March 31, 2002

WELL HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE! especially to those that are far from daygo at the time. =T
the trip to disneyland is ON! the only thing is, i need a RIDE partner! =( not so sure about kenny going. none of the other sisters can go. not so sure rhodawgs are a good idea too. eh. so so far, its me, secret twin, and big bro. booo. come on MARK! damnit. im tired of being 3rd wheel. I NEED A RIDE PARTNER! now accepting applications.
trying to forget emotions right now. trying to just suck it up and have a bombdiggity spring break. eep! oh geez. im feeling CONTENT FREE right now. ooh. exciting. i bet you're just ACHING for me to finish. yeah. well fine. here. happy?


March 30, 2002

okay, well TECHNICALLY, its already the 30th. but its really just an hour after i posted that last post. =P go figure. i have more shit running through my head. but this was a bad way to begin my post. i have REAL issues to deal with. so here i go.
there are always uncertainties in life. but there are a few things that are almost guaranteed. the sun will always rise in the morning. winter, spring, summer, and fall (except in san diego). but then... there are the subjective things in life. the ones that make us who we are. the ones that determine the kind of lives we lead. im not even sure where im headed with this.
i just know, that the biggest mistake a person can ever do is to deny themselves of what they know that they want. when you think about something to the point that you are willing to make a change of lifestyle for.. when you know you can sacrifice comfort for something that could become something more... when you find yourself ADJUSTING to someone because you want it so bad... but its a good adjusting, because the way in which you are changing is all for the better...and then... and then... and then.... i dont know. sometimes life just likes to kick you in the ass and tease the FUCK out of you. but you know what? you have to outsmart it. because just because you find out about something. just because something happens without you knowing it... just because you think its all over... its not. it cant be. because everything is a two way street. it CANT be the way it all seems. your gut instinct is RIGHT. you KNOW exactly what's going on. even though everything else points in a different direction. you're NOT CRAZY! there has to be some logical explanation for it all. you're not just fooling yourself. because it cant be real. what's happening cant possibly be WHATS REALLY GOING ON! its a two way street. what else can i say. vibes are a TWO WAY THING. its not just you. its calling out to you too. all you have to do is swallow your pride and stare it in the face. relax. think about it. analyze it. because there has to be a reason you feel so strongly about it. YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. i know you do. if the door is blocked two ways, then how do you expect anything to happen? if one door is closed and the other is WIDE OPEN, how do you expect to get that information? to get to the other side? it can only happen with two doors open. you cant hide behind facades. you cant hide what your heart is telling you. you cant deny yourself of something that you KNOW is SO RIGHT. all it takes is both doors to open. one to open up. the other needs to weed through all the confusion and just really get it out there.
...... but i have no right to say this. i dont even have the balls to do my part. especially cuz i already know what i have to do. imjust waiting for one door to open. ill open my door if you open yours.


March 29, 2002

i hate this. JUST when i think things are really going the way i think they're going, i get those subtle hints that things are only going the way i think they're going because i will for it to be that way. so i only see what i want to see. but i know that this is just another fat facade that i cant see through right now. wait.. that doesnt make sense.... i know that this is just a facade. its too fake to be true. i KNOW what's real. and this isnt reality. i KNOW it's not. it CANT be true. UGH. i dont know. i dont know i dont know i dont know. im confused.
hey SECRET TWIN::: haha. im gonna miss you so much! its gonna be WEIRD not coming by every tuesday n thursday. then food runs before PA on thursday night. its okay. WE'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND ON THURSDAY!!! YYEYEYEYEY!
ive been spending so much time with my sisters. its not even funny. but its been so much fun. i LOVE my sisters! and i LOVE my BIG BRO! but enough greek shit. let's get MOOOOOVING.
i finally got PAID today. which gives me an extra $200 for spring break. most likely ill be spending it at disneyland on thursday. i should really start saving up for my trip to DC this summer, but we'll see. we'll see. =P damnit. i should stop procrastinating. i need to start SAVING. maybe ill put twenty bucks in my savings. or not. oh well. whatever.


