X-MEN: Nirvana

©2000 Erin Allen

Genre: Romance/Adventure

Sex Content: PG-17

Violence Content: PG-17

Language Content: a few swear words...nothing major!

Characters: original female, X-MEN characters

Chapter 1

One of the benefits of being a psychic, was that Professor Charles Xavier already knew that someone was asking to see him, when his secretary keyed in on the intercom.

“Show her in, thank you,” replied the Professor. I walked in, leaving my duffel bag at the entrance.

“Please, have a seat.” he gestured to the chair in front of his desk. I sat down, but as I suspected, he already knew why I had come. “How was it that you found out about Logan?.....” he searched for my name.

“My name is hEire Ammat...a mix of Irish and Egyptian of all things....I heard of a mutant called Wolverine in a bar called the Lion’s Den in Northern Alberta...I was passing through on my way down from Alaska, and only a few days previously, there’d been some sort of confrontation with this guy - he’d been fighting in their cage matches for some quick cash...but after hours he scared the hell out of some loser, and they said he’d nearly taken their heads off with these metal claws that came out of his hands.” I held up my right hand before the Professor, I extended my own set of five 6” metal claws from the ends of my finger nails.”My skeleton is also fused with the metal. I’m hoping this Wolverine and I will be able to give each other a few answers.”

“Your memories are not intact either?” he inquired. I cocked my head, it seemed perhaps this other mutant Wolverine and I had much in common.

“Hmmm...no not really...I remember bits and pieces of my childhood, and a few flashes of having this done to me...but that’s about it.....ever since this was done...I’ve had to start over from scratch. But I am however, in possession of a recording of the entire procedure performed on me. I’ve watched it many times - trying to remember even a moment of it, but it doesn’t even seem like me on the screen anymore. Also, I cannot make out any details that would aid me in finding my past.”

“How is it that you have this evidence?” inquired Professor Xavier.

“Until nearly a year ago, I was a member of an unofficial branch of the Canadian Government, called the Indemnium Group...I can give you further details if you like - but essentially what occurred is, another, and anonymous member of the group allowed this to come into my possession. I don’t know anything more than that. I left the Group - for personal and professional reasons, and researched my way from Alberta to you. There’s quite a intricate Mutant Underground, information is easy to acquire.” Xavier studied me for a moment, even peering into my mind a little, searching I suppose for confirmation of my honesty.

“The man you seek is also called Logan, almost 15 years ago this torturous experiment was performed on him - he has no memory of his life before. He came to this school several weeks ago with another young mutant, a girl under his protection named Rogue. He helped us out in a situation and is now back up North. I was able to provide him with some information - an abandoned military complex at Alkali Lake.” I furrowed my brow.

“I know it...I’m afraid that there’s nothing there for him. I took me a little over three weeks to search every level. There’s abandoned equipment and files, but nothing really, no leads. There’s dozens more in the Northwest Territories, same deal. Do you think he will come back here?”

“I do not know, but perhaps I can contact him. As I’m sure you’ve guessed, my psychic abilities are formidable, I can attempt to reach him. In the meantime, I invite you to stay on with us, perhaps you’d be so kind as to allow our Dr. Jean Grey to examine you, gather more information as we did with Logan. I’m sure you’d also like to meet Rogue, she knows Logan better than any of us.”

“Absolutely, I thank you...but I suspect you’re used to strange visitors?”

“Every day, Ms. Ammat.” We proceeded down the hallway of the Westchester manor, occasionally a young student walked by and gave me the once over. A few of the boys stared just a little longer - I was after all wearing leather pants and a tight t-shirt.

I met Jean Grey and her fiancee Scott Summers - they were the leaders, next to the Professor, of this eclectic group of young mutants. I was privy to the labs below the house - remarkable facilities, much like the Indemnium complex.

Jean and I were alone in the lab, we decided to do the examination first off. I changed into my workout clothes and lay down on the table.

“Are these the same tests that were performed on Logan?” I inquired.

“Yes...I’m very fascinated to see the similarities between you two.” she responded.

“If it’s not too personal, what’s he like?” I think I may have touched a nerve in her, as though Logan had left a serious impression on her. But she was very in control of her emotions and answered me.

“I’d say he’s very much a loner, very introspective for the most part. I don’t think he makes friends easily. But on the other hand he’s genuine and kind - he doesn’t let people get close, but at the same time I’d say he was very lonely.”

“How did you feel about him?” “He’s very charming, sometimes a little intimidating, but I’m engaged to Scott...so I would never let our friendship go beyond...” her voice trailed off.

“I know the type.” I replied, it eased her attitude. Dr. Grey drew blood and took a strand of hair for DNA analysis. She performed a catscan and took X-rays of my entire body. Friends within Indemnium had done this to me aswell, I secretly hoped that they were indeed my friends, and that this information would never be used against me. My suspicions were confirmed by the results, the pattern of the adamantium metal fused to my skeleton was the exactly the same as Logan’s. The additions and variables in my design suggested that I was towards the end of a list of prototypes.

As the day progressed, I able settle into my room, which I had been told was Logan’s a few weeks earlier. I crashed onto the bed and fell asleep quickly. I had been traveling all day and wanted nothing more than a good night’s sleep - meeting the others would have to wait until tomorrow.

Chapter 2

Professor Xavier wheeled his chair into position before Cerebro - the phenomenal mutant brain wave enhancer. He calmed himself and placed the helmet over his head. Almost immediately he felt his brain waves rise and his synapses fire at an instantaneous speed. The wide world of mutant minds lay open before him and methodically Xavier moved through each in search of one in particular. Logan was no longer at Alkali Lake, he was infact, in a shabby, run down motel in Lethbridge, Alberta. He was somewhere between sleep and being passed out, 12 beers will do that to a guy. The emptiness inside him made even Xavier pity him. As hEire had foretold, he found nothing at the military complex. His past had never seemed more unreachable.

“Logan? Can you hear me? It’s Charles, Charles Xavier.” Logan stirred out of his haze with stifled grunt against his pillow. He lay in shirtless atop the covers, but still in his jeans and boots. “Logan. We need you to come back to the school. It is very important, do you understand?”

“Huh? Yeah...I’m up, I’m up.” The message barely came through and then the Professor’s voice was gone. Logan sat on the edge of his bed and rubbed his bloodshot eyes. His mouth tasted like the liner carpet of a Mack truck he looked like crap. It was easy not to care about yourself when no one else did. Or so he’d thought, the message from the Professor had reminded him that there was actually people out there that had him in their good books - people like Rogue and Jean, Storm and the Professor, maybe even Cyclops. The kid would at least appreciate that his bike was still in one piece.

Logan’s compulsion to return to Westchester was strong suddenly, the Professor was very influential indeed. Logan got off the bed and struggled to get his boots off. He let his jeans drop to the floor, the Indian head buckle clanging loudly. He climbed into the luke warm shower water and scrubbed his greasy body and hair clean. He got out of the cramped shower and wrapped a towel tightly around his muscular waist. He’d let his beard grow and he looked more dangerous than what he liked. He shaved away everything except his signature sideburns. He actually looked something close to presentable. He dressed in his jeans, he couldn’t remember the last time they were washed, and a red checked flannel shirt over a gray t-shirt. It was still at least -30ºC outside, so Logan piled on the layers with his denim jacket and leather bomber. He stuffed what little he had back in the X backpack. He walked out passed the night clerk and tossed him a twenty.

The night was sharp and unforgiving, but clear and all the stars in the sky were out and shining bright. Logan cracked a little smile above - at least things like that never changed. He climbed on to Cyclops’ Titan motorcycle and revved up the engine, the kid kept the carburetor so tight that it barely made any decent noise. Logan put on a pair of leather gloves and sped off eastwards into the night.

Chapter 3

I awoke around 7am the next day, I hadn’t even changed positions during the night. I stood up and stretched out all my kinks and aches, I showered and dressed for what was likely to be a most interesting day. I decided to wear something a little less provocative, unblemished dark blue jeans and a tight black long sleeved shirt. I left my long curly blond hair loose and cascading down my back. I did have an image to uphold after all, but I wasn’t about to wear a suit either.

I helped myself to breakfast in the common kitchen, some of the younger students showed me around and were very inquisitive about my mutation. They’d barely got a look at ‘Wolverine’ as they called him. Two girls had developed a serious crush on the man and blushed at the mere mention of him.

Charles invited me into his office to meet the girl called Rogue. Rogue was very pretty indeed, her hair certainly was unique - Scott Summer had shared with me the events of a month ago. I extended my hand to the girl, I was aware that I could shake her hand when she had her glove on. I got the distinct impression that Rogue was apprehensive about me. She wasn’t a naturally aloof person, but my interest in her best friend must have her on edge.

She had perfect southern manners nonetheless and agreed to walk with me and answer questions about Logan. We wandered around the perimeter of the school. Rogue told me how they’d met, the incident at the Lion’s Den as it actually happened and not as it was told to me.

“Regular macho hero type then is he?” I asked in an amused tone.

“Only on the outside, he’s a really good guy on the inside. He really genuinely cares about people. He saved my life in more ways than one. The best friend I’ve ever had.” Rogue looked me square in the eye, almost as though she were searching for affirmation that I wasn’t a threat of some kind.

