January 31, 2006
i'm owning up to what i've done. and finally realizing how stupid i've been. Thank GOD that i have a wonderful support system. everyone at work and my family and the people that i've told have been amazingly supportive. Just thinking of the things that people have been telling me and the way that everyone has had my back these past couple of days is making me all teary-eyed. OY!

so here's the skinny.... Saturday night. Lucia's 21st birthday when i was bartending. for some reason, everyone feels the need to take a shot with the bartender. knowing myself, i only had about 4 shots of jack daniels (ew). 2 washinton apples. a margarita and a cosmo. for those that know me well and my drinking habits... that isn't as much as you'd think. anyway... a lot of drama within the party, so i stopped drinking at about 1030 (i started at 8). always playing the responsible drunk, i was helping the birthday girl barf her brains out, cleaning up the apartment, and tryin to stop all the yelling. midnight rolls around and the place finally quiets down. but her parents (yes, HER PARENTS) were still being a little drama. so i decide to leave. still drunk, i decided to take a little nap in my car. a couple of hours later, i was groggy, but FREEZING and decided to start heading home. now mind you, this is in unfamiliar territory, didn't know where i was. i was still a little buzzed and GROGGY as hell. but i drive regardless. i make a few wrong turns and end up at the Point Loma Navy Base entrance gate. i ask if i can make a U-turn, the guards refuse and ask me to step out of my car. i fail the field sobriety test, they cuff me and take me into custody. a failed breathalizer later (my BAC was .125, well above the legal limit), they write up my citation and advise me of my rights and what will happen. SHIT. 4am rolls around and Brian comes to pick me up. THANK GOD for Brian. despite all the shit we've been through, he's still the first person i know i can call in times like these.

so in about an hour i have an appointment with a DUI lawyer. considering the circumstance, things could have been A LOT worse. they didn't impound my car. they didn't cite me for driving without proof of insurance. they didnt take away my drivers license. they didnt fully arrest me (in the sense that i didnt have to be fingerprinted, read miranda rights, held for bail, etc). the thing that worries me the most is that because it was on military property, i will have to go to FEDERAL court instead of city court. and honey, Federal Court judges/prosecutors are a bit tougher than city. shit. so hopefully my lawyer can get me out of it.

i've gained a wee bit better perspective of my situation. mostly because the people that i've talked to have been very optomistic of my situation, and have really helped me to keep my head up. God blessed me with wonderful friends, coworkers, and family, and the strength to get me through this.

i just have to keep telling myself that it could have been worse. and that this is a lesson WELL LEARNED. the drunken times that follow this post will SURELY include a designated driver. that's a promise. and this time, i'm not saying that I QUIT. because i don't. you know me and i know me. i just know that i'm going to be much more responsible. cuz that's what matters now.

it's just been a WEIRD weekend. between my DUI, my lil sis totalling her car, my brother losing his car in pasadena (and it's still out there somewhere, btw) and Roe's friend getting stabbed... YIKES. something's in the air. Thank God it's February tomorrow.

OH YEAAAHHH. that's what else is happening.... excuse the redundancy.... but i met a boy. *swoon* he's a marine drill instructor. HOT. bartends. my friend Jamelah brought him to the party and apparently, he's been asking about me. hooray! mar might have a valentine this year.

and i can get my student loan deferred for a little bit while i'm takin classes. woop woop. that's an extra $238 in my pocket every month... actually... more like... that's my monthly payment for my lawyer!

i'm trying not to let this situation consume me. but please keep me in your prayers. i dont think my mom can handle any more of this kind of shit from me. she's on the edge. so please pray for my situation and for HER well being.


January 29, 2006
OH MY GOD. i was arrested for a DUI last night. Oh my fucking Lord. I'm in deep shit. i hope this isn't as expensive as the commercials say it is. Thank you brian and mike for coming to pick me up.

but i wasn't THAT drunk. i swear. i just got lost and stupidly ended up at a navy base entrance gate. IDIOT.

any advice, PLEASE CALL ME!!!!!


01.27.06
FOR A REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD LAUGH. click away.

i was speechless after my first viewing. thanks big bro! you always know how to put a smile on my face.


01.27.06
aside from the drunkenness... last night was a big hoot. oy i love my iota girls. plus amanda.

note to self: do not drink excessively when you've only eaten a bowl of veggies for the day. especially after you've had blood drawn. idiot.


January 27, 2006
post script. written at 3:29am. drunk. in bed.
2 DOUBLE JAGER redbulls, 2 jager bombs, 2 AMFs, 2 washington apples and a red-headed slut later... mar was faaaaaaaded! and a couple of hours on the dance floor later... mar thought she was sober. a couple of drunk dials later... she realized she was still piss drunk.

Big bro.. we have the BEST FAMILY EVER! i love you and my twin and hopefully i'll meet my grand big bro someday, cuz i'm sure he's cool beans too! =)

LA POSTA was BOOOOOMMBBBBdiggity. as alwaus. though i DID reminisce about the last excursion there. *SIGH* that was good times. but 6 bitches crammed into one booth is good times too!

erik. foooooooooo(L.) you gotta move back HOME to san diego! i miss you fool. ugh. i can't BELIEVE you placed first in trivia without me. boo on you. ugh. you're missin out on good times and sunshines. and life in a bubble. (oh yeah. i hung out with bubble girl tonight). ey yo. sorry for the drunk dialing and dialing and drunk texting. but i got youuuu to thank that i didn't drunk dial brian or china or weird-lookin-freddie.

mar needs to sleep. mar needs to work in a couple of hours.

p.s. HOTTESTBOUNCEREVER has been upgraded to HOTTESTTHINGALIVE. sorry husband, but you've been downgraded. but i'm still MADLY IN LOVE with your 31 year old ass.

mar is an alkie. and foo is so cute. but he's short. yay for PB!


January 26, 2006
UGH. i'm such a WUSS. and she only drew two vials of blood. but from all the squirming and the squealing and the funky faces, you'd think she was draining my entire body of the stuff. UGH. this is why i can't be in the medical field. live things and warm blood are just DISGUSTING. give me a cold, dead body/brain/body part and fill the room with the scent of formaldehyde ANYTIME. just dont give me any live ones. **SHUDDERS**

anyhoo... aside from that complete lapse of judgment below (refer to song lyrics below), i'm OKIE DOKIE, hokie pokie. i was just in a bad place. the feelings will (hopefully) pass. it's just a rough, hormonal time. don't look too far into it.

although, Dookie did say "there's a morsel of truth in every joke" and even if there was/is/could be a morsel of truth... you're not about to know about it. why? because i said so. and i gotta have some secrets, don't I? i think i'm just reading way too much into things again. and we all know that the last time i did that, it all blew up in my face. it's been a disaster, and remind me never to do it again.

but in this case... it just might work out!

