April 30, 2006(Sunday)

The topic of Sunday worship is about loving Jesus and the speaker uses the famous chapter John 21 for the book. I am very familiar with this study already. However, each time when I hear it, there is always something new. And at the end the speaker shares that he is a professor but he has struggle now that God calls him to be a pastor and he is not willing. He said that this sermon is for himself. I identify with what he talks too; therefore, when he asks who is willing to let God leads our way, just like how Jesus leads Peter ways to somewhere that Peter may not want to go, I stand up. I rarely stand up in this kind of occasion because I want to be sure what I am doing. Carmen is the translator today and even she felt moved and wept a bit. She rarely wept too.
We went to prayer meeting at night as usual.

April 29, 2006(Saturday)

I borrowed the car from Andy today because he went back to HK. Therefore Carmen and I went to College Mall. I stayed at Border Bookstore for 7 hours and brought the final exam there to work on, but then I spent about 3.5 hours watching Dragon Ball Comic. I just cannot resist that. My final exam is ok, and so I can relax a bit. However, I still need to do some more work in order to secure a higher grade for final exam.

April 28, 2006(Friday)

I have the second take home exam from today to next Monday. It is on PhD seminar, a very difficult class. I expect this exam to be tough and so far it sounds to be quite tough. I worked on it for 4 hours today.
At night, we went to fellowship. We practice music so that we can have a song offering next Friday farewell graduate night.

April 27, 2006(Thursday)

I went with classmates Greg and Valya to lunch in the afternoon to celebrate Greg's 40th birthday that will happen tomorrow. That is good to talk to classmates once in a while with issue not related to homework (but still, our sharing is largely about school)
At night, Joyce, Jo, Chi Fu came to our house for dinner and we discussed about what will happen for our group during the summer because I will not be here for a month. Actually I doubt that I will be group leader because I may be a deacon soon. Therefore, the group leader job will pass to someone. But still, I have to do the planning.

April 26, 2006(Wednesday)

There is a nomination for best Professor and I nominated the professor (Prof Seb) that I worked with in the last couple of months. Therefore, I went to the award luncheon and see whether he wins or not. Sadly, he did not. The several awards all go to the Marketing department, probably because they are large department so more PhD students get to vote.
I had a meeting with Prof Seb for the PhD project. We are starting to write the paper so I have to spend time to write paper now. And then at night we went to the recital of Nova (CCF friends). She also plays violin and she is playing her graduation recital for her Master of music. This is the second recital that we have been to, last one was March 6 (Hansel's birthday) of this year.

April 25, 2006(Tuesday)

After spending another 6 hours today, I am 80+% done with my Probability and Queuing take home final exam. At night, Jo, Joe, Chi Fu dinner at our house because during the exam period, we want to extend the hospitality that our parents have and let them to have dinner at our house so that they can have more time to study and relax.

April 24, 2006(Monday)

Today is the first day (out of 12 days) of the take home exam of the Probability and Queuing class. I enjoyed this class and the classmates usually either copy questions from me or ask me how I do the question. There are four questions. I did not study previously because I know the material pretty good and I don't know what to study. Therefore, for the first hour or so this morning, I read the exam (with 4 questions) and try to get my brain up to speed again. It takes a while to do the first question but then things started to get rolling afterward. I am able to finish 2.5 questions today. I think that I just new several more days and should finish the exam. I will have another take home final exam (PhD seminar) this weekend. I hope to finish the Probability and Queuing class exam this week so that I can focus on the harder exam during the weekend.
I usually go to do workout to prevent myself from getting frustrated in homework. Therefore, I went for workout today as well. That helps to refresh my brain. At night, Carmen cooks a lot of food because we are extending the hospitality tradition from parents and going to invite several Cantonese friends to come over for dinner in the next two days because they have to work hard on exam. I really appreciate Carmen with such a kind heart.

