Question 43

Are any atheists/agnostics married to or in a relationship with a theist? Are there any problems due to differences in belief or non-belief?

• My wife with who I'm married more than 10 years is a catholic. The problems due to the differnces in belief or non-belief are of equal significance as the problems due to the differences of me liking folkdancing and my wife does not. (Antoon Pardon #87)

• I'm married to a muslim. There are no real problems. She does her thing, I do mine. Except that I'm right, of course (Therion Ware #422)

• My wife is a theist, but goes to church rarely (usually at Christmas). She is not rabid theist or a fundie/creationist, and we usually compromise on anything involving religion or lack of.

  Just as an example, when we got married, I wanted a justice of the peace and a civil ceremony, she wanted a church and a minister. Compromise: married by a minister, without any religious bits in the ceremony, and married in a hall.

  We have been together for 17 years, and celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this year.

  The only concern she has with me being an atheist is when I flame, argue, or agitate some of the theist nuts and kooks we get here. She doesn't trust them. (Keith Brannen #713)

• My wife is not a hardcore Xian, but does retain many of her beliefs. She realizes that she holds on to her beliefs mainly because it makes her feel better. She uses phrases like "it was meant to be" and "it just wasnt meant to happen." So, she doesnt necessarily believe in the Xian God, but she believes in some kind of higher power. And she understands that it is mainly for her own comfort and well-being.

  We've had very few problems. We did get married in a church, which did bother me a bit, but I got over it. Sometimes we get into problems with it, but nothing too bad. She understands and respects my thoughts on the subject, and I understand and respect hers. (Jason Cunningham #1126)

• Married 15 years and she is a Quaker. For some time now she has knows that I no longer hold to the source of her belife system, however, her belife system does not allow her to judge me. This works out very well as I don't judger her either. And it makes for great fun when JW's, or Mormon's or what ever come up to the door.

  All in all the only current problem with the arrangement is what to do about our son. He's 12 and start's 7th grade in the fall. We think we have a solution and are going to give it a try. Other then that, no real problems, other then the normal kind that married people have. (like when's the next time either one of us will get any sex, or who's gonna clean the bathroom this week) You know, simple shit like that. (Karl E. Taylor #1143)

• My wife is a luke-warm catholic. We don't have much problem -- she basically does not care -- except when we speak about what we wwill teach our son. Eventually, we have simply agreed to disagree and to each offer them our opinions and knowledge as just that -- not as facts. (MindFlayer #696)