NOT!


01.25.06
In a Rush....Blackstreet
It came over me in a rush
When I realized that I love you so much
And sometimes I cry, but I can't tell you why
Why I feel what I feel inside

How I've tried to express what's been troubling my mind
But still, I can't find the words
But I know that something's got a hold of me.

It came over me in a rush
When I realized that I love you so much
And sometimes I cry, but I can't tell you why
Why I feel what I feel inside

Baby, someday. I'll find a way to say just what you mean to me
But if that day never comes along,
And you don't hear this song,
I guess you'll never know that...

It came over me in a rush
When I realized that I love you so much
And sometimes I cry, but I can't tell you why
Why I feel what I feel inside

And when I say inside
I mean deep
You fill my soul with something I can't explain
What's over me.....

zuoy2ram2omen. sometimes i just need to keep running. cuz this kind of stuff just hits me and i hate it when it does. i'm too emotional. i need to stop looking too deep into things. because really... it never ever works out. it only did once, but now it's a complete disaster because of it. stop it mar. you just need to stop. it's not real. you're going to destroy another one. just stop.


January 25, 2006
Happy freakin Birthday Jeanelley-pie. I can't believe you're a quarter of a century. you can take underage into Dave n Busters now. hoorah para tu! I'm glad i got to hear your midget voice today. it's a comfort to know that i've got your friendship for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever. sista gurrrl. even tho ur a little white boy and i'm a large black man, we're still blood brothers. ya heard. sorry i can't come up to your pah-tay, but you know... i'm too popular to go to YOUR party anyway. i'll see when you're down. and take you out on a date. hope your girlfriend doesnt mind. just tell her i'm a man... man. (tuka tuka tuka tuka, tuka tuka tuka tuka, ughhhhhh. macarena) gump. i hate you forever.

jeanelle. one of my random friends. one of the few friends i've got in life that i would seriously drop anything for if something was wrong. (it actually happened when i HAD to drive up to long beach when she was having a crisis, which ended up being something so small and fixable over the phone. thanks, friend. for making me drive for that. you big fat fattie nerd. i hate you.) i miss having her in san diego. BUT... like most people i get close to in this lifetime... they can't stand the bubble that is san diego. i dont blame them. but i do hate being left behind. even if this place isn't small town USA, that's what it feels like.

the older we get, the smaller the world becomes. it doesnt help that now everyone and their freakin mom (LITERALLY) is on myspace. (and now, yours truly is included). i feel like the more people i meet... the more people i lose to different parts of the world. then those people meet people. who meet more people. who bring people back here, to meet people here. then leave and meet people that meet more people and introduce you to more people then come back with people then meet more people. UGH. it's MADNESS.

it's good. but it's bad. i dont know what to think anymore.


01.24.06
a few of my favorite photos. =) enjoy.

i used to spend a lot of time at this fountain. just thinking about the day i could move into one of these apartments. i used to bring my lunch or a snack and just sit. and watch people pass by.


just cuz that was a perfect day


reminds me of better, carefree days of summer


the reason i could never leave san diego


you would have had to be there. but this reminds me of my family and how much i love them


that's a "GRAND OPENING SALE" sign underneath a "STORE CLOSING" sign

my absolute favorites are still in print. do you remember 35mm film? yeah. those prints are still my favorites. eh. one day. and no, i dont want to re-size, bitches.



January 24, 2006
these santa ana winds are freakin STRONG. the winds are making scary noises. the winds bang up against my windows. and outside i see my palm tree swaying back and forth. that can't be good.

i've been trying to upgrade my phone for the past hour. but i guess you have to do it instore. so i can't get quixtar points on it. BOOO. whatever. i can deal. but shit. that woulda been some good commision.

speaking of which: i'm tired and grumpy and i loathe going to work now. i need out. but official layoffs start on March 15th. i just want my severance package already so i can peace out and find a real job. ugh.

blah blah blah. negative energy. blah blah blah.

on a much happier note: i have 3 loads of laundry to do then i'm off to pay my tuition! HOORAY! (no, really... that's a genuine hooray!)


January 23, 2006
Happy birfday Khrissypoo! I miss u n i love u n i'm really sorry you had a crappy bday weekend. next time, make sure u call me and i promise it will be fun times. MISS YOU!!! Welcome to the SONG age! hooray for all the "23" songs!

ugh. which means i turn 25 this year. YIKES! i'm old! seriously, i need to just stop drinking so my health doesnt go to shit. but i bought these liver vitamins. hahha! hopefully those will help with the extension of my life. that, or my already-too-high tolerance will shoot through the roof. crapola. at least if i have tolerance i'll stop making out with random guys.

which reminds me: i just recently found out one of my friends is a virgin. and horny as hell. any takers? my goal for the year is to get her a GOOD LAY. and someone she can practice with. (haha, i sound like i'm pimpin her out. highest bidder gets her cherry!) in any case... we've been having a blast trying to boy-scout for her. even created a myspace account for her and everything. seriously... this is an actual GOAL. she needs to get laid soon. if you have any suggestions, please call me or email.

and i found John Cho and Douglas Robb's Myspace pages. Doug's i know is REAL cuz one of his friends is his biological SISTER. WOWEE!!! i actually have the means to contact him! maybe i can ask when he's coming over to make babies with me. someone please stop the drool.

okay. i really need to do laundry now. and if you'd like to see mar succumbing to the myspace revolution, it's myspace.com/sdslut. yeah. i know. shut up.