“I can see he means a great deal to you. I haven’t met many people in the past few years that are actually worth a second thought, but the way every talks about Logan, I think no matter what he’s a guy worth knowing. You see Rogue, there’s no doubt in my mind that the same people who experimented on Logan did so on me also. The procedure is so horrific that the mind can’t handle it and we lose touch with reality, the amnesia sets in to relieve our minds of pain, it’s a form of self preservation. But the real us remains - Logan by all accounts is a good person, and no matter what he does or doesn’t remember about his past - his essence is still there. It’s incredible really.”

“Do you really think you can help him? He gave me his dog tags, do you think they’d lead to anything?” She held them up for me to see from around her neck.

“We can search military records for the serial number. I may have access to more resources than Logan...you see I have friends in shall we say? top secret places.” Rogue cracked a little smile.

“I really miss him, yah know? I’m fitting in here, but Logan’s the one person I know I can rely on no matter what, you know what I mean?”

“I do...I don’t have anyone like that, so I certainly know what you mean.”

“I sure hope Logan...and you...get some answers. I miss my family, but I know who they are at least.” “Thank you Rogue. You don’t need to worry, with you lookin’ out for him, I’d say Logan will be just fine.”

Chapter 4

The day wore on, I spent most of the time getting to know anyone who was interested - which were many, the new mutant is always the star attraction. Jean and the Professor knew of my adamantium additions that were above and beyond Logan’s, but I kept them to myself for the time being. The kids were fascinated more by my Kung-Fu showmanship than my claws. Charles Xavier was impressed with instant rapore I had with his students. We talked music, movies and anything else we had in common.

Xavier expected Logan to arrive today or tomorrow. Scott, as sweet as guy as he was, was definitely not looking forward to Logan’s return. I gathered that Logan had caused issues between him and Jean - that and the ‘punk’ as Scott referred to him, had swiped his prized Titan motorcycle. I thought maybe we all might have to run interference when Logan returned.

I was privileged to eat dinner with the XMen heads; Xavier, Ororo, Jean and Scott. Rogue also joined us as she had a vested interest in Logan, and Charles would not have her be excluded. The topic of conversation was, as suspected, me.

Jean began by relating the test results from my examination yesterday.

“Your DNA is very similar to Logan’s in terms of your regenerative mutation. The gene is on the X chromosome - meaning that it was your mothers that put the mutation into your genetic code. You and Logan aren’t related in any way, but it’s very interesting to find two mutants with such a similar trait. There’s so many variables to take into account...”

“Maybe it’s something in Alberta water?” I interjected with a smile. The table laughed, Jean smiled to and continued.

“As for the adamantium...the give away is the pattern in which the metal was infused to your skulls - the interlocking sheets are identical in form and order - there’s no doubt in my mind that the same people were behind both experiments.”

“Except mine was done 5 years ago.....Logan was 15...that means that these people are still in business...looking for mutants with our regenerative skills.”

“I’d say so, yes.” commented Xavier,”But the questions are immense - who and more importantly why?”

“There’s too many possibilities,” interjected Scott,”A military; other mutants; private organizations...”

“Somehow Logan and I got away....Jean, there’s no sort of tracking devices in us are there?” I asked.

“No, just the adamantium as far as I can tell. You and Logan can’t have volunteered for this, the process would have been too gruesome...”

“It was....as I told the Professor, I have the entire thing on CD-Rom.....I wanted to wait until all were present...it’s very hard to watch unless you have strong stomach. You see...I was previously part of an unofficial branch of the Canadian government. The Indemnium Group specialized in removing terrorists from action....I was a member of an assassination squad. I never pulled the trigger....but I made sure the person who did got in and out alive. But that’s not the point. I can never be sure who my friends are in this world. But someone within the group made sure I received this footage. Not long after I left Indemnium...I organized my own ‘death’ and I presume they believe I am dead. All I have is this footage...but there isn’t a single thing on it that will offer up any leads.....I’ve hit the same stone wall over and over again.”

My little revelation had brought a somber shadow over the table. The tension needed to be broken somehow.

“So, Scott....what kind of motorcycle did you drive?” I smiled at him across the table. He couldn’t help but be amused. From then on the tone was much lighter, thank heavens. A little reprieve before the serious times I knew were coming.

Chapter 5

I stood in my window after my shower, watching the sunrise. The faint hum of a motorcycle coming up the driveway signaled that the long expected Logan had arrived. He parked the bike a far away, back in the garage he swiped it from. With a backpack slung over one shoulder he swaggered up the walkway. I stared intently at this broad figure. He walked like he owned the place; with a brooding intensity and a wry confidence. There are some things about Canadian men that are just inherent. There’s something in about them that lets you know that they can stand on their own.

My first impression was that he was scruffy and overflowing with machismo, able to take a high-stick in the face and keep on goin’ into triple OT, chug a pitcher of beer and make a girl scream like a wild animal all in the same night.

I casually let my towel fall, and at the same time his gaze looked upward and our eyes met. He slowed down to stare for a moment, he gave me a quick wink and I smiled back down at him. He walked up to the house and was let inside. I dressed in my black leather pants and a charcoal tank top. I left my hair loose and applied enough make-up to make me look alluring, but chose not to go the underground goth look I sometimes performed on stage in. I slipped on my black engineer boots and made my way down stairs. I came upon the reunion scene of Rogue giving Logan a big bear hug. He was overjoyed to see her.

“Hey, darlin’” he said. He looked up to the top of the stairs to see me descending. Jean Grey came into the foyer and gave Logan a less enthusiastic hug.

“Logan, this is hEire Ammat, the one the Professor called you back to meet.” said Jean as she introduced us. I extended my hand to Logan.

“I’m very glad to meet you,” I offered. He went to take my hand and suddenly is was as if some unnatural force pulled out palms together. We were both shocked, and for a moment we couldn’t get our hands apart.

“Weird,” I uttered. “It’s almost like m....” he began.

“Magnetism......how strange,” Jean completed his sentence. After a few moments the energy between us dissipated and we let go of each other’s hands. I smiled sheepishly at Logan.

“Sorry about....I had no idea as was so attractive.” I jested.

“No problem.” he responded with a smirk.

“Logan, did you want breakfast? The Professor won’t be ready until later.” offered Jean. “Sure...sounds good...I haven’t eaten anything good in a long time.” We turned to go and Logan gestured to let me pass before him.

“After you.”

“Thanks,” I said as I made my way past him. I let my breast casually brush against his arm. He knew I was flirting, but I didn’t mind. He smelled intoxicating...a strange mix of the road, the wilderness and his own natural scent,”Let me make you something...I’m a great cook....ever had Huevos Rancheros?”

“Can’t say that I have.”

Chapter 6

A couple of hours later we were all gathered in the lower levels of the school in a pseudo conference room - minus Rogue. Jean took center stage;

“Logan it seems we may have a few more answers for you. hEire came to us two days ago on your trail. She was told of the disturbance you caused in the bar in Alberta when she passed through there a few weeks ago. It seems that hEire possesses the same mutation as you, the ability to heal yourself.” Logan turned and gave me the once over, still not quite understanding. Jean continued,”Moreover....her skeleton has also been fused with the adamantium.” With that Logan jerked his head back round to stare intensely at me, I felt self-conscious under his piercing gaze.

“Logan, there’s no doubt this procedure was done by the same people.” Logan clenched his jaw, more stunned than he thought he’d ever allow himself to appear.

“What about the other...”he started to ask.

“The claws?” I asked.

“Yeah.” I held my hands up in front and extended the 6” metal claws from my finder tips. Logan’s eyes widened. I retracted the claws. And stood up to join Jean at the head of the table. She moved to the side and took her seat next to Scott.

“There’s more, as Jean knows, but you’ll understand that it takes a lot more to use them than just extending the adamantium from our hands.”

“What do you mean?” asked Logan, his voice was steady, but clearly agitated.

“You’ll, excuse me, but I lose more shirts this way...” I turned around and removed my tank top and bra and I gathered my hair around to the left of my neck. I inhaled deeply for the pain that was about to come. From between my shoulder blades two protrusions started to make their way out from under the skin. Soon they broke the skin and metal shafts measuring 3 feet came fully out of my back. They then extended themselves another 3 feet into the metal skeletal framework that formed my wings. Next, the skin on my back seemed to extend until it was translucent and taut and joined with the wings. My wings then began to glow a soft luminescence. I turned to face the group, with my hands in front of me and my 12ft wingspan out behind me. Logan was on his feet and totally awestruck.

“Remarkable.” uttered the Professor. Jean approached me, ever the scientist.

“May I?” she asked. I nodded and Jean glided her hand over the material that made up my wings.”It’s not skin?”

“A plastic called Holothene. Very advanced - it can with stand just about any extreme, and like the rest of me, fuses itself back together if damaged. There is one clue it gives us - Holothene is an very new technology - I’ve never seen it anywhere else. A German scientist created it only a few years ago, he was killed before he could complete his research.....but somehow the technology ended up in the wrong hands. They managed to find a use for it.” Logan slumped back into his chair, absolutely dismayed. I retracted my wings, and the flesh healed instantly. I put my clothes back on and sat next to Logan. After my display, the climax of this meeting would leave us all in a seriously solemn mood.

“Jean...you can play this now.” I handed her the CD-ROM. I placed my hand on Logan’s and whispered in his ear.

“This may be very hard for you to see...I’m sorry.” He looked at me with a blank expression. This man had no pretense, but I wondered if he could hold in his emotions in the face of what he was about to witness.

