November 28, 2007
it really made my day to hang out at HappySlip.com! This chick is hilarious. it's the fob in me, i guess. =) anyhooo... she linked to david choi and now i'm hooked. =P "Make it last all afternoon" is my new favorite song WOOOO!

it's an evil thing for me to say... but i'll say it anyway. i miss having a guy with talent. genuine, swoonable, natural talent. but those type of guys just never really work out for me. they end up being too sappy. or overemotional. or over-somethinged. just never works out. the musical types tend to be a bunch of crazies (sorry big brho!)

anyhoo... i'm swooning. and now i'm peeved cuz i can't find where to buy his music! he linked me to an online store that sells his merchandise... but not music. if you've been reading this while i rant, and you still haven't clicked the link, then you're nuts. his voice makes me melt. ((i think i found a replacement for chris carraba)) but david's music doesn't fit in one niche. he's got country, got classics, pop, r&b.... SWOOOON! so GO! go NOW!

i love this stuff. tripping on something new makes me smile =)


November 26, 2007
did you catch tonight's episode of chuck? it left off with a cliffhanger. YARGHHHH!!!! it reminds me of a certain point in my life. a few months ago. but instead of waiting a week for my resolution... for that ONE decision to be made in that instant... i made it. i'm living it. and now... well... now i'm where i am now. still unsure that i've made the right decision. but content with the way that things have turned out. hrmph!

anyhoo... i've decided to come home for Christmas. my mommy said that the family (as broken as it has become this past year) only has time for a CHRISTMAS DAY ONLY LUNCH. which means.... the traditional 3 day 4 hours of sleep in 72 hours celebration has been cut down to one day. my cousin sent an email saying that we would be doing White Elephant. SCORE!!! which means i can come home, stay for ALL the festivities, and i don't have to spend very much time shopping! only for my immediate family and the babies of the family. =) the sad part is ... i'm only there for 2 days. =( i hate being so far!

and i'm working on trying to come home before erik goes back up to the bay. for some beligerent fun. =) but waiting and seeing to see what happens. i worked on thanksgiving... so i better put it to good use. So i'll probably come home mid december, for 3 days mid-week, and have some FUUUUN! woooooo! but all the fun must include fenton parkway, aphig, erik, and fambam. which is virtually impossible in 3 days. =( and those three days need to include the drive back and forth.


November 21, 2007
Happy turkey day eve! hope you've finished your grocery shopping! if you haven't... don't forget that Ralphs is 24 hours!

I miss Ralphs. that was my favorite grocery store at home. mainly because it was open 24 hours, it had my bank inside, and my favorite things were always on sale (evian, red bull, spinach dip, jagermeister, apple pucker, and crown royale---- gimme a break. i still lived at home, remember?) my favorite was the one in mission valley. because i had a regular cashier lady, a deli guy, and there was never a line. i miss those nights when i stopped by after work for a red bull, gum, and water before i headed over to a buddy's apartment for a night of galavanting.

i don't get to galavant out here. first of all because i'm married-- so for the most part i can't troll around like a whore anymore. secondly because my friends out here aren't as close as i would like them to be. and the ones that are either live WAY too far, or i have to deal with at work. =P

i bitch about that a lot, don't I? well i do because it's the thing i miss the second-most (this season... because there's no baseball.... otherwise it would be third on the list... family, baseball, drinking)

at least i had a solid year of sobriety. you have to give me props on that. that DUI really did me good. and i really HAVE learned from it... despite of what you think, and despite the mistakes that i've made. it really was a blessing in disguise.

hopefully, this trek out to the desert is that same type of blessing.


November 20, 2007
it freaked me out. i was hopping along in myspace just flipping through videos and replying to comments when i saw a picture in someone's top... and i thought it was someone else. and i freaked. i freaked because i thought that it was someone else.

it's one thing to lose someone that you once loved to a stranger. it's something completely different when someone that you know starts to love them too. i dunno. it just took me back to a place where i didn't want to be. i've already been wrestling with the ghosts in my head, so -seeing that image was the last thing that i needed to see.

i think it's because he was the only one where things were so rocky, and i tried my best to make it work. it was to the point of stupidity and having to force it to where it was. the worst part is that the relationship ruined a great friendship. and i still mourn the loss of that friendship. sucks, but that's how it is.

i really shouldn't care as much as i do. but i do. and it bothers me. it bothers me that someone that i cared so much for can think of me as a bad person. BLAH!!!!! i need to just get over it. he's thousands of miles away (literally! cuz he's overseas!). so i shouldn't even think about it. BLEH.


