March 28, 2008
wow. didn't even realize how fast this year has gone by already! yeesh!
anyhoo... ever since my discovery of Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat, Lost Coast Downtown Brown, and Pyramid Apricot Ale... my body has just not been the same. I have a giant, protruding, beer belly. and it's just absolutely NOT acceptable. So about 2 weeks ago, i started to be more diligent about exercising. I've been pretty consistent. and the way my body USED to be.... i could easily shed 5 pounds within a matter of days. yeah. not the case this time around. THIS time around.... i haven't seen any results. the only thing i can remotely see is that i have a teeny bit more strength. mind you, not ENDURANCE... which is what i'm shooting for... just strength. and i'm not looking to build muscle. but i don't want to just stick to cardio either. i'm losing a battle here.
so i finally sucked it up and did some research on how to target this horrible monstrosity around my waist. and here are my options:
1) cut out alcohol consumption for a MONTH and exercise 3 times a week for at least 30 minutes. we all know that i wont be able to cut out alcohol for a MONTH during baseball season. especially when i have the 10year anniversary coming up. SHEESH!
2) minimize alcohol intake and exercise daily, monitor caloric intake, and stop bingeing. THIS i know i can do. it will be TOUGH, but it will surely work.
so here's the goal. i would ideally like to lose my belly by the end of april. my mid-point being the 15th. where i would like to no longer be embarrassed to wear my regular-fitting t-shirts and clothes. so that by the time the end of april comes around, i'm at my normal (albeit chubby) physique. but i'll take chubby over fat.
now if you'll excuse me, i need to find some liquor. =)
March 23, 2008
HAPPY EASTER!!!! hope everyone enjoys their easter egg hunting and celebrations with family. =) i miss mine.
the good news is::: that i now have even better motivation never to smoke ever again. i've always been okay with the nasty skin and the dry, itcy feeling the morning after a smoke-fest. and the coughing and phlegm was never really deterrent enough to not have that cigarette. but for the past two days i've had the biggest, nastiest, most painful canker sore i've ever had in my entire life. it hurts so bad and the right side of my face is swollen. it looks like i'm hiding acorns in my cheek. all because i had a couple of menthols the other night during my buddy's birthday dinner. (hey. she turned 25. everyone else in the party was under 22. so you can understand my pain)
so yes. i am absolutely convinced that this sore is a direct effect of my smoking. so remind me about this later.
what else happened? OH YEAH. an acquaintance called me a bitch today. to my best friend's face. WHY!??!?! i don't understand. we saw each other a whopping 3 times and i've never had anything to do with her. but she's a tad needy, so maybe it's cuz i didn't stroke her ego or give her attention. i dunno. crazy people are crazy.
March 20, 2008
opening day is less than 2 weeks away! i'm so excited i'm gonna poop myself. no, not really. but i can't believe we'll be home for longer than 2 days! HOOORAAAAY! so we leave AZ around 5ish. just in time for the sun to be in my eyes for a good 3 hours on the way home. ETA 10pm (traffic, road conditions, coffee breaks, etc.) then a WHOLE SUNDAY at home. to chill. watch the Angels game. and hang out with mommy. Monday is reserved for BASEBALL and all baseball related things. as of now, i'm planning my entire day around Brian's schedule. he will by my schauffer just like i was whilst he was here. then tuesday morning, we're up an at em. cuz i have work at 2pm and Pane has work at 1pm. WOOO HOOO!!!! but i'm excited. BASEBALL SEASON IS HERE!!!!!
anyhoo... i've been trying to not be as fat as i have been. with the soda cut out of my "diet" because of lent, i haven't really been losing much of anything. BUUUUUT i have been working out. if you've never been up at 3am and have never seen the informercial for the P90X workout series, i suggest you check it out. it's pretty intense. i haven't been not sore in almost a week now. sheesh! i knew i was out of shape... but jeeeeeeeez!!!! i feel like the 2-ton man!
in any case... easter is almost here! and i still haven't found a parish to celebrate the mass. i should probably get on that. i've done really well this lenten season. i only succumbed twice in each category:: drank hard liquor twice. drank soda twice. ate meat on 2 fridays. which... considering the circumstances, i've done relatively well in comparison to previous seasons. YAY for maturity, right?
time to go back to work! i hate thursdays. i start at 4 am and it usually doesn't end until 9pm. WOO for salary, eh?
March 18, 2008
My manager came back today. and i feel like a HUUUUUUGE weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I finally feel like i have my support system back. I joke about how i run the store. How everyone turns to me for decisions and for answers. But when it comes down to it.... i don't think i'm quite as prepared as i would like to be. I'm second guessing a lot of stuff that i do know. and I'm finding myself without a support. Not that my staff isn't supportive. but my store manager has always been around to back up my decisions. i'm the one creating the excitement around it, but when it comes down to everything else, he's the one that ties up all the loose ends and finishes whatever kind of messes i've dreamed up.
he came back joking that he's transferring out and just GIVING me the store. and that seems like an ideal.... but it's just not FAIR. not fair to him, and not fair to me. by giving me a store that i was the assistant at, i don't get to establish myself as the head honcho. i don't get to start off with another clean slate. they already know my standards, but they also know my loopholes. when i get my own store, i want to be able to nip all that and start completely fresh. not necessarily as a nazi, but to know that my values and beliefs and my STANDARDS are non-negotiable. i want to be able to write up or fire someone that has been consistently doing a mediocre job and not feel like a crapper for it. i want to be able to establish myself as a great manager that can manager her staff, instead of her staff managing her. and as confident as i am in myself as a leader... when it comes down to it.... at the store where i am right now... they know how to push my sympathy buttons. they know which cards to play to get as close to what they want as possible. and at my own store... i can't let that be an option.
but at least i've been practicing. i know my job. i know my duties. i know my capabilities. i just have to learn how to stick to my guns and be a hard ass, regardless of whether or not i'm the bad guy.
anyhooo..... it's my night off with the hubbers. date night! woooo!