March 28, 2002

today was interesting. i was walking from class to the AphiG office and some random guy just started talking to me. dont get me wrong, it was pleasant conversation. none of this "hey lets hook up" kind of talk. but just strangers talking. which was pretty cool. then on my way to class from TODAIS (yey! i finally went!! woop woop) some lady asked me for directions, i couldnt explain how, so i told her i would walk her to aztec center. and we had some good conversation. it was nice. not weather. but nice. i liked it. it gave me this sense of community at sdsu. which is now better felt than before. and this semester, when i see people campaigning, or passing out random flyers, or barbeque-ing, i actually know who it is, and what they are doing it for. isnt it all GRAVY? (mmm. turkey) see what being ACTIVE does for you? awesome right? who says ignorance is bliss. to me... this is all good. woop woop.
oh and yes. pooh bear got off the ship today. (after a long 24 hours. =P) so we decided to hit up TODAIS. FINALLY! right? after all that time i was bitching about having some MAAADDDD sushi cravings, i finally got what i wanted. WOOOO! and i gave my big bro his present... shrimp chips and instant champurado... and he gave me some YAN-YAN!!! woop woop. damn i love how filipino he is. HI BIG BRO! so expect a new layout. cuz my raw fish cravin has been fulfilled.
JAN, i was MISPLACED.


3.27.02
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HORCHATA! i love you sis! but you're goin DOWN tomorrow night!
crap. im STILL supposed to be studying. but you know me. cram. cram. cram. i feel nauseaus. but God always helps me out anyway. he puts me to sleep when he knows im done studying. even when i think im not done studying, he puts me to bed anyway. then i freak out. then i take the exam and realize.... God was just looking out for me... so he put me to bed so that i could have some rest instead of doing some excessive, unnecessary studying.
im checking up on flight rates for my trip to DC this summer. i promised my biological big bro that i would visit him this summer before he left for korea. =( im finally checking CUZ I CAN AFFORD IT NOW! no more relying on credit cards for me. i guess that's why i havent quit yet. steady paycheck. ill be able to get my self outta debt in no time. maybe even pay off my student loan by next year. WOOP WOOP! but sorry jesse, your body kit n wide body have to go on the back burner for now. maybe ill get you a new interior. or recaros. or get your undercarriage all nice and spiffy. just gimme a coupla years... i have bills to pay.
im thinking of changing my emphasis. right now im emphasizing on behavior. as in personality. but ever since dr. kobus's class, im thinking of changing to physiological psych. its just cool. but i bet once i take another personality course, ill change my mind again. but whatever. we'll see what happens when i graduate. at least im FINALLY set on a major. no more of this "oh, im an art/ mechanical engineering/ english/ business management major. aka UNDECIDED!" now im a true blue PSYCH major! YIPEE! but not sure on emphasis yet. eep.
geez. i act like you care. uh hur hur.

March 27, 2002

wait. i cant frickin believe it's almost the end of MARch. which will bring us to the almost 3rd birthday of 52GoVroom.com not government room. Go VROOM. as in... nevermind. like you CARE anyway.
so mark... sorry to hear about your accident. i think ill bring you a care package next time i see you. hey man.. just remember... ive been there, done that. so if you wanna talk, you know my number. you probably DONT wanna talk about it and just bottle it up inside until it corrodes you from the inside out... but hey. just so you know.. im here for you babe. ALWAYS! even during that looooong ass gap that we didnt talk or chills or anything. but that's all in the past right? I EXPECT A CALL EVERYDAY! hah. yeah right. no. i just wanna make you smile. COME ON! smile for me!
okay. its almost time for work. i should probably leave soon. =P eep


March 26, 2002

for lack of better content, i think ill say a little something about last night. NOT. haha. what the hell do you expect me to be? wait. im in the sdsu computer lab right now. so i was looking through the geocities sites that people have previously viewed from this computer. only one. it turned out to be some wacko ass asian dude's blogger. well at least i think he was asian. maybe he wasnt. i dont know. whatever. but every other word out of his mouth was fuck. literally. it was like... okay. what the FUCK? that was just unneccessary cussing. i dont know. it was dumb. he's in the army reserves and he just got called out for active duty. (i bet you're wondering... if his blogger was so dumb, then why did you keep reading? you obviously did because you're sitting there telling us about it.... shut up. i had to read at least SOME of it right? cuz you know... if i didnt... that would just be judging by the cover/first post i see. and that wouldnt be fair now, would it? YEAH. i thought not. so shut up.
shouldnt i be studying right now? my exam is in 45 minutes. and i still need to go vote. A.S. elections this week. and i promised Mark and James i would call. =P guess im not gonna study that hard after all. yeow well. wish me luck anyway. =)


