March 29, 2007
yes, we are officially engaged. OFFICIALLY this time. yes, the ring is coming. Yes, we're really serious this time. We even have the paperwork in the works. (aka we have a marriage license in the state of Arizona)

It's terrifying. It's exciting. it's every feeling under the sun. and then some. But there are no more doubts lingering like there were before. You would be very surprised how thin the line is between "ready" and "not ready." As corny and cliche as it may sound... when you know, you KNOW. and this is it for me. HE'S it for me.

yesterday a friend of ours brought up how different he is from everyone else i've dated. Maybe that's why. maybe his differences is the reason that i'm finally able to do the things i do, and think the way i do. and FEEL the things i feel. He's the one that finally opened my eyes to everything that i've been so naive and so sheltered from. because really.. he's nothing like the person i would ever have imagined myself with. On a normal basis... it sounds like a bad thing. But you have no idea how great it has been. okay... maybe you have a pretty good idea.... but you know what i'm getting at.

i was talking to my soon-to-be-sister-in-law about it... about how scary it is to really be growing up. and how all of this just came like a hurricane. but she sees it. and it's awesome.

there are still a lot of people that are skeptical. my parents included. but to those naysayers, you can tell me as many times as you want that i'm making a big mistake. and wait for us to fall apart. and you're completely entitled to your opinion. because at this point, we've learned not to listen to all the negativity. there are actually some people that are happy for us. there are actually people that, instead of wishing our relationship doom, are wishing us a happy life together. and it feels good to have friends that are so supportive. because succeed or fail, it's those people that will always be supportive because they know in their hearts that the only thing we're trying to do is be happy.

yeah. still a bitter after-taste of what a few people have had to say about it. but i'm over it. i'm getting MARRIED! and nothing can trump that feeling right now.


March 12, 2007
so if you were wondering... here's what went down... we couldn't get the dads to come.. but both of our mothers were there. and they basically told us not to do it. that they would not approve. or give their blessing. my mom outright told me "No." with the ultimatum of get married or she'll lock me up in my room forever. i told her i was leaving anyway. she told me that my dad would disown me (in a nutshell). My dad doesn't know yet. we're all afraid to tell him. not so much for our sake, but for his (he's not all that healthy, or open-minded). His dad doesn't know either, but already thinks of us as married (per Hmong tradition).

but for those who cared enough to give me moral support, i do appreciate it. i just wish it didn't go as sour as it did.

although... the moms did bring up an interesting query... if we're planning to live our lives together, why not just get married NOW?! so that all of this cultural stuff would just be pushed aside and we could have everyone's blessing. but to that... i just want to be married on our own terms, and not someone else's.

but it did spark the marriage conversation. and we looked into it. and for all you know, we could be married before summer comes around. it's actually something that we've taken into serious consideration. not just because i'm moving out there and we want our parents' blessing, but also because it would make sense to just really start getting things together. we don't need a ceremony. we've talked about eloping. so why not?

in the end... if this really happens, you'll be reading about a married girl come may. or maybe even sooner.

Crazy, huh?!?! I think so too. but i love him. and we've planned for it in the future. this just is a turbo boost into it.


March 6, 2007
talk about a random day. i'm kind of excited. and i'm kind of bummed. and i'm a lot of things all at once. SO... *does the head bobble thaaaaang* let me teeeeeeeellll you! about what's happened today.

so my day started bright and early at 4 am after a revitalizing 3 hour nap (after my 12 hour work day the day before). and to a dirty store, a wrong shipment, a stressed out barista, a sick barista, and a broken register. then i had a call-out, missing stock, and a trainee. well.. in a nutshell... work was a little frustrating.

so on my way home from work, i was really tired and i didn't get into the right lane on time.... i tried to merge, but this asshole wouldn't let me. so i decided to just get on a different freeway, and to double back. well... i get on the 94 and decide, "well... as long as im headed in this direction, i might as well go to Petco and get tickets for opening Sunday. cheaper and i'll get to choose my seats." so i go. and i wait in line... and i jokingly ask if they have any Opening Day tickets (it's been sold out for a good week or so). and WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?!?!? the people right in front of me just turned in TWO TICKETS! so ofcourse i swooped them up, along with my sunday game tickets, and skipped along my merry way!

i wish i could describe how ecstatic i am about these tickets, but i really can't. it's just amazing. and now.... i just had a very unreasonable guest check in. which has soured my mood a bit... but working with fun people helps to alleviate the stress. and knowing that when i get home to crash, it will be for a good 12 hours or more... it's a good feeling.

so good night folks. i'll be away from a computer for the next few days. wish me luck for saturday! (thanks jenn, for the little pep talk!)


03.05.07
dear erik,
yes, we dinner quite frequently. we also lunch quite frequently. and phone frequently. and coffee frequently. and yeah. i dont know. i mentioned your little addiction/fatal flaw about falling for girls with boyfriends, and he commented. yeah. see post below, i suppose.


March 5, 2007
I've always known that Brian and I would grow old together. This past year, it's become clear in what way. Back then, I thought that we would always be together, and bla bla bla, the kids, the house, the big backyard for all the dogs... or along those lines anyway. These days.... i still believe that we're gonna grow old together. Not necessarily as a couple... but as friends.

Because I could never picture my life without him. Without the friend that I know i can always count on to have lunch with. Or to go on a random trip with. Or to have an extra ticket to a ball game. Or just to shoot the shit with. It's always been hard to keep my distance and not to talk to him. It sucks. I feel like poo when i can't talk to him. He's the only one that really listens and understands and really GETS IT and cares and actually keeps track of the people i meet. Because he's the exact same way.

It just sucks that I know that because he will always be in my life... that it will inevitably cause problems in his future relationships and in my relationship. It SHOULDN'T cause problems... because what we have is platonic.... but ofcourse it WILL always come up as an issue.

i guess we'll just see how it pans out later on. He's been the best friend that's come in to my life. The one that really really REALLY gets me. I kinda wish it worked out between the two of us... but really... it is working out. (if that makes any sense at all)


March 4, 2007
doubt he'll ever read this... But happy 25th Bday Mark. Hope all is well in your life.

Countdown until my parents find out. I've been pretty sick for the past few days... That, along with my work load and work stress has made it difficult to prep my mom about what's going down this weekend. It's a huge deal. Traditional parents + only girl in the family + moving = .... actually... i'm not too sure. i just hope that the outcome is fine. Here's to hopin for the best. Ideally... they'll support us on our venture out into the world. Let's just hope.

i've got another thing to vent about... but we'll save that for another day.