March 15, 2008
speaking of single... Dookie is in town for a few days. i've been postponing and postponing for the past couple of days. tomorrow will be his last day here. i'm still debating on whether or not i want to see him. i invited him to hang out with me n my buddies tonight... but he's not big on social gatherings. he's best when it's one on one. but it's one of those situations where i should really know better. he knows i'm married. he mentioned possibly meeting the hubbers. BUT... you know how those things are. it's usually just to be polite to "want" to meet someone's spouse. but when there's a history, there's also hesitation.
you laugh because it's true.
anyhoo... i was reading a former's blog. he's working out. and you know how much i'm a sucker for a flubber. so he's not as hot anymore. but i kept reading. and that spirit that i admired is still there. and he's FINALLY smartening up and realizing that a relationship is something that needs actual WORK. it makes me a little bit bitter that he couldn't learn that while we were trying to work things out... but then again.... his actions led me to someone that i wouldn't trade the world for.
still... you wonder why it couldn't have been you. makes me feel slightly inadequate. but then again... you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped. i just have to be grateful that i had the oportunity to experience everything that i did with him. because however rocky things were... it was one giant learning experience.
and though we're cordial... i really wish we still had a genuine friendship.
blah.
March 14, 2008
nothin like friends comin over and hanging out for a few days to bring u back home. brian n mike came over for the weekend. baseball. beer. baseball. shopping. beer. jager. i miss life at home. i miss being able to do what i want when i want. (shooot me for what i am about to say next) i miss being single.
mostly, i miss my best friend.
and this week without miguel has been killer. makes me realize how ready i am for a store of my own. so that i don't have to double check everything. i'm confident in my decisions. i just need the approval stamp to do what i want at work because when it comes down to it... it's not MY store.
but i would hate to leave that store. because i've invested a lot. and i know that those partners work well with me and for me.
bleh.
March 1, 2008
So. today started out pretty crappy. First i had to open (cuz nobody would cover my shift because everyone that was available was too LAZY!) at work. which on a regular basis isn't horrible. I actually ENJOY the 4am shift. but this morning... i had to be off work by 6:30am so that i could make it to a philanthropy event that i coordinated for my partners. so aside from having to open with someone that isn't a morning person, ECH. NM. anyhoo. 6:30 am rolls around and none of my partners have shown up to meet me so we could head out to the construction site (we were scheduled to work for Habitat for Humanity and help build a house for an underpriveleged family).
6:45. no one.
so i start making some calls. most of which are directed to voicemail. the 2 people that i managed to get a hold of-- one i just woke up. the second one tells me that my manager asked her to cover HIS shift that morning. now-- let's keep in mind that he knows how stressed out i've been all week trying to get my shift covered so that i could volunteer. he KNEW that everyone that wasn't working that morning was supposed to come with me to volunteer. and yet... HE STILL ASKED HER!!! i asked what his reasoning was and he said-- "i've been working a lot lately and i'm too tired." uh. no.
first of all--- i've covered his butt all week by finishing all the admin tasks. he's finished all of his 8 hour shifts with not very many hours overtime. (and by not very many, i mean NONE.) so you can understand how peeved i am.
7am rolls around. and the one partner that i manage to wake up has finally arrived. we head out. by ourselves. TWO people out of the 16 that were supposed to attend. i'm pissed.
but at least it felt good to work there. we were building side by side with the home owners, and also alongside a womens group that volunteered frequently. so at least i networked a little. and i got to volunteer and really got to see what goes into these projects. building a house is not easy. we barely got any work done (not because of laziness, but because there was just SO MUCH TO DO!)
we left early because everything that we could have done we finished. if we were to start any additional projects, we wouldn't have finished by our end time.
so off we went back to our store to lay a pretty thick layer of guilt on our flaky co-workers. but by the time we arrived, it wasn't even worth it. because THEY missed out on the experience. and it was something that the both of us decided would just be our bonding thing. and the guilt would be there regardless of what we said.
so i headed home. showered all the gunk and funk that accumulated from the day. and off i was to my buddy's baby shower. which reunited me with some of my favorite co-workers from a previous store. i miss those kids so much and i wish i still worked with them. her filipino parents were there, so i had a GREAT lunch that brought me back home. not necessarily with flavor, but just the atmosphere of being in a filipino home and being forced to eat every 5 seconds. (but i didn't mind cuz the food was GOOOOOOOOOD!)
a few hours later, i was home. so i paid rent. paid off 2 credit cards. paid all the bills that are due this month. and returned some library books. and later tonight we're headed to a friend's new apartment to break it in with some booze and some stupid fun.
so despite the crappy morning. i'm over it. because i feel GOOD right now. accomplished. and ready to accept that it's MARCH! and i said that this year would be good, right?
and p.s. tonight i also changed out my plates! ACK! now i really have arizona plates! and Pane just got his AZ drivers license yesterday. so we really are no longer california residents! shoot me now.