April 23, 2006(Sunday)

After Sunday Service this morning, there is an election for the nomination committee. I have experienced previously with the concept of nomination committee in Vancouver and at that time the current coworker cannot vote again to find the nomination committee from the non-coworker. However, some people reflected that this is not making sense and the constitution did not clearly mark what we should do. Therefore, afterward during the temp church committee, we think that, with 10 coworker cannot vote and only 30 people presence, that means, the 2/3 is not representative enough. Therefore, this is a mistake, and the coworker should vote again in the coming Sunday. I felt quite stressed and upset about this, because I proposed this idea and this will also delay the whole procedure of finding a new deacon. But I hope that we will learn from mistakes in the future. I just hope that we are not going to get political or else the church would be harmed.
We went to prayer meeting and then went to grocery shopping at night.

April 22, 2006(Saturday)

We had lunch with the temp church committee and their spouse. The purpose is to have a relax time (not talking about business stuff) and to farewell Chien Yie because she will move to Iowa to be with her husband next month. This is a good time to know each other's life and not just in the dimension of church stuff. In the afternoon, there is a brother's gathering. Actually there are only four young married men, Shangmin, Daniel, Xiaohu and I. We are both in the same age range and got married for less than two years plus no kid. We shared about NBA playoff, world cup, Taiwan independence and so on. Usually when men get together, topic will be either politic or sport.
At night, there is a gathering for our Macedonia group. The dynamic is much differs from the dynamic in the morning. These are a group of undergrad, as crazy as I am. Therefore, we had some water fight, had some game time and at the end had some sharing. I still remember that several months ago the Cantonese group is still very vulnerable but the bonding now is much stronger. I thank God for that. However, during summer time, there are 5 people leaving from our group. So we have to see how this would impact our future group dynamic.

April 21, 2006(Friday)

I had another presentation this morning for the PhD seminar. I am done with my presentation. What lies in front of me are three final exams and that's it. It surely feels good to (almost) get through my first year PhD program. However, I quite worry about the final exam for the PhD seminar because the prof will probably gives us hard questions. She said that, don't feel bad if we cannot finish all questions. Some will be easy. That means, some will be really hard.
In the afternoon, there is a departmental party at a pub. I am not a socialize person when it is with non-church people. I have no motivation to go there, but then I still went there because I want to have a good networking relationship with the professor and this will affect my future. We had pizza and coke (beer for other people). I talked to different people and trying to build up my image in front of other people.
At night, Carmen led singspiration in the fellowship while I played piano (and some other people play guitar). She did an excellent job in song leading as always. And then I hosted a cooperation game. I learned this game during my project management course in SFU when I studied Master of Engineering there. The purpose of this game is that, rather than having internal competition (in a church setting, it will be small circle), we should identity the true enemy is Satan and we should have trust in our fellowship such that we can share our weakness. I have led this game previously in FCGC and in my teaching class last semester. I also gave a short conclusion as well. I think that the night went pretty smooth. Afterward we went with other people to have snack at night.

April 20, 2006(Thursday)

I presented a paper in the Probability and Queuing class. In my previous presentation in the PhD seminar class, the professor asks us to present the math as detail as possible. However, for this class, the professor asks me to see the big picture instead and not get blog down into the detail. This gives me another dimension to look at the problem. Also, he mentioned that, as we get older, we will focus more on the big picture. The other two professors in the PhD seminar class are younger and they want us to look at the detail math, probably also because they want to build our foundation.
I had 2.5 hours meeting with the PhD project professor to set the frame work of the paper. And then Carmen and I had dinner at her working place Colin Residential Hall. This is buffet style and I ate a lot. At night, we practiced music because Carmen is going to lead music tomorrow night.

April 19, 2006(Wednesday)

As the school year approaching to the end, the work load is slightly less. At least for me anyway. What I left is two presentations (tomorrow and the day after) and also three final exams. That's all. I think that it is not too bad. Therefore, I can spend a bit more time on the PhD project and work on my paper. For the past several months, worked very hard on this paper, but only focus on the minor calculation detail. Today, I spent some times to brain storm about the lay out of the paper. Workout and running on the treadmill definitely helps me to step back and have some fresh idea. I will talk to professor tomorrow about the structure of the paper.
I think that the reason I am more relaxed even though there are so many things in school coming up (2 presentation, 3 final exams) is because I am always ahead of the game. I am never a last minute person and therefore I have basically done most that I needed to do. I have a good study habit.