I addressed the group before starting the CD.

“I have watched this footage so many times before that I hope I’m numb to it. You have to understand that I do not remember this event, I still find it hard to reason that it really is me you are about to see, but there is no question and no doubt. Once you’ve seen enough, turn it off - it’s not pretty.”

The scene began with a video camera circling around a plexi-glass tank. The figure submersed in that tank was me. I was essentially nude, covered in only certain areas. A breathing apparatus covered my nose and throat, and I was attached to a respirator - not even allowed to breath on my own. My eyes were wide and pained, and tried as I might, thrashed about as I did, I could not escape. Several IV lines extended from my veins and reference points and lines had been drawn over my entire body. Another figure entered the scene, dressed from head to toe in a biochemical suit. He injected a bluish liquid into one of the IVs and my eyes glazed over, I was under.

A medical team, their identities and even genders were completely obscured. The process began quite simply really. Members of the team took up scalpels and seamlessly began to cut away portions of flesh from my feet, peeling the matter away like it was the skin of a fruit. Infinite numbers of clamps and wires held the skin and underlining tissue away from my exposed bones. Interconnected nerves and veins were severed, leaving the bones cleanly exposed and ready. Another sect of the team closed in and brought with them an ambiguous instrument. Molten adamantium was applied to my bones in a fine, but consistent mist. The metal solidified and seemed to work it’s way in towards the marrow. After a few moments, the clamps released my tissue, and like a gel coming back together, my flesh reintegrated itself, leaving my feet just as they had been before. When it came time to work on the tibia and femur the same process was applied. However, already solidified, adamantium plates were brought in to be applied over the metal that had been sprayed on. They fused without any effort whatsoever. In addition, the plates were exactly made to fit my bone structure. This indicated that molds had been previously made of this portion of my skeleton - meaning that this was not the first time I had been experimented on.

I warned the group that the next events were deeply disturbing and perhaps we ought to stop the CD. Logan shook his head, indicating that he needed to see this to the end. By the time the process had been completed, very delicately on my spine, my sedation had begun to wear off. I snapped to alertness and shook in total agony. Some one went to give me another dose of anesthetic, they obviously hadn’t expected the sedation to wear off so quickly. However, the team leader stopped him. The only remaining portion of my body that had to be operated on was my skull. An audible cry was heard from the core of my throat. I looked to see Logan’s jaw clenching and his hands harden into fists. I reached out in the dark, and gingerly placed my hand over his fist, the tips of his claws threatening to come out. He calmed slightly, trying to separate what he was seeing from his own memories.

An agonizing slice was made across my forehead, deep and clean. Blood stained the chemical bath I was in, but soon dissipated, as was the nature of the solution. My hair, which was much shorter at the time, and my entire scalp was peeled back, the sight was truly horrible. My eyes bulged and red veins spread across them like a wild fire. But the pain did not exsist for long, I lost consciousness. Once the remainder of my face was completed I was turned over. Incisions were made again, this time my entire back was opened up. The adamantium that was already grafted to my skeleton shone in the dim lights of the room. The implants that were to become my wings were brought in. The complicated mechanics of the wings took several hours to complete. Jean skipped ahead to the installation of the holothene. Visors were now worn by the doctors. The malleable sheets of the luminescent plastic were brought in. Amazingly enough, the plastic was attracted to the adamantium - it fused to the frameworks of the metal instantly. To finish off, they repositioned the muscles and veins to work through the base of the wings. I was their machine now. They’d made me into something unnatural. The latest in a new line of enhanced mutant.

The lights came on after the footage had ended. There was an eery, stillborn silence in the room.

“The instruments were older when it was done to me. And the technique was allot more crude. I was never sedated.” explained Logan.

“Whoever they are, they’ve been doing this for many years, to probably many more mutants. I’m the advanced model, I suppose.” I said. I noticed my hand was still on Logan’s, I inconspicuously slid it away. There was something tangible between us, almost like I could feel his spirit. Not in the same way that Professor X or Dr. Grey could, this was something more natural, something that was between only us.

“This plot against individuals with your mutation is more insidious that I ever could have presumed. Unfortunately, both your minds are closed to me after a certain point. There are many forces at work here. And it disturbs me to think that this organization is at work still.” said Xavier.

“Where do we go from here?” asked Scott.

“There is no present threat from the Brotherhood... therefore, I’d like us to concentrate on helping Logan and hEire...as well as stopping these butchers from experimenting on any more innocent mutants.”

“hEire, Logan, if you could compile as much information as you can recall, I’ll search international data bases...I promise I’ll check every one on the planet.” offered Scott.

“Thank you.” I replied, Logan nodded his head to Scott in thanks.

Chapter 7

Hours later I found myself heading down to the kitchen. I wasn’t particularly hungry, just restless. I casually made my way to the gigantic metal fridge - anything was fair game in this one, good thing, I was starting to get hungry! The light of the fridge filled the dark room, I scoured the contents, hoping for something to appeal to me.

“There’s something resembling lasagna off to the left there...it’s pretty good.” I nearly jumped out of skin.

“Bloody hell!” I theatrically grasped at my heart.

“Sorry.” it was Logan, sitting concealed in the shadows at the island off to one side. I flipped a light over a counter on.

“I nearly jumped into next Sunday!”

“I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I don’t have those heightened senses you’ve got.” I took a piece of the presumed lasagna and put it on a plate.

“Mind if I have a seat?” Logan obligingly pulled out a chair for me.”Thanks....so, why are you eating alone in the dark?”

“Just needed a quiet place to think...and I was hungry.”

“I understand.”

“That was a lot to take in, you know.”

“I know. But I like to think of it this way, maybe you can too, at least you aren’t alone.” Logan’s face was sullen, he nodded his head and played with his food.

“Beer run?” I suggested. Logan’s face brightened...it was hilarious, like a kid that had just been offered ice cream.

“You’re on.” he replied. I rushed upstairs to grab my jean jacket and met Logan in the foyer.

“What’s our ride?” I asked as I jumped the final 6 steps, landing easily on my feet, of course.

“I think the kid’ll blast us with those laser eyes of his if I steal his bike one more time.”

“Let’s start walking...we can call a cab from up the road, there’s a gas station...keep eyes off the school.”

A few miles up the road I called a taxi service for a car to pick us up. We’d walked 8 miles by the time the glare of headlights came around the corner of the winding road, it almost ran us over. We climbed into the back seat, it smelled of a vague mixture of cigarettes, urine and disinfectant spray, just lovely. The cabby was fat, greasy and had the charming addition of b/o to his scent. Logan’s nostril’s twitched and he immediately asked the driver for the lighter - he lit the stub of a cigar his to mask over the stench of the car.

“Hey, you know where there’s a pub we can keep a low profile in?”

“You could try the Loco on the outskirts of Cappaqua, it’s a biker bar, not the sorta place you’d wanna take a lady though.”

“The lady would stand a better chance than you, bub.”

“Loco it is then.” replied the cabby, feeling more than intimidated by my companion. Logan leaned back and put his arms around behind my shoulder across the back of the seat. I leaned over to catch his ear.

“I don’t envy your heightened sense of smell right now.”

“No kiddin’...trust me, you don’t wanna know what else has been on this seat.”

“You’d think out in the boonies the cabs would be cleaner than in the city.”

“No such luck darlin’.” The Loco was about what we expected. A bar established enough where they don’t water down the liquor, but exclusive enough to attract only one kind of customer. I tossed the driver $15 and inhaled the crisp night air, it was a godsend after the ride we’d just been on.

“I think I’d rather walk next time.”

“You got that right.” Logan replied. A line of Harley Davisons wound their way around the building like shiny dominos, a few pick-ups and transport trucks were also scattered on the dirt parking lot. Big, ugly, leather clad thugs kept the flow in and out of the bar constant. We made our way in, heads turned to look at the strangers that were in their midst. Appropriately, the Door’s “Roadhouse Blues” was blaring through speakers that had probably been blown out the day they were bought. I also got the expected amount of whistles and libacious comments. In return Logan rebutted them with a few menacing stares. We sat ourselves in the corner by the cigarette machine. Logan caught the eye of the haggard and trashy looking waitress and motioned to bring us two beers. By the third pint we were talking like old army buddies, telling tales of our oddly parallel lives.

Logan and I were at ease with each other, and in our element in this dive, but eventually decided to call it a night. As we got up and paid the waitress I noticed someone watching us from the corner of the room.

“Logan...stay sharp.” I muttered as I darted my way across the room. Logan hung back and scoured the room. His senses all came alive and he started to move shapelessly through the crowd, sizing up and analyzing every one.

By the time I got to where I saw who I thought I’d seen, there was nothing. I gave up and made my way back to Logan. I suddenly found myself surrounded by a group of seven large men, all wearing leather jacket’s sporting a “Reapers” logo and looking like they’d crawled out of the ninth layer of hell.

“Where you goin’ sweetheart?” growled the ugly one.

“No where with you...” I snarled back. He grabbed my wrist and twisted it hard.

“You’re gonna wanna let go of her, bub.” spoke Logan as he came up behind the men. Two of the guys moved from encircling me to rest on either side of Logan. Logan smiled and gave them the once over, then looked back and me and gave me a little wink.

“Cause if you don’t she’s gonna beat the living daylights out of yah.”

“Take this loser outside.” ordered the Neanderthal holding my wrist.

