JJ: You folks are in for a real treat. Were going to get things started with one of the most bizarre matchups in the history of this great sport.
Max: That's right, this is the one I've been waiting for J.J. The Blender and Nemesis! Oh Boy!
Max: So what's the deal with this Nemesis guy? Have you seen him yet J.J?
JJ: Well actually, NO! He is a rookie here in the IWF, and this will be his very first match. I downloaded his stats from the IWF home page. Oh here they are, it says that he is 8 feet tall? That's impossible! He weights 600 pounds, and he is WHAT! This can't be right! It says here that he is 100, 665 years old.
Max: Well, he meets the minimum age requirement for the WCW!
JJ: I'll tell him you said that!
Max: There's the Ring Announcer, Marvelous Marv Wilson.
Marv: Ladies and Gentlemen our first match is scheduled for one fall. Now entering the ring, hailing from the Darkness...NEMESIS!
JJ: GOOD GOD!
Max: HOLY !
JJ: Just look at him. Folks this human being... well were not sure if he is a human being, but he really is 8 feet tall, at least. And he looks as if he was chiseled out of rock. I see his feet touching the ground, but it is as if he is floating to the ring. He has no music only horrible, violent screams. This is down right terrifying!
Max: The Blender is definitely way over his head with this one.
JJ: He is the one who challenged Nemesis to the match. He ask Nemesis if he was a Man or a Mouse! The Blender's regular theme song is the Car's classic hit, Shake it Up. But tonight he will be entering the ring to a piano concerto by Mozart!
Max: That must be some kind of new strategy. He might be trying to put Nemesis to sleep.
JJ: Well that's all fine and dandy, but why must we all suffer?
Marv: And the challenger, from Northridge California, one of the few survivors of the 94 quake...The Blender!
Max: Ahhh, this music is horrible. Now I understand where the screams were coming from.
JJ: Well I hear his music, but where is The Blender?
Max: He might be waiting for the a particular point in this song to come in on. These Mozart concerto's can be pretty long. I hear that there is one, from beginning to end is 4 days long.
JJ: Even rigormortis only takes 3 days to set in!
Max: This is unbearable. The Blender better get his ass out here or I'm going to call for a forfeit.
JJ: It's about time. Here he comes folks...what the...?
Max: Hey J.J., What is that around The Blender's neck?
JJ: It's looks like some kind of...Wait a minute! IT'S A SNAKE! THE BLENDER IS BRINGING A SNAKE INTO THE RING.
Max: He needs all the help he can get. And it looks like the referee, Blind Willie, is going to allow it.
JJ: Okay, he has just place his serpent on the rink post and is squaring off with Nemesis.
Max: Wow! The Blender just ran and jump up on Nemesis. And now he's hanging on for dear life.
JJ: Looks like he tried to put Nemesis in the blender right away. But Nemesis is just to wide.
Max: Yeah, it a good thing that he is. When The Blender gets his arms around someone, it's like a paint shaker in there.
JJ: Looks like The Blender is re-thinking his strategy and is starting up the those blender hands of his.
Max: I bet he can make mean margarita J.J.
JJ: I don't know if those are fingers or blades, or what they are? But when they get spinning like that, I bet they make a good weapon.
Max:You know what else they're good for J.J.? Massaging PUPPIES! Woo Hoo!
JJ: Settle down Max, that story has not be verified!
Max: Whoa!
JJ: This is unbelieveable! The blender stuck his hands or whatever those are into the chest of Nemesis as it was spinning. It somehow got stuck and The Blenders entire body begain to spin around his hand.
Max: Something is wrong J.J.
JJ: Oh my God! The Blenders DNA is getting scrambled. What is Nemesis? How did he get these powers?
Max: Do you see what I see?
JJ: I Do, and I don't believe it! Folks, I don't know how to say this but something very strange has happened. Somehow through somekind of spinning motion, Nemesis altered The Blenders DNA. When he stopped spinning...well...he...became...huh...
Max: He's a mouse J.J.
JJ: Well I guess there is no other way to say it. The Blender has turned into a small mouse. If I didn't see it with my own eyes... I'm sorry folks. I'm in shock. Somebody do something... please!
Max: The poor guy is dizzy!
JJ: Somebody call a doctor or scientist.
Max: Huh, J.J.!
JJ: Please, this is terrible. Is there a biologist in the house. Maybe there is a top secret government program that can help.
Max: J.J.
JJ: Get Nemesis back. He need to change The Blender back!
Max: J.J. Remember the snake The Blender brought to the ring.
JJ: Yeah, what about it? DEAR GOD!
JJ & Max: NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo!
CalcGirl: Oh my God, The Blender's Dead!
Marv: And your winner is...Nemesis!
Crowd: YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!