Okay just like Mr. Bumpkin said in his column, here we
are sitting around the night of the deadline for
Hub-Bub and we have no columns. Actually we are almost
two months behind, this is supposed to be the
January/February issue and I’m writing this on Feb.
06. Oh well we never claimed on time. Anyway I’m
sitting here trying to think of something to write
about and I’m reminded of a funny story that took
place here at my house almost one year ago.
It was sometime over last summer, we were all sitting
around not really doing anything. It was actually late
at night and we had all just came back to my house to
reflect on the events of the evening. I don’t really
remember who all was here or even what we had done
that night, but I do remember two of the people that
were here. One was my friend Jason who was visiting
from out of town and the other was some whore named
Megan. In fact, I’m pretty sure Megan was only hanging
around to see how many guys in our crew she could
fuck. I’m sure you know her type, the ditzy high
school girl that loves getting "tricked" into sex by
the frat boy types.
From the time Jason met her he was flirting with Megan
trying to get her to fuck him. We all knew it would
happen eventually so it was just a matter of time.
Well, as fate would have it, that night would be
Jason’s "lucky" night. Jason and whore er I mean Megan
snuck outside to my porch to "talk" while the rest of
us sat around just bullshitting with each other.
Quite some time passed and Jason and Megan were no
place to be found. The sun was coming up and people
were starting to leave. I take a look around at all
the beer cans left all over my house and start to
wonder who I was going to get to help clean this mess
up. Well I walk outside and find Jason (my friend
since the age of five) and Megan getting out of my
crippled fathers mini-van. With the look of disgust on
my face I ask "What were you two doing in there?" only
for Jason to kind of laugh and tell Megan "Make sure
you wash your hands before you eat!" then outbursts
with laughter as she drives away.
I was certain that Megan had just got turked in my
crippled fathers mini-van and as sick as that is I
wasn’t really pissed off. Jason and I clean up the
beer cans and around eight o’clock AM I drop him off
at his parents house just in time to go catch a train
back to where he lives. A couple weeks pass and even
though we would give Megan shit when we saw her we
never really talked about what happened that night. I
never really talked to Jason about it, I mean I
figured whatever happened in the van I didn’t want to
know about.
Of course Megan comes over one night and my friend
Nate says "I bet Jason didn’t have a condom in the van
that night so he just fucked you in the ass." The look
of embarrassment on Megan’s face told the truth. Right
then I knew that Jason had done the dirtiest of deeds
on that summer night. I’ve heard Jason talk about some
of his girlfriends from the past and how he would fuck
them in the ass so I know he digs the back side.
Megan stopped coming around so much (thank god) and
the jokes died down and we all just kind of put the
horrible event that happened in the back of our minds
and tried not to bring it up when we took the van to a
show or something. Then one night we were at some
twenty-four hour breakfast house finishing up the
night when a guy I work with named Matt came walking
in. He sat down next to me and asked "Do you know
Megan _____?" I said yeah she got buttfucked in my
dads mini-van a while back. Matt started laughing and
let me in on a part of the story that I never wanted
to hear.
I guess Jason didn’t have a condom that night in my
crippled fathers mini-van so while plowing away at
Megan’s asshole he came to climax. That’s right, he
let his seed go right up the old poop shoot. As sick
as that may be, it gets worse. When he pulled out,
apparently Megan’s ass was full and couldn’t house the
gift Jason had just given her. When you add all the
numbers in this equation up, you get Megan shooting
Jason’s semen out of her ass all over the back of my
crippled fathers mini-van! SICK, FUCKING SICK!
I went a while without ever seeing Megan, but I
couldn’t wait till I did so I could ask her about this
story. Well about eight months pass and Jason came
back to Ohio for Christmas. One of the first things I
say to him was "That night in the van when you fucked
Megan in the ass, did she shoot your cum out of her
ass all over the van?" Jason turned bright red and
replied "Man I’m sorry, I swear when I get back home
and make some money I’m going to send you enough money
to have the van detailed." He never even tried to deny
it.
About a month ago we were at the all night breakfast
house again, only this time I saw Megan and when the
time was right I asked her pretty much the same
question I asked Jason. She also didn’t deny it and
just had the same look of embarrassment on her face.
All the pieces to this puzzle seem to fit and I’m
pretty sure this is the worst story to ever grace the
pages of Hub-Bub zine. I thought about embarrassing
Jason and Megan by suing them on the Peoples Court but
I think when they see this story they will be punished
enough. In fact I want to thank them for giving me
something to write about
-DannyDisgruntled