So here I am once again taking on the task of
writing yet another statement, directed towards
those who have been offended, angered, and some who
even threaten to use their positions of power
against us, trying desperately to avoid legal
matters. I was recently told that a few of Hub-Bub's
hard working distributors had stumbled upon a few
critics while out late one night in our peaceful
city. HHHMMMMM......sounds a lot like what happened
to a few of us after the September 11th incidents.
For those of you who don't know, a lot of people
blamed the terrorist attacks on individuals such as
ourselves, dubbing us 'unpatriotic anarchists'
(trust me, phrases like this were thrown in my face
personally). I know, it sounds extreme, but people
were so shook up over that day that they took out
their frustrations on any scapegoat that they could
possibly find. So now we're back in that same boat,
trapped in a corner with our fists drawn and ready
to swing if necessary! With that out of the way,
please allow me to better explain our situation and
throw in a few personal statements of my own.
From what I understand, a local business owner was a
bit upset with us that his establishment was named
in one of our magazines. First of all, I would like
to apologize to him (or any other independent
business owner who we may have offended) for any
inconvenience or stress we may have caused you. We
at Hub-Bub are all supporters of independent
businesses and want nothing more than to see you
prosper. The only businesses that we truly hate and
would love to see fail are major corporations( for
obvious reasons). If your business isn't a
corporation, than you have nothing to fear from us!
Trust me... we're on your side! We understand that
one's personal politics come into play heavily when
choosing the means of advertisement for a privately
owned establishment. I know that I would NEVER want
to see Hub-Bub advertised in the pages of some
extremist group's magazine or on the KKK's website
(or a Republican Party's magazine for that matter).
What I'm saying is that we understand why you were
offended and send our most sincere apologies. Our
magazine is obviously not for your taste of humor.
Now it's time to move on to some things that I'm not
so understanding about! We've also caught some
bitter feelings from local law enforcement agencies
as well as city officials. Dealing with these types
is no fun at all, more of a pain in the ass than
anything! There's nothing worse than someone giving
narrow-minded, intolerable jerk-off's positions of
power. We're not singling out anyone, we've dealt
with way to many of you for that, so I'm just going
to throw a few things out in the open to show you
that no matter how much you may say that we are, our
magazine(or our crew)is not the cities biggest
problem! For example, we live in a city with no
industry whatsoever. People are fighting an uphill
battle as I speak trying to keep the few industries
we do have in the area from moving on to other
places. Jobs for our citizens should definatly be a
higher priority that dealing with our magazine,
don't you think!
How about the steadily rising problem of
prescription drug abuse? Our area has seen an
epidemic of people abusing drugs such as oxycotins
and other pain killers, diet pills, and not to
mention a growing supply of crack and cocaine
somehow making it's way onto our streets. I can
honestly say that not one writer of our magazine( or
distributors) does any form of any illegal drug,
including marijuana! Shouldn't you 'upholders of the
law' worry more about these people that bring poison
into our neighborhoods rather than a few poor souls
who do nothing more than write a magazine which you
consider to be "in poor taste"?
Have any of you walked down the street lately and
happen to notice the alarming number of racial slurs
that come from the mouths of close minded morons and
rednecks that we sadly have to admit are citizens of
our city? Years ago, our elected leaders welcomed
the Ku Klux Klan with open arms so that they could
conduct a rally in our downtown area, yet look at
some of the troubles outsiders have had to deal with
while trying to bring a live music venue (columbia
theater) to our town because some residents ( and
the city's elite) do not consider it to be a
"positive" addition to our city! Does anybody else
see a problem here? This is just another example to
prove that our backward-ass city officials and law
enforcement personnel have a lot more important
problems that should be considered more important
than a non-profit magazine done in the name of fun!
Remember, Hub-Bub is done to make people laugh. I
know that it can get rather X-rated or offensive at
times, but we mean no one any harm! As I said in an
earlier article a couple of issues ago, Hub-Bub is
all about the publishing of unconformed views and
freedom of press, stressing laughter as a key
ingredient. For fuck's sake people, have a sense of
humor! Please, with that said, LEAVE US ALONE!!!
You're going to push me over the edge and I'll be
forced to unleash my army of rabid wombats upon the
city. Trust me, I don't want that anymore than you
do! --Mr. Bumpkin