February 28, 2003(Friday)

This is comparatively a quiet day. Nothing much happened and I am glad for that. I talked to my boss (Rhamer) about studying online MBA. He seems to be interested in that and asked me for some info. I need him to write me a good reference letter and may end up being online classmate? I sent him an email with some result of my research. I am back to a school counselor, which I was when I was in High school and university. (Many aunties and uncles asked me about studying in Vancouver and what to study when I was in school).

February 27, 2003(Thursday)

I spent a lot of time with NetUNO. My boss told me that NetUNO does not have a contract for us. That means they are not paying for the service that we (in particular, I) offer. My boss will talk to the customer regarding about this situation and asked them for some contract and some money. Ha ha, I guess that NetUNO will die if they did not have our support consider that there are so many problems in their network (of course, it is not I that do the support. It is the Cisco engineer. But they are using my name and the company's contract to do all these support) The customer is very anxious to fix the problem. They sent me an email or MSN me every hour. It is very stressful to have a customer going on like that, and email cc to my boss to check whether I have done my work or not. I am doing my best to please him. I response to his request instantly each time and assured him that he has a very high priority (they have no contract with us. There is no reason that I do this except to guarantee future customer)
I icq Carmen for 45 mins. It is good to icq her and understand what we are up to. It is not easy to maintain a long distance relationship but thanks to icq and MSN, we are doing quite well (with a cheap cost). Of course, it can not replace the physical presence.
I went to MB church for campamento music practice and then went to Chi Kong's house to eat noodles. We talked alot about music and singspiration leading too

February 26, 2003(Wednesday)

I got an urgent phone call from customer NetUNO (again) about their network down. Some of the card is resetting and all their ADSL customers are down. I opened up case in Cisco again and miraclely this thing is solved in two hours. I am really impressed. However, for the rest of the day, customer still kept on asking other problem. That is the tough life. I am making the customer as happy as I can. This is not an easy thing to do but I guess that I am trying my best. It really helps to "learn" how to talk in all those church politics so that I can be smooth in work as well.
I went to Dr. Chu house at night for dinner. The last time that we had spaghetti was several months ago, when Mrs. Chu cooked for us. I also spent some time play with YiSon and observed Paul (YiSon's little 1.5 month old brother). Afterward we had meeting for the MB church Chinese youth fellowship. These committee members are all new and they did not know what they are supposed to do. They all start from the beginning, but we can see who will run faster and further. I gave a lot of idea, guidance. I wish that I am the president so that I can lead them, but I am glad that I am not, or else my Columbia working plan will mess them up.

February 25, 2003(Tuesday)

I had discussion with Pastor and also Ricky about my sharing (see link in Jan 29) for the church 10th yr anniversary. They wanted to cut 1/3 of my sharing. Usually I am not a picky person here. I don't mind to eat whatever and do whatever (a big change from the Hubert of Vancouver). However, I am picky on this kind of thing. It is my writing style and I like to have everything. But well, I know that Satan had a part in this and wanted me to have pride. So finally I decided that the church unity is more important than my sharing's originality.
I was at work and wanted to do some RMA equipment but the room is used by the other CCIE for his study. I remembered that people used to call me "scholar" here and now there is a second one. The only difference is that, I am not interfering with anyone but his presence actually took the space that I can work. I am not happy about that. Kind of regret helping him to pass his CCIE.
I went to Baptist Church at 6:10 for the Outreach. It was a panel discussion; the host is Paco and the guests are Pastor Loh and Semson. There are quite a lot of MB church people came and were the largest group among the four outreach. I am in charge of the music and also music. I always find myself beloved in Baptist Church. Every time when I go there, there is a crowd of people with mixing background (youth vs. adult vs. children, male vs. female, Chinese vs. Spanish) It feels so good to have such a large family in church and almost everyone love and care about me.
Since I was busy with preparing for the night, I did not have dinner before the program. I went afterward with Che So to her restaurant to eat.

February 24, 2003(Monday)

Some of the co-workers did not greet me. That quite upset me. Also, the other CCIE was studying for some exam and used the space that I am supposed to work on (the lab room). I was upset again. Basically I helped him getting through his exam but he never talk to me except ask me tips for exam. I guess that I have enough and should stop helping him.
I icq Carmen in the afternoon and talked about our daily life. I also icq Fiona about my suggestion on her wedding. I went to Paco's house for dinner at night.

February 23, 2003(Sunday)

I was the singspiration leader at worship and led the following songs: "Come worship God" (ACM's "Revive me"), Shout to the Lord (in Chinese), Prince of Peace (ACM's "Prince of Peace), Move Force Faith Hope Love (ACM's Album #6) and
During the Sunday School, we shared about the strength and the weakness of each person. That went pretty good, although not as deep as I like. I had lunch with the Spanish Youth at church because I need to practice the campamento music with them. I was silent most of the time because I don't know what they are talking about. We practiced the campamento music afterward. The adults came in the middle and wanted to practice a song of next week and kick them out. I did not like that so I invited the adult to another room and I practiced with them.
I went to MB Church for campamento practice and ate dinner with Chi Kong afterward. We talked about our love life and gave him advices as to how to date.