January 22, 2006
post script. hand written at 2:18am
today ranks as one of the random days of my life. and you know the good part about that? a lot of good came out of it. lets just see, shall we?
*got a well deserved spa pedicure
*finally got to hang out in carlsbad
*had a really good steak
*got to spend some quality time with best big bro ever in his neck of the woods
*found a way to actually get in touch with John Cho and Douglas Robb (i think i just wet myself! OY!)
*realized that maybe i shouldn't hang out with drunk white boys
*had some good laughs with Heather
*found a beer that i liked
*found places to go with drink specials on a sunday night

the original plan for the day was to hang out with the marines for the day. we didn't know who or where.. just that we were gonna hang out. we (and by we, i mean me and Ha) didn't expect to meet up until afternoonish. (the marine boys had been drinking the night before and Ha and I had work til 1130 the previous night). well... my phone goes off at 830 in the morning. the boys want to hang out already. are you fucking kidding me? it's 8 fucking 30 on a sunday morning! Ha was knocked out and her phone was off. and the conversation went something like this:
mar: Ha's not picking up her phone. we were going to meet at 11ish. it's too damn early!
jeremy: well we have work at 330. so don't wait too late. we want to spend time with you.
mar: i made plans with Ha first. sorry boys. but she got dibs.
jeremy: wake her up so we can go
mar: her phone is off. so i'll call you later when i figure out what's going on
jeremy: okay. well you should just come over now then. then we can meet up with her later.
mar: um. no. i'm still in bed.
jeremy: fine, party pooper. call me later
mar: yeah, yeah. i will i will. i'll just talk to you later and let you know what's going on.

i never called back. or answered my phone. whoops. my bad. but whatever. they're not a priority. but getting Ha laid is!

so instead of hanging out with the marines, the day went like this:
*drove to carlsbad to hang out with Ha
*hung out in carlsbad scoping for hot surfer boys. none to be found. boo hoo
*drove out to san marcos to have hotchoc with my big bro. had some good conversation
*on my way down from san marcos, Michele calls and asks me to make a detour.

and the detour was to? PB. shit. go figure. on a fucking sunday night. but i HAD to. i had to be one of her wingwomen. BLEH. so we start at moondoggies (2 dolla u call its). then off to Typhoon Saloon (2 dolla drafts). then off to Tavern. then to The Dog (free pool and 3 dolla pitchers). then mexican food. well Michele's man was with HIS wingmen. whom were BELIGERENT. and outright OFFENSIVE. you know me. i dont get offended easily. you can take a marker to my body and write obscenities and i'll still laugh it off. but these boys were OFFENSIVE. just like the cavemen (but not the cavemen in the Geico commercials. the cavemen in like the cave paintings that go "ooga ooga") in any case... michele liked the guy... so heather n i took the abuse. but good GRIEF. between the beer chugging and the Motley Crue guy, and the booby rubbing and the stripping and the keep away and the kiss away, and the lewd comments and the stumbling and the poking and the hair pulling... it made for some interesting comments.

then i talked to DRUNK ASS ERIK. drunk ass. i can't believe you killed all that Belvedere. BY YOURSELF. alkie. ALKIE! Ugh. I'm jealous. and i really did take that invite to come up there this week seriously. I actually PLANNED on it. actually driving up tonight and staying there for the day and driving back down tuesday night. or i was actually considering driving up after you called me, calling out sick on monday and driving back on tuesday night. just so it would be at least a couple of days. but then i realized you were drunk. and you would have been confused on why i came up. and think i was psycho. and then i didnt know where i would sleep. or where i would shower. but really... i REALLY wanted to. there's nothing here for me in san diego. (except work and my family and friends, hahah). that would have been fun tho. but for sure i'm comin up to visit. and since your couch is empty, could i crash there? haha. we'll see. call me when you're sober, fool.

and that was my day. one call after the other telling me to drive places. that was a LOT of driving. but it was all worthit. =)


January 22, 2006
friday night at pb bar n grill. drink count: 7. girl count: 3. boy count: 5. last week's adventure rolled over into this friday's adventure when the marines we found last week found us again. but instead of a "hey, let's dance." i was greeted as "hey, it's my bartender!" apparently, the news about the contents of my trunk has spread throughout the barracks. so this time, we actually exchanged numbers. and they haven't stopped calling since. every hour, on the hour, i receive a call. when i'm at work, i receive multiple text messages. damnit. i'm at work. leave me alone. i dont want to come over and drink. i dont want to go on base. you're SHORT.

i'm just in it because Ha actually likes one of the guys. BLEH. these guys don't drive. they're nice enough. but really... UGH. the double dating thing is getting old. wingmar needs some time away. Ha needs to go on a date on her own damn self.

Bubble Boy is hilarious. you should make it a habit to watch it on a regular basis. b/c jake gyllenhaal is still hot even as a sheltered bubble boy.

so i had a meeting with the swingers yesterday morning to finalize my paperwork. (i've joined a cult, folks. haha. no i'm kidding. i joined up with quixtar.com so i can get a discount everywhere). the couple (whom we shall refer to as the swingers) had me over for breakfast and were asking about life in general. then they brought up my "singleness." apparently, they've been thinking of setting me up with another kid in their business. James. 24. bank manager. japanese/german. hmmmm. i guess we'll see. the only thing i'm thinking is... i hope it's CheckGuy. i hope it's CheckGuy. even tho CheckGuy's name is John, he told me it was "Jay" at the club. here's to hopin.

dear erik. it was fun this winter. you should hold off on going back to the bay more often. we'll go to Tommys when you're back down. or i'll come up as soon as i'm unemployed. then you can introduce me to #1 and #2. hahahahah! j/k. but yeah. i should be unemployed sometime in late march or early april. spring break! yay! ooh! if there's still snow.... TAHOE for snowboarding!!!! but it was good times, man. thanks for the adventures. and being the DD all the time. you're the best.

k. time to go to carlsbad. peace, fish.


01.19.06
january 5, 2006. DRUNK FOOLS. good times. good times.


January 19, 2006
in a fit of boredom last night, i ended up at Gina&Erica's place. doing what? absolutely nothing. we were supposed to drink, but one was too tired and the other was woozy from donating blood. so we somehow ended up online on myspace looking up the freaks, geeks, and psychos from their lives. for those that don't know... i dont have a myspace. i refuse. and despite the billions of people with accounts in the world (literally)... i am not one of them. nor do i intend on becoming one. this is one trend that i hope i can pass up. (then again... i did fall in love with the pointy shoe trend.)

and why not? you ask? for many reasons. first, because i really don't want to. it's too addicting, and i don't feel like having another obsession... especially one that would contribute to my ass getting flatter (yeah, i know it's already flat... but it CAN get flatter if i spent the majority of my time on the computer). and for those of you that say that it's not too addicting, and that i just need to learn a little self control.... then you have obviously never met me. (addictive personality). i have more important things that i really should be doing. finding people from elementary school or some random person that i probably met a million years ago is not exactly something that i aspire to do.

secondly... i'm TERRIFIED. of who will find me. of who i'll find. of what things or information or people that i uncover. not that i have anything to hide... as you can see, my life is an open book. and honestly... if someone really wanted to find me, all they would have to do is do a search on google, and this page generally pops up on the first page. and there are plenty of ways you can contact me.... most of which are clearly posted somewhere on this page. in any case, that whole online networking thing no longer appeals to me. i prefer to meet and greet and interact in person.

