February 28, 2003
damnit. im SICK. i CANT be sick. you dont understand. if im sick, then im liable to miss work or class. when i miss work or class, i miss out BIG TIME. each day i miss work is $50 (after taxes). each time i miss class, i miss out on what assignments are due. miss out on turning in assignments. and most importantly, miss out on LECTURE. valuable information when you dont purchase the book. oh well. at least i made it to school today to turn in my lab. bah. but i feel like shit. came down with a fever yesterday, and im not really sure whether it's gone or not.
damnit. i cant interview while im all coughing and weezing. shit.
February 27, 2003
midterms results:: abnormal psych = B; spanish = C; inf. & child dvmt = B; and i still havent received results from stats, or neuropsych. im NOT doing very well. which means i gotta really get on the ball and start gettin my shit together. AVERAGE is not gonna get me into a good grad school. neither is working full time. (p.s. i just heard news that even with the tuition hike for this semester, tuition is STILL GOING UP 25% next semester. GREAT)but anyway...
we took a stress test in abnormal psych today. people in the "normal" range score between 50-200. anything above 200 and you're vulnerable to psychological or physical illness. anything over 300 would put you in the category of "needing some serious psychological help." my professor recommended anyone who scored between 250-300 to make an appointment with him in order to help us cope with the stressors in our lives. but with most of us being college students, he expected a good amount to score over 150.
yeah. so i scored 453. and i actually should have scored higher, but i kinda let a few things slide and didnt add those stressors (which in my point of view were relatively mild in comparison to a lot of other things on that list) which probably means i should SERIOUSLY consider getting some help. but i seem normal dont i? besides... i have too many other things to take care of and worry about. (uh-hur... if you didnt get that last sentence, it was SUPPOSED to be a joke. ... so like i said... UH HUR!)
.... damn. my sense of humor is gettin reeeaaaaallllyyy dry. im surprised you still read this.
BAH. i have a fever. im on my rag. it's raining. i dont have an umbrella, and my clothes are SOAKED. that might explain the impairment of my funny bone. it's BRRRR!!! someone defrost it please? and while you're at it, can i have a dry pair of thorlos?
February 25, 2003
quick update... im still not finished with my to do list. whoops. i know i lag. i have a new lil sis (sisters say that third time's a charm). her name is Nga. she lives in kansas. but anyway...
just finished my LAST MIDTERM!!! yeye! meaning i have 3 weeks of catch up before the next round of hell. so the next three weeks means MORE studying and MORE catching up. and trying to get everything else organized. bleh.
oh yeah. i came up $55 at barona the other night. that's all. bye yalls.
February 22, 2003
just so i dont get TOO distracted... since i always somehow find myself entertaining you instead of taking care of more pressing tasks... here's my to-do list. just in case you're wondering where the hell i am.
::balance checkbook
::finish resume
::send out resume to prospective jobs
::follow up
::sort socks
::find someone with ab-psych book
::paper on article 2 (331)
::paper on article 26 (331)
::paper on artcile 27 (331)
::find someone with reading list for 331
::study guide for chapter 2 (span)
::study guide for chapter 3 (span)
::family tree presentation (span)
::lab manual chap 2 (span)
::lab manual chap 3 (span)
::CD work chap 2 (span)
::CD work chap 3 (span)
::STUDY FOR NEUROSPYCH EXAM!!!
::STUDY FOR ABNORMAL PSYCH EXAM!!!
::contact Dr. Malcarne for summer research lab
::dryclean wool
::make welcome basket for little sis
::call Mark for address
::call Lisa for address
::type up job history
::PUT IN TWO WEEK NOTICE!!!
::wash towels
::contact Michelle for Nga's info
i think that's all for now. i have a WEEK to do all this. so... yeah. just call me if you miss me.
February 19, 2003
things have FINALLY started to settle down. i have 2 midterms on tuesday to worry about and that's it. im starting to get the hang of treating customers like shit (cuz you kinda have to most of the time cuz many of them are inconsiderate, cheap fucks that for some reason think that im their fucking MOTHER to clean up after their stanky asses -- and really... they ACTUALLY SMELL like shit. well... most like dirty diapers, others like vinegar sweat. but regardles... many of these people seriously need to take showers before they change out of their clothes in a small, poorly ventilated fitting room.) i got my resume half done. so im out the door. i just got my schedule for the upcoming three weeks (cut 2 hours per week. but ill make it up! hah!) so when that schedule is finished, im GONE! peace mother effers.
but anyhow, my sanity is seeping back slowly. but im sure ill be back to 100% by the end of next week. provided that i did (and will do) well on my exams. lets try to save a lil moolah tho, cuz its been raining. and you know what rain means? ....