February 22, 2003(Saturday)

I went to "something" club (really don't know the name) to play Tennis with Ricky in the morning. And then Mr. Wong, Mrs. Wong and eventually Cristina joined us and we talked about church stuff for 5 or 6 hours. I went with Mrs. Wong to distribute flyers about the Outreach in Feb 25 afterward. She has the burden, experience and the gift to go to different restaurants and talks to the waiters there.
I tried to teach them sing "Doxology" in different part during the choir practice. It takes me 1.5 hours to teach them half of that song! Afterward, we went out to have dinner. It was one of the very few times that I go out to eat without the presence of any adult (e.g. Pastor, Ricky, Che So or Mrs. Wong). I was able to talk and joke around like how I did with my church friends in Vancouver.

February 21, 2003(Friday)

According to "Murphy's Law", customer's network will be perfect until either right before lunch or before going home or Friday afternoon. NetUNO really had problem before lunch today. But I am glad that there is Cisco engineer that I can contact online for support. In order to avoid the last part of the "Murphy's Law" to be true, I turned off my MSN messaging before leaving work. It is good to have online capability to contact the customer but on the other hand people would be able to trace what I am doing. This is the same reason as cell phone. I am scare that if my cell phone ring, it may mean that there is something wrong and I need to go back to work.
I talked to the "CFO" in our company about advice about what school should I study for online MBA. Recently I am actively asking Ricky about this and did research myself too. I don't want to leave my full time job and I don't plan to go to pure management anyway. Therefore, online would serve the best interest of myself.
We discussed briefly about how the Chinese youth had no people to take care after Pastor left. That is one of the burden that I had and also one of the reasons I don't understand why God send me to Columbia. After prayer meeting, Ricky, Pastor Loh and I discussed on the church 10th yr anniversary. Pastor and I had some disagreement again and we ended up used his suggestion. There is lots of church politic involve.

February 20, 2003(Thursday)

I still need to fix the NetUNO ASAP in the morning, but there is nothing much that I can do. And then I was assigned to test the RMA (don't really know what it means) equipment. They are the type of Cisco equipments that had problem. I got to spend in a separately room for a long time to work on it. I find that I am happier and freer to work by myself then sitting besides people and working with others. This is the different side of me. In church, I love to work with others and be with others. However, at work, or even at school, I love to be alone. I have many "this kind of extreme" exists within me. I always wonder which the real self is.
I went to MB Church for campamento music practice. Actually my main goal is not to practice music but to pull different people together. There had been really large conflict (even a "literal" fight) between the team member. No unity at all. My job is not easy! I went to Baptist Church from 9 to 12 to talk about the 10th yr anniversary program with Pastor Loh; we had some disagreement about the Saturday and Sunday program. I also tried to scan some pictures using his scanner. I tried to install the driver to my computer but it does not really work. I hope that I did not overwrite some kind of cookies or whatever; I am already a "laptop killer".

February 19, 2003(Wednesday)

I had high pressure to fix the NetUNO case today. Co-worker asked me to open it as a Priority 1 case (previous was P3, I opened a P2 yesterday). They really wanted to get that fixed today. I spent coordinate the effort from 9:30 to 3:30. During lunch time, the customer wanted to take a break. I told them that if they want to take a break, they must email me and my boss saying that they are taking a break. I received a lot of pressure to fix this problem immediately; it is not easy to find a Cisco engineer to fix the problem so if the customer wanted to take a break, that means that they are not as urgent as my co-worker thinks. It is one of the times that I really put pressure to someone during my career life. Since we communicated with MSN messengers, I am not sure what their reactions are but I hope that I would not annoy them.
The problem seemed to be solved without knowing the reason. Therefore, we stopped at 3:30 and I went home to have afternoon nap at 3:45. (I had afternoon nap every working day at lunch time). I went back to work afterward. I had dinner with Chuen and Elisa from MB church fellowship. I spent from 6:40 to 8:50 to explain to them what they are supposed to do as a fellowship president and devotional department. They are naive and I had to spend a lot of time to explain to them step by step. I hope that I did not scare them or give them a lot of pressure. (I know I did, but it is my responsibility to say it).

February 18, 2003(Tuesday)

I contacted the Cisco engineer for my NetUNO's case at the late afternoon. I was very anxious in getting the problem fixed and tried to contact several Cisco Engineer and also opened up several cases. However, I got a "lecture" from the Cisco engineer that it does not work and would only delay the troubleshooting time. And then I tried to follow his instruction and used telephone to open up an "urgent" case. For this "priority 2" case (previous was priority 3), I need to be on the phone all the time. It was late afternoon and I was very worry that I cannot go to church because of that. Somehow the customer was offline at 6 and I can't contact him. Therefore, I apologized (why should I?) to the Cisco engineer and told him to reschedule the troubleshooting to tomorrow morning. It does not make sense to him because if that is an urgent case, we need to get that fixed today. It turned out that the customer was just getting a phone call and not on Internet so I can't contact him at that time. If not, that I probably can't go to church. That would be bad.
I went to church for the music practice. I got a call from the customer at that time. I was so feared that he wants me to go back to the office to work. However, we agreed to reschedule to tomorrow morning as I did with the Cisco Engineer.