3.25.02
needless to say, i did NOT enjoy work today. another tireless day filled with tasks and whining. ugh. i need to quit. or something. but im making good money as is. its an easy job. and i dont have a big fat problem with the ethics... most of it anyway. ive been scanning the Tribune's classifieds. managed to find a lot of decent places to live for under $400 per month... that is... if my sisters would like to live wif me. eep! oh no. wait. i dont wanna leave home yet. its so comfy here. but we'll see. and there are NO jobs out there right now that i qualify for. sucks. but oh well. what can you do. just wait and see i guess. i think ill wait until i have my finances straight before i go venture outon my own. and i need to help out my parents too. they deserve it.
i have a psych 260 quiz tomorrow night. and a poli sci exam in the afternoon. and AphiG has another fundraiser. which means i cant study tomorrow. which means i have to get some studying done tonight. which means i really shouldnt be on the computer right now because i have a meeting tonight that will inevitably get me home at a wee hour of the night. crap. i guess... bleh. whatever. we'll see. as always.. ill be posting results. bleep!

March 25, 2002

spring break is creepin my way. i dont know what im gonna do!?!?!! and i frickin hope i get a WEEKEND off soon. cuz technically, im "guaranteed" a weekend off per month. but that's not gonna happen with all the drama that's going on at work. so here goes... its a looong, boring story... but this shit... this shit is what creeps up my ass everytime i show up at work and crawls around so that i squirm and squiggle and just want to cutout my insides so that the pain will go away. you dont have to read the following. as a matter of fact, consider it even MORE pointless blabbering that you would rather not see. but you know what? i have to voice my opinion. im tired of just sitting there absorbing shit and then not saying anything about it. well. i digress. i should probably start my story now. should i post a link or something before i start? so that you have something to click on to distract you? nah. you'll probably read it anyway. loser.
:::okay. so you probably dont know who the hell the following people are. but oh well. you might be able to follow after a while. so Greg is my old store manager. i opened the store with him and a few others. it was me, greg, ivette, kat, gavin, jamie, deanna, and some others... but they dont relate to this little story. we were one big happy family. greg was our manager. he kept us happy. he kept his bosses happy. everything ran smoothly. then came the news that the horton plaza store would soon open. for the most part, we were all thrilled. so came two new assistant managers: Mark and Lisa. kenny was hired at around the same time. well everything was fine... except that everyone had issues with Lisa. she had NO kind of people skills. she got the job handed to her on a silver platter because her old friend is a district manager in another area. BS i tell you. BS. well after a while, she moved her ass to horton plaza, and the parkway plaza store was all good and peachy. i got promoted to lead cashier. and jason d., jason a., and ryan were hired at around the same time. everything was all good. AND THEN (dramatic music).... a manager at another store quit. so the company had to play musical chairs with managers to get positions filled. greg took over the carlsbad store... and so ends the peace at parkway plaza. lisa took over... and from then. THE HORROR! THE HORROR! to make a long story short... or at least bearable.... ever since she took over, 6 employees have turned in their resignation letters, and 3 others are on the verge of. can i just tell you that there are only 9 employees at the store, and 3 management? that totals 12 employees. which gives her 3 employees in about a month. good job. mark is gone. he couldnt stand her. he was only an assistant manager, and she made him do EVERYTHING. and she took the credit for everything that he did. mark is also gay. and she always made fun of him for that. jason d. was promised a promotion in november. one he never got. and one she never told our district managers about. but everyone else outside of her wanted him to be promoted. even greg. everything was voiced to our district manager. and you know what she said? "well, we'll see in 6 months." keep in mind that he was PROMISED this promotion in november. and at this point, greg has been trying to get an offer for him. lisa did jack shit. jamie's story is complicated. but let's just say she got super screwed. ryan just was misunderstood. i didnt have a problem with him. neither did anyone else. he was a good task person. but she didnt see that. she didnt care. whatever. kat is an awesome girl. but... driven away because of the environment in the store. same with kenny. same with deanna. same with me. same with gavin. this is all BS. we used to love coming to work. it had a certain energy. a vibe that just screamed "I LOVE BEING HERE!" it wasnt work. it was a get together with friends to finish a few tasks. and now... its just work. work work work. this is all bs.
the short version sounds dumb. but if you had to live through all of it, then you would be as bitter as i am. but i need a damn job. one that will pay me a decent wage. i got bills up the ass. bleh.


