D’var Torah on Chayei Sarah

Delivered on November 6, 2001 by Todd A. Markley

(Read in Classic Batman TV Series Voice)

Welcome back to our show. As you may remember from last year’s Torah reading of Chayei Sarah, when we last left our heroes Abraham was trying to secure a burial site for his wife Sarah, his servant Eliezer was trying to secure a bride for Isaac, and Rebecca was trying to secure her seat belt to avoid falling off her camel at the first sight of her groom-to-be. Will Abraham successfully acquire the Cave of Machpelah? Will Eliezer find a matriarch for our people? Will Rivkah be the second person to leave this family for monotheism? All this and more in this year’s episode of Chayei Sarah!

As it turns out, this week’s portion contains a number of “firsts” in the Torah: with the passing of Sarah we find the first death of one of our matriarchs or patriarchs. This portion also depicts our first land acquisition in Canaan and the first transfer of leadership within the Jewish people, from Abraham to Isaac and from Sarah to Rivkah. Interestingly, there is yet another often overlooked “first” in this portion. It is here that we see the initial use of the word chesed in the Tanakh. This fact may be of particular interest as this parasha provides several paradigms for performing gemilut chassadim, acts of loving-kindness.

For example, at the portion’s outset, Abraham is in need of a burial plot for Sarah. He is offered the Cave of Machpelah and its surrounding field for free, but Abraham insists on paying Ephron full price for it. This transaction is especially peculiar since God has already promised the entire land of Canaan to Abraham and his descendants. Why would Abraham go to such lengths, and at such costs, to acquire land that would soon be his anyway? It must be assumed that Abraham believed God’s promise as he proved his faith beyond a shadow of a doubt in last week’s exciting episode. It could be said that Abraham is going above and beyond the call of duty to ensure that his surrounding neighbors feel properly compensated for their land. Perhaps, Ephron and the Hittites might have offered the land for free out of a sense of pity towards Abraham in his time of mourning, and he does not want to take advantage of their kind suggestion. It might appear that Abraham is most concerned with maintaining the dignity of his counterparts, even more so than he is concerned with completing his own task at hand. What a wonderful example of chesed. Or is it? I’ll return to this shortly.

Soon after this episode, Abraham sends his servant, presumably Eliezer to find a suitable bride for Isaac. Eliezer reaches Nachor’s city, and brings the camels to a well outside the city before heading in to look for a bride. As we know, Eliezer discovers Rivkah, gives her gifts, and the two return to her father’s house. It just so happens that Rivkah’s father is Bethuel, a nephew of Abraham, and her brother is Lavan, future father-in-law to Jacob. It is with these two men that Eliezer must negotiate the taking of Rivkah for marriage. What luck!

Upon arriving at the family’s house Eliezer recounts the entire story of his mission, blow-by-blow, from beginning to end…a narrative which took place over TWENTY-SIX verses of text originally, and took ANOTHER 16 VERSES to retell. Now, as we students of Torah know, our scripture is most sparing with its words. So, why such detail? The text must consider Eliezer’s conversation with Bethuel and Lavan to be of particular importance.

In addition to the sheer length of the passage, Nehama Leibowitz asserts that the true significance of this text is found in the way that Eliezer finesses the story of his journey for Rivkah’s family. Professor Leibowitz outlines 17 differences between the original narration and Eliezer’s retelling of it to Bethuel and Lavan. I’ll try to sum up these differences with just a few examples.

While the original narration states simply that “the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things,” Eliezer seems to bolster Abraham’s résumé a little when he tells Bethuel, “the Lord hath blessed [Abraham] greatly; and he has become great; and God hath given him flocks, and herds, and silver, and gold, and menservants, and maidservants, and camels, and asses.” Eliezer performs an act of chesed by speaking well of Abraham to others. He goes on to say that Abraham forced him to swear an oath before leaving, but conspicuously omits the portion of the vow that referred to Adonai as “the God of heaven and the God of the earth.” Might Eliezer be trying to maintain shalom bayit within Abraham’s family by downplaying Abraham’s monotheistic tendencies…his reason for having left the family in the first place? Again, a noble act of chesed. Finally, Eliezer tells Bethuel and Lavan that Abraham specifically requested that Isaac’s bride be chosen from his own family, while, in fact, Abraham simply requested that a woman be found in his homeland, but did not specify that she be from his family’s house. Again, it would seem that Eliezer is going above and beyond the call of duty to broker good will between Abraham and his family. He clearly displays chesed in its purest form. Or does he? Again, I’ll get back to that in a minute.

Perhaps the most compelling example of chessed, however, is Rivkah’s reaction to Eliezer, this stranger in her midst at the well. When Abraham’s servant approaches and asks for a sip of water from her pitcher, she quickly lowers it from her shoulder and lets him drink. Without Eliezer saying another word, she also offers to draw water for his camels, and the text specifically states that the camels drink until they have their fill. We know that Eliezer brought 10 camels with him. To provide water for all of them after a lengthy trip, using the vessel she had available, could have required literally dozens of trips back and forth to the well. This is an act of tremendous compassion and thoughtfulness. Rivkah’s interactions with Eliezer might be described as true kindness.