February 17, 2003(Monday)

There was supposed to be a NetUNO customer troubleshooting. However, the customer had a meeting in the morning, and also the Cisco Engineer is on vacation today. Therefore, there is nothing much going on today in work.
I went to church with Ricky to test out the LCD machine for PowerPoint presentation for the 10th yr anniversary. He was waiting for me in front of the bank and when I arrived there, I saw him talking to the police and looking at the car. I feared that he may have a car accident or the police are harassing him to get money because he is foreigner. It ended up that he is actually stopped at "yellow line" and should get a ticket. This is the first time that I heard people get ticket in Venezuela. The police tried to talk to him but he (and I) has no idea what he is talking because it is in Spanish. The police let us go, probably because we don't know Spanish. (However, if we are local people or if we know Spanish, we will probably get the ticket. Of course, the ticket money will go to the police's pocket and not to the government!)
I had dinner with Ricky and Pastor Loh. Afterward, I went to Che So house to talk for a while and went home at 10.

February 16, 2003(Sunday)

I went to Baptist Church and played guitar for Pastora Loh, who was the singspiration. And she taught the Sunday School. We had luncheon afterward. (There was a lot of luncheon in Baptist Church. Almost every other week there is luncheon and the rest of the time there is informal eating time) There was a co-worker meeting from 2-6:30. There is no "deacon" in this church, only "co-worker". It is different name but essentially do the same thing. That was a very long meeting. I am supposed to arrive to MB church at 5:30 for the campamento music practice but I have to wait for someone to drive me. This is very inconvenient and made me feel very tired.
I canceled the campamento music practice. MB Church Chinese fellowship started at 7 and I taught them the "hand sign" song that I learnt from Vancouver in my 2002 December visit. I went home at 9:20 and did some "housekeeping" stuff. Today is a long day (24 hrs!) and tiring. Mainly because the co-worker meeting went longer than I think. And I can understand why usually pastor has Monday as their day off.

February 15, 2003(Saturday)

I went to "something" club (don't know the name) to play tennis with Ricky. When I went to the parking lot, I find that I am back to Vancouver west end - Benz, BMW. I seldom play tennis in Canada; Ricky played it occasionally either. So we were not that good. Afterward, I went to "drink tea" with Che So, Megan, Victor, Kin Ping, some other people. I have not tried "dim sum" for a long time because there is only three or four restaurant here has dim sum. I went to Pastor Loh house and chatted about my Columbia working plan and also the Chinese Youth group. I chatted with Pastor Semson Nip next about Chinese youth group in MB church and music ministry. I went to church and practiced for tomorrow's singspiration, which was responsible by Pastora Loh.

February 14, 2003(Friday)

I have arranged to call Carmen for a long time already as a Valentine Present. However, I thought that the call will be 7:30am her time. Therefore, I just went to McDonald to enjoy my meal. I was waiting there for 30 mins for it to open the door (apparently they changed the opening hour from 10:30 to 11:00) and then I had my Cdn$1.5 Hamburger (which is quite expensive). It turned out that the call actually is 11:00am my time (7:00am her time). I hate myself for forgetting this little detail (which most male does, but I am always proud that I would not forget these details). She was on time and I am not.
I got a call from my boss saying that the upgrade this past Wednesday had some problems. I hate the fact that the customer talked to my boss to pressure me. I have already emailed my customer back and forth several times yesterday and today regarding that and now he told my boss. I have told him that I have contacted the Cisco engineer, just that the Cisco engineer is not responding to me. When I went to work, even the sales asked me what is going on with this. I can feel the great pressure. That is part of life of a Network Consultant. I have finally contacted the Cisco engineer but he is leaving for something else. Therefore, I am left into the dark. I have opened another TAC cisco case. I am glad that it did not end up destroying my weekend. I get to work on it next Monday.
Pastor Loh told me that another person, Luisa, is getting married. The engagement party was tonight (Valentines Day). That is quite shocking to me, because she had only dated for two or three months. This is the third (or fourth?) person I know here that date for less than half a year and get married. What is going on here? If this is their custom, no wonder it would really shock them if I tell them that I have dated for 8.5 years. Pastor told me that this is really normal for people to date for several months and get married. It is part of the concept that they brought from China. Here is another observation. The several people that I know are all female believers and they all dated with non Christian. Some are older (27) and some are young (21).
Getting married is a complex issue here. There are three steps that people should follow. First, they need to register to the government, which only open on weekday. (Neither the pastor nor the Catholic Fathers here has the right to be the witness; as opposed to the registered pastor in Canada can be the witness). This is the legal step. Then there is the ceremony in church, which should be taking place in the weekend. This is the Christian step. And if their parents are in China, they need to go back and have a banquet in order to be married in their parents. In my Canadian background, people would do all these in the same day, but this is not the case here.
I was attending their engagement party, which is very rare case. However, they treat it as wedding ceremony because of some complicated reason. I find that this is poorly organized. No one really knows what is going on and no one is dressed up, except the groom (He did not wear a tie. And when he came down to open door for us, he was just wearing shorts at that time!) And the bride (for some reason, why would she wears black, not white?) Not many people brought gift (How am I supposed to prepare anything if I just know that in the afternoon? They made the decision within a few days only). They prepared everything last minute. They don't have a photographer. Luckily that Pastor Loh brought his digital camera there, but there is no battery. So they have to give us some battery. I wondered that if they know how my friends prepare the wedding (usually 6 months, and some are even 1 year and for my case, 1.5 yrs!), they would learn anything.