March 24, 2002

for 3 WHOLE days i lied in bed (er... on couch) with my momma's blanket wrapped around my body. KNOCKED OUT. couldnt move. couldnt breathe. i was this heaping lump of heat. and what did i do? well isnt it obvious? nothing. DUR. then friday night came around and i had to go to work. so worked. and my fever just magically vanished. i dont know what the hell that was all about. but i still felt like a bag of mucus. then i come in to work on saturday morning and I CAN SPEAK! i felt great. i dont know what the hell that was about either. i guess my immune system refuses to work unless my body is physically working too. so just cuz i was layin my ass down for 3 days, then my immune system decided "hey. her fat ass isnt being productive. why the hell should i?" it was like that in high school too. the more i PT-ed with first year CG, the lower my fever got. the more i practiced, the less my mucus built up. the more homework i did, .... well that kept me feverish. but whatever. you get my point. my body is retarded. i told you about the weightloss to work out ratio? that's all screwy too.
so this is catch-up week. (yet again) before i start SPRING BREAK!!!!! WHOOP WHOOP! damn. i have grippa exams before i start spring break. n a couple right after i come back. so you know imma study my ass off during break. but hopefully ill clock in some more pooh bear time before then. eep. we'll see. i need to shop. desperately. eep!


March 20, 2002

well. its past midnight. i consider it tuesday night. but technically, it's already wednesday. hey. guess what i got on my philosophy exam.... B+!!!!! YEY! considering that i didnt have time to read the text. and played text tag with mark during lectures. or slept through it all. i think i did good... under the circumstances. i coulda rocked that essay if i actually read the text. whoops. well. we'll see... when? ...in the end... haha. super lame there. but there have been a lot of songs haunting me lately.
okay. first of all... IM FINE. there's some shit going on, but you know me. i can handle myself. i might have my breakdowns, but.... im cool. dont worry about me because i can hack anything life will chuck at me. cuz im strong. im colorguard. im AphiG. i am supermar. hear me roar. *meow*


March 19, 2002

this is killing me inside not being able to tell anyone. there's so much going on, but i cant speak a word about it. im not even supposed to know. im not supposed to worry. but i cant help it because i care so much. i cant stop crying because i know that at any given moment, my life could just shatter. i cant stop thinking that tomorrow when i wake up, my life will never be the same. i just cant stop crying inside. jan... i know i kinda told you. and i trust that you wont say a word. not to my big bro. not to any of our sisters. no one. please jan. dont say a word.
but i still have a lot bottled up inside. i want to tell my sisters. it makes it worse to see them care so much and not know a thing. i know how it feels to see a loved one suffering and not being able to do a thing about it. because words cant reassure me about anything. words can only distract me. but its not enough. this fucking sucks. i wish i could just deal with it in my normal way. but i cant. this is something ive never had to deal with before. shit. God. please give me the strength to deal with this. please take care of him. please dont take him away. please. all i can do is beg and pray. but it can only do so much.


March 15, 2002

relationships are hard. what else can i say? sometimes you have to work a little harder. sometimes you have to make some compromises. but nothing can ever replace what you feel in your heart. i know it sounds super cheesy, especially corny, and any other food that can describe it... but you just have to learn how to trust your heart and listen to your mind. they work together. you know what you want. but sometimes that sense of security... or lack of security you feel for a future relationship can cloud your judgment. and that's where everybody gets stuck. just stop questioning it and go with what your heart is telling you. despite everything that you've been through. despite all the possible dilemmas that you can see yourself facing because of the choice that you know you should make. you already know what you want. and now you're just waiting for the other person to make the move. but if you feel that strongly about that person, dont you think the vibes had to come from somewhere? most likely they feel the same way. especially if you put yourself in the position that just makes you so confused you want to cry your eyes out and just forget it all. but you know you dont want to forget. because you care too much. and it's not that brotherly/sisterly care that you feel... you genuinely care about that person. so just face what you have to do. just dont overanalyze. care enough... but ... well... i dont know. it also depends on the other person. dont forget that a relationship functions on two peoples' emotions.