..... SNOW!!!!! hmm. let's see if they sell lift tickets on base. yippee!
February 18, 2003
sorry to have left ya high n dry w/ no posts for a week. i had 2 midterms to study for last week n 2 more this week. needless to say, upper division is kickin my ass. im strugglin. and its takin a toll on my health. but whatever. gotta keep trekkin on if im gonna succeed in this world. so im tryin. but my resources are low, so im just tryin to get by on what i have. OOF.
ive taken on a new challenge. my kuya on the east coast has had financial troubles as of late, so ive been helpin him out with what i can. so we're both BARELY gettin by on the meager salaries that we receive. we're both set on NOT asking our parents for financial support. they've given us enough, and they have two other kids to support. if we're able to support ourselves, then we will. no need to ask mommy and daddy for help to buy useless shit. ..... yeah. but we buy useless shit regardless. whatever. the vicious cycle of your material possessions possessing you. fuck me.
anyway... work sucks as usual. FUCK holiday shoppers. those stupid fucks are the reason that work is a living hell for everyone in the retail-customer-service profession. hey... if you ever wonder why you get horrible customer service at any retail location or eatery, consider your actions. think KARMA. cuz if you're gonna be a bitch customer, dont expect to be treated well. we're there to serve... not be your fucking parents.
UGH. i need to join the ballers club. but gas prices are BRUTAL. my commutes up north have drastically been reduced. we've both been meeting in the middle lately cuz we cant afford gas. and workin up north... damnit. i just dont have the means to do that. BLEH. oof. that reminds me.... gotta jobhunt.
yeah right. im a lazy fuck with no time on her hands. you really think im gonna job hunt? i have 10 minutes before my next class. oy. can we PLEASE have a few more hours per day?
oh yeah... valentines day was DOPE! to summarize.... stretch excursion limo. all our buddies all dressed up. a little bubbly. and the starlight lounge of Rock Bottom all to ourselves. san diego is a beautiful place. HAH! that was awesome. i FINALLY had a date on valentines and it was GRRRRREAT! (p.s. i've had a significant other for previous v-days, but ive NEVER gone out that night) but anyhow.... WE'RE IN LOVE! and that's all that matters. sorry. cheese. but i just cant help it.
hey. it's been 3 months and 7 days (officially) and not one argument in sight. goin on 7 months together with no drama. this cant be real. but it is! YEAAHHHHH!!!!
February 11, 2003
ive been checking out prospective grad schools. ugh. looks like im gonna be applying to UCSD. but my grades have gone to SHIT lately, and its gonna take a lot of work to bring my GPA back up. ive been talking to one of my professors, so hopefully he'll give me a good letter of recommendation. im planning to contact another professor about a research project over the summer. Dr. Malcarne... she runs a research group out of UCSD, so hopefully working with her will be beneficial as well. i know. im staying in san diego. i told myself i would LEAVE already. but at this point, i know that UCSD has a VERY strong medical background. and that's what i really want. if i wanna go into the biological aspects of psychology, and maybe even MEDICAL SCHOOL, then i have to go to a school (that's still affordable!) that has a strong medical background. and that's where UCSD comes in. damnit. i hate this. which means im probably not gonna move out of my parents house anytime soon. damnit. oh well. we'll see what happens. bleh. whatever. i didnt wanna go to STATE, but im here. because state has one of the best psych programs in california. so i either go to a university that will teach me a lot in the field i want to go in, or start my life earlier in a lower institution. i choose to learn more. cuz in the end its gonna be more beneficial. bleh.
there i go talking about school again. sorry. but this shit infests my every thought. ugh. i make me sick. WHAT A NERD!
so anyway. i should really be doing my stats homework. seeing as how it's due in 10 minutes. or my spanish. cuz i have an exam in 2 hours. look at me. here i go talkin about gettin my shit straight, and im ONLINE just talkin about it. hmmph. i really do need to get my priorities straight.
February 10, 2003
45 minutes until bri&mar 3 month. and im so freaked im gonna pee in my pants. it's been 3 months since we've been official. 6 since our first kiss. roughly 9 since we've been conversing consistently. no arguments. disagreements have always been resolved in a loving and compromising manner. and the only "drama" we've had was when he was pushing too hard trying to teach me how to snowboard. which lasted for a brief 5 minutes. this isnt normal. we should be at each others' throats on a bi-weekly basis now. but we're not. im freaked cuz at this rate, when we finally do get in a fight, i dont know how either one of us is gonna react. oof. k. nevermind. now is not the time to think about it.
happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts im planning a surprise for him after school. not sure what to do yet. but i have a whole day to conjure somethin up. =P any ideas anyone? hmm.
ooh! more happy thoughts... i found shoes that i like. and fit. and are super versatile. YEY! and they're only $70. woop dee doo! now i just gotta get some money. BLEH. that's always the problem isnt it?
k. so that wasnt so happy. oh well. whatever. im planning to put my two week notice in sometime this week. im sick of it. im sick of the people. sick of the customers. sick of the procedures. this is SOOO not worth what they're paying me.
oh. and yes. i still owe you a post. it's in my stats notebook. be patient.
