So where do I go from here
Do I look for more pain and agony in love
Or just give up on it along with life
Or do I keep my search going
And just hope that that right person will walk into my life
Or have they already and I have already blown my chances
What is wrong with me
Is there a commitment problem
Definitely not
SO why am I this way
Or am I just being really judgmental on myself right now
Cause of this whole brake up thing
I don't know someoen help me please
WHy is love so hard,why can't life me easy
Why all these twists and turns
Where is my prince charming or my Cinderella
Will I ever find them
Or are they right in front of me
Maybe If I wasn't so shy at times
Maybe if I could get over myself
And actually hit back on the people hitting on me
But I just act like a dope and sit by and let it pass by
I fell stronger now that this is over with
But for what
I don't know what to do now
So many tihng running thru my head at this time
Should I be like some of my friends and just
Sleep around with everyone that is hitting on me
But that isn't me,I couldn't be like that
I'm not like that
I got such a guilty conscience unlucky me,or lucky me
Someone please tell me that you will be here when you hear the truth
I need to know that you will still be around
I love you all so much
I don't want to lose anyone
Everyone has a special meaning to me
And most of you don't even know it
I got such a support group but will you all stick by
Can it be that I just don't want to admit to myself the truth
But I know what I am
So it isn't that at all
Where am I going at life I need to take a long look
What am I doing for myself now
Nothing, wasting money on clubs,booze,cds,and clothes
All are nothing to me without a real love
And the truth being known about my life
Where is my savior now
Or is there really even one
I don't see anyone anwsering my questions or my prayers
Can anyone even understand me
I blabber on so much sometimes
I mean gees just look at me now
I make no sense at all
I'm so lost in this world right now
I just need salvation
Is there anyone that need love and I don't mean just sex
Sex is over rated
I mean a relationship
Someone who will be there for me
And me there for them
Is that to much to ask
Or am I just barking up the wrong tree
I seems ironic that I write all of this right after a brake up
Just weird timing I guess
Or is it really
It has all lead up to this
What will I do with my life
I need a direction
Some path to move forward into
But right now I see nothing
But the same old thing everyday of my life
Stuck in the same old grind day after day
With the same people over and over again
Who the hell am I really
Can't progress at all at this point
I just want to explore I don't know anymore
I need to see what is out there
Make my own mistakes and learn from them
And if I don't learn from them hopefully I will the next time
That I make the same mistake
Mistakes lead to learning
And learning leads to self knowledge
I have some much to learn in life
There is alot I know but still so much I don't know about it
I mean I just resently started dating
I mean it is kind of late at what 20 to start really dating
I mean everything before this was nothing
No real relationships
Lost my virginity at 20 why did  I wait so long for
to be continued