The Hebrew term for true kindness, chesed shel emet, is a phrase most often used in relation to the rituals of burial. For example, participating in the Jewish custom of helping to place dirt in the grave is an act of true kindness as there is absolutely no possibility that this person is going to repay you for your act. Although Abraham’s and Eliezer’s acts of benevolence, which I discussed earlier, are certainly wonderful examples of chesed, their motivation for performing these acts might be called into question. Perhaps Abraham paid full price for the cave of Machpelah, not because he wanted to maintain the dignity of his neighbors, but rather because he wanted to ensure that his family’s burial plot was separate from the Canaanites. In his commentary on Leviticus, Rashi asserts that “the Canaanites were more corrupt than any other nation.” It is conceivable that Abraham was more concerned with distancing himself and his family from the Canaanites than he was with maintaining their dignity. Similarly, it could be argued that Eliezer was going above and beyond the call of duty in negotiating with Rivkah’s family because he was trying to do well by his employer, Abraham, not because he was trying to make everyone feel good about the transaction. Perhaps he was up for a big High Holy Day bonus.

Rivkah’s behavior towards Eliezer, however, seems to have no possible ulterior motivation. This man is a total stranger to her, and yet she goes WAY out of her way to provide for him, to show mercy towards him, and to ensure that he is well cared for. THIS is true kindness. In your own studies, you may have noticed that gemilut chasadim is frequently translated as acts of “loving-kindness.” What the heck is “loving-kindness?” This rather strange phrase might imply that you are supposed to love the one to whom you are offering kindness. Of course, this need not be the case. Rather, you are supposed to LOVE THE KINDNESS ITSELF.

The prophet Micah sums it up for us: “It has been told to you, O man, what is good and what God requires of you: Only to act justly and to love chesed…” Why doesn’t Micah simply say “act with justice and with chesed?” Because we all perform acts of kindness, but sometimes we may do so under pressure. When someone is in need, and we are confronted by this person time and again, it becomes difficult for us to turn our back on him or her. Based on Micah’s teaching, however, we should not be satisfied with our occasional act of kindness, possibly carried out under duress. Rather, we should strive to possess a LOVE for this mitzvah. When a person feels this love for chesed, he or she will stimulate others to engage in it as well. In our daily prayers, each morning, we say ki ve’or panecha natata lanu Adonai Eloheinu, Torat chayim, v’ahavat chesed, “For with the light of your expression, You have given us, Adonai, our God, a living Torah and the love of chesed.” Birkat Sim Shalom seems to indicate that God has already provided us with this love of kindness, so what gets in our way of acting on it sometimes?

Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan, an early 20^th Century scholar, known to many as the Chofetz Chaim, outlines several stumbling blocks which prevent us from performing gemilut chassadim:

1) FEAR – Others might find out that you have given and then try to take advantage of your generosity. However, are we to be excused from this positive mitzvah simply because we fear having to repeat it for others? After all, isn’t the reward for performing a mitzvah the opportunity to perform another?

2) IGNORANCE – The Chofetz Chayim suggests that some people are just not aware of the sheer magnitude of this mitzvah. Of course, they need only recall the famous teaching: the world rests on three things alone, and GEMILLUT CHASSADIM IS ONE OF THEM. Some will go to all lengths to perform mitzvot perfectly, down to the last detail, whether it be buying a lulav and etrog, or waiting for the precise second at which one may recite the Havdallah blessings…and I include myself in this orientation to detail at times. And yet, some of these same people will look begrudgingly at an opportunity to perform gemilut chassadim. We must not let the import of this mitzvah escape us.

3) ILLUSION THAT ONE IS EXEMPT – Sometimes we ask ourselves, “Am I the only one who could help this person? Let him go to someone else.” Should we not also ask ourselves, “Who knows if others will be willing to help?”

4) INDOLENCE (HABITUAL LAZINESS) – How many people do we know who go to extraordinary, sometimes ridiculous, ends to achieve in their workplace? If only we all put the same effort into acts of loving-kindness.

And how does the Chofetz Chayim define what it means to act out of love? “Acting out of love is like acting on behalf of your child. You do not for your own benefit, but purely for theirs. We range far beyond our duty when we act out of love. A [parent] seeks to bring benefit to his or her [child] even when the latter hasn’t asked for it. A love of chesed means searching out ways to act generously and with kindness.”

I realize that by delivering these words, I run the risk of having my own actions put under a microscope within our community. “Did you hear what Markley said about such-and-such? And after that d’var Torah he gave on kindness…what a hypocrite!” B’seder. I need to examine my behavior in these realms every single day. Additionally, I believe that everyone in this room takes gemilut chassadim seriously. The professions we’ve chosen demand it to a great degree. And yet, can we not each afford to expand our love of chesed as we develop our passion for Torah and for Avodah?

(Again, Read in Classic Batman TV Series Voice)

And with this, we conclude this year’s episode of Chayei Sarah. Will Isaac bounce back from that brush with sacrifice? Will Rivkah break all the rules of child favoritism? Will Eliezer ever be mentioned in the Torah again? For the answers to these questions and more, stay tuned for our upcoming episodes…same Mincha time, same Mincha station.

Perhaps more importantly however, will we each learn from Rivkah’s example and expand our love for chesed in its truest forms? To this question, only you hold the answer. May we be blessed with this love and the strength to act upon it. Ken Yehi Ratzon.