If you've got an internet connection, chances are that you've checked out the personal ads. Maybe you replied to a few, and even gotten yourself laid (very unlikely, but maybe). We here at Hub Bub are going to help you along your way to internet lovin' and cyber-sex.

First Off, everybody lies. The guys do not have 9" cocks, and the women are not 110lbs. Always get a picture before you arrange a meeting. If the other person does not have a picture, this should come as a warning. Obviously, there's something wrong. Click over to the next one.

Chat rooms are a great place to look for other lonely people. We usually hang out in MIRC's lobby room. Other good places are Yahoo(Chat and Messenger). Try to single out your candidates and send them private messages. The more poles you have in the water, the more fish you're gonna catch.

Single parents are all over the place. Most are women doing their husband hunting so be warned guys. Find out if they got kids up front. Sure, MILFs are easy sex, but don't get too attached. And never let them find out where you live.

Watch out for little kids pretending to be adults (unless you're a little kid or a pedophile). Teenagers think it's a hoot to get online and have some cybersex. Tell them that you'll come over and break their Transformers; that usually shuts them up pretty fast.

• Jerry - here's a guy from Portsmouth that wants you to come and nail his wife. She's a looker. Feel free to go check out their photos on his profile (nude of course). Take plenty of pain pills, and it's a sure thing.
• Bambi - this fine mama is into the whole scat scene. She's looking for a lesbian to come over and poop on her. Her turn-ons include corn, enemas, and rough toilet paper.