March 14, 2002

it's someone's bday today. i think it's sheena's. but im not so sure. eep!
im at school doing this. cuz imma have a helluva busy day. i just got out of my psych 230 test review. for the most part i think ill do fine. im not exactly sure, but hey... we'll see in the end right?
im all confused again. ugh. class starts in 10 minutes, so i cant exactly say much. all i know is that... well basically... i dont know. and steph made me buy a new sdsu sweater today cuz it looks damn good on me. ill take a pic of it later. bah. the new-clothes fumes are getting to my head. but shit. remember how i wasnt supposed to shop for lent? well at least i only had a little bit of candy and NO red bull! yippeee! oh yeah. i gotta change jan's link.


this.is.how.i.feel.right.now.


3.13.02.its.been.a.long.day
so this is my lame attempt at change. yet again. but at least this one should keep me from gauging my eyes out until the next stage of boredom. well it is a little ugly. but still. this is my homage to sushi. and since i've been craving it since the beginning of rush... and by the way still HAVE not gotten any... i figger, this is appropriate.
9 hours of work today. my DM came. new and old. my manager cried. its been very interesting. 3 shots of espresso downed within a couple of minutes helped me keep my sanity. and thank God i didnt have to deal with crazies today. tomorrow will be much more productive. i promise.


March 13, 2002

i finally reformatted my archives. by month. good grief that took forever. ugh. im tired. my big bro reggie even went to bed before me. and he's super nocturnal. eep! i should get some rest. i have a long day ahead of me. and i had a long day today. and thursday will be pretty long. so will friday. and saturday. and sunday. and monday. and tuesday. and wednesday. and so on. and so on. and so on. working super full time SUCKS! oh my god! i know ive worked a lot in the past.. but it wasnt this physical. holy monkey. i need some rest. UGHHHHH!
but hey guess what... I GOT A 97 ON MY PHYSIO PSYCH EXAM!!!!! oh wow. now im thinking of having an emphasis in physio psych instead of behavioral. eep!


March 12, 2002

look at me. missed class again. fack. someone PLEASE keep me in check.
i was talking to james last night. then he went to go take out his contacts and brush his teeth. i dont remember much after that. but i woke up with 1:32:01 on my phone. and i know i wasnt talking to him for that long. so im guessing i had one of my late night babbles again last night. faaaack. the sad part is that i dont remember. and knowing james, he's not gonna tell me what i said. only .... nm... stupid james. (see james? are you happy that you're back in my posts again? cuz i know you were jealous that i have another TWIN!!! EEP!)
im trying to do homework, but i signed on. and now im just brain dead. im supposed to meet up with edwin in a couple of hours for breakfast and then go watch some video he made. (details on what kind of video later) then big bro reggie is comin from san marcos n i think i owe him hot chocolate.
eep! now that im finally back online, and starting to get used to the AIM bombs that i frequently receive at night, i think ill be gettin less sleep n more online time. sorry guys for all yalls that im me and ask what im doing... always answered with the reply "talkin to my big bro." just dont ask. just ASS U ME that im already talkin to big bro n carry on with normal conversation. or just talk. or whatever. nm. its early. im tired. and i have homework to do. and these people are gettin bugged that im using the precious RBR computer to do random crap. cuz i know everyone has term papers due this week. toooooo bad! cuz its an easy week foe meeeh! eep!