“Oooooooo, so not a good idea,” I sarcastically retorted. Logan’s eyes were dancin’, I kissed the air to him, signaling it was time to start the party. I turned my body inwards and sent the twit hanging onto my wrist flying ten feet in the air. He crashed hard onto a pool table, totally out cold.

“Oh, you’re good at this, darlin'.” cracked Logan. He set his fists out and clobbered the two next to him, they slumped to the floor like tipped cows. Before the shock could set in on the others, Logan and I had made quick service of them and dumped them on their asses. The whole bar had turned to look at us, the music had been cut and the gaping mouths could have started a funnel cloud.

Logan burst out laughing, he couldn’t help himself. He was laughing so hard he was almost crying. I soon started in and we nearly fell over each other trying to make our way to the door. A few peanut brains went to confront us for busting up the place, but Logan just pushed ‘em to the ground in one foul swoop.

Outside, we managed to calm down.

“That was priceless.” I cried. Logan’s arm was draped around my shoulder and he gave me a strong hug.

“Remind me to never get on your bad side.” he joked.

“Nah...you’re in my permanent good books. You’ve a got a pretty solid right hook there, by the way...” I didn’t have time to finish my sentence, Logan planted his lips on mine. I held the back of his head and firmly crushed us together. It was bliss, sometimes you just find a guy who instinctively knows how to kiss you - you especially. We pulled apart and I sucked his bottom lip till the end slipped out of my mouth.

“Hmmm....” I muttered. Logan caressed my cheek and smiled.

“Are you going to tell me what started all that?” he asked.

“I thought I saw someone...from Indemnium.”

“Are you serious? That’s not right.” “I know, it spooked me. But I could have been wrong.”

“Who was it?” “Agent Daniel Schreber...he was in to the group - he’s the one who found me, shortly after my surgery. It’s a bit of a long story, but in short, he sorta rescued me off the streets....we......we were together for a while, but I broke it off shortly before I left.”

“We can talk about this later if you like...so, are we walkin’ home?” he asked.

“I suppose so...you know, we could fly...but would you take a ride from a girl?”

“Whatever yer offering, I’m taking, darlin’” I nudged him in the ribs.

“Let’s get out of town first - the holothene is pretty bright, we don’t want to attract attention.” After about 4 miles, we were out of sight from anyone. We walked off the road into the brush, a little ways in was a concealed clearing.

“This’ll work. No one in sight, right?” Logan sniffed the air and nodded his head no. “This is a real treat you know, not every one gets a ride.” My innuendo didn’t escape him. He moved in closer to me. I slipped off my jean jacket and handed it to him. He looked a little surprised for a moment, but then recalled my demonstration hours earlier. I looked deep into his eyes, they’d become soft and hypnotizing, full of kindness and lust. I removed my shirt, leaving my ample breasts covered by only my sheer bra. The night was cold and Logan was all too happy to notice. I handed him my shirt.

“Drop these, and I’ll drop you.” I spoke softly, but firmly to him. Logan smiled.

“Yes ma’am. By the way....how do we maneuver this?” I slinked in behind Logan and wrapped one arm under his and around his chest, I pulled him close to me, my breasts pressed firmly against his back. My other arm went low around his waist, maybe a little too low, but he certainly didn’t mind. He arched an eyebrow and looked back over his shoulder.

“Don’t I get anything to hold on to?” he inquired. He then casually rested his free arm back behind to rest on the small of my back.

“Get ready.” I winced in pain and squeezed Logan as the adamantium tore through my skin. The holothene came into being and a soft iridescent white blue. In one fast swoop, we were in the air. Once we were over the trees I settled into a steady stride. Logan found the flight exhilarating, and he was pretty comfortable being held in my arms. I traversed 30 miles in as many minutes. I brought us down approximately a block away from the mansion. Logan handed me back my clothes and I put them back on, we began to walk. He went to kiss me again, but I held him back a little.

“What is it?” he asked, a little hurt. I smiled and gave him the kiss he wanted.

“We smell terrible you know.”

“Nah...when yah get past the cab ride, the cigarettes, the beer and the grime...you smell pretty damn good.”

“You forgot the cigars.”

“That’s just part of my charm, darlin’”

“So what do I smell like?” I was toying with him now, and he knew it.

“Can’t describe it...just your pheromones I guess.” He traced a finger down the front of my chest.

“I think it’s time for bed.” I said.

“Hmmmm....I couldn’t agree more.” he growled.

“I’m going to sleep Logan.” We’d reached the foyer of the mansion,”Goodnight.” He gave me another kiss, begrudgingly, that was it for tonight. I left him and went to my room, I promptly showered off the stench of the bar. But the taste of Logan remained on my lips. He was totally intoxicating, maybe I couldn’t smell his pheromones, but they were definitely affecting me. My sleep was a little restless, I imagined Logan’s would have been pretty much the same.

Chapter 8

When morning came I related the relevant details of what I saw last night with Logan. Scott volunteered to aid me in tracking Daniel’s movements over the past year. We were able to securely hack into Indemnium’s data base. Thankfully mine and Scott’s knowledge of computers, and my working knowledge of Indemnium’s system enabled us to search undetected. Apparently soon after my ‘death’ Daniel volunteered for the most dangerous missions. But over the past few months he’d become a serious recluse, focusing on tracking and listing mutant activity. It was surmiseable that Daniel locating me was just a coincidence, maybe he’d been on Logan’s tail all the time and stumbled across me. He certainly wouldn’t have been able to follow the same lines of research I had.

The Mutant Underground is too suspicious of outsiders, even the mutant ones. It took a great deal of persuasion for any of them to even listen to me. The Mutant Underground is the haven for Mutants who have mutated past human form, those who never found Xavier’s School, who didn’t want to join the Brotherhood. They lived in the shadows, in a secret realm, unknown to the rest of society. Daniel would not have received information from them - they’d never betray their own, the moral price was too high.

By all accounts, Daniel was compiling the same sort of database the late Senator Kelly had intended to create. Daniel’s present location was classified in a file that would put us at risk if we tried to hack in. We left Indemnium for the time being. The X-Men group had gathered again in the conference room.

“I’d say it was likely that you saw this guy last night. The facts add up.” commented Scott,”Did he know you were a mutant?” I shook my head.

“I was careful...the circumstances under which he found me, maybe he knew something...I had myself scanned whilst I was there, but by friends I trusted - that’s how I found out about the adamantium...I didn’t think they’d ever betray my trust...but I know I can’t be certain...” my voice trailed off. Logan seemed very tense.

“Perhaps you could give us a few more details about your past - we may be able to create a more efficient profile of Schreber.” offered Xavier, he was more or less asking me to do just that. I rubbed my temples. This whole situation seemed wrong. I was very nervous, the sighting of Daniel had upset me a great deal, and I was realizing this moreso now. I could almost feel the Professor trying to calm me, but the thought that he might see into me was unsettling.

“Five years ago. I woke up in an alley in Toronto, off Young St.; I had on only a white tank top and white hospital pajama bottoms. No underwear, no shoes, no memory. I ached all over, my skin felt like it was alive, just crawling. The first thing I did was throw up, but there was nothing in my stomach. I wandered out into the light of day, out into the street. Eventually, after someone called the police, I was taken to the hospital - they checked for injuries, took blood, etc. I ended up at a woman’s shelter and my description was put in the paper. I was just a Jane Doe. A week or so later, I woke up early one morning, 5am or so. I head ached so much I thought my brain was going to jump out of my skull. Then I *saw* images of a man, I couldn’t see the details, I just sensed that he had come for me, and that he wanted to hurt me. The halls were empty, the lights were out...there was nothing to indicate this person was anywhere nearby. I went back to sleep...a few hours I awoke to the sound of voices at my door. I sprang up and locked it. I grabbed the few belongings I’d accumulated and bolted out the window. Out in front of the building was a black car with tinted windows, and people like FBI agents standing guard. Somehow I’d known. I got away as fast as I could.

As the weeks past, I couldn’t seem to get things together. I had no way of getting a job, no ID or history. I spent most of the time trying to find a decent place to sleep, an honest way of making some money. But to be honest, I was a wreck, I had nightmares every time I slept and I’d barely eaten. It happened late one night that I found out I was different. I was wandering the streets, I had nothing better to do, when I stumbled upon a drug deal. There was a group of about a dozen gang members doing a deal with a guy in suit and an entourage. I started to run but was dragged back, I thought I was going to be raped and murdered then and there. Something awoke in me, I knew I could fight, and I knew I could win. One of them made a move on me and I just let them have it. The claws tore from my finger tips - the pain was ungodly. I could kick and punch, slash and jump. I could have killed them all. But a hail of bullets was let loose on me. They thought they’d killed me. But awoke again the next morning, my claws retracted, my wounds gone.

I learned how to control the claws. I think you could call what I became, a vigilante. I now had a reason to be out walking the streets all night. That’s how I met Daniel. As part of Indemnium, he and the other members of the group would do reconnaissance for recruits. My reputation preceded me. Daniel came upon me after I’d just restrained a mugger, who’d attacked a young mother and her two children. He introduced himself and offered to buy me dinner. He explained in brief the who, what, why, and so on. I didn’t have anywhere better to be just then, his offer intrigued me, so I went. I knew I could protect myself if things went strange. He flew me to a complex in the Northwest Territories, it was almost like something from the movies, stark white and vast. Over time, and with training all sorts of hidden skills and abilities came to light. I was exceptionally lethal with Kung-Fu, weapons like staffs and swords, knives. I’d obviously spent years perfecting myself. All this time, I kept my mutations a secret - I liked these people, I was working with them, but there are some things that you just know you should keep to yourself. But as I said before, some friends I knew I could trust did help me out - they were mutants too, but that’s all I can say.

