01.31.02
i need a new layout huh. anyone wanna help out an uncreative soul like me?

January 31, 2001
okay. so i figure, since i'm late to my first class anyway, and since im gonna be tabling all through my break, and i have work after school.... that i just wont go to my first class. since i know how devastated yalls must be if i dont post every tuesday and thursday. yeah. pssha. you're hallucinating again mar. but bad thing. i missed class for the first time today. meaning im gonna end up going on this ditching streak just because i think i can make it without going to class every freakin day. ugh. pathetic. THIS is why i dont have a 4.0 and jan is getting away scot free of dues this semester. damnit. i need to be smart again. but at this rate, im not gonna get on the deans list unless i pull another 4.0 this semester. but this semester is gonna be hard. so FAT chance of that happening.
me n the pooh bear chilled at VIP last night/afternoon. we were initially planning on stopping by, chillin with mike for a few, grubbin, then peace out. we ended up staying there for 4 hours. FOUR FREAKIN HOURS! just the three of us in that booth in the corner. just talking and laughing and hanging out. it was cool. but oh so unproductive. so i missed out on picking up my APhiG sweater and kendog's jacket. whoa. i had a dream last night that when i went to pick up kendog's jacket, they lost it. they told me they messed up on the embroidery, so they embroidered a white envelope and tried to pass it on as the jacket. so i asked where it was, and i went on a manhunt for the lolo's grandkid. cuz the lolo's grandkid stole the jacket cuz the lolo told him that it was ruined. ass. but anyway, yeah. okay.
my toes are about to fall off. it's freezing outside and the frickin shoes im wearing are cutting off the circulation from my ankles down. ugh. here comes another day.


January 29, 2001
so anyway, i finally got my classes straight. at least. 2 poli sci classes taught by the same professor, a philosophy class, then 2 psych classes during the evening. did i tell you that i get to spend almost 12 hours at school at a time? doesnt it sound fun????? oh yeah. you should see how ecstatic i am about it. so excited that i can barely stay awake. woop dee doo. yippy ya yey. ugh.
and now im knocked out of the running for that promotion. apparently the store that i work at doesnt make enough money, so that means im knocked out of line behind people from horton plaza and carlsbad for the fashion valley position. weak nuts. i should be selling phones. at least i made a decent paycheck when i worked there. theoretically, i should already be hunting down internships if i want to pursue some type of carreer in psychology. or at least format my schedule to include pre-reqs for graduate school. but im lazy. so shoot me. im still dreading summer school doing statistics homework everyday. and i just found out that both of my psych classes are basis in biology. this is going to be interesting.
but yeah yeah. bitch. whine. moan. i do that too much.
it's RUSH WEEK! well it's rush tabling week at least. for now all we're doing is passing out flyers and trying to get new girls interested in joining our cult. then the two weeks after that we spend on feeding them free food and showing off how cute we are as a family. then afterwards, their torcher... ahem... life... begins as a sister. but bah. too much sorority stuff will melt your brain. i think i was smiling too much today. it hurts after a while doesnt it? its okay. most of it was genuine... most of it. but then there are always those types. you know... THOSE types that just look at you like you're crazy for talking to them. but im not. i swear. YOU'RE crazy for thinking that im crazy. im perfectly sane. well too bad for you because I AM. damnit. so there.


January 24, 2001
i dont understand why there is no class right now. im supposed to be frickin crashing that class. and there was no one there. WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME THAT IT WAS ONLY A TUESDAY CLASS????? or maybe they only cancelled today. great. now i might get held back for ONE frickin lab unit. damnit. i coulda crashed today and be done with it. so i could frickin GRADUATE on time. i told myself that since i was going to STATE that i would graduate in 3 years. FAT CHANCE. i think i woulda had a better chance finishing on time at a harder school with less people. at least there you can actually TAKE the classes that you need with no problem. bah. well at least its not my fault that its taking forever to graduate.
that reminds me. i need to brag a little. just because my self esteem has been at an extreme low lately. well. never mind. because what im about to say isnt worth bragging about. but im kinda proud of myself. my CUM GPA is 3.45. yey me. see. i told you its not worth bragging about. but hey... i work full time. and i pledged last semester. so i have a reason. shut up. so what if there are other people doing better. i can do better too. im just not applying myself. ugh. shut up. just shut up.
anyway, im tired. i was delirious last night on the drive back to san diego. i think i got too used to 10 hours of sleep every night. i only had 3 hours of sleep to function on. then drove to pomona at 4:30 in the morning. then worked 10 hours straight. no break. then had to go to ding's apt. then the university. then drive back. come to think of it, i only ate a small bowl of pasta all day. and i was bleeding heavily. so halfway home, i started freaking out. the wind was blowing my car to the side and i couldnt control it. then i started to feel like a giant. and i started losing my sense of depth and perception. all the cars around me looked like they were micro machines. so i was tailgating this big ass big rig and i thought he was a million miles away. the only reason i realized that i was too close was cuz the brake lights were so bright. and i could see my headlight beams like BAM right on the back of the rig. so iexited on lake st. in hopes of finding a gas station. but it was just a dark road that kept going and going and going and going. so i made a u-turn. finally found an arco after a couple of minutes of driving 30. and i freaked out. i think it was an anxiety attack or something. pooh bear called it something. i just dont remember was it was. i just remember being completely helpless. but i got home safe eventually. just in case you were wondering. but never again. dont let me drive up there anymore. ill take an airplane or something. or something.


January 22, 2002
so schedule a reading every tuesday and thursday. because until i get my computer up and running again, i will only have the school computer to access any kind of internet. sucks for me. and you have no idea how much it sucks. its gloomy outside. it rained this morning. and i had bad dreams last night about the first day of school, ROTC, and going to work up in Montclair tomorrow. a perfect predecessor to a horrible day. i just spent 4 hours trying to crash ONE class. the one class that i need in order to be upper division status in the fall. the ONE class that will decide my fate at this school. and i spent 4 hours basically trying to squirm my way in amidst the hundreds of psych majors in the same bind as i am. and the final say will be on thursday. and my chances are pretty slim. which may mean ill be behind a semester to graduate. which translates to later registration dates. which translates to trying to crash the same damn classes over and over and over again. ugh. i dont want to be lower division forever. but at this rate, that seems to be my fate. UGH. and i still have 2 other classes to crash. and i have no clue how that's gonna be for me. because apparently, my major is impacted by a bunch of these little freshmen that have registration priority over me. i wish the world could just revolve around me. then i could have anything and everything i want. then i wouldnt have to deal with all this shit. grr. yeah. time to go crash another class. ill be seein yalls.
p.s. if you were wondering, it's not any different being a sorority girl. its the same. but with more commitments.


JANUARY 14, 2002
its ALIVE!!!! ALIVE!!!!! oh wow. ive missed you so. did you miss me? my computer's still BROKEN but at least school is almost back in and i have the computers at school to keep me sane. or at least typing so that my sanity doesnt leave me again.
at last. i can be one with the computer screen again. playing The Sims just doesnt cut it. yeah its still people interaction, but its just not as fun when you control what they're doing. or what they're saying. bah. i miss aim. soon. i will regain my strength. soon. just wait. and you'll see. ill be back (again). to rule this domain. and when i do. you'll see.