February 13, 2003(Thursday)

I went to eat practice for the campamento singspiration at MB church. I was trying to teach them "Power of Your Love" and "Days of Elijah" in Spanish and this is working pretty well, with the help of tapes.
I had dinner with Ricky at night again. We went to "Lai King" restaurant, which we have been for many times. Those who know me know that I hate to eat "short gua". I am quite hungry today and I am "ng ho yee see" refused his suggestion of eating "short gua" so I ended up eating more than half a dishes of that. This is not that bad after all and I am more prepared if people during my wedding need to "play" me and ask me to eat this.
Besides talking the usual stuff (church politic), I asked him about my future career too. This is the conclusion. I am more suitable to be the technical management. With my M.Eng degree, it would be good to have a MBA. However, I don't need to go to the top school (e.g. MIT or Stanford) but an online one or Canadian one would be good enough. This is a good suggestion which matches my expectation as well. Therefore, I will start to do some research on the online MBA and hope to start getting on it by the end of this year or next year.

February 12, 2003(Wednesday)

I went to work and greeted the woman sitting besides me. I have to say the second time in order to get back a reaction. I have a problem with her for a long time. She always complained when I eat here. And for some reason, I can feel that she really dislike me. Therefore, I just cannot wait any longer and asked her bluntly that is there anything that she is not happy about that. I apologized in advanced for whatever that I did (it turns out that just the smell of the food, which I have not eat at my desk for a long time). I am sure that my willingness to confront bluntly yet apologized in advanced would surprise her. I picked up all these "soft" skill (people skill) from my church.
There was a company meeting, first time ever since I have been to Desca, that talks about what the boss's plan is. It was in Spanish and I was trying my best to understand as much as possible. I would never trust people saying that "body language" and tone counts as 70% of the communication because I paid attention and yet I can only understand very little. I asked people afterward and knew what my boss said in general.
The three CCIE will be the last to be laid off. (As if there is not enough jealousy for me already) That is good (but I knew that I will be ok already). He also asked most people (excluded the consultants guys, like me) to take a 60 days no-paid vacation. That is quite a lot. We are in a better situation compare to other technical company, which has to declared bankruptcy.
There is a customer work that I need to do at night. That is so cool. I don't have to go to their site. I can sit at my office and relax. I can do the entire co-ordination thing remotely. (It must be noted that the technology that the customer is using now, I have no idea about that. However, I have to be here because I have to do support. I open a case for Cisco engineer. My job is just to be a coordinator. I am AOL with the cisco engineer and then tell the customer, who can speak English, through telephone. And that person use telephone to talk to the technician who is actually doing the job)
The maintenance took longer than I think. In the middle of it, I got a chance to talk to one of my boss. He was the one that post the job on the list and has poor English skill. We seldom talked to each other and his attitude to me is not as good previously. However, I gave him a gift after my Vancouver visit of last month. He seems to be more pleasant to me now. It really works. He asked me about some tips for taking the CCIE test, the one that I passed it first time but he hasn't, even after 11 times. He also asked me about my background and explained the little bit difference between English and Spanish. It is a start with a "normal" relationship with one of my boss.
I went to Dr. Chu house for a short sharing time with the MB church fellowship. I shared with them about I am leaving and someone needs to help out with the Baptist Church youth. However, there is some issue. It is not possible simply to ask them to come because that would like "steal sheep". I also tried to carry YiSon; he is so heavy now, or because I have not carried him for a long time?

February 11, 2003(Tuesday)