there's also that thing with my friends hooking up and asking about friends of friends or friends asking about friends. ugh. no thanks. it's a small world already as it is. i dont need to know that you fucked some person on my friends list. between being in a sorority, working at the mall, going to mira mesa and morse (simultaneously, hahah), graduating both in 1997 and 2000, working in every mall in san diego, and going to sdsu.... that's a LOT of people. i dont really want to know. nor do i care. cuz if i really did care.... i woulda called your ass or IMed you. i'm not into the numbers game. i see MORE than enough people when i go out at night.

then there are the myspace conversations in PERSON. you've heard them. i've heard them. there are people talking about myspace EVERYWHERE. bands create their PRIMARY websites on myspace. they talk about it on the radio. they talk about it at starbucks. every fucking person with internet capabilities on their cel phones are constantly checking their messages. NO THANKS. if i wanted to have a conversation about what happened on the internet, i'll have it while i'm online. in person, i want to talk about the things that are happening in real life.

so last night, while we were looking for freaks and geeks, erica tried to create an account for me. i refused. fuck. i bet she found out my email address and made an account for me already. she can easily steal photos from imagestation. crapola. but whatever. if you somehow find me on there.. i swear it's not me. it's the evil roommates doing a science experiment to see how many people will add me in a week. ugh. damn kids.

oh yeah... and erik... they just wanted to see what your myspace looked like. i dont know why. they're stupid. we were bored. so i just showed them drunk pictures from d&b. hahha. all hail the mighty AMF.


01.18.06
typera.tk hates me. it keeps freezing up. or it won't start when i start typing. so i never know when it starts. so i always get a bad start. so my timing is waaaay off. i know i can type faster than the average bear. damnit. better than a cripple. damnit. ugh. whatever.

i was supposed to be sooo productive today. what have i done so far? not much. just finished a little less than half of what i was supposed to get done during the daylight. and now i hear a storm brewin. argh.

school started for sdsu today. bah humbug. i'm a jealous bear. but you know what? i registered for classes today! hooray! Advertising Principles, Principles of Marketing, Chem 100 and Lab. HOORAY FOR MAR! i'm super duper excited. i even have an 8am class! WOO HOO!!!! good bye lazy mar!

what a nerd. but that's what happens when you're a big kid in the real world. you just wanna cuddle up with a text book and relive your carefree days again. i'm lying. i just wanna make my manager's life a living hell.

so all the valentines day stuff is out. everywhere. you can't avoid it. bah. i want a valentine. it doesnt even have to be romantic or anything. as long as we get drunk, then it's all good. as long as he can drive my ass home, then so be it. no dinner required. i can get my la posta my damn self, thank you very much.

in any case, i was looking thru my archives, and found my resolutions for the year 2005. lets see, shall we?

*get back in shape. being fat just isnt working for me. but i'm still a FATTY!
*find a grad school program and try to enroll laugh as hard as you want. cuz we all knew this wasn't gonna happen
*quit robinsons may and find a real job. crap crap crap! but at least in 2006 it's really gonna happen!
*get rid of at least half of my credit card debt. got rid of maybe a fifth of it. but got rid of some, regardless.
*keep my room and car clean and happy (or at least less cluttered). got the room part down, but not the car. darn.
*drink more water. YAY! this one i did!
*train my internal clock on a more regular schedule. only happened for about half of the year. but almost!
*party more. hahahhahah. hell yeah i accomplished this one too!
*shop less (last year i was able to shop SMARTER, so this time it will be LESS!) eh. kinda sorta. but not really.
*transfer accounts into better standing ones. YES!
*call friends. YES!
*learn how to cook... or at least how to bake. no. boooo
*learn how to knit or crochet (thanks jazzy!). i dont even know why i added that.

i didn't do so bad. at least it wasn't a complete waste of a year. i got some stuff accomplished. hoorah!


January 18, 2006
blame erica. she started it all again. she made me start thinking of him again. she's on some kind of crack these days. but you know what? it might just be keahiwai finally getting to me (its been on repeat for the past hour).

i miss china. but i dont miss china. i think i just miss the idea of china. i miss having somewhere to go. i wonder if he's thrown out my toothbrush. it was cute. our matching toothbrushes. mine was pink. his was blue. but same kind. UGH. I DONT MISS HIM. I DONT MISS HIM. ERICA IS PSYCHOTIC. I WILL NOT CALL!

oh yeah. finally uploaded this. go ahead. click on it. and you'll see why i say he looks like john cho. it's because he does. ugh. i will not call. i will not call. i will not call.

the frustrating part? well... not so frustrating cuz i dont really care that much. but:::: i was setting up all the valentines day gift sets today. UGH. so maybe i will call. just so i have a valentine. and he can call tomorrow and make reservations or something.

it's because he lets me be lazy. i dont even have to WALK to bed. i just ask to be carried. ugh. i will not call i will not call i will not call i will not call maybe i'll call tomorrow. just to catch up.


January 17, 2005
everyone wonders "what if..." usually about things that they regret not doing. sometimes about different situations. sometimes about different time periods. there are a lot of 'what if's' out there. what are some of yours? i would love to here them. click here and type away, my friend

my particular "what if" for the night involves two parties. no, not fiestas. two parties as in two people. i have this friend with an incessant need to be the center of attention. to paint a picture: she's a drama queen. she doesnt think she is... but i know she knows everyone knows she is. get it? in any case, she has two best guy friends. one recently came out to her. the other, she's waiting patiently until he realizes that he's gay. (fag hag, get it?)

so this closet friend of hers.... has always been a close friend. but only recently did they really start spending every waking moment together. he threw her huge birthday bash over the weekend, and the only times they are ever really apart these days is when one or the other has to work. and because of all this time they're spending together, she's beginning to think that maybe he really is straight. i've met him. he made my gaydar go haywire. but she's convinced that he's straight.

so here's the "what if"... what if she starts falling for him? not hard and quick... but she's seeing him in a different light now... which is makin her like him a little bit more every day. now granted.... ever since a bad breakup with a bad guy, she's been pretty vulnerable and hasn't really been picking great guys. so this newfound crush that she has on her friend may just be her trying to find love somewhere that she knows is safe.

but what if he really is gay? he shoots off everyone's gaydar. and even she, as one of his closest friends, thought he played for the other team. if she makes a move, how bad of an idea is it? hrmmmm.

on the other hand.... if he's not.... and he doesnt feel the same way as she does... how dangerous is it for the friendship? what if? what if? what if?

anyhoo... i would love to hear some thoughts. she's just not listening to her friends, so maybe if i forward her a couple of opinions from complete strangers, then she'll start to see a clearer picture. bleh.