February 9, 2003
k. its midnight. im taking a quick internet break on my archaic computer to pay my bills online. things have been so crazy in my life as of late that i havent had a chance to catch up on my shit. FUCK ME. my phone bill is overdue again. damnit damnit damnit damnit. i promised myself that i would be a lot more responsible with this shit. UGH. i make me sick. but whatever.
i got home at 10:45 from work today. and you know what i've been doing the whole night? spanish homework and laundry. i went to starbucks before work today. and did stats homework. im not used to having to study so much. let alone do homework. i understand everything. but there's so much material presented in each class that i have to go over everything again to re-categorize everything. so that i wont be spitting out stats gibberish in abnormal psych and writing my neuropsych exam in spanish. bleh. IM SO TIRED! last night i felt SO WEAK. we went to PB and all i was physically able to do was sit there and eat dinner. im pushing myself to my limit and its not healthy. physically and mentally.
ive been having thoughts of having a talk with bri. about a break. well we kinda already did... but he's insisting .... okay. wait. let me start from the beginning. *DEEP BREATH* okay. that's better. okay. you read my entries. im a busy little girl. with work. and school. and AphiG. and brian. and problems at home. and money problems. i have a lot to think about. and take care of. after a while, it all seems like work. i dont have time to have fun. and when i do have fun, i go overboard and let go of all my problems. my bank account goes to shit. and i just put my body through more that it can handle. lately, i just feel like resting. and having blockbuster nights. and quiet time with brian. but i know he'd rather be out drinking and doing the things we used to do over the summer. i wanna do all of that too. but i just cant hang anymore cuz i have so much on my plate. i just think that's it's unfair to him. because he could be out there having fun. doing what you're supposed to be doing when you're 21. well i brought it up. and he's insisting that he'd rather be with me than be out doing whatever. and i know he loves me. and he genuinely wants to stick with me through all of this. cuz in the long run, its gonna benefit both of us. BUT. i still dont think its fair to him.
then again... its kind of a lose-lose situation. if i do what he always wants to do, then it holds me back. but at this rate, i feel like im holding him back. BAH. i dont know. i think i just have to stop analyzing all of it. i really should know him better. cuz i know he's willing to stick through this with me. only 13 weeks til summer. then everything will get back to normal. and if anything, this just makes our relationship stronger. no really, it really does. you have no idea how excruciating it is for the two of us to part ways. even if we see each other on a daily basis (i think the last time we didnt see each other in a day was early fall semester), its difficult to spend some REAL quality time with each other. i think quality time has been cut to 3 or 4 times a week now. and only for 3 or 4 hours at a time. =( otherwise time spent together is only on the phone or during our lunch breaks. BLEH. i need to stop thinking about this. cuz im just gonna make it worse in my head.
so anyway... if you ever wonder why you get bad service at a store or restaurant, stop and think about your own conduct. some people are just down right inconsiderate and expect to be treated like they deserve respect.
further seems forever 2/18. something corporate 2/27. please come out and support. dont stop listening just cuz they're on the path to being mainstream. stop listening when they start sucking. good music is good music. they're just living the dream. fuck what those drones think. at least you know what it's about. not just following some trend. they still dont understand. but damnit... mainstream just JACKS UP ticket prices. look what happened to NoDoubt. remember when tickets were still under $20? price of the last show... $50+ fuck that. and the last album wasnt great.
bah. damnit. i JUST found out that i coulda had a partnah to go with to see unwritten law. turns out that they're wunna my big sis's favorite bands. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! but if i recall correctly, i believe we had a sorority function that night. that she was at. DAMNIT. whatever. gotta wait til
p.s. hey JER. i read an entry (yes! im trying to catch up. but i think ill stop reading/catching up beginning of the end of january. if that makes any sense at all) and wanted to inquire... WHY HAVENT YOU ASKED? its been a while. hmm. i wish i could talk to yah. ur wunna the best conversationalists ive ever ... uh... conversed with on the topic of relationships. would like some insight please.