I talked to the other CCIE. He can speak Spanish but since he is from oversea and earns US dollar (while everyone else earns Venezuela Bolivar) and he does not have lots of project to work on, he can feel that the sales and the consultant people (which is pretty much most of the company) are not happy with him. I am glad to know this because that means that I am not alone.
Work is as usual, except that my big boss is back. It is really important to talk to him. When I was in Vancouver, parents gave me some gifts and give to the co-workers here. It seems like that it really works well. And I gave my boss a glass box with a luxury dragon boat inside and he asked me what that meaning is. I told him that "dragon" symbolize China and usually the emperor would ride on dragon boat (not the dragon boat that we had but the really luxury one). I am sure that it pleases him a lot, and I am amazed at this "brushing shoe" skill.
He asked me to go to Bogot?(capital city of Columbia) at the end of March for about six month. We will start an office over there on April 1. He will move 8 people (he called "dream team", guarantee to be the best in Columbia) and I am honored enough to be one of the chosen ones. Besides that, there is currency regulation in Venezuela and there will be no way for the company to pay me in US dollar, but they can pay me in US dollar if I work in Columbia. We will be travel back and forth between Bogot? And Columbia once or twice a month, depends on the work load in Caracas.
This is a mixed emotion to me. On one hand, I am happy to be one of the chosen one (more to this in the next paragraph) and I won't be fired in the short term. It sounds like a challenge. From HK to Canada and then to Venezuela and now to Columbia. God surely has His plan for me. So probably I am doing a good job in Caracas and I need to go to another site to help the church (if there is one?). This time it must be more challenging. On the other hand, I will really miss my brothers and sisters in Venezuela. I used to see them every other day or even everyday. In the future I will be able to see them once a month. That is a pain! I am not too worried about the political and safely issue because I am already in Caracas. Boss said that the situation is more or less the same.
He asked me to post another ad of hiring a CCIE. We are one of the best partners of Cisco but we still need one more CCIE. There were an ad posted before and there is not many people responded. Some of those are from US or Turkey or even Afghanistan. He said that he did not consider them because the company is paying the price of hiring me (the cultural difference). I quickly moved to the other topic. So I guess that one of the reasons that he wants me to go to Columbia is because I have no bonding in anyone in the company.
I will talk to people my church friend and told them that my time here is limited. And also I need to find out whether there is a Chinese church in Bogot?or not.
I went to church to practice for the Feb 25 Outreach. It is sad to see these people today because I know that I will be leaving them in 1.5 month. I announced publicly (can't believe I will do this announcement publicly? that's me) and some of them are quite sad but not too surprise because since December I said that I may get laid off anytime. I remembered what the reaction my FCGC teens are when I told them that I will go to Venezuela. I also remember that when I first come to Venezuela we farewell Pastor Loh's son and I was a "nobody" at that time. Life certainly changed after 9 months.
According to Pastor Loh, there is neither a Chinese church nor a Chinese Bible Study group in Bogot? Of course, there is English Church, but still it is very depressing. However, after some quiet time, I have some other thought about God's purpose. My mission to be in Venezuela is to help out with the church. My mission is almost complete (but I don't really agree because there are still lots of room for me to work on. It would be best if I can stay for 1 more year). It is time to move to the next site (I am reading Acts in my devotion time and I really think that I am a tent-maker, Paul. My character is quite similar to his and my life, as of now, is quite similar to his. Hope that I won't end up in jail like he was). One of the greatest concerns is that there is no Chinese Christian and church is my life in the last 9 months. How can I survive? But I really have faith that things will be straightened and ok when it comes. I would never imagine I have what I have in Venezuela when I was planning to move here. Therefore, I trust that God will have some kind of plan for me. May be I will see two or three Chinese Christian and we will start a Bible study group? I am proud to be a special tool of God. This matches the motto of my life - life not necessary to be long but needs to be excited. May be I should change my favorite Bible verse from Jn 11:35 (Jesus wept) to Jn 10:10b (I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full)
If I have a choice, I would rather be a tent maker and go to difference place to serve, then a full time missionary. I would have more freedom and flexible. And this suits my personality too. But who knows what my next step will be! (I really changed. I used to be a control freak and like to plan for my future and I would hate not to know my future. Now, life is more unpredictable)

February 10, 2003(Monday)

I spent about 1.5 hours to update my diary. The internet is slow nowadays so I can write diary while waiting for the internet to download some page (which is what I m doing now).
I went to Che So house for dinner. When she drove me home Carmen called. I only talked to her 58s. She was driving home at that time and when I called her back about an hour later, she was not at home and no one answered her cell. I was quite worry especially because she is busy nowadays. I was also thinking that how I can get air ticket fast if there is anything happen. It turned out that she went to have sauna. She told me in her call but I just forgot. Thanks God that everyone that I know in Vancouver is safe as of now.

February 09, 2003(Sunday)