Daniel and I had a connection too, he’d opened up my whole world and given me a possible future. I never quite learned the full purpose of Indemnium, my security clearance was minimal. However, Daniel started to use me on his team. For the most part we infiltrated crime rings, even terrorist organizations - there are thousands upon thousands - we gradually tore them down. It was good work, I had a purpose. During this time Daniel and I began, I guess you’d call it dating, but I was never willing to take our relationship that last step. Something was holding me back and eventually I found out what that was.

I had another mutation, one that is not physcially apparent. I’m a spiritual person, and I’m also a seer, a prophetess. I cannot control it, but I have visions. I can sometimes also see spirits and demons...now look, I know that you may not believe that, but I do. What occurred was I saw Daniel one day in his true form. He is not a mutant, he’s just a normal human being, but there are these ‘things’ feeding off him. It’s like living shadows, I can only call them demons - there just isn’t a better way of putting it.” I stopped my tale to assess them. Professor Xavier gave me a reassuring nod to continue, Logan on the other hand was staring at the floor, a very stern look on his face. I inhaled to begin my story anew.

“When I look at all of you, I see auras, you aren’t just people, I can see your spirits glowing off you. I realize this is a little far fetched if you aren’t a spiritual person. None of you are evil, we all have negativity, but true evil is rare. Daniel was too forceful towards me one time, and suddenly he was like an open crypt of just, just, blackness.

His soul is corrupted. I shrank away from him, and I knew I had to get away. He had sonority at Indemnium, he had power, I had nothing. I’ll wrap this up quickly, now, I faked my death and left them. I lived in New York, working clubs with a band, a few street fights for money. I went on tour - we went to Anchorage at one point, the drummer was from there. We stopped in the same bar Logan had left only a few days before. From then I used the skills I had from Indemnium to track him down, I made connections in the Mutant Underground...and followed to your front door step. End of story.”

Chapter 9

Professor Xavier agreed to use Cerebro to find Daniel Schreber. First, he explored my mind in order to create an image of Daniel. Daniel was very tall and anglo-saxon, blond, blue-eye with chiseled features. I suspected he noted a few other things too, mainly the details I did not volunteer about last night, as he had a peculiar smirk on his face when he was done. I smiled knowingly at him, I didn’t mind...I could be pretty shameless sometimes.

Jean had left that morning, despite the fiasco with Senator Kelly, she still had much to deal with in regards to the US Government. The Senator had taken a leave of absence, due mostly to the fact that he was presumably dead, and being impersonated by Mystique. The Mutant Registration cause had not died and Jean Grey was the most formidable advocate for Mutants.

Storm on the other hand had returned to her native Kenya. Not far from where she herself had been born, there were reports that a 12 year old girl was ‘melting’ things with her touch. Naturally, Storm was the best choice to investigate. That left Scott, Logan, the Professor and myself to deal with the Daniel Schreber situation. Scott and I waited for the Professor in the conference room below the school. The massive ‘X’ doors opened and in walked Logan.

“Hey.” he said to Scott with a nod, as he walked past me, his hand brushed mine and he gave it a little stroke. The move was meant to be inconspicuous, but Scott noticed. Even behind those glasses of his, I saw the arch of his eyebrow.

Almost immediately after Logan, Charles came in.

“Daniel Schreber is in New York city now. His mind is very clouded indeed, but I did surmise that he is not working for Indemnium any longer, his purpose is considerably more sinister...and focused on you hEire.”

“Son of a bitch.” growled Logan.

“What do we do?” asked Scott.

“Go find him and beat some answers out of him.” replied Logan. Charles gave him a scolding look.

“I think it would be prudent to at least to follow his activities a little more closely. Scott, Logan, I would like you locate Schreber, see if you can determine the course of his actions. Remain in civilian clothing, and hope that he does not recognize you Logan.” So ordered, the pair got ready to leave. Xavier and Scott left the room, Logan turned back from the door and came up to me. He kissed me full on the lips.

“See yah soon, darlin’”

“Be careful Logan...don’t underestimate him, please.”

“Hey...it’s me!”

Chapter 10

I was fraught with emotion. The Professor was very understanding and willing to help - but what was bothering me was internal and I was not willing to open myself up to anyone, even a friend like Charles. In my ongoing search for spiritual enlightenment, I found sometimes mediation helped. If I could move my conscious from this realm into another, maybe I could find some answers and some solace.

The grounds surrounding the school were vast and lush. Spring was coming, today infact felt like summer. I didn’t even bother to take a jacket with me. I made my way miles into the forest off to the west. The birds were signing and the entire place was alive. Already I felt calmer and freer. I chose my spot and lay on the lush, cool grass. I flattened my body out, arms and legs spread eagle. I began my breathing and closed my eyes. I listened to the sounds of nature that surrounded me. As time passed the sounds faded into nothingness. My eyes opened, and I was there.

My spirit guides were there with me - the beings of light I knew loved me totally and unconditionally. They were formless, without gender or condition. They held me, filled me with their light. We walked together, or rather we simply moved, there’s no such thing as walking when you have a body. They showed me images of all that has gone, all that is now and all that’s to come. These would not be what I retained when I reawoke, unfortunately so, for it seemed my future was filled with beautiful moments with Logan. With their love still around me, I saw Daniel as I saw him so many months ago. He was corrupt, I saw the evil form his soul had taken. He was manic and obsessive, a demon in it’s purest form. My spirits turned me from him, the message clear, they were guiding my back to the place from which I would depart, back to the other reality. Suddenly, from the corner of my eye I saw the Professor, he was talking to me, but no sound escaped his lips. I thought he may have been telling me to hurry up.

Chapter 11

“So where is the bastard supposed to be?” asked Logan as Scott parked the Astin Martin they’d used to drive to NYC, in a private garage.

“Not too far from here. He should be at the Plaza Hotel, we’ll have to find a way of locating his room without alerting him.”

“Just let me find him...”

“You’re not going to tear the Plaza Hotel apart Logan, we’re supposed to be inconspicuous.”

The lobby of the Plaza was posh and refined, as was expected.

“Let me do the talking Logan.” Logan snorted at the comment, but he knew someone like Scott would have a better chance getting through to these sorts of people. Scott was impeccably dressed in a black turtle neck, with a charcoal suit and Prada shoes, even his sunglasses looked snobbish. Logan hung back, watching the parade of exclusionary upper class twits with their fur stoles and condescending looks of disapproval. Scott made his way to the front desk.

“May I be of service Sir?” asked the night clerk, his voice dripping with false praise.

“I am to meet an associate of mine here tonight. May I have his room number? Daniel Schreber.” asked Scott.

“Allow me to check our computer, one moment........No sir, I’m afraid we have no one by that name staying with us.”

“Perhaps I was mistaken, thank you.” Scott returned to Logan.

“I heard...I think we should check the place out anyways. Let’s hit the service stairs. Once we’re in, put that visor of yours on, just in case.” Near the forth floor Logan stopped, he sniffed the air.

“What is it?” inquired Scott.

“I dunno...but there’s something wrong near here. I’ve never caught a scent like this before.” They walked the empty halls of the forth floor, following Logan’s nose. Whatever Logan thought it was, it was subtle, not the sort of smell a regular person could pick up on, it was like a person’s pheromones, only an animal would be able to detect it. Logan motioned to Scoot - room 4232. Cyclops let go a quick blast from his visor, melting off the entire door nob. Logan burst his way into the room. There was no one there, Logan rushed to the open window, outside the figure of a man in black was making his way up the side of the building by a cable hanging down from the roof. Before Scott could stop him, Logan’s claws were out and he was climbing up after him.

“Dammit,” cursed Scott. But rather than follow, Scott took a moment to explore the hotel room. The man’s personal belongings were inconsequential. The only other clue of any value was in the waist paper bin, two symbols scrawled over and over on several pages of hotel stationary. Scott took possession of one of the pages. He exited the hotel, and tried to get a better view of what became of Logan. Scott could just make out the figure of Logan, with his adamantium claws shining in the night, he was nearly to the top. Scott certainly had to hand it to him, that kind of physical strength and perseverance was amazing. The sound of gunshots ring out high above, muffled by the cushion of air between the roof and the ground. Logan’s claws retracted and he began to plummet to the ground. When Scott reached Logan there was already a crowd gathered around his lifeless body. Two gun shot wounds had opened his chest right up.

“The sonavabitch shot me, unbelievable.” muttered Logan.

“I can’t believe you’re alive!” cried Scott.

“I got a hard head.”

“Can you move?”

“In a minute...you know a 20 story fall, plus a couple of bullets can really liquefy a guy’s innards.”

“We don’t have a minute.” The sounds of sirens could be heard in the distance.

“Well then you’re gonna have to carry me then aren’t yah?” mocked Logan back at him. Scott got Logan to his feet and dragged him through the amazed crowd. Within a block Logan could walk on his own, the gun shot wounds had sealed up and his ‘innards’ as he called them had reconstituted themselves. They’d reached the garage and climbed into the car.