April 18, 2006(Tuesday)

Today is another school day. Nothing special. I also asked the professor about something that I have learnt throughout the PhD seminar. I asked some basic thing because I learnt so many things and I am very much confused or the concept is not sure. I think that she is a bit disappointed that I ask all these basic concept. However, it is better to get disappointed now than later. I have already worked hard but still given the vast amount of info, I need some time to digest.

April 17, 2006(Monday)

I dedicated most of today for the PhD project. As I am working more and more, I find that there are more mistakes that I need to fix. I still don’t know whether there are further unseen problem. I hope there isn't any. Therefore, I spent most of today troubleshooting some unseen careless mistakes. The calculation is getting larger and more complicated so there are so many places that can have problems. I just want to get over it.

April 16, 2006(Sunday)

I went to church today and they handed out the church constitution and the membership form. Finally we can proceed to the next step and I am happy about this. And then, I went with Helen, Chunli and Jo and showed them the driving test route because Helen will take the test in the coming week. I got a bit lost when showing them the road. I think that I am still very unfamiliar with the road in Bloomington, mainly because I don't have a car for me to drive around. And then we went to grocery shopping.
At night, Andy and I went to Indianapolis to pick up Carmen from Grey Hound. We left at 7:10 and arrived to the bus station at 8:20. However, her bus delayed from 8:40 to 9:50 and so we were waiting in the bus station for 1.5 hours. Unlike airport, the bus station does not have any display about whether the bus is here or not. Also, the people working in the Grey Hound station are extremely slow and the line up for the two attendants is long. Therefore, it is very difficult to check whether the bus has arrived or not. Finally we returned home at 11.

April 15, 2006(Saturday)

I have the Statistic class this morning to make up for the missing class past Thursday. It is actually not that bad to have class during Saturday because I don't need to use my brain much, just need to show up, for this Statistic class. And then I also went out for jogging because of the nice weather. I am much back to shape now. For the rest of the day, I am working on the homework and also PhD project. Carmen will return tomorrow night and I am very much looking for her return.

April 14, 2006(Friday)

Carmen, Carol and her friend went to Chicago today until Sunday. Hope that they will have a safe and happy trip.
I had the PhD seminar in the morning and then talked to Prof about the PhD project. Both are very brain-draining exercises and I need some times to catch up with the work. Therefore, I know what I will do in the next few days.
At night, we have a home gathering for CCF. We ate Passover dinner, with "fu" vegetable, something like apple pie (but does not taste good), biscuit-without-yeast and also lamb feet. This is certainly weird from a Chinese's perspective. Carmen researched and prepared the menu for us. And then we washed each other's feet. Two or three people grouped together according to their gender. I have done this several times, once in Canaan fellowship committee-retreat, once in FCGC, once in Venezuela Baptist Church's committee retreat and this is the fourth time. I am totally comfortable but this is a new idea to most of them. I am glad that they all learn something. However, they don't have much to share so the fellowship ended at 9. And then we went to play card game "Killer" (aka Mafia) for 2.5 hours and returned home at 1am.

April 13, 2006(Thursday)

Today there is only morning Probability and Queuing class. In the afternoon the Statistic class is postponed to this Saturday. Therefore, I can go home a bit earlier after talking to prof about the paper that we need to read. The weather is super nice so I went out for a jog. Normally for this road it takes me 47 mins. However, it takes me 53 mins today. There are three possible reasons: I went the opposite direction (from anti-clockwise to clockwise), I donated blood yesterday, and the weather is a bit hot.
I stayed home for music practice. And then I continue to study. Carmen did not go to work today because she accompanied her sister and her friend to tour Bloomington. They went to College Mall and down town. Other than that, there is nothing that is worth to see. Bloomington = Borington, a place for people to study, not visit. (That's why they are going to Chicago tomorrow)

April 12, 2006(Wednesday)

I brought Carol and her friend to walk around IU for about an hour and visited Carmen. And I also donated blood today and last time was 22 Dec 2005. This is my 7 or 8 times donate blood. I still remember dad used to donate blood too (but I am not sure whether he donates as much as I did). For the rest of the day, I worked on the PhD project again. When yesterday night Carol asked me whether I am busy with school stuff, I gave her a vague answer. I told her that for undergrad I would count how many hours and would feel busy or not. However, for now, life is study and project. And I enjoy what I am doing. Therefore, I would not say whether I am busy with school or not, just like I would not say that I am busy with breathing air or not. I transcended to another stage.