November 19, 2007
i inadvertently hurt someone's feelings today. well, technically, it was last night. a friend of mine came into my store to finish up some homework and bring me dinner. She asked if i could take a look at an email she was planning to send to the director of one of the departments at school regarding one of her instructors. I obliged, and midway through the email, i made the comment, "Wow, your grammar sucks." i said it jokingly, but the damage was done. I wasn't aware of her insecurity about her education (she's not dumb, but she's not a genius either). so today started out normal enough.... but throughout the day, she started to get quieter and quieter, up to the point of her giving me the silent treatment. I finally prodded it out of her, and i realized how horrible i am. that sucked. we have plans to hang out tomorrow. so hopefully, i'll be able to fix it.

anyhoo... i stumbled onto someone's blog today. a lot has changed. A LOT. but there are pieces of his personality that i vividly remember, and adore. he has a good heart, and i applaud the way that he tries so hard to be impressive, then try to act like he puts no effort into it at all. it's cute (to a certain extent). i just have a lot of good memories, is all. in any case... it makes me think of how much things have changed for myself this past year as well.

this time 6 years ago, i was 2 weeks away from crossing over (aka i was still pledging), in a long term relationship that was close to it's end, and starting to work full-time hours. WOW. a lot has changed, hasn't it?


November 15, 2007
i found BASIL!! beautiful, fragrant, delicious basil! i was in Arrowhead to pay a bill and find a lasagne pan, and decided to be a good wife and head into Trader Joe's for my hubber's favorite brand of marinated artichoke hearts (which can only be found in said store). i had some time to kill, so i walked around the little store trying to find the beefy smell that engrossed the place (it smelled delicious!). No such luck. but i happened to pass the produce department (i say department because the store isn't big enough for produce to have an entire aisle), and lo! BASIL! i dug around for the freshest looking batch, and happily headed home. got some beefsteak tomatoes along the way... and later i will be picking up a few more ingredients so i can enjoy my find. =)

if you've never lived in arizona (which, i imagine, is all of you), then you should know this... fresh fish, fresh produce, and great ingredients are few and far between. when you happen to find it, you have to jump at the opportunity, or crave it until you can get back to california. it sucks, but this is how it is. i've learned to like previously frozen fish. i've learned not to order a sashimi platter (because the fish is never really sashimi grade). and i've learned to ask which days of the week the produce trucks make their deliveries. in any case... i really took the quality of food and life in California for granted. so my goal... which has become more clear everyday... is to ultimately move back. to green and blue and fresh and fun!

the fact that i've been perusing friends' spaces and finding all the fun party pictures does not help AT ALL.


November 13, 2007
i'm still trying to figure out where all the time went. hrmmm. it's almost christmas time again! sheeshers!

last night i came home and i started cleaning. remember how for the past two weeks i've been mentioning how i really need to start cleaning? yeah. never really got into it. so i'll pick up here and there, then all of a sudden, there's even MORE crap on the floor! and a layer of dust. ick!i have the WHOLE day off today. so i'm dedicating it to my feet, my apartment, and my well being. and if i happen to get some shopping in along the way.. then AWESOME! i've been itching for new sweaters and jeans. =)

i wish we had a ruehl around here. but sadly... the closest one is in san diego. =(


November 7, 2007
a year ago at this time, i was just returning home to san diego from a trip out to phoenix. i was working two 40-hour jobs and finally realizing how good i had it in san diego. still struggling with a few decisions and trying to figure out which path would be easier, which one would bear better fruit, and which one would make me the happiest. and we all know how good mar is at making decisions, right?

so now a year later... i find myself here. content with what i have, and hopeful for whatever lies ahead. the path is much more clear. as far as the "happy" factor... i wouldn't say that i'm absolutely happy with the choices that i've made. i'm definitely satisfied with the way that things have turned out... but i've felt much happier before. and maybe "the best times of my life" isn't such a great thing to compare to what i have now. because the best times of my life are so because they were. not to say that there isn't more joy to come... i just don't feel like that now. sadly, i should be.

with a couple of circumstances switched around... like for example... if we had what we have back in san diego, i know i would be much happier. if my closest friends were closer (via vicinity), i know i would definitely be enjoying myself much more. i think it's the fire that's dwindling. i used to be a lot more fun than i am now. it's not because i'm growing up or growing out of it. it's because i lack an outlet for all of it.

i miss blacking out. i miss running around like a lunatic and not caring.

the other day at work my abs hurt from laughing so much. i knew that it was the wrong time to be having that much fun, but i didn't care. laughing that hard at something in real life felt really good. it's been a while. (and by real-life... i say that because the only time i've had great belly laughs lately have been at Scrubs. vicariously through a fictional character. how sad)


November 6, 2007
I've gone into LAZY MODE. my apartment floor is slowly being covered by papers, clothes, aprons, and bags. huh. i think it's time for a clean sweep. or time for me to get off my lazy butt and actually get this place squared away. my mommy is coming for a visit next month, so i should start getting into the nooks and crannies of this place. i was looking at the ceiling fan the other day, and it looks a little disgusting. dust, dust dust! (just for the record, my kitchen is sparkling and the only thing dusty around here are the ceiling fans)

anyhoo... i think i'll go on a field trip to tempe today for some browsing around ikea. and to visit my folks down at 51st and baseline. =) i wanna bring C-ma some hello kitty stuff and filipino food. =)

i'm looking for a part-time job just for the holidays. any suggestions?