“It wasn’t a total loss...I did manage to find something in his room.” Scott handed Logan the piece of paper as e started the engine. “Geez...” gasped Logan. “What?” “I’ve seen this before.” “Where?!”

“hEire’s got it tattooed on her thigh.”

“Then that was definitely Schreber. I don’t think our night is over...I’m going to pass in front of the Plaza....so on her thigh, eh?”

“Shut up, kid.” smiled Logan. They pulled into a parking spot across from the hotel. Coming out was Schreber himself, with four tall body guards dressed in black.

“They look almost as stiff as you.” remarked Logan. Scott shook of the insult. The group got into a limousine and drove off. Scott followed in the Astin Martin, relying on Logan to keep them in sight whenever they got too far behind. They zig zagged through the streets, eventually stopping near a dock with a series of yachts stationed there.

“Sit tight, I’m just gonna take a look around. Watch my back.” Logan crept his way around the quay, Schreber and the men boarded a 50ft boat called, the Muitnamada - adamantium backwards, pretty uncreative thought Logan, and pretty obvious to those in the know. Daniel shook the hand of an old man in a wheelchair. They went below. The boat began to move out onto the Hudson.

“Logan, don’t even think about it.” said Scott as he came up behind Logan,”Besides the Professor has called us back, there’s a problem.”

“What kind of problem?”

“hEire’s missing...even he can’t locate her.” Logan was dismayed, it felt like his heart had sunk into his gut. Scott drove as swiftly as he could. He was beginning to understand Logan a little better. He’d barely noticed at first, but it was clear to him now that Logan loved hEire. Scott thought of Jean and thanked God that she was in Washington DC, she may have been among mutant hating politicians, but she was out of harm’s reach.

“The sky looks strange in the distance there, like a storm or something,” remarked Scott. Logan stared off towards the western sky, he sniffed the air.

“It is, I can smell it in the air. Where’s that platinum bombshell when you need her.” he growled out. By the time they approached the winding road up to the school they were in a torrent of rain, sleet, thunder and lightning. Both Scott and Logan were very grateful that the car had been modified and enhanced to handle conditions as bad as this. Logan was out of the car before Scott could even turn off the ignition. He burst through the front door, the Professor was just entering the foyer.

“Logan...”

“What’s happened!?”

“I can’t explain it...even Cerebro was not successful, I’ve never encountered anything so elusive, even with Magneto...” his voice trailed off. Logan couldn’t contain himself any longer, his claws were out and he’d cut a new door in the foyer. His mind raced with a flood of anger, regret, and sorrow. The professor suddenly, clasped his hands to his forehead. The action halted Logan from going berserk. By that time Scott had also come inside. They both rushed over to the Professor. Charles set back up straight and stared into Logan’s eyes. Logan felt Xavier try to enter his mind, Logan allowed his barriers to fall away. Xavier concentrated, he moved past Logan’s painful memories, move into the places that hEire dwelled. It was through Logan, through his intense connection to her that Xavier was able to locate her mind - for it was not in her body.

“Wake up hEire...we need to find you...hEire...come back to him...find Logan.” The Professor broke from Logan.

“Wow, that was intense...” muttered Logan.

“Four miles directly into the east forest. You’ll find her body there.”

“Her body?!” snarled Logan.

“No Logan, it’s not like that...her mind and body have detached from each other, but she’s still alive. If someone can reach you can bring her back to consciousness.”

“I’ll go,” volunteered Scott.

“The HELL you will,” barked Logan. “Have you seen the storm outside? Your skeleton is metal, your a 6ft lightening rod!”

“Yeah but I won’t get fried...you will...besides, you won’t find her as fast as I can.”

Logan pushed his way passed Scott and started to run as fast as he could, determined to find hEire as fast as possible. He caught her watered down scent at the edge of a group of trees, it wouldn’t be long now.

Chapter 12

By the time I came out of my state I was terrified to realize that a massive thunder and lightning storm was raging all around me. I cried out a harsh gasp. I was paralyzed with fear. My one childhood memory came back to me and it broke me. I huddled myself into a fetal position in the cold mud and just shook with abandoned terror. Lightning was the only thing that scared me, the one and only thing.

I thought I would soon die, my mind cried out for salvation, but my body wouldn’t respond. I thought I heard someone approaching...for all I knew it could have been Sabretooth himself, I was utterly helpless.

Logan rushed immediately to my side. He fell to the mud and took me up on to his lap. He held my face and looked into my blank eyes.

“hEire, answer me! Common, honey, look at me!” I recognized him. He was immeasurably relieved, he wrapped his leather jacket around my soaked, cold body. He scooped me up and held me close to him, I rested my head under his chin and held on to him for dear life. He made back for the house as fast as his legs would carry him.

“It’s okay, I got yah now.” A crack of lightning reamed directly above us, alighting the sky in a flale of white. I cried out, Logan tightened his hold around me,”We’re almost there.”

When we reached back to the house, there was a crowd gathered in the foyer. Professor Xavier immediately shooed them all away, leaving Rogue and Scott. “God, Logan...what’s happened to her?!” cried Scott.

“It was the lightning...” interjected the Professor, gaining a sudden window into my conscious,”When she was a child...she was stuck by several bolts of lighting - her regenerative mutation manifested itself soon after.....her parent’s they sent her away afterwards...” Charles’ voice trailed off. “Logan take her upstairs...Rogue, go and fetch Jubilee and Kitty to help.”

By the time Logan had reached my room, I was quite lucid again, and sniffling and sneezing. By the time Rogue returned with Jubilee and Kitty I was on my feet. Logan thanked them for me, but politely sent them away. I was cold and shaking.

“I’m sorry Logan...your clothes...”

“Don’t...it’s okay, I’m just glad you’re safe. I’ll stay with you...”

“I...you can go...” I could tell he was hurt by my brush off. I just couldn’t face trying to explain everything to him right now. Logan turned and left, closing the door behind him, I noted the little slam he have. I’d hurt him and that cut me to the core. I turned off my emotions as best I could, I moved mechanically, showered and changed into a nightshirt.

When I was fully calm, I sat in the chair in my room, staring out into the horrible beauty of the night. A knock came to my door. I was met with Logan’s stare when I opened the door. He was shirtless, every sinuous muscle of his torso was cut and hard. His cleaned jeans were tight and the indian head belt buckle rested low on his waist. Like every Alberta man that had ever been to the Stampede, he still had his boots on.

“Hey.” he spoke in a low, gravely voices he scratched his beard.

“Hey, yourself.” “I just wanted to make sure you were okay before I turned in.”

“I’m fine now, thank you Logan”

“Good.” he nodded and turned to leave. I stopped him with my hand on his forearm. He turned back and looked at me, he had a sort of amused but feral look in his eyes. I moved my other hand to his belt buckle and pulled him into the room with me. The door closed behind us and Logan moved in close to press his body to mine.

For all his tough exterior and bravado, Logan was a very gentle man. He took my face in his hands and brought my lips to his for a soft and long kiss.

When we parted, he seemed to be looking for an explanation. I didn’t really want to rehash my unfortunate past, but if there was ever anyone I trusted with my secrets, I was certain Logan was the one.

“What did the professor tell you?” I asked almost inaudibly.

“Something that happened when you were a child...” A thunder clap rattled the windows something fierce, I paused to inhale sharply at the shock of it. Logan instinctively enfolded me in his arms. His skin smelled so good, he was warm and steady. The hairs on his chest made my face tickle, but I didn’t pull away, not for a second. I began to retell the incident, the only memory of my childhood, a very painful memory.

“I think I must have been 11 years old. My parents and I were on a ranch...in Alberta. I just remember the moments before it happened, the rain had come on suddenly and we were soaked.....I think we were out in a field, we had horses with us...they were spooked and ran. My father ran after them. The lightning came crashing through the sky...my mother was far away from me. I was crying and lightning hit the ground far behind me, when I turned to look I suddenly felt like I was on fire, I saw only white in from of eyes. Not just in front of them, but inside too. The pain got more and more intense, and then nothing. I remember still hearing people talking, panicked voices. Slowly I came out of my state, I could hear again, see again, move my arms and legs. I looked around, I was in a hospital and there were doctors around me, and my parents too. They had this frozen sort of look on their faces. The I looked at myself. The charred, black flesh, the blisters....it all just miraculously disappeared. My parents looked at me like I wasn’t their child. The turned away, left the room and never came back...that’s it.”

Logan wasn’t too sure what to say. I had just beared my soul to him and he wasn’t entirely sure how to articulate his feelings about it.

“You know I don’t even know if hEire Ammat is my real name?” I continued ,”I have even less of an identity than you. I chose the name because of my little tattoo - an Irish Ogham symbol and a hieroglyph, and they mean what my name is.”

“It doesn’t matter what your real name is, I know the person standing in front of me. Our pasts don’t matter just now. There’s more important things than that, you know?” I couldn’t argue with that logic, Logan was right, spirits were what mattered and he knew mine as well as I knew his.