April 11, 2006(Tuesday)

I worked on the Statistic homework for over 5 hours today. There are some very tedious tasks that I am supposed to do. Rather than making all the little change, I tried to write a Mathematica program so that it can be much faster. I am a bit satisfied with what I accomplished.
At night, I went to Indianapolis to pick up Carmen's sister Carol and her friend Kathleen. They went to visit Carmen for two days and then they will go to Chicago together for the weekend. They took a train from Vancouver to here for 44 hours and arrived 1:30 am. This is a very late night train. We returned home at 3am and I read a bit (10 mins) PhD paper in order to get back to sleep.

April 10, 2006(Monday)

I worked on PhD project for about 5 hours today. I think that I am getting sick of these ugly (not difficult, just simply ugly) math. I have a bit urge to puke physically when I started to work on the problem today. I am learning to have patient and endurance to continue to work on this problem. It certainly requires a lot of mental toughness! I hope that I can get done with the result and calculation within two weeks so that I can move on to writing the paper.

April 09, 2006(Sunday)

I am the worship leader today and Carmen is the translation. This is one of the rare occasions that we can both serve together on the stage. Afterward, I had a temp church meeting to finish the Tax ID application. Now, we have finished the major tasks as a temp church committee (constitution and apply for the legal status for the organization so that we can issue tax receipt).
At night, we have the prayer meeting as usual. And then the usual Cantonese gang (Jo, Joe, Joyce, Chi Fu) came to our house for dinner.

April 08, 2006(Saturday)

Originally the CCF male planned to have an outdoor soccer today. However, the weather was pretty bad yesterday so it is moved to indoor basketball game. And then there is some game going on in the basketball ball court. However we get to play indoor soccer. I have not played soccer since about 2001. It is certainly great to kick the balls around.

April 07, 2006(Friday)

I went to school as usual in the morning. The weather is pretty nice. However, as I am doing work out in the afternoon, there is severe hail storm and also tornado warning. Everyone is required to stay in the basement. It is so severe that even the fellowship is canceled at night. But it turned out that the weather is not bad during the night, however, just in case, we canceled the fellowship to prevent any potential damage.
At night, Carmen and I watched the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie at home. It is a pretty long movie but we enjoyed that. The summary is as follow: Pirates of the Caribbean is a sweeping action-adventure story set in an era when villainous pirates scavenged the Caribbean seas. This roller coaster tale teams a young man, Will Turner, with an unlikely ally in rogue pirate Jack Sparrow. Together, they must battle a band of the world's most treacherous pirates, led by the cursed Captain Barbossa, in order to save Elizabeth, the love of Will's life, as well as recover the lost treasure that Jack seeks. Against improbable odds, they race towards a thrilling, climactic confrontation on the mysterious Isla de Muerta. Clashing their swords in fierce mortal combat, Will and Jack attempt to recapture The Black Pearl ship, save the British navy, and relinquish a fortune in forbidden treasure thereby lifting the curse of the Pirates of the Caribbean.

April 06, 2006(Thursday)

I went to class as usual today. And I am tired as usual today. I find that, if I wake up earlier than 9:30, I would easily get tired. And if I go to class, I would be more tired even though I have an hour afternoon nap at school. I prefer to stay at home and work because I am much more energetic at that time.
I also talked to professor about the PhD project. I have spent a lot of time with the clumsy math. The math is not hard but I need a lot of patient to work through it. I am almost done, but not fully yet. I think that I have spent about 200 concentrated hours in the math. The prof also understands that it is very easy to get frustrated. I hope to get over with this and move on to the next project. Carmen was waiting for me and walked home with me afterward.
At night, we went to practice music. I am leading the song this coming Sunday while Carmen is helping Jo to be her worship team tomorrow night.