January 16, 2006
nothing like old slow jams and rummaging through old letters to get your heart going. the intention for the night was to clear a few of the notebooks from the top of my closet. i never got to the school work because i was so distracted by the pile of old yearbooks and the old love letters and letters from friends written in pager code. i finally was able to throw away a box full of phone numbers written on random pieces of paper (wow. there were a LOT of numbers in there. mostly of random boys i met pager feening. some from the mall--yay plaza bonita. and many of which did not go to my middle school. or high school... for that matter). but amidst all those numbers and random letters, i found an old bottle of mens coolwater from my then best friend. it still smells like him.

and as i sit here typing, my brother just so happens to have a cd of really old slow jams playing. some of which include all-4-one, boyz II men and new edition. hrrmmmmmm. i could stay here forever.

i remember the herschel days. ofcourse, he's married now (to a bitch, i've heard) and has adopted said wife's child (which i hear is a brat). we were so close back in the day. we talked about everything. we helped each other grow as prime other-halves. we hooked each other up. we alternated crushes on each other. it was great. he always smelled sooo good. in high school we drifted apart. we ended up going to different high schools... he found his crew, i found mine. we crossed paths on a few occasions, but the most we would hear about each other would be through old friends and friends through each others' churches. it was so hard to keep in touch because we would constantly change numbers. he was always moving. and every time we would finally exchange numbers, something would happen. what i would give to sit down to dinner with him and just catch up on each others' lives.

i found an old letter from him. he typed it. not because he had sloppy handwriting... he had great penmanship. it was because he was so fascinated with the different typefaces on his computer. in this particular letter he was in one of his lonely phases. being alone always did depress him because of what happened to his parents. i think that's why we were so good together. we balanced each other so well. and we always knew how to comfort each other.

but that was back in the day. back when my biggest problem was whether or not i would get an A, and A- or an A+. or whether or not doug or roger was thinking of me. back when nobody really cared what you wore... it was who you hung out with that mattered. and really... as long as you had good friends to hang out with, then you were good.

i had a good time growing up. i hope you can say the same. and despite all the goofy moments, everything embarrasing, everything sad, and everything else in between.... all i hope is that you've learned from every experience you've had and everyone you've met along your path. that's life, folks.


01.15.06
of all the masses he could have gone to.... he had to show up at MINE?! ugh. and of all the days he could have seen me... he had to see me the one day i had no make up, wet hair, and the first things i grabbed out of my closet. great. lesson learned.

ex-mark was sitting 4 pews in front of me in church. why that mass? why did he have to go to MY mass? and why did he have to look good? damnit. and i looked.... not cute. bah humbug.

i burned a hole in my sock today. my fams and i were sittin around watching "elf" and having a good ol time. my toes were cold, and conveniently, there was a scented candle on the coffee table where i had my feet propped up. so... thinking i was a smart little cookie... i hovered my foot above the candle, let my tootsies warm up a bit, and let the warmth of my right foot transfer to my left foot. but... OUCH! WTF!?!? why did it BURN when i put my feet together?!?! so i looked at the bottom of my foot... and lo and behold... a nice, large, hole burnt into the bottom of my sock. WTF? i had my foot a good distance away from the burning part of the candle. i thought it was perfect. but apparently not!

it's okay. that was a GOOOOOD laugh. makes it worse when your mother starts takin stabs at ya.

YAY! i'm filling my ipod with nice, OLD songs. you know me and change. so i hadta hadta hadta keep my ipod old school. the newest additions?
**Lit:: a place under the sun
**Sugarcult:: Start Static
**Blink 182:: Enema of the State
**Az Yet :: Az Yet
**Aerosmith:: Big Ones

if you plan on riding in my car anytime soon... and would like to hear your music... or new music, at that... then send some music/cds/mp3s my way and i'll gladly add it under a folder marked "blablabla's request" no seriously. i'll do it.


January 15, 2006
did i ever tell you that i'm madly in love with John Cho? he's hot. he's funny. and hopefully he's at least a six footah. so... gameplan... move to Santa Monica, stalk him, and marry him. hahah! just jokes. no, seriously. i'll get him someday.

anyhoo... more on StarbucksSoulMate (whom we shall refer to from now on as SSM). so what do you know so far? just that he's tall, dark, skinny, and handsome. want more? okay. here's the skinny. he's a white boy that was born filipino. when i first met him, it was in english class of my sophomore year of high school. he had just broken up with his girlfriend at the time. i remember that he referred to her as "beautiful." that was the first time i ever heard one of my male peers refer to a girl that way with such sincerity. he had me right there. flash forward to junior year... we were both flirty back n forth, but nothing ever came out of it.

then came the long terms.and i only saw him periodically. just for hellos and how dee doos.

then this year, (including the latter portion of 2005) we just started seeing each other more often. accidentally. actually, it was more like every other week. at starbucks. it was never on a given day. or at a given time. it was always random. sometimes i was on a coffee break. sometimes it would be my day off. sometimes we just ran into each other right outside. in any case, it's always been random with him. but everytime i see him, i swoon a little. i likes, i likes.

but enough on that. so... this new and improved bit that i'm trying to pull... get ready to be proud of me! yay! hahaha. (period)

yesterday i filed my application for city college. (don't get on my case. i can't afford, nor do i have time for university right now) i'm only planning to take two classes, maybe just one. but we'll see what classes are offered. i'm undeclared for now.... but really... it just depends on the classes that are available. maybe a marketing class and anatomy. or business math and accounting. or anatomy and italian. at this point, i'll take what i can get. it also depends on what time the classes are. because we all know that mar needs to pay the bills.

part deux? i found out that my big sis recently was promoted and has taken over the Fenton Parkway Starbucks. so i think i'll ask her to hire me on as part time. at least i'll have something to fall back on once i lose my job. and for now... i could use the extra money to start saving up to move up to santa monica to start stalking John Cho. no, seriously. and at least... if i have a part time job, a full time job, and go to school, i'm thinking that it will cut my drinking and partying to the bare minimum. come on, folks. we all know that mar needs to stop.

part tres. my brother announced that he will be moving back to maryland in about a month or so. so i figger... if things don't work out the way i planned... i'll plan to move out east with him sometime in the fall. that way, i'll have some time to save up some money to be able to stand on my own two feet until i get a job out there. (but i'm thinking... if i move out east, i can always see if Estee Lauder has something for me out there).

sooo... with that said... let's see what happens, shall we? i know it seems like a lot.... but i used to do a lot more. back when i had more important things to do than party and hang out with my friends. and hopefully... this donut lookin mush around my waist will find its way out.