The choir performed "Pray for this land" (from ACM's Prince of Peace). I led the Sunday School and talked about our love life. I shared about how I proposed to Carmen. There was a new comer who shared about a situation of his friends too. There were so many swear words between his sharing. This is one of the first times that I heard people swear in church (but I have seen people smoked in church several times).
I had a meeting for the 10th year anniversary committee and some other adults. I absolutely hated it. Given that I am friends with most people in the church and not belongs to any group, I still had to be PERFECTLY politically correct. I had to make sure that they know what I am saying. For example, I initiated this anniversary committee so that not all people are necessary to come to the meeting. However, some of them thought that I am kicking them out and don't let them to know what is going one. They were just joking but it is very dangerous to let this concept flow to others or else my hard work of "friends with everyone" will be gone. For some reason, I can feel that there is some potential or hidden conflict between Mrs. Tse and myself. I do not really like how she handles thing and acted like the leader and I am sure that she would not like how I am doing thing too. I hope that this will be my last time serving with adults. However, my life has to serve at church, and I also will jump into even nastier situation, but studying MBA and working as a manager. I learnt a thing that it is easier to talk and convey my idea to people offline. And that's why I got the support of Ricky, Che So, Mrs. Wong. (If I don't get their support, then I will be dead. The situation will be really hostile!)
I had late lunch with Ricky Lam, Mr. and Mrs. Wong. (Did I say that I am really "lo chik" and mature?) I asked Ricky about how he feels about our church situation. There are too many "conservative" women, namely C 9, in our church. That really causes a lot of problem as far as planning and management concern. He felt that it is God's plan to move him to Venezuela and his mission is to light the fire of the church and to organize the church. I can also feel that it is God's plan for me to help the Chinese Youth and also improve the music quality. We are both "on contract" to this church and must train leaders ASAP or else our mission fails. We went to Ricky's house and talked for a while too.
I went to MB Church to practice for the campamento music. Afterward, Chi Kong and I went to have dinner. We talked about the church stuff, music ministry and also his love life. He just starts dating and I gave him some of the advice too. I talked to Fernando on telephone at night for 20 mins about how I observed the problem of the Spanish youth yesterday. I suggested to him to increase the bonding between people.
Today is really a talking-careful day. I am walking on a string and if I am tilted to either side, I will die. I have two two-sides. One two-side is in Baptist church, and the other two-side is in MB Church. I can see that there will be a new two-side that is coming, which is between the Baptist Church and MB Church. Thanks God that I am still "friend" with all these sides (I don't think that anyone can do better than this!) but on the other hand, since I am in this very unique situation, I must be extremely careful. And I can not share this with anyone because I don't want to be bias on any side. My only side is I am tilted in God's side. (This is always politically correct!) I called Carmen and talked for about 8 mins. I really wish that she is here to share my burden but she has her burden in Vancouver that I can not share. Currently, both of us are learning how to share the burden to God (we are not in the stage to "cast" all the burden to God, but only able to "share" some of the burden to God)

February 08, 2003(Saturday)

I originally wanted to sleep over at Mrs. Wong's house but since she was too tired, I did not. In the morning, I went hiking with Cristina, Megan, Victor, Kin Ping and Ricky Lam. Of course, I am the fittest one. Megan quitted in the middle of the hill (about 20 mins hike) because she felt too fainted. Afterward, we went to Ricky's house to take a shower and had lunch at Che So's house. I found myself more mature and "lo chik" because I really spent time talking to adults who are at least 20 years older than I am. I was sitting down with Ricky, Che So and her husband and listen to them talk about the political situation of Venezuela and the culture of South America. I can't imagine that how I can shift from a crazy person who enjoys going to teenager’s fellowship to sitting down drinking coffee and talking about politics with adults who are my dad's age. Venezuela changes me a lot.
I went to Spanish Youth fellowship in the afternoon because they wanted me to teach them two English songs. I taught them "Power of Your Love" and "Days of Elijah", both of which are my favorite songs with Spanish Translation. After singing in English once, I can tell that they do not appreciate that at all. I put up the Spanish translation on the overall projector while I was singing the English version (this is the best that I can do). Half of them still keep on talking and don't even respect me. I am not happy about this. It is my fault that I can't speak and sing in Spanish. On the other hand, some of them need to learn how to respect the people on stage and to be focus. (I lost focus some of the time, but just not that bad).
I went to Baptist Church and practiced for the choir. Some of us also raised up a point that we would like to have a more professional and high quality worship team. I am quite happy about that. We have a good pianist (Chi Kong), good voice (Eric), guitar (Roberto) and I will be leading them. We need a drum set but a trampoline will do for now. I told them that my strongest gift is not in music and I can only lead them to this far. Afterward, I would enjoy sitting down and listen or participate while others are leading. This was what I did to the Canaan worship team and FCGC worship team. I initiated both and led the FCGC worship team for a while, but both of which are independent and mature now that I can sit down and relax. I can focus on some other ministry. I hope that one day these people will be self sufficient too.

February 07, 2003(Friday)

I lost some of the energy to study during work today. I probably used up all yesterday. But I am just in the very beginning (second day of serious study) so I got to pick up what I left off last time. I also had problem with my yahoo account. I can not log on to any of my yahoo account, including geocities, briefcase, groups and so on.
I ate at Ricky's house. He used to invite me to his house for dinner during Friday night and I went to his house again. However, he did not act too enthusiasm this time. Probably because his maid only comes on weekday and there is no food left for him for the weekend? (But that was the case before). We talked about church situation again. We hoped to share it publicly at the prayer meeting during the night. We prayed about that and we did share it with some people during prayer meeting. Ricky shared some of his concern to all people that people are talking behind the back and never have the courage to share it out face to face. He challenged us to share it publicly. He did it more smoothly than I thought. (When he talked to me alone, he was very blunt). I am glad that people do appreciate this sharing (Usually when the clock strike 10pm, Mrs. Cheng would want to go home but during this time, even she, for the first time, is willing to stay and listen for 20 more minutes). People also asked for my sharing. It is one of the important sharing I had to do in Venezuela. I have talked to different people about the church situation but I have neither expressed my position nor my opinion before. I did quite well. I did not express any definite position except that by saying that we need to be blameless and be true to each other. I am proud about my sharing skill and my logical thought.