November 4, 2007
YAY! the meeting was a success! no drama fo anyone's mama! hahhah. but i'm glad that it's finally out of the way and my staff was very happy, and had fun. =) now i can get back to my normal 40 hours and not have to worry about always being at work or working off the clock or about any other stuff that needs attention. yay.

but i did learn that the store that is supposed to open in February (which, BTW is when i'm supposed to interview for my own store) does not have a store manager named for it yet. which means.... (((dun dun DUUNNNNN!!!)) i actually have a chance at getting it. cross your fingers for me =)

in any case... because the meeting no longer consumes my life...

i'm kinda sad. cuz now i'm just left with the everyday. maybe i'll go nuts decorating the place for christmas. i guess we'll just have to wait and see. i do have to catch up on some cleaning, tho.

which .... i don't understand why i'm killing you with the sad, pathetic, boring day-to-day of my life.

today we played "Grammar" at work. the point of the game is to catch as many grammatical errors as possible. i know it sounds lame... because it really WAS lame. but when the players are a bunch of bookworms, and we all work in an area where the dominant language is spanish.... it gets pretty amusing. i must say... i have never laughed so hard at the lack of understanding that most people have for the english language.

... and for the record, just because my grammar sucks most of the time in my posts... it's because i type out exactly what spills out of my head. and we all know how caffeinated i am for the most part. (if not caffeinated, then drunk). and HELLO.... this is casual conversation with myself. so as long as i know what i'm saying to myself, then it's all gravy. even if i am trying to justify this to you, the reader, but saying it to myself. make sense?


11.01.01
I should really be sleeping right now, but I found the episode of Pushing Daisies that I missed 2 weeks ago. I know.. So sad. So sad. But if only you knew how obsessed I’ve been…. Then I guess you’d understand. He’s hot. What can I say. (if you’re wondering about the grammatically correct capped sentence beginnings, then you should know that it’s because I’m pre-typing in a word document… which automatically corrects them. I know… It’s very out of character. But what can I do… I have to multi-task, don’t I?)

I worked at a different store today. Tonight. Whatever. But it makes me realize how wonderful my partners are and how CLEAN my store is! Did I mention I love love LOVE my store? Because It’s AWESOME! Helluva lot better than the not-so-fun store I was in a month ago (and I won’t mention any names, because I actually made a friend or two at that store). In any case… working somewhere else made me realize how good I’ve got it.

Chuck just made a reference to Winnie the pooh. I LOVE this show. And the piemaker is superhot in the way he carries himself.

I’m still trying to figure out when I’m coming home. It needs to include a Thursday. But not thanksgiving. Why a Thursday night? To include asian night at Dave&Busters! Also to include crackheadfrienderik. And some san diego late night carne asada chips! ((p.s. a little asian kid with a gnarly southern accent is now attacking my piemaker with a civil war sword! And Chuck just told Pooh to ‘Kick Pooh! Kick!’))

okay. One minute til this episode is over. I missed Scrubs, but at least I got my missing episode. I’ll find Scrubs tomorrow. Can someone find me some plastic wrap?


November 1, 2007
I'm a little distressed. Upon further review of the merging of my two favorite bands ever (Dashboard did a cover of =w='s El Scorcho).... i was researching and trying to figure out where i could get the CD with all the covers. um.. yeah. NO BUENO!!! The only way i can purchase it is if i go to one of the shows! and it being november 1st, and the Shade of Poison Trees tour already passed through the west coast and through arizona in early October... UGH!!!!!

so i checked ebay. and as much as i love this song... i'm not ready to pay $30 for the CD for ONE song. checked itunes. NADA. LAME!!!! this sucks. so if you love me.. please find it for me! and send send send!

i was on my way to work all chipper because i finally got speakers (couldn't find the monkey speakers or the penguin speakers, so i settled for "normal" speakers. boo). but now i'm just gonna go and drag my feet. I WANT MY DASHBOARD COVERING =W=!!!

it's okay. thanks Bri for sending me my beloved Green album!