January 14, 2006
i still can't believe i went to PB two nights in a row. but that was HELLA good times. as you can see. hahahahaha.

in any case, i really think i'm handling this single-dom very very well. i've really started to learn how NOT to get lonely. aside from the not-so-drunk text to China on Friday night, i've been really good about just letting things slide. no boys required.

and it's been an adventure. one of my resolutions this year was to really learn how to be single. mar is not supposed to have a boyfriend this year. and yes, please try to hold me to that. you can cut and paste this if you want. just no boyfriends, please. and NO GETTING BACK TOGETHER!!!

for those of you who think this feeling is fleeting, you my friends, are wrong. i hold no torch for brian. i have no intention of getting back with him. everything we had was wonderful, but it's over now, and we broke up for a reason. reason being: we just can't be together at this point in our lives. now somewhere down the line... maybe. but as far as now and what's yet to come... no thanks. you hear me? NO THANKS!!!!! and yes, we are friends. i said it from the start of the breakup.... he knew me best, he knows me best, and to have a friend around like that is priceless. its good to know that our past doesnt interfere with our friendship. and that's ALL that it is... a FRIENDSHIP.

so did i tell you about Japanese yet? hot boy. friday nights. PB bar n grill. he has a corner of the club that he likes. he's hot. he knows it. and he loves to watch the girlies dance. i'm gettin him next time i go. and that's INTENT. so if you here about "Japanese"... know who i'm talking about.


January 14, 2006
post script. written in bed at 3:57am
OMG!!! Randomest night EVER. the plan was to go to PB bar n Grill to just DANCE and hopefully run into CheckGuy. Roll Call: Me, Ha, Gina and Jamillah. Drink Roll Call: 3 jager Redbulls, 2 washington apples, and a kamikaze. needless to say, Mar was sober for most of the night. but it didnt stop her from DAAAAAANCING!

it started off GREAT. PRIMO parking spot directly IN FRONT OF THE DOORS! the free line moved quickly, and eye-candy galore! there were enought people dancing... so we danced from most of the night. 4 marines decided to follow us aorund the whole night, one of which was permanently attached to Gina's hip (she later told me that he was jockn me at first, but since i was gave him the cold shoulder n was jockin Japanese all nigh, he kinda stuck to her)

so... if you saw our group, it just LOOKED weird. think.. skinny little white girl, "tall" asian girl dressed like a little white girl, foreign-exchange lookin little asian girl, and tall voluptuous white girl. i guess you'd have to see us dancing to really have fun with it. then we run into the cosmetics girls from Macys Fashion Valley and had a good ol time. which was just weird. because of the circumstance.

so the night ended, and afer a lot of dancing, a lot of brush offs, and a few drinks tossed back, we finally leave (only cuz HOTTESTBOUNCEREVER kept shoo-ing everyone out.) then one of the marines jump into my back seat and starts making out with Ha. ummm. okaaaaaay. Dennys it is, then. by the time we're seated, the marines are BELIGERENT. talking out of their asses, stealing food from the table next to us, and just being idiots. it was HILARIOUS!!! the night couldn't end like that... so i took them to Mar's Mobile Bar (aka the trunk of my car) for some shots of Henessey. and i SCORE!!! (no, pervert, not like that!) I made a marine BARF!!! woo hoo! i am still the master! (hahhaha instamar!)

the conversations that night were just absolutely fabulous. hilarious. drunk marines are good times. we finally end the night without exchanging numbers and we're off to our own little worlds.

random nights are FUN. good times for Friday the 13th with a full moon!

thank you Lord for keeping us out of harm's way.


January 13, 2006
post script. written in bed at 3:06am
WHOA! when did PB bar n grill start doing 2dolla you call its? i love buying a round for less than 10 buckaroos! but DAYAM! it was hella HK in there! i got to reunite with a bunch of BetaBros, bunches of ApsiRhoBrhos (including favorite twin alan). along with hella morse heads, and my starbucksSoulMate (more on his tall, dark, handsome, and skinny ass later). ay carumba!

that was good times. i love hangin out with my WhiteySisters (aka Iota Class). I missed you ladies! and ofcourse i never pass up a chance to oggle the HOTTESTBOUNCEREVER! i swear i'll hump that japanese fool one day.

all was well except for.... the cute boy i was dancing with was DIIRRRRTY. how sad, how sad. cute? CHECK. old enough? 24, cancer. CHECK. job? architect. CHECK. tall enough? CHECK. lives in sd? apt downtown. CHECK. rhythm? CHECK. we were havin a good ol time dancing... til he started sucking on my SWEATY ass neck! EWWWWWW! okay. that was just gross. if i had more alcohol in me (only had 4 so far) then i woulda been down to make out in the corner or something. but EW. not on the hot, sticky, humid ass dance floor with my neck all wet. So i walked away, found my very reliable, always drunk ex-bf Joe, and had good times with him.

p.s. Joe, i think you have a drinking problem. you should get some help. and maybe some help with your wardrobe too. cuz honey, gangsta chic is not hot.

anyhoo.. i should probably get some sleep now. i have work in 5 hours and i'm taking out my girls to oggle the HOTTESTBOUNCEREVER again tomorrow night... err... tonight. hopefully i'll find CHECKGUY! here's to hopin.

in any case, hopefully things will go well. Happy friday the 13th and full moon! watch out for all the crazies! just trust in God and you'll be fine. none of this superstitious bullshit. k. BE SAFE FOLKS!


1.10.06
post script. no one will let me use the computer
lately it seems as if i'm not one much for conversation. my friends have been left with silent gaps. now, granted, they're not awkward silences, but silence, at that. so i asked myself why this was happening.

is it because my life has just been dull as of late? i doubt it. i've been filling my time with friends and coworkers and good times. i always have a friend by my side for most hours of the day.

maybe its just been one particular friend that's hindering conversation. that friend's name? alcohol. it's become too much. i've overindulged myself. so now, it's either i've lost too many brain cells, or my friends think my alcohol stories have gotten out of control. frankly, i think it's the latter.

but am i going to quit drinking? probably not. control it? i'll sure try to. but i think the problem lies more in the question of "why am i drinking so much?"

first of all... i have nothing better to do. i only work 40 hours a week. i have no one to take care of. so i have a lot of free time. especially at night. my work schedule allows me to come in at later times, which means i can galavant and be stupid into the wee hours of the night.

secondly... i have no motivation. can someone PLEASE be my motivation? or at least give me someone... errr.. SOMETHING to do?

thirdly... the holidays didn't help. with favorite-alkie-slash-ambidextrious-in-training-slash-cripple-slash-favorite-"designateddriver"-friend being in town, the temptation to get drunk (not even just to drink) was always there. even on monday nights! hahahha! and for some odd reason, this holiday season, my mother and family actually encouraged the consumption of alcohol! so no help there.

but you know what i miss the most? having more important things to worry about. not just work and money. i miss midterms. research papers. i miss taking notes and learning new things. i miss having to time manage now. but these days, i just have to worry about double booking dates with people. UGH. this sucks. time to go see a counselor.

note to self: schedule meeting with Dennis and Machelle.