I undid his belt and unzipped his jeans as he moved his hands up under shirt to feel my breasts with his strong hands. A slight gasp escaped my lips as Logan kissed my neck. He took off my shirt and moved his mouth to my right breast. As he nipped and suckled at my flesh as he undressed me. We lowered ourselves to the bed and Logan took off his boots and jeans. Logan lay full on top of me, the feel of the hair on his chest made my skin cover itself in goose-pimples. He crushed his lips to my mouth again. I was completely lossed in the pleasure of his body. I felt his erection grow against me an tease the folds of my flesh. In one long awaited moment of complete abandon, he entered me and his whole form melted into me. I held my hands to his shoulders as we settled in sync with each other. Every second that passed between us was absolutely thrilling, our bodies were alive with innumerable sensations. It is at times of heightened emotion that I am able to open myself fully to the world around me. My connection to the spirit realms allows me to transcend the Natural Plain in certain instances. I opened myself fully to the moment and reached out past the reality of the flesh and deep into Logan’s mind. I was not searching for the remnants of his past or his memories, I was searching for the essence of his soul. To touch minds is far more significant that the throws of our mortal casings.

Our bodies shuddered with orgasms and in that instant I found what I had been searching for. The inner core of Logan’s mind, the place where consciousness doesn’t exist. It was a realm that had no pretense or inhibitions. It is something so surreal and ecstatic that the vastness of it cannot be broached with mere words. It was pure nirvana and he experienced me as much as I did him.

We lay next to each other, wet and spent. We were both trying to catch our breath and summon words that didn’t exist well enough to articulate what we knew inherently.

In the quiet darkness of the storm dying down, just on the other side of the panes of glass, we simply absorbed every molecule of the atmosphere surrounding our naked bodies. Logan was the first to speak.

“I can feel you in my blood, like you’re a part of every cell in my body.”

“I know...I can feel you inside me. It’s part of my mutation, it’s like a sixth sense. Do you know what Nirvana is?”

“I didn’t until a few moments ago.” Logan said with a smile, he rolled over and draped his arm over my stomach. Our faces were a mere breath apart.

“I’m being serious Logan.”

“I know...just teasin’ yah darlin’.”

“There is a thin veil between the world we experience with out five senses and what is called the Otherworld. Few people ever touch the Otherworld while they are alive. We see it occasionally in dreams or the flash of an epiphany. I can touch it at will, I see into the realm where disembodied spirits and ancient oracles live. It is unexplainable really”

“What is it? Like heaven?”

“I suppose it is, from a certain point of view.”

“All I know is, there is something between us...what ever it is, it’s just there. I can’t remember ever letting my guard down with anyone, but I can with you.”

“You can trust me Logan...I’ll never fail you.” Logan pulled me to him and held me very close with his arms wrapped completely around me. I sunk my face deep to his chest and was so comforted and content next to the heat of his skin. I had the feeling that he wanted to say something more to me, but just didn’t have the words. I think perhaps this was the first time he could remember making love. It was something real, not just the meaningless rolls in the hay he’d been used to. I wasn’t someone anonymous to just get off with, we cared about each other and for all intents and purposes, it was the first time he’d invested something in the action. He hugged me even closer, if that was possible, and breathed in sharply.

“Goodnight.” he spoke. I kissed his chest and nuzzled in closer, the salty taste of his skin lingered on my lips. I kissed his skin again and again and soon slipped into dreams. In the middle of the night I was awakened by Logan uttering and fidgeting in his sleep, he was having one of the nightmare’s he mentioned. It must be so horrible reliving violent fragments of a elusive reality. I shook him a little, but to no avail.

“Logan!” I called into his ear. His eyes snapped opened, for a moment he was still caught in the dream. I held his gaze and he came back to reality. He just let me be with him, he relaxed and let the moment pass. I think he realized that an explanation wasn’t necessary with me, he slumped back onto the pillows. He rubbed his eyes harshly and exhaled.

“You know,” he began,”Sometimes I’ll go months without even a single dream, other times I rather have insomnia than face ‘em.”

“Never gets easy does it?”

“No.”

“But you learn to deal with it.”

“I hope so, hEire, it scares me sometimes...with Rogue - if it had been anyone else, they would’ve been killed.” I lay my head back on his chest lay my arm across over to his shoulder.

“It’s a strange burden...but Logan, don’t ever think that it’s your fault, because it isn’t.” I seemed to consider my words, but fell back asleep without replying.

“I’ll take care of you Logan,” I whispered aloud, but mostly to myself.

Chapter 13

This business with Schreber was becoming increasingly frustrating. We really didn’t have any viable leads. Truth be known all I really wanted to do was shut Logan and myself up in a room and make love till we couldn’t stand up straight anymore! I wanted to forget everything else in the world except Logan. But reality was, Daniel was out there and a major threat to me, and perhaps to Logan too. We presumed that he was no longer with Indemnium; was working for the people who possessed the resource and technology of adamantium; worst yet had been able to track me down to Xavier’s School.

Suddenly things became quite clear to me. Logically, every one else would think my sacrifice was just about the stupidest thing I could ever do. But when I thought of all the children here, and the entire community of mutants that Charles had brought together, I couldn’t resolve within myself that I was more important. Logan would be more than hurt, way past anger, and the sadness I would add to his already tormented life absolutely killed me. But I had no choice.

I left him a note, a poor substitute and an insult, I knew. I gathered my few belongings and was on a bus to NYC. I disembarked at the Port Authority. I’d decide where I was going next later, right now I just wanted to hold up somewhere for a while.

“Yah know, if I had a dollar for every time I had to track a girl down at a bus station...train station...” he said, coming up behind me.

“Ah fuck,” I muttered under my breath. Logan kissed me on the cheek.

“I heard that. You know it isn’t wise to run off from a place with a master mind of a psychic, or your boyfriend.” He put his arms around me.

”You know I’m really not the heart to heart type of guy, but I have to tell you that I rather be dead than know that you’re out there in danger and I couldn’t do anything to help you. It was a really stupid move, hEire.”

“It was a pre-emptive move. Daniel knows I was at Xavier’s, it was only a matter of time before he tried something, I couldn’t put the children at risk.”

“Xavier can take of his kids just fine...it’s not like they are defenseless, they are mutants.” I turned around and hugged him tightly, practically crushing his ribs.

“I feel very vulnerable. I’ve never been more scared, and I don’t like it, I am not used to feeling helpless. I am weak, and not being able to help myself makes me weaker and that makes me so angry I can’t even describe it. And now I’ve dragged everyone into my sorry excuse for a life. You know, when I was in that bar in Alberta and I found out about you, I thought it was over, finally - after 5 years or nothingness, and I know that doesn’t compare to your 15....but I had such despair inside. On the surface I was fine, no one ever knew I wasn’t. But when I lay in my bed at night I would drench the sheets with tears, I couldn’t raise a sound out of my throat, but I could cry so hard that my head would ache for days after. And the anger consumed me. I wanted to come to Xavier’s and be told this is why your are, this is who did this...”

“hEire...” I didn’t let him finish his thought.

“And you were so unexpected...I was so careless, I should never have let my guard down...you are a dangerous man Logan, you are so under my skin. All I want is you and you’re the one thing I know I can’t have.”

“That’s not true, you have me, dammit. Daniel Schreber is nothing, we’ll find him and deal with him, and then get on with it.” I pulled away, pushed Logan to arm’s length.

“I know Daniel is nobody, but he sure as hell works for somebody and that somebody is bigger than all of us. I’m already dead, just think of me that way, I never should have existed.”

“This is so stupid.” he snapped. I pushed him further back. I left my bag, and just walked away. Out in the now night air I felt the cold wind against the tears on my face. Fuck.

“Not so fast. I’m not through with you yet.” cried Logan as he followed me outside. I just shut down, drowned him out. I closed my eyes and ears and just stood immobile. If I could just get myself out of my body, I would let it go forever, just hide away on the astral plane. I could feel my sanity slipping away from me and I wanted my life to end before that happened.

“GET DOWN!” I heard Logan shout. Reality was brought sharply back into focus. I couldn’t draw in a breath, my body was in seizure. I dropped to the concrete, Logan was shaking violently, his eyes wide and pleading to mine. It must have been stun guns, and with our metal skeletons, amplified infinitely.

Chapter 14

I awoke, in a dark room, my head felt like my brains had been whipped via my nose into a milkshake. I tried to take stock of my surroundings. I noticed that I was lying against something. I was both shocked and relieved to realize that it was Logan. His arm was around my waist and his chin rested on the top of my head.

“Logan...?” I stammered out.

“I’m here darlin’” he replied, he had a confident tone in his voice, despite our circumstances.

”I gotta say, those guys certainly are creative, I’ve never been zapped like that before. Dropped me to the ground like a dead horse.”

“Where are we?”

“I small, dark room. Or at least I think so...could be a suite at the Plaza, maybe. Can’t tell from down here.” he joked.

“Sarcasm? At a time like this?”

“They ain’t all that smart. Guess they never heard of divide and conquer, seems dumb to me to keep us together. But don’t count on us escaping or anything, an inch into any part of the wall is electrified, hurts like a motherfucker.” I couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“What do those senses of yours pick up?”

“See, I told they weren’t all that smart. For example, there aren’t any recording devices in here. There’s about a dozen people outside the door, I can’t only hear bits and pieces of conversations - mostly about how they got us, how they got us here, not much about what they are gonna do with us though. The place smells really new, no molds or rusts, lots of plastic.”

“So what now, we wait? I wish they’d get it over with.”

“Don’t worry yourself, darlin’. I got your back covered. But I would like you to try something out.”

“What’s that?”

“That thing you did the other day, with the leaving your body.”

“Astral projection.”

“You think you could try and get us a little help? Try and contact the Professor, or even Jean?”

