drs again all was well they said baby breech even though deep down I knew she wasn’t but I took thier word. I had a low iron count and had to have a transfusion. While I was in the hospital I was in so much pain that I demanded a scan. Reluctantly they gave me one. I went down for the scan, I was all-alone as I was very naive and thought nothing was up. I went into that tiny room again were the man smeared that cold jelly like substance all over my bump. |
| Just like last time the screen was turned away until the dr had checked all was ok. I was not prepared for what came next. The dr was very quiet and the room had this earthy silence. Deep down I knew something was wrong but I was thinking things like this don’t happen to me. I finally plucked up the courage to ask “is all-well”. The dr turned and looked at me then he turned the screen towards me he then explained that the baby had Fetal Hydrops and that it was severe. This meant that I had too much fluid and so did the baby. |
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| Megans Story |