Dumb Questions from Issue #4
Alright our last two interviews of the month came to us from two ladies at a local bar called Frank & Steins. The first lady's name is Claudette. She was taking the money for the cover charge, since there was a band playing that night. This lady is 45 years old and had trouble hearing, not because her husband plays in a rock band but because her ex-husband used to beat her. She has probably the best interview of the month so I hope you enjoy.
1. HB: If you could have one cd stuck in your player what would it be?
Claudette: Stevie Ray Vaghn.
2. HB: What is your all-time favorite toy?
Claudette: My husband.
3. HB: If you could go back and change one thing you did in High School, what
would it be?
Claudette: I wouldn't change a thing.
4. HB: What goes through your mind when I say I'm not wearing underwear?
Claudette: Cool!
5. HB: If you could have one extra body part, what would it be?
Claudette: Another hand, for more play power.
6. HB: What's the closest thing you've done to being gay?
Claudette: Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. I'm never going back.
7. HB: Name one thing you wouldn't do, even for your best friend?
Claudette: Steal or lie.
8. HB: What is the dumbest thing a guy has said to you, trying to get laid?
Claudette: Wanna go see the submarine races. It was so stupid I took off my shoe and knocked him out with my spiked heel.
9. HB: Name something more gross than eating mayonnaise with your fingers
while on the toilet with diarrhea?
Claudette: Eating a man with the shits!
10. HB: Was doing this interview better than sex?
Claudette: Fuck no! Because I didn't have anything in me but beer.
*Bonus HB: Have you ever had your thumb in it?
Claudette: Honey I've had my thumb everywhere!
Alrighty, our last interview of the month was done it Claudette's friend. I didn't catch her name so we will just call her CF. Both women were around the age of 45 and both used to be married to same guy. I guess the guy used to beat them both up so neither one of them can hear on of one side. I said that Claudette had the best interview of the month but now that I've reviewed this one, it's a toss up. Either way both of them are really good and great way to come back after a month off.
1. HB: If you could have one cd stuck in your player, what would it be?
CF: The Eagles
2. HB: What is your all-time favorite toy?
CF: My husband. (Boy do these girls like their husbands)
3. HB: If you could go back and change something you did in high school, what would it be?
CF: I wouldn't quit.
4. HB: What goes through your mind when I say I'm not wearing underwear?
CF: How far down does your penis hang?
5. HB: If you could have an extra body part, what would it be?
CF: I want a penis to grown out of my hand, then I could put it anywhere I want!
6. HB: What is the closest thing you've ever done to being gay?
CF: Never done anything gay. *she was lying out her teeth*
7. HB: What is one thing you wouldn't do, even for your best friend?
CF: I wouldn't kill.
HB: If your friend had a dildo stuck in them, would help get it out?
CF: Hell yes, I'll help friends anyway I can. *and she said she's not gay*
8. HB: What is the dumbest thing a guy ever said hoping it would get him laid?
CF: A guy told me he was impotent and I could bring him out of it. So I fell for it.
9. HB: Name something more gross than eating mayonnaise with your fingers
while on the toilet with diarrhea?
CF: Cleaning Vomit off of someone genitals.
10. HB: Was doing this interview better than sex?
CF: Absolutely not! I didn't climax!
*Bonus- HB: Have you had your thumb in it?
CF: Absolutely! Yeah baby!