TAMMY

So, your hairs got some grey and your hearings not good.
And sometimes your memory don't work like it should.
I've noticed your eyes, yes, you've been squinting a lot.
And your get up and go must have went, did it not?
But cheer up, the rest of us are making it still.
Happy 30th Tammy! Now your over the hill!!

MINDY

The nursing home is looking fine,
The rocking chair is too.
And when my teeth fall out,
Those dentures will help me chew.
There are face lifts for my wrinkles,
And those bags under my eyes.
And they invented Velcro,
When my hands can't "handle" ties.
So hand me that there walking stick,
And I'll get on my way.
And look out world, here I come.
A 30 year old geezer today!

BILLY'S THE BIG "4" "0"

My eyes have been fixed, but still aren't that good.
My hearing aid works, but not like it should.
My face may have wrinkles, but that's from my smile.
My mind is far from sharp, but that's from my lifestyle.
My legs do get cramps, but they have pills for that.
My hair's falling out, but I've got my hat.
My hands are crippled up, but they can still hold a can.
My feet have bunions and corns, but I'm no young man.
My back goes out, but that's from the cycle days.
My common sense has come back, but it's probably a phase.
My wife, she still loves me, but she's tolerant you know.
My life, can't complain so far, but it's only the bit "4" "0".

This next one contains some language that may not be suitable for all ages......

OLD AGE

This is us in the rocking chair,
Back and forth never getting anywhere.
Hair turning grey 'round those horned rim glasses,
Pains in our backs clear down to our asses.
We don't bitch no more, but we don't bitch no less,
And we've told each other all we have to confess.
Our children still bug us at least once a day,
And bill collectors call us about bills we must pay.
We keep waitin' for our Social Security to come in the mail,
And last week we put our house up for sale.
To move to a place where old people stay.
Where the food is all mushy and 'tators are grey.
Our husbands bones do tend to creak,
And '25' is hauling ass down the street.
But even they have become mellow with age,
Everyone said it was only a stage.
And I would have believed it if not for this,
Last week I had to help him take a piss!
And his shoes are the only things that get 'dirty',
Lord help us all . . .'cause we're only 30!