“I can try, but Logan it’s not the same thing. When the they use their telepathy they’re still conscious in their bodies. But when I leave my body I no longer operate on the same reality, it’s like I go into a dream world.”

“It’s worth a shot.”

“Alright, but I need to warn you of a few things. When it happens, my body will go totally lifeless, it’s almost exactly slipping into a coma. You mustn’t try to move me or wake me - it’s like my soul and body are attached by a long string, and if you move me or try to wake me that string could be snapped. We’ll need a trigger to bring me out of it quickly. We’ll need a phrase for you to speak to me.”

“What did you have in mind?”

I whispered it into his ear,”Do you think you can handle that?”

“Yes.” With that, I shifted positions. I leaned back onto his chest, between his legs. I let my arms spread out over either side of him and my legs limp out in front of me. I breathed steadily, concentrating on his scent. I listened, and concentrated on the rhythm of his breath. It took surprisingly little time to fall under. I was there again, my safe place. My spirit guides were agitated and spastic. They wanted to tell me things, but I was unable to understand them this time, there was too much going on that I couldn’t focus on any one thing.

I saw abstract things, eggs, cue balls, “X”s, wheels, this was the right direction, albeit on an archaic road. The Professor came into focus, there was enough time for him to recognize me, pinpoint my mind, location....then I heard Logan’s voice, I heard his message.

I snapped awake, my eyes opened wide and I breathed in deeply. There was activity at the door. We stood up and leaned against the wall, Logan wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and I looped mine around his waist.

“I found him, by the way.” I whispered.

“Good work.” When Daniel, and four agents came into the room we stood there with genuine smugness, we were in charge as far as we were concerned.

“Hey there, scumoftheearth, how’ve you been?” I asked with the snottiest tone I could manage. Logan had a priceless look on his face, he loved letting Daniel know that he had the girl.

“I wouldn’t behave that way were I you, hEire.”

“That’s really an insipid thing to say you know, lays you out like an idiot - you aren’t me, and you do not know how I will behave.”

“I used to, dear.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Maybe I will again” Daniel continued.

“Unlikely, bub. Got a light?” interjected Logan, smiling wickedly and holding up a fresh cigar.

“The Wolverine, that’s it isn’t it? Aren’t all those superhero nicknames a little childish?”

“Suits me fine.” retorted Logan.

“Now, now, let’s not get confrontational. Logan is what you go by. But you don’t even know if that’s your first or last name, do you?” Daniel leaned in a little, I could see the demons feeding off him with my naked eyes,”I know who Logan is. I know where he was born, I know who his parents are, I know where he went to school. I even know what he was doing on this day just over 15 years ago.” Logan was going to lunge at Daniel, his anger had swelled up in him and was about to overflow. I held him back, Daniel was just playing with us, whether or not he actually knew Logan’s history, this was still just a game.

“That’s right, let your girlfriend do the talking, I don’t think you’re smart enough to carry on a real conversation with me.”

“Shut the fuck up Daniel.” I then punched him square in the jaw, dropping him back on his ass. However with that action, the four body guards drew out their guns to point them at my head.

”Geez, lighten up - so I have issues with ex-boyfriends who try to jerk me around.”

“You’ll be sorry you did that.” spoke Daniel as he got to his feet.

“You’re complaining about a little tap like that!?” laughed Logan.

“Bring them, the machines are ready. Say goodbye to each other, in an hour you won’t remember anything.” Daniel left the room, and the four armed agents motioned for us to follow.

“When the time’s right, you’ll know, wait for it.” I warned Logan. We walked down a very long, narrow and seamless white corridor. We came into vaguely familiar surroundings, a lab, with two tanks, and two teams of people dressed in bio suits. I looked an Logan and reassured him, I had a plan. There was allot Daniel presumed about me, he had always underestimated me. We were stripped and submersed in the tanks, we didn’t really have a choice, there were an estimated 30 armed agents surrounding us. The breathing apparati were inserted down our throats, and our fingers were spread out and fixed, so our claws would not become an interference.

I had taken a risk so great that our lives were at stake, our memories, our relationship, and even perhaps - where Daniel and his demons were concerned - our souls. But I knew, knew it in my cells that I was right. They’d ignored the difference between Logan and I, the alterations in our designs.

The two teams surrounded us, Logan was beyond panicking, his eyes were transfixed to mine, begging for a signal. Syringes of a peculiar blue liquid were about to inject into us when I closed my eyes, telling Logan it was time.

Chapter 15

My torso lurched upwards as my wings tore out my back, the tank shattered, the liquid flooded the room. The holothene blinded every one, it was so bright some of the agents dropped to the floor and grabbed at their burnt retinas. I raised myself up, my fingers were soon free. I removed the breathing tube and rushed over to Logan. With my claws extended I destroyed the tank that held him, the action was so fast that the agents were only just beginning to react. As I freed Logan’s hands and pulled out the breathing tube a hail of bullets was unleashed upon us. But unbeknownst to them, holothene could bounce bullets like rubber balls on concrete. I wrapped Logan and myself with them until the firing stopped. Many of agents and doctors had been killed with the ricochet of their own bullets. The rest, we killed, unceremoniously, quickly, and coldly. We couldn’t afford to take stock of the human lives we’d lorded over. They were not, after all, innocent in any way shape or form. Afterwards, I quietly retracted my wings, it was over.

Our clothes were thankfully still available to us and we pulled them on over the glistening goo that we’d had a bath in. Daniel was no where in sight, or smell. Logan and I stole a moment, he came over and kissed me fervently. There would be no more barrier between us, I let them fall away, for good.

“How do we get out of here?” I asked, still realing a little from his kiss. He extended his claws a new and arched his eye brow. He tore through the wall like it was paper. It was infact the metal shell of a train. We crawled out into the bright sunlight, god knows how many days had passed since we’d been kidnapped.

“That way,” pointed Logan,”Daniel’s gone that way.” He started to run, an animal on the hunt.

“Logan!” I called after him. Abruptly the train began to move away, along with mountains of evidence. But I made my choice easily, I ran after Logan.

Chapter 16

“I can smell your stink Schreber, you smell like you’re already dead. It’s only a matter of time.” Logan called out. I was nearly at Logan’s side when Daniel pounced down onto me from the top of a stationed train.

“You’re dead, mutant.” He sliced my throat from ear to ear with a switchblade. I saw the little hangers on that ate off his soul, they were giddy, laughing with victory. My blood gushed uncontrollably from my slashed throat, my face became sunken and deathly white, all I heard was Logan’s voice before it all faded to black.

“NNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” screamed Logan as he saw the glint of Daniel’s blade. Daniel tried to run, but he was no match, under any circumstances, against Logan.

Logan tackled Daniel and plunged his claws into him, over and over until Daniel’s death was unavoidable. Logan went berserk, he slashed at Daniel’s flesh, eviscerating it, making every pain synapse fire like rockets.

“You think you are something special? You think you’ve won. I’ll be dead soon...” Daniel choked out through the pool of blood in his mouth,”They’ll come for her another day, you know? And some day they’ll be coming for you...they’ll never stop...you.....you don’t know anything...”

“Tell me WHO!” screamed Logan into Daniel’s face as he stood and picked the dying man up by the scruff of his shirt. A wicked grin turned in the corner of Daniel’s mouth. He was evil and demented and wanted to torture Logan until it all went to black in his brain.

“It’s too late Logan...she’s already dead....” Daniel was gone, dead and as worthless as he had been in life. Logan dropped the body to the ground in disgust. By the time Logan returned to where he’d left me, my wounds had healed and I was alert. I came out of my daze at my first recognition of him. His knees crashed to the ground and he held me by my shoulders - searching for signs of consciousness.

“Logan...I’m alright...help me up.” When I got to my feet he just held me close to him.

“Daniel’s dead...it’s over.” he said calmly.

“Thanks heavens.” I sighed,”Take me home Logan.”

But it wasn’t over, Daniel was only a small piece of a very large puzzle. Logan and I both knew this, but we’d never speak of it. If we wanted to continue on together, we had to tell ourselves that lie. Scott arrived in the X-Jet an hour or so later, better late than never.

Chapter 17

A week had passed since we’d returned to Xavier’s school. Logan and I had decided to stay for a while, become fuller members of the team. Logan and I now also shared a room, and hopefully the rest of our lives. We lay naked in our bed, limbs still entangled from the previous night. The sun streamed through the thin curtains, it was Saturday and we didn’t intend to even get out of bed.

“Mmmmmmm....I love your skin.” said Logan, stirring out of his sleep. He moved his hand all over my back, tracing my spine. He kissed my neck, tasting the salty flavour of last night’s sweat. Finally things were right for him, he had a home, he had love, he had a future. I just hoped I could live up to his expectations, and truth be known, that he could live up to mine. There were dark places in Logan that I had only seen a fraction of. But I knew that he loved me, and I knew that that meant he would take care of me, and better yet, let me take care of him.

Right now we were in a blissful state, our connection permeated every cell in our bodies, our souls had melded for a brief time and each one lingered within the other. I didn’t matter if we were together or apart, even on the other side of the planet, it was implied that we would always be one.

I rolled over and wrapped a leg around his waist. When he was aroused, he could be quite feral, sexually animalistic - it was wonderful. Logan was an incredible and complicated man. His amnesia made him very angry, melancholy; but he had such compassion and kindness in him that he was balanced. In time, maybe he could be truly happy, if incomplete.

For now, however, things were going his way.

The End