January 10, 2006
erik, i'm sorry about your wrist. that really sucks. i'll buy you sushi. oh holy crap! i just realized you can't drive you car either. boo for you! at least you have your drugs.

i booked my first bartending gig. whoop whoop! on the 28th, i'll be tending bar for my buddy Lucia's 21st birthday. it's a theme party. i'll have my own corner in the house. and i've given her a list of alcohol to buy. HOORAY FOR MAR! you should come. email me and i'll have you put on the list. hahha... YES... there IS a list!

yesterday rosa and i decided to try to find stuff for her apartment at ikea. one of her resolutions is to redecorate her apt and actually have some sort of design to it. so ofcourse, since i have nothing better to do... i offered my services (driving, design, etc). we picked out a few pieces and went back to her place to take measurements and try to figure out how to place everything in her teeny tiny studio. well... one thing led to another, and not soon after, we were drinking martinis and eating leftover cake. yeah. i'm such a fat cow. and we polished off a bottle of vodka, a bottle of apple pucker, and triple sec. she's not a big drinker. so i'm guessing that i did most of the chugging. but by the time i left, she was still pretty drunk.

can someone please find me an AA meeting?


January 9, 2006
post script. written at work
so friday, i was scheduled to work at 1:45in the afternoon. after a night of drinking, i've never really had a hard time to get up for work. but friday was a different story. i couldn't throw up the excess alcohol that was still in my system. my stomach was turning, my head was spinning, and i couldn't stand up for longer than 3 minutes without almost passing out. i sat in front of that damn toilet for over an hour, sticking my fingers down my throat trying to force the contents of my stomach out. but i couldn't do it.

i ended up calling out sick from work. my reason? alcohol poisoning. i was in bed for 24 hours. i actually had to wait out my liver and wait for everything to process through my system. that was NOT fun. especially when my mother took every opportunity to pop on my bed and lecture me about my life. and drinking. and partying. and how i'm wasting my youth on fun.

in any case, i got over it. and it was all worthit. i'm gonna have to cut my budget a little cuz of the missed day of work... but no big deal. i'll just brownbag for a week. =)

saturday night, the girls from work decided to go out. we met up at rosa's house to pre-party and to take some lewd pictures... mar tended bar, and we were all good n tipsy by the time we got to the gaslamp. (btw, i found street parking within a couple of minutes, hooray!) We ended up at Rox (on 5th n E)... and ya know what? NEVER AGAIN!

the music sucked. it was reggaeton and old school all night, the dj didn't know how to mix, and he played the entirety of every song. so needless to say, it wasn't all the fun dancing. the crowd consisted of a lot of FAT people. a lot of UGLY people. a lot of UGLY FAT people. a lot of OLD people. a lot of NASTY hoochies. and a lot of black people. and can i just tell you? there weren't THAT many people there. so yeah. the crowd sucked too. and since i was DD, i couldn't drown the crowd and the music in a lovely alcoholic daze. damnit.

the highlight of the night? getting back to rosa's apartment to talk shit and pig out on her empanadas. we stayed til 3am just talking shit. and shoving back a LOT of food.

so that was my weekend. how was yours?

ooh! more good news! my sissies are all back! hooray!


January 8, 2006
post script. no access to computer.
i really miss the act of holding hands. it's such a simple act, but so much can be said about the intimacy of it. maybe it's becasue of the excitement of something yet to come. holding hands is usually the first consentual contact, whether it be on the first date, or finally taking that first step into wherever your heart (or in some cases, your body or the alcohol) wants to take you.

within that one act, you can tell a variety of things. are there sweaty palms? did he/she just give your hand a firm squeeze to let you know that he/she is thinking of you? or to share a little secret? are your fingers intertwined? whose thumb is dominant? how strongly are you holding on? is he/she holding on? it seems all so insignificant, but it means so much!

holding hands is a sign of unity. the proximity of your bodies and the grip on each other shows the strength of the relationship, or lack thereof. the dominance of the hand-holders shows which partner is in control. who is dragging whom around? and is it casual, or is it more serious? you can tell a lot.

damn couples. stop parading your shit around. hahah. j/k. i'm just jealous.


January 6, 2006
post script... as hand written in bed
might as well go out with a bang, right? last night was erik's last night in SD. so ofcourse we had to do it up right... alkie style! hahahah. erik, my friend, you are awesome blossom. i'm gonna miss you.

but good times were had by all. here's a drink count (cuz we all know that the amount of fun had by all is directly proportional to the amount of alcohol consumed):
*jager & red bull (in the car! haha)
*AMF (hahahah! aka adios... so cal style)
*killer kool aid
*zombie
*jagerbomb (w/ keina)
*jager & red bull (halfed w/ erik)
*killer kool aid (halfed w/ erik)
*AMF
*jager & rockstar (at shane/shawn/shane/shawn's place)

geez! livers of steel! that's a lot of 151. and a lot of jager. holy crap. i'm surprised none of us ended up with alcohol poisoning.

among the fun-NER and fun-NIER times... drunk folks are always a hoot:::: we kicked asssss in trivia!
*a-phi-GEEEEEE! not a-phi-ohhhhhh! a-phi-GEEEEEEE!
*"erik, this is eric, erik, eric"
*getting yelled at by a neighbor because we were too loud out on shane's porch
*pretending shane's cat was my rabbit
*la posta!!
*7-11 adventure
*erik yelling at me not to drunk dial... and ended up leaving the yelling message on brian's voicemail
*"alpha, foxtrot, india?"
*DDR
*the coin game
*"you should get her out of school" "she's not IN school!" "you should get her out of school" "but she's not even in school!"
*"i shouldn't drink. i have to get up at 6am" -erik

now mind you, that was not in chronological order, and there are a lot of details missing, because frankly, i dont really remember the details. i just remember it was a lot of drunken fun! D&B's, la posta, and shane's house. very good times. and erik... your frat bros are fucking cool! but my sisters are better.