February 06, 2003(Thursday)

Today is a long day of studying. My brain after being idle for 3 months, it is finally functioning. I spent about 5 hours (both at work and at home) studying QoS (Quality of Service) and Call Manager. I have skim through some of that during my flight in Dec 22, 02 but I forgot everything. Now I am trying to read it more detail. When the other CCIE looks at me, he asked me that "I am reading seriously?". I guess that he sparked me two days ago to go for the third CCIE and now I sparked him back too. Friendly competition? I also went to Paco's house for dinner.

February 05, 2003(Wednesday)

I was thinking for most part of the day whether I should enroll to my next CCIE test or not. For one, I saw my co-worker really studied for that and the "competitive" heart suggested me to go for that. In addition, I have really lost aim after passing my previous one. I have nothing better to do (of course I will still serve at church) so this may be a good thing to do. I need to clarify to myself that I am not going for better future employment opportunity (of course it would help. But the marginal advantage is not as great from 0 to 1 or from 1 to 2) and not for money (not exactly true because there is bonus for me to complete that CCIE). Oh well, I will see how the company's attitude is. I went to MB Church for the campamento music practice. We are having some problem here because some of the singers are quitting and we have only one person sing now (I can't sing because the songs are in Spanish). The songs are not easy too because they are in Spanish. (I told them that if we can sing in English or Chinese, then I can get that done within two weeks instead). Ricky Lam finally came back to Venezuela after his "first time in 10 years spent in Toronto with his family". He called me and we went out for dinner. This is the first time that I treat him out for dinner (He had treated me dinner for many many times). We talked about the church stuff mainly. (He also explained to me about how much it takes to retire. Actually, it does not take 1 Million dollars, as the "Prime America" company suggest. If there is a house already, it actually does not takes a lot of money) We will be in a sad (depends how you view it) situation. Pedro & Mei will go to HK to study Theology in several months for several years. Pastor Loh family will leave the church. Mr. Wong and family are thinking of emigrating to US after his lay off (this one really hurts!). If there is any political instability, Ricky (and I) may leave the country. Then, the church would really be in trouble. And it will be a really good time to witness what magical thing Jesus will do for his church. We then toured his new house afterward. I don't think that I have ever been to high class place like this (consider that I have been to five star hotel already!). The closest one that I have been to is his previous house (but both he and I agree that the new one is a better one). I was imagining at that time that it would be a nice place for the entire fellowship to visit for the retreat. There are several rooms that can fit about 30 people (of course, it would be a bit crowded) and also enough places to have six or seven Bible Study groups happening simultaneously. That would be nice to have company pays for the rent. It must prove that he is a very important person to the company. But if anyone should stay in a nice house like this, it should be the president of some electricity company (which is, Ricky) One thing that I am amazed at his character is that, even though he is rich ("white hand start house", a Chinese phase means that it start from scratch) and important to the company, he really serves faithfully in church, with the rest of us. It does not matter whether you are rich or poor outside, it is the serving heart that matters. This kind of attitude is something that I need to learn from him. I hope that one day I can be serving faithfully (which I guess I am doing pretty good now) and working faithfully (which I am not yet) too. I went back to my $80/month room afterward to sleep.

February 04, 2003(Tuesday)

Yahoo Geocities was down morning so I cannot update my diary of Feb 3 today.
The other CCIE Roberto was back from his Security CCIE lab exam. He failed it last time and then he just passed it this time. On the outside, I show that I am happy for him. Actually, during his studies in the last two months, I really helped him a lot and gave him my exam too. (He happened to have my exam this time). On the other hand, I don't feel good about this (but I did not show it) It is because he is not a friendly guy to me. He seldom greets me except when he needs help. And when he passes this time, he did not even say thank you to me for helping him pass the exam. People in the company can talk to him, but not really talk to me normally. And the usual jealousy had something to do here too. Of course I (and other people in the company) would not show the bitterness. I know that deep inside my heart I really wish that he failed (and I am sure that the same bitterness is felt when I passed my exam)
It more or less destroys my day. However, I must learn how to think this way. The Bible says that "laugh with those who laugh and mourn with those who mourn". It is so hard to laugh with those who laugh! Moreover, this is a human nature that I would be satisfied and happy at myself until I see someone better than I am coming (and in my case, it is not even true because I passed that exam). Nothing is lost for that person but that person really felt defeated if someone better came. This is something that I must overcome.
I had some other thought afterward. I was reading on the News for the explosion of the Columbia Space Shuttle. The article that strikes me is the biography of the commander Rick Husband. It is written that "Rick Husband was a devout Christian, a man who wasn’t embarrassed to discuss his faith on national TV. An Air Force colonel and the commander of the Columbia, he said one of the things he was most looking forward to about his second trip to space was learning more about Judaism from Ilan Ramon." The feeling I got from this description is similar to the feeling I had for the Christian character Michael that presented in the movie "The Climb" that I watched in FCGC in Jan 10. These two persons (even though one of them is fictional) possess some life quality that I really look forward to. I feel that they are extremely dedicated to their faith and would not fear to pronounce it in the public. They are successful career-wise, like to have fun, have good family and friendship and most of all (to me anyway) they are low key and don't like to boast their achievement (and both died young, at the age of about their 40s?). These are the kind of the Christian quality that I really want to be. I was thinking that what people would describe me and think about me when I die. Would I leave something for them? (Of course I will, but is that enough?) This is what I called the purpose of life. And when I think back to the jealousy I had an hour ago, that is nothing. I am thankful for the lesson and also thankful for a goal that I need to work up to.
Work is boring and there is not much thing I need to do. I chatted with Roberto about going for his (and my) third CCIE title. It seems like that the company is not supporting, but this is a goal in life. I can honestly agree that since I passed my test in Nov 4, I am not as discipline and not as hardworking. I need a goal too. But I am thinking that, would MBA would be a better goal for me?
I went to Baptist church friends (Chinese youth) house to have hot pot at night. There are about 20 people going. We ate a lot and played the memory game that Pastor Loh taught us in May 25, 02 and Oct 9, 02. I taught the Canaanites to play this game in Dec 31, 02 too. The atmosphere is a lot "fire explode" (Chinese, it means some argument and yelling) than all the previous time.

