J.J.: Here we go the women's championship match is up next. Sally is the Favorite to win this Max. What do you think?
Max: Well you know J.J. I'm not into the brainy types. I'll take the puppies any day! Oh course Sally is going to win!J.J: This is a wrestling match not a beauty contest, besides we've never seen CalcGirl before, she might turn out to be quite a lovely young lady.
Max: Yeah, whatever J.J. It's doesn't get any better than Silicon Sally! Woo Hoo!
J.J.: Well folks were all about to meet the mysterious late entry to the IWF Women's Championship race. Let's go to Marv who's standing by at ringside.
Marv: Ladies and Gentlemen! This next match is for the IWF Women's Championship Title. Please welcome to her very first match, the rookie hailing from the California State University system
...CalcGirl!J.J.: Well folks here we go. The music has started, and we should be getting our first look at CalcGirl any second.
Max: Whatever, I WANT PUPPPPPIESSSS!
J.J.: It's that Sugar Ray song, I just want to fly. It's pretty catchy, but where is CalcGirl?
Max: What are they looking at?
J.J.: Wait a minute, there are some members of the audience pointing at something on the ceiling. Oh my, I think, yes, its Calcgirl, she is being lower to the ring from the ceiling. What an entrance! Okay she is about 20 feet above the ring now and ... OH MY GOD! The cable broke or something, and she's falling into the ring. No wait she has a cape which has slowed her decent. She just did a flip and landed on her feet in the ring. THAT WAS DOWN-RIGHT SPECTACULAR! Folks, please meet your challenger...CalcGirl
J.J.: What do you say now Max?
Max: _______
J.J.: Max? Hey MAX!
Max: Whoa!
J.J.: Snap out of it Max, Sally is about to come out!
Max: Who?
Marv: And now entering the arena, the defending IWF Women's Champ
...Silicon Sally!J.J.: And here comes Silicon Sally!
Max: Who?
J.J.: Sally picking up CalcGirl, oh what a body slam on the concrete!!! Max: Sally now grabbing a steel pole!!! She learned how to use a pole when she was a stripper.WHACK WHACK!!!!!!
Max: Oh man that’s gotta hurt.J.J.: I'm looking at Sally's bio and nowhere does it say she use to be a stripper! Where do you get this information?
Max: Well, uh, I, uh. I only go to those places to listen to the music.
J.J.: You are a very strange young man! CalcGirl is screaming in pain. Sally now picking up CalcGirl by the hair. Oh what a shot by CalcGirl in Sally’s private area.
Max: Sally is down. CalcGirl has got a steel chair.WHACK WHACK WHACK!!!!!!
J.J.: Man Max these girls know how to fight. CalcGirl throwing Sally into the ring now. Irish whip, oh what a close line. CalcGirl now picking Sally up, Oh man what a power bomb!!!! Max: I didn’t know CalcGirl was that strong. J.J.: Oh, a scratch to the face by Sally.Max: Man what a kick to the head of CalcGirl.
J.J.: What’s this. Hugh is coming out here. What’s he doing ? Hugh now is distracting the referee.
J.J.: OH MAN SALLY HAS THE SILICON SUFACATOR ON CALCGIRL!!!!
Max: CalcGirl now has her face covered up in those puppies of Sally. Some people get all the luck!
J.J.: Will CalcGirl pass out. Hugh needs to get the hell out of here.
Max: THE REF HAS BEEN KNOCKED OUT BY HUGH!!!!!
J.J.: Hugh is trying to help CalcGirl win, but she want to do it herself. Wait a cotton pickin' minute! Here comes The RAGE!
J.J.: I hope he is here to restore order to this match. The last time a man interfered with a women's match Rage set him up to be the women's champ. Remember Max?
Max: I don't want to talk about it. Rage has no business interfering.
J.J.: Rage? What about Hugh?
Max: Look at this! Hugh is not backing down from RAGE. Yes! Get 'em Hugh!
J.J.: Ohhhh! Big rookie mistake! Hugh didn't leave the ring, so Rage delivered a groin shot that lifted Huge right off the ground and falling on his back!
Max: WHAT?
J.J.: Now RAGE is drag that no good S.O.B. back to the locker room where he belongs. That will teach him to come out and interfere with the ladies match.
Max: Sally and CalcGirl are still slugging it out!
J.J.: The official, Blind Willie is still out cold.
Max: Sally with all that upper body strength just threw CalcGirl into the ropes...
J.J.: Yes, and look! CalcGirl is using the ropes to sling shot back at Sally. WOW! What a flying clothe line! Sally is out cold in the middle of the ring.
Max: What is CalcGirl doing?
J.J.: She just pulled something off of her utility belt.
Max: It's a cell phone! Hey CalcGirl! My number is 555-...
J.J.: That's no cell phone. It's a calculator! She's measuring the ring post and gauging the wind resistance in relation to Sally's current position. I think she got the figures she needs, because she put the calculator away and is now climbing the ropes.
Max: Wow!
J.J.: CalcGirl just launched off of the top rope. INCREDIBLE! She did a half flip with a half twist and landed square on Sally!
BOOOOM!!!
Max: She landed right on those puppies and bounced right off. I bet she didn't factor that in J.J.
J.J.: I guess not but here she comes back to cover. When Sally get's back to Hollywood she better have those things checked for ruptures!
Max: I'll check 'em J.J.
J.J.: 1.....2....3333333! 3 damn it!
Max: Get up Willie!
J.J.: Here comes The RAGE, and he's wearing a referee uniform!
Max: He can't do that!
J.J.: He can do whatever the hell he wants. He the IWF Champ!
RAGE: 1........2........3
J.J.: WE HAVE A NEW WOMEN'S CHAMPION!!!!! CALCGIRL HAS BECOME THE NEW WOMEN'S CHAMPION!!!!!
Marv: Ladies and Gentlemen the new IWF Women's Champion...CalcGirl!