January 4, 2006
it's 2:29pm. it's afternoon. and it's sunny and BEAUTIFUL outside! oh i love san diego! but someone please tell me why i'm indoors on a day like this?

haha! I can tell you why. it's because i've finished my errands for the day! HOOORRAAAH for mar! (and for you ROTC geeks, that's intended to sound like 'hoo-raw', not ooh-ra). went to the bank to straighten out their mistakes, had my meeting with my HR manager, went to get my glasses re-fitted, did my walmart run, donated a bunch of stuff to the salvation army, finished up my dental stuff. yay me! damnit. but i forgot to pick up my drycleaning. that coat has been ready for the past 2 weeks already. =P oh well. it's not going anywhere. and i still have to find the little yellow slip. the only other thing on the to-do list is a "business meeting" i have with some folks i met at work. hopefully, this one isn't gonna be another stupid marketing/pyramid thing. i'm sick of that shit. i just want a REAL job. let's hope they offer me something steady. but i guess we'll see. wish me luck.

i really want to go to Da Kines. but everyone is either at work or still sleeping. grrr. i hate going there alone, especially the one in national city. they always give me funny looks like i'm some kind of fat freak that needs to get her spam fix. listen honey, just because you work in a grease factory and still manage to be a size zero, don't look at me like i'm some fat cow. i can whoop your ass because i'm twice your height. damn midget. maybe i'll just call in an order so i can be in and out. (ooh. maybe i can just go to in-n-out)

oh yeah! HOOOORRAAAAYYYYY!!! i have a new niece! Cow-sin Cindy (yeah, say that three times fast) gave birth to her third daughter yesterday. little baby Aurora. =) i'm excited! she shares her birthday with her uncle charles. great. another january baby.

so anyhoo... can someone please go buy the new yellowcard cd and let me know if it's good or not?

oh yeah. and as if january birthdays and christmas isn't enough of a financial burden, yesterday i took my car in for some basic maintenance. just the major service and to check up on my brakes. well my brakes needed to be replaced and the boots needed to be cleaned and blablablablablabla. bottom line, i just spent $486 on my car. damnit. so now i'm really really REALLY broke. cuz that wouldn't even fit on one of my credit cards. =( so out of savings it came. shit. oh well.

no use being negative, right? it's the new year, i've just purged/donated 3 trash bags full of clothes, i finished all my errands faster than anticipated, and i have my health, plans to party for the next coupla weekends (and next coupla nights), and my car is in good condition. no use dwelling. it just makes things worse. God is lookin out. so i'm good.


January 3, 2006
HAPPY BIRTHDAY COWSIN CHUCKS!!!!! Yay you're 23! hahahahah! welcome to the song age. =P ask me what that means later.

too many people were born in January. GEEZ. lotta horny folks in may! what's with May? did everyone give up sex for lent, so on Easter they all got buck wild and got fertilized? let's list them, shall we? KuyaSherwin, LittleBrotherRodel, Mother, CousinCharles, CousinClaire, NephewRicky, NieceAurora, khris, tonia, jeanelle, and anita and that's not including any sisters. just family and closer friends. yeesh. and right after the holidays too. damnit. sorry credit card, more power/debt to yah!

so erik n I decide that since we're alkies and all.. and since he's on vacation and doesn't have much time left in sd... that we should go to dave&busters. so we leave at around 10ish and took the 5freeway "shortcut" (no, not the I-5, 5freeways as in the 125-94-805-15-8). being the responsible drunk that i am, i double check for my drivers license as soon as we exit texas st. and.... OOPS! erik forgot his wallet. loser! hahhahahahah! so a U-turn, and 4 freeways later, we're back in his hood to pick up his shtuff. it's 10:30 (or in erik's world, 2230) and we're thinking, "it's okay... we still have a couple of hours to drink." another 4 freeways later we finally arrive to a nearly empty bar. everyone was eating. so we take a sitter, and finally get the fries we were hella craving on thursday night. and order the first round (ooh! interesting fact: drinks ordered at tables come form the main kitchen instead of the bar. and drinks from the kitchen are slightly more potent... take it from an alkie...) 11:30/2330 rols around and we're still eating.. and hear the announcement for LAST CALL!!!! what the hell?!?!?!?! it's only 1130!!! well. apparently, D&B closes at midnight on mondays-wednesdays. oooohhhhhh... that's why everyone goes on thursday night! hahahhahahaha! so after 3 failed rounds of trivia (how did we get LAST place all three times??!?) we manage to score 358 tickets on the coin machines, and call it a night. a very, EARLY night. damnit. so i guess you'll see us there on HK night... aka thursday-when-they-close-at-1am night! maybe with some special boba.

oh yeah... and HAPPY NEW YEAR! or as my priest told me to say... BLESSED YEAR AHEAD! hope veryone got home safely to their families and loved ones. (oh yeah! and that's ANOTHER justification for drinking on a monday night... i spent New Years with my fams, so i missed out on the drinking) mine was incredibly uneventful. and my first lesson of the new year? MAR AND CHAMPAGNE DO NOT MIX. aside from the barfing (via M&H's wedding), i found out champagne also makes me gassy and bloated. mar forgot that champagne is BUBBLY. whatever. it was the only alcohol there.

BTW, if you have the time, (and since you're reading this, you obviously do), start reading Joe Rogan's Blog. this guy is HILARIOUS! freakin funny as hell, i tell yah. aside from the REALLY LONG myspace posts, it's funny as hell. good times if you've got the time to kill.

GEEZ. i started this post at 5:53am. it's 6:20 (damn. it was 6:19, and it would have been cool if i posted that at 6:19, cuz i'm from the 619. then again, i could lie about it and SAY it's 6:19 and you'd never know. but i would know. and everytime i look back on this post, i would just call myself a liar. so it's not really worthit.) but i digress. point being: i should probably go to sleep now. i need to get up in a couple of hours to get my car serviced (i know, i know.... what a GIRL. i should just do it myself. but htere's just too much hazardous waste involved. my tranny, radiator, and brakes all have to be flushed). and i have a long day ahead. work, bank, denstit, walmart, drycleaners, salvation army, etc. (i'm lying. there's no etcetera). and i've been up since 4:30. so. nap time para mar. or i could just clean my bathroom.

ooh! and i have another resolution to add to the list: STOP SHOPPING SO MUCH! i need to limit myself to 3 articles of clothing per month. and purge the other half of my closet (you'd be proud. i got rid of 15 or so pairs of shoes this past year!) think it's do-able? no one else does. but i can DO IT! CHOOOO CHOOO!!!