February 6, 2003
i just didnt wanna leave you hangin. didnt have time to post earlier during my two hour break. so i swung by RBR just so you can get a dosage of me before the weekend. cuz you know... imma be busy. haha. i say that like its a good thing. =P shut up.
so arent you curious why i didnt post during my break? huh? huh? HUH? well if yah didnt wanna know... then stop reading. but i know you. and you're gonna keep reading. so you're gonna find out. haha. no. so yeah. i got out of class early today. like 11:15ish. finished up my lab work. headed over to the language lab and worked on my spanish lab manual. which took an HOUR to do one chapter. fuck that. i still have 3 hours of lab work to put in before the exam on thursday. so an hour later, i strolled over to RBR with the intentions of leaving within half an hour to get coffee. went to RBR. picked up a copy of my stats book and got to work takin notes. yeah. an hour passed by. and it was time for class. FUCK. i was runnin on no breakfast n no coffee. you can probably imagine how grumpy i was. whatever. im still grumpy 5 shots later.
so what was my point? oh yeah. i havent taken a break from studying all day. as in ALL DAY. as in 9am til now. 9pm. the only break ive had is THIS. and walking between classes. ugh. im pooped.
k. that's all. i just wanted to whine. cuz im cranky damnit.
now my wonderful boyfriend that i love so much because he's the cheeeesiest and bestest boyfriend in the whole entire world cuz he's so good to me and sweet and caring and understanding and puts up with all my shit... and i are gonna go watch a movie. puttin off the alcohol. my body just cant take it right now. =P whatever. at least you cant call me an alkie. even if i am one... you cant say it tonight.
my Wernicke's area is no longer functioning normally. (it's a physio-psych term. look it up) i must go now. hasta luego!
02.03.03.swing.swing
k. so i have the post all written out. i couldnt concentrate in stats (and that's probably why im not doing too hot in that class) so i decided to conjure up a coupla posts. and that's exactly what i did! yippee! will probably do so in blogspot. seeing as how my domain server is TRIPPIN once again. yey. arent you just ecstatic? but for future reference, if 52govroom.com is trippin, just high tail it to http://www.oocities.org/i52govroomi and everything should be just peachy keen. comprende?
with all that said.... i would like to make a couple of announcements...
JER... thanks for the info on the jobline. you've always been a friend. and just so you know... you're very much appreciated.
secondly...if anyone is interested in buying a TUB of cookie dough (good shit!) please let me know ASAP via maria@52govroom.com it's $10 per tub. each tub is 3lbs which can make approx. 90 cookies. holy crap that's a lot of cookies. we have chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, white chocolate macadamia nut, sugar cookie, peanut butter, and M&M cookies. SOOO.... please come out and support your local chapter of Alpha Phi Gamma. we're fundraising to host a school out in KANSAS. YEAP. daygo girls are goin out to KANSAS to pledge a class. PLEASE SUPPORT US! it's only $10. that's only 3 days of coffee. tha'ts an IMPULSE BUY. damnit. i know you can afford it!
and thirdly... CONGRATULATIONS JASON AND JAN! they're finally official folks! after months of confusion. im GLAD it's finally happened. it's about damn time these two made up their minds about their relationship.
i think that's all. i PROMISE ill post those entries that i wrote in class. but these were a little more ... not urgent... not important... but i wanted to post this first. HAH. no. i just wanna keep you on your toes! SUCKA!
February 3, 2003
there is ample parking in all the structures. DURING PEAK TIMES. suprise suprise. today is the last day to drop classes. meaning friday was the last day to add classes. meaning that if you didnt get to crash and get add codes for the classes that you need, then you're royally screwed. which explains the parking structures. people are registered in their classes now and theres nothing left to do. and for a majority of SDSU students, that means that they no longer have to show their faces for class. good for me. and everyone else that's here for an education. because even if we are running a little late, we dont have to deal with the fuckfaces that took all the parking spaces trying to get into a class that they're probably gonna fail anyway. excuse me, but tuition went up over $200 this semester. im gonna get my money's worth out of this institution. it hurts to pay for school out of your own pocket.
that, and i think my parents are planning to kick me out of the house soon. it's been a long weekend. and a lot has happened since we last caught up. but you'll get the story sooner or later.
til then... i just wanted to post this...
Did you think that I would cry,
on the phone?
Do you know what it feels like,
being alone?
I'll find FOUND someone new
Swing, Swing, Swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again.
Wish cast into the sky
I'm moving on
Sweet beginnings do arise
She knows I was wrong
The notes are old,
They bend, they fold
and so do I to a new love.
Bury me
(you thought your problems were gone)
Carry me
(away. away, away...)
i was on the 15 north when Hot 92 Jams started playing "Half Crazy" and i started to get these funky feelins. and i did a little reflection. and i came to a couple of conclusions. but if i tell you now, ill be late for class.
sorry folks. we'll finish this another time.