February 03, 2003(Monday)

I went to have discipleship training (but more for the sake of dinner) at night with Pastor Loh, Paco, Men, Luisa and a non believer. We chat about not to make other people fall down or stuff like that. Ah Men said that it is a relieve after seeing me in church because my words and action is not "traditional" and made some joke (But consider what I did in Vancouver, this is nothing). He used to be really uptight and cautious when speaking at church but that changed after seeing my behavior. On one hand, this is good because I always think that being a Christian is fun and does not mean that you loss freedom. On the other hand, I need to be very careful about how I act because people really look at me.

February 02, 2003(Sunday)

I was the Worship Service Director and also the Singspiration leader (second week in a row). We sang "Hevenu Shalom" (From ACM, they learnt that last week), "Inside Jesus" (ACM song, they knew it already), "wonderful Hand" (From "You are King" of ACM, they knew it already but I introduced them weird action that I learn in the ACM worship in 1998), "Power of Your Love" (In Chinese, of course) and also "You are willing" (From "Revive me" of ACM, I played flute on this song). Hmm, I like ACM songs a lot. That thing went pretty good, from my opinion. People had feedback several days ago that for the worship last time, they were a bit disappointed at my performance. They expected a lot from me and that was not as good as they expect. It is good to have someone expect a lot from me but still it does not feel good to make people disappointed. I am glad that my character is the type that likes to ask people for the feedback, especially the negative one. Therefore I would love to ask people again how I did today.
After the luncheon, I helped out in wiping table. I also pulled people from my Sunday School class to wash dishes. I need to teach them the responsibility that if you eat you need to wash. It is especially important because the adult in this church really cooked a lot for us. We had the "Worship service director and singspiration training". I attended only 15 mins of that because I was cleaning table before and went to MB church afterward.
MB Church had a Chinese New Year worship service. There was some paper stick to the bottom part of the some chairs. For those that have paper stick, they need to go up and answer a question (e.g. Bible Quiz or IQ or Chinese) and got a little bookmark. Semson and I had this idea when we were thinking about the Dec 25 Christmas program. I guess that he saved it until now. There were also some song performances. I was playing guitar for "Shout to the Lord", "1 Co 13:4-8" and played violin for the "Jesus loves you" and "Jehovah you are my God", both from Stream of Praises (since Semson likes Stream of Praises, we had lots of song in MB church that is from that CDs) It is really a music day for me.
We did not practice for the campamento music afterward because that service was from 3:20 - 6pm and there were food afterward. Chi Kong has to go to Pastor Loh's house to exchange gasoline for Pastor Loh and do his homework. So I went with him. Every time I ate at their house, I helped out in washing dishes, so their daughters really like me to eat there so that they don't have to clean up. As for me, I do not mind because I used to wash dishes afterward anyway for my last 12 years in Canada. This is also a way to serve this missionary family. They helped me a lot and I really appreciate that.

February 01, 2003(Saturday)

My school bag is broken. The zipper part broken and it took me 10 mins and I still can not fix it. Probably I need to have a new school bag. This purple one has been with me since 1996. (btw, I am still using my pencil case, which I have used since the end of 1993)
I went to MB Church to practice for violin and guitar for about 1 hour and then I went to Baptist Church for choir practice. Actually we were just practicing for the worship service of tomorrow. I taught them how to play the "find the camera" game that I taught the FCGC when I was there. I would like to teach these people for a long time but I am waiting until I have a stronger bond of relationship with them before teaching that. (However there is no good quality photo so I did not post any to the website). We also took some fun photo too. It is glad to take fun photo with good friends (I had fun photo with Canaanites, then FCGC and now these people).
Che So was there for the music practice too. Actually, for the last several times, and in the future, she will go there not to sing but to cook. I felt quite bad for that because we used her like a maid - we were having fun and singing while she was in the kitchen preparing food for us. I have expressed my concern to her but she said that she is alright with that and that is her way to serve us. I really appreciate that. I went to her house to stay over.