April 05, 2006(Wednesday)

Last night Joe stayed at our home to study until 2am and then he went home afterward. I slept at that time too. And then I woke up at 6:30 because Carmen woke up and prepare to go to work. I was sitting on my bed reading paper at that time until almost 8am. And then I slept until 11:30. I like to separate my sleeping hours to two chunks.
I also went to jog outside because the weather is so nice today. I also worked on the PhD project. I also exchanged email with classmates about the Statistics and Probability class homework. I corrected a lot of their fatal mistake and they helped me with some mistakes too.

April 04, 2006(Tuesday)

I went to school as usual. Somehow I easily get tired when I go to school. Probably because I go to school to early (at 9:30). I also tried to work on the Probability and Queuing class homework and asked professor for hints.
At night, Chi Fu ate dinner at our house because we are talking for the cooperation game on April 21. I have played this game with the fellowship people and last semester's teaching class. I used up almost all of my fellowship idea within one year in CCF! In addition, Joe will stay over at our house tonight because he said that he does not have the mood to study. Therefore, I invited him to study at the other room of my house and hope that this will provide a change in environment to him. I always easily have no motivation to study but then I find out way to make me feel motivated again. I like to go to gym to do workout or spent time with fellowship friends when I have no motivation to study. I need time to be away from homework so that I would feel the "guilt" of idleness and have energy to study again.

April 03, 2006(Monday)

The weather here fluctuates so easily. Last Thursday and Friday the weather was awesome like early summer. However, yesterday and today there is tornado nearby and the weather is cold and was windy/thunderstorm.
I spent my day working on the PhD project and school work. I enjoy staying home studying rather than stay at school's cubicle. There is much more freedom in this way.
While I have no mood to study last night, I wrote an email to the Cisco study group to compare between a CCIE certificate and degree. However, most of the people did not appreciate the email though. Here is the email:
From time to time I read people trying to compare CCIE with some kind of degree; I thought that this may be cool to share my own experience. In general, I agree with what nrf has mentioned throughout the last many years! But in some points we are different.
Let me share my background first. I got my Bachelor of Applied Science (Engineering degree) back in 1998. And then I work as a Network Engineer until last August. During the last six years, I was working full time as a Network engineer, got my CCXX (I am a CCIE of 7xxx series in RS (second try) and Security (first try)) and picked up Master of Engineering and MBA (from top 25 US b-schools) along the way (M.Eng/MBA+CCIE+full time work). Then I quitted my job last year and return to school full time (yes, some CCIE like me switched career) to study PhD in operation management (from top-25 b-school). In terms of the Cisco cert, it took me 2 years in the industry to get from nothing to CCIE. During the last 1 year where I actively study for CCIE, I spent 3 or 4 hours during weekday and 3 or 4 hours during weekend to study. (I don’t consider myself to be very smart, because I have seen so many smarter people around me!) Therefore, with my background, I hope that it makes my point a bit more persuasive.
I know that you may find some of the comparison is like comparing apple to orange. So please bear with me... (You are free to delete this email if you dislike my comparison.) Because otherwise, every comparison can be apple to orange, even comparing CCIE Security to CCIE Voice.
1. Compare CCIE to PhD or even to Master degree (assume it is not from some no-name school) is ridiculous. According to my own experience, CCIE at most can be as hard as a second year calculus (yes, just a single second year course, not even a bachelor degree). The content of CCIE is not difficult at all, assume that you can master differential equation.
2. The passing rate of CCIE lab exam is much lower than the passing rate of any courses (PhD, Master, and Bachelor). There are two reasons. First, there are lots of low-quality people taking the CCIE lab exam, which drag down the CCIE passing rate. Second, it really takes a longer time to study for the CCIE lab exam than a second year calculus. It is because first year calculus has already prepared me for the second year calculus. Also, it is difficult to have the time, resource to study. And most of all, this is an expensive and stressful exam! All things being equal (no stress, cheap exam), I think that for people who can get an A or B in the second year calculus, I think that he can pass the CCIE lab exam within 3 months after CCNA level if he can study full time, with all equipment, have all the material and have a teacher to ask when he/she had problem.