March 11, 2002

hey. in 3 months, me n the pooh bear will be hittin 4 year status. how cool is that. by the way he called me today. from the ship. 50 miles off the coast of wherever camp pendleton is. he's comin back on saturday morning. so ofcourse im working. but after i get off work... its all OUR time (til Beta formals at 10).
chilled wif the big bro again today. with my champurado. and my birthday book. then meeting. and that meeting had to be the longest, most excuciating meeting ive been through in the longest of time. its like.. UGH. i dont know. just whatever. i was just not feelin girls today.
hey my car is CLEAN!!!!! washed it. no wax... but damn. i was on my knees for a couple of hours polishin my oil caked wheels. n my dirty ass tires. and all that bird crap from the parking structure. i even bought cleaning goodies! i got this squeegee specially designed for squeegeeing the car body... so it doesnt scratch the paint or the clear coat. got me some foaming tire cleaner. some foaming wheel degreaser. some armor all wipes for the interior. a berry air freshener. now alls i gotta do is give that baby a wax down, a nice vacuuming, and a febreeze soak... hot damn. my baby will be all squeaky clean. *SNIIIIIFFFF* ahhhh. smell that freshness? that's my bebe. his name is adam. eep!


March 10, 2002

okay. i give up. i just dont wanna deal with it anymore. i hate it when you give people a chance and they just turn their back on you. they act like they're the only one at risk. whatever. im so over all of this. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i tried. you know i tried. but when someone gives up on you, theres not much you can do. especially when you were at greater risk. especially when you put more out on the line than they did. UGH! im so fucking TIRED OF IT!


3.9.02.almost.midnight
this was in james' profile :::
nabee82 (7:22:40 PM): i looove the way turbos sound
oh my goodness.. WHERE DO I FIND ANOTHER GIRL LIKE THAT! lol ;-)
apparently he forgot someone very special... namely.. ME! hello. bought a turbo for the car remember? and not just some superlame turbo... a Greddy TD05! fucking snail as big as my head. and not JUST the snail.. the whole damn kit. with a superloud HKS blow off. and two years later, the BIG Greddy intercooler. damnit. can i get some recognition here? bah. that's prolly just his way of flirting with that chick. grumble grumble. but im still bitter.
N'Sync's "girlfriend" and P. Diddy's "I need a girl" is really speakin to me. iono what it is. maybe cuz i heard P. Diddy at my cousin's wedding... and its just really getting to me. or maybe cuz of everything that's been happening lately (refer to beyond maRfiles for details). but i keep hearing both songs. this morning i heard them back to back... so you can probably guess why i had such a good morning. but even though both songs are typpie-style... im sooooo feelin it.
how funky is your chicken? who funky is your chicken? how loose is your goose? how loose is your goose? so come on all you hawk fans, so come on all you hawk fans, and shake your caboose. and shake your caboose. im watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer... THE MOVIE! on VH1. i love this movie. valley girls, like, totally kick some butt!


3.9.02.super.screw.up
i screwed up big time today at work. but WHO CARES! cuz im on top of the world today! and you know why? aww hell. I dont even know why. i just woke up incredibly happy today. the weather was beautiful. oh wow. *BIG HUGE SIGH* i loved today. if i could feel like that EVERYDAY... hot damn.
everyone is out tonight. i think ill take another night home. cuz that's what made today incredible.. REST! woop woop!
and can i just tell you? that ever since i embeded "a whole new world" on my front page, i CANNOT leave my page? because Aladdin is an awesome movie. and "a whole new world" is an awesome song. and damnit... bleh. i just love it. so shut up.

March 9, 2002
(A MIDI player should appear here if you have the plug-in)

I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, *****, now when did
You last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you

Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky

A whole new world
Don't you dare close your eyes
A hundred thousand things to see
Hold your breath - it gets better
I'm like a shooting star
I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be

A whole new world
Every turn a surprise
With new horizons to pursue
Every moment red-letter
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me



3.8.02
everyone is at the sigma formals right now. i wish i could be there. but i like being able to rest. which reminds me... i should be napping right now. eep.

