Mock English Assignment
This is the creative writing for mock English assessment, I didn’t hand this in since this is a mock assessment (well duh didn’t I just said that!?) anyway, I think I did a pretty good job for the 1st paragraph and the conclusion, but I need YOU, that’s right YOU to tell me how it could be done to be better and not so unrefined in YOUR professional view (if you consider yourself a professional)

8:30pm Osaka, Japan. The store-filled streets stretched as if it never ends, all hung out their most daring, eye-catching neon light signs, going on and off like cat’s eyes. Streams of people busied away, making audible tapping sounds on the concrete ground with the soles of their shoes. Uncountable pair sof tapping echoed from corners to corners around the streets. The ice-cold air mildly assaulted into my lungs, as it made me grateful of the woolen, furry garments that clad around me. Even the most careful person could accidentally lost themselves in the swirling symphony of mild, milky mist, foreigners mumbling away their mother tongues and teenybopper music released from the CD stores. Selections of fashionable products displayed their up to date, seduction of teenagers’ desires. A girl with apple cheeks sauntered around in a skipping-like liveliness, while the old, greasy tramp shrivelled up in the corner, hiding their shame of unachieved sufficient life. The instant of opening the noodle shop’s door spilled the merry laughers from inside, collided with the chorus outside, adding a whip of excitement into the picture.

8:30pm Hamilton, somewhere in the universe. The navy velvet draped with glimmering diamonds overlooked the toy town scattered with small groups of people. The shops along the streets gloomed down, not a single light bulb being turned on to express the values of the merchandises. A time-worn car packed with high-spirited youths, rushed down the road, they chanted as if it was a tank they were driving. Along the spot where the bars and restaurants huddled together, began to appear. The middle-aged man in polo shirt and shorts, held a Lion Red can in his bear-like palm and enjoyed the conversation with his companions like the king of the world. Yet, his laughter was only a spark in the cool night, no other stirs were caused.

The only thing that alerted me out of this peaceful dream was the wet embrace of the crystal air.
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