3. CCIE is not god of networking. CCIE is only god of passing CCIE exam and nothing else. For instances, you don't need to know Poisson process or any queuing algorithm (you don't call yourself "knowing" FIFO/PQ/WFQ if all you know is just some simple calculation or configuration) to pass the CCIE written exam (and for the lab exam, you need to know NOTHING about queuing, other than how to configure it). I never claim myself good at networking at all. When I need to configure a network, all I can say is that, "let's see how far I can go". (I don't mean that I am lack of self-confidence in front of the customer. I just mean that I really know that there is so many things that I have absolutely no idea about.) Therefore, expect some CCIE coming to your company to know how to complete all your requirement is ridiculous. I can fake to know lots in front of others, but in the bottom of my heart, I know that I have many limits.
4. As opposed to what nrf once mentioned, PhD is god of their own field. This is oxymoron if you are PhD but you are not god in your own field. After you have spent five years in something as narrow as, let say, Virtual Link of OSPF (not everything about OSPF, but only the virtual link), then you should be god of Virtual link of OSPF. Therefore, a PhD knows everything about nothing. To continue my analogy, if you ask a PhD about a stub OSPF network (nevertheless other routing protocol, or switching, or security/voice), that PhD may not know. (Contrast to a CCIE, who knows little bit about several Cisco things)
5. The average salary of a CCIE (assume with the same year of experience) is higher than the average salary of any degree (except MBA). A history full professor only makes $40k, and a business professor (on the high end) would make about $100k. But a CCIE would likely make more than $100k (even though I made less than $50k when I was a CCIE)
6. As opposed to what nrf once mentioned, being admitted is NOT the most difficult part of graduating from a top school. It is certainly true that being admitted to a top school is tough. (Being admitted to the bachelor degree of top school is very hard, and being admitted to a top school's PhD program is almost impossible. You think that the average passing rate of CCIE lab is 3 times is low? What about the admission rate of top school is 3-10%, with all the applicant is the best of the best in their own school?) But if you think that you will graduate simply because you are admitted, you are dead wrong. Of course getting through the once-per-year admission cycle is very hard. However, the project and the homework will kill you! Everything else (compare to the intense 8 hours CCIE lab) is walk in park.
7. (Since I am interested to be a professor, let me devote my last point for those who are currently a professor). Continue from #6. If you think that graduating from a top PhD school is tough, then how about able to find a tenure-track job from a top school? And if you think that you are hired by a top school is tough, how about making the tenure? (my point is, difficult never ends...)
My post by no means to devalue CCIE certificate. Having a degree would only get you the ticket for admission. So does having a CCIE certificate. The rest is still up to you. However, it is true that having a CCIE or having a degree have a strong relationship to being able to success in your career. Therefore, this is a good and quick tool for the HR to filter out lots of people. Of course there is outlier, such as Bill Gates. However, do you think that you are the next Bill Gates? You may think so, but the HR or the hiring manager may not share your thought! If they don't hire you, then start another company, get rich, and buy that company (like how AOL purchased Times)
This is my 2 cents. (That's the beauty about academic. In the networking world, there is only one way to do stuff (aka Cisco way) but in academia, you have freedom to express your controversial thought!)

April 02, 2006(Sunday)

After Sunday Service, there is no church committee meeting, first time in the last 8 weeks. It is very light. And then we went to have prayer meeting and then there is a CCF coworker meeting for 1.5 hours. Carmen and I also spent time to read the "Purpose Driven Life" book before going to bed. We have been doing this for the last two weeks and will continue to work on this for the next several weeks until we finish reading this book. This is a great way to strengthen our relationship, put God between us.

April 01, 2006(Saturday)

Today is mom's birthday. Happy Birthday, mom.
I worked on the homework today but I have no real progress yet, especially the Statistic homework. I feel frustrated because I know that I just want to get through the class and then work on the real PhD project that will affect my future much more than a straight-A class grade.
We had coworker meeting and finished the Church constitution revision stage by the coworker. Finally. And then Carmen and I went to Daniel and Yan ching's house with Shangmin and Tanyue. We are three new and young couple, all within the same age and background. However, the biggest difference is that they speak Mandarin while we speak Cantonese/English. But that is not a big enough hurdle that we can't be friend with each other. We still have some great sharing time. In fact, currently, most of the young couples in the fellowship are Mandarin speaking. Therefore, we feel more comfortable to communicate with others using English (for me) or Mandarin (Carmen.