March 8, 2002

okay well. so im supposed to be sleeping right now. because of the lack of sleep lately. the internet really doesnt belong in my room. its a distraction that i really dont need right now. but bleh. at least it keeps me in touch wif my favorite big bro (and my only big bro!!! hi reggie!) and my ... okay... well i just like it cuz i can post now. WOOP WOOP! i know you're excited too. WOOOOOOOOO!
hey i got a DVD player today. i cut out of AOL and signed up with earthlink. and to thank me, they sent me a free DVD player! WOW! i received it today via UPS. had a nice little present waiting for me when i got home from work. its niiiiiice. well i think its nice. know why? cuz it's FREEEEE! its a samsung. so it should be find for a while. WOW!
okay. so i might be posting in beyondmaRfiles tonight. something is just really bugging me. or maybe ill just blogspot it. but bleh. whatever. its just really hard right now... to take care of everything. to sort everything out. even though everything is put together well on the outside, its all screwy on the inside. ack. my tummy has been hurting for the past week. i know what it is. but i dont know how to fix it.
been chillins a LOT lately wif big bro reggie n closest sis jan. FUN! shopping, boba, chillins! FUN FUN FUN! its been so fun lately. spending time wif greeks. cuz we accidentally had dinner wif some APsiRho dogs n betas n PAPhi n PsiChi guys at souplantation last night. damn. that was fun. its weird not having to check in and planning all my free time with my pooh bear. ever since he's been on the ship, ive spent so much time wif my sisters n frat guys n mark. its been a long time since ive had a chance to do that. i love it. but i love pooh bear more. but its nice to have some sort of freedom every once in a while.
i digress. more in beyondmaRfiles.


March 6, 2002

okay. well this is an excerpt from my blogger. but blogger isnt letting me post. so screw that. here it is.
geoshities isnt letting me edit my front page again. damnit. what the hell? i should really transfer outta there, but that would mean re-uploading all this shit from forever ago. and having to find another server. a hella good one. for free. eek. and something easy. bleh. whatever. i think ill just make blogspot my forever .com. .com? who does that anymore?
but blogger wont post my archives. i have to reload them everyday or something. weakness.
i miss my pooh bear. he's out to sea. he's only gonna be gone for a coupla weeks, but still. i cant talk to him. i cant write to him. i cant do anything. so its depressing. being apart hurts. cuz i miss him so much.
on the up side, ive had more time with my sisters, my big bro, and buddy mark. its been fun so far. at least it's keeping me occupied until i get home. and start missing pooh again.
bleh. i have a physiopsych exam and a philosophy exam. and a poli sci 320 assignment due. crapola. and im ONLINE? geez. talk about addicted.
so anyway, im sitting here talking to my big bro and my APsiRho twin. just conversing. the AIM traffic has gone down since i started being on permanent away message. i think after a while, people get the hint. but oh well. im still waiting for a coupla people to sign on. well... one in particular. we'll see.
me n mark went out for boba. and i saw him dance. and i made him late to work. and kinda was responsible for him missing class this morning. WHOOOPS! ill make it up to you somehow. sorry duuuude. hopefully my stalking expedition kinda helped show how sorry i am.
and you know what? you KNOW you're getting old when you know all the songs on the "Monsta JamZ" CD... aka 90s black music. eek. *poot* damn. check that out. im dust.


i.forgot.this.pic.


3.5.02.well.its.almost.midnight.
so like i was saying. i got my internet to work. earthlink. it was the only one that my computer likes. and for hell no im not about to shell out a couple grand for a new computer. i still need to save up for the wide body. eek. thats gonna hurt. oh. and yes. i received my phone via INSURANCE! boo yeah.
AIM is hella hurting me right now. i cant keep up with the IMs like i used to. everyone just misses me online late at night. only having school computers SUCKS big time. but you've already heard all that bitching and moaning. oh yeah. i have to write about red white and blue. eek. bleh. whatever. ugh. that's a whole nother blog. maybe ill just blogspot it or something.

March 5, 2002

well i have class in 10 minutes. well actually, i should go. exam. no study. but have to post. eek. internet works at my house. 56k sucks nuts. taking mark out on wednesday night. got promoted. RAISE! woop woop. pooh bear is on the ship for 3 weeks. no phone calls. no letters. only email. occassionally. boooo. cried and cried. bah. hmm. what else. james works at parkway now. at oscars. HOOK IT UP! almost got pulled over today pickin up my big sis. EEK! tap is cool. GOD. please dont let me turn into an airhead. i havent been to class in a week. shit. here goes the mid-semester fuck ups again. somebody save me from myself.