Alright people, we all know that any old butthead can go out there and find a legal suit against anyone and anything. That's what makes America such a great country, after all. Anywho, back to my Pending Legal Cases.

Mistletoe. What if you're at a innocent Christmas Party, minding your own freaking business, when some girl comes up to you and smacks you right on the lips??? Seriously though, without even getting into the allegations against the displayers of the mistletoe, you could sue the girl for toxic transfer of unwanted and potentially harmful saliva!

And what about Chips Ahoy (TM) and their little slogan "1,000 chips in every bag!"(r)??? Although there are few of us, disregarding people with no lives (i.e. myself, matt, and others), that would spend the time to count the number of chocolate chips in every bag, I am willing to bet an ugly penny that there are few/less than the before stated number of chocolate chips! If this isn't any more of a fraud than President Bush's dinky little tax "rebate", I don't know what is. Note: I am critical of his so-called rebate because it was our money in the first place, so neither him nor the government are really "giving us a rebate". They are simply allowing us to keep more of our hard earned money which is rightfully ours, NOT the governments, to give and/or spend.