September 30, 2002
I see us in the park strolling the summer days of imaginings in my head
And words from my heart told only to the wind
Felt even without being said
I don't wanna bore you with my troubles
But there's something 'bout your ****
That makes me weak and knocks me off my feet
There's something 'bout your ****
That makes me weak and knocks me off my feet
Knocks me off my feet
I don't wanna bore you with it
Oh but I **** you, I **** you, I **** you
I don't wanna bore you with it
Oh but I **** you, I **** you, I **** you
More and more
We lay beneath the stars under a ****r's tree
That seems through the eyes of my mind
I reach out for the part of me that lives in you
That only our two hearts can find
September 29, 2002
so i have a new lil sis. she ROCKS! her name is Mary (yeap. that's MAR with a Y!) a hyper little thaaaang. i thought i wasnt gonna be able to handle her... but things are lookin good so far. she's COOL! she's hyper. she's clingy. oh man o man o man. this is gonna be an interesting semester. talk about keepin me on my toes. this girl seems like she's hooked to an espresso machine or something. yeah. she's THAT hyperactive. WOO! i've got my work cut out for me this semester.
and did i tell yah? I HAVE TO COOLEST BIG SIS IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! she's been extremely supportive this past year. always pushing me to do better. to do more. i know i kinda suck as a lil sis cuz i dont call as often as i should. i dont bond as much as i should. and blablablablabla. but she's still always there for me. encouraging me each step of the way. today i got a mini-congrats present for becoming a big sis. it was a little basket with our names on it with a new JOURNAL and an ANGEL POOH!!! my big sis knows me so well. i was DYING. and this wasnt my bday present. just a "good job lil sis!" present. AW!!!! my big sis ROCKS!!! supposedly, my bday present rocks. whoa.
remind me NEVER to go to flyer parties EVER AGAIN! unless it's AphiG run. went to victor's resort the other night. i was 2 seconds to SHOOTING myself because the breezies n the TYPS were really getting to me. you couldnt turn in ANY direction without getting a direct shot of one. OH LORD. and WHY did i go? VIP list. me n bri HAD TA. its k. we hookahd afterwards w/ homies. made the night MUCH better. gimme chill time anytime.
no doubt tickets went on sale last week. and do i have mine yet? no. but im workin on it. dont wanna lag like i did w/ NFG (BTW i got lucky n got halfway-to-nosebleed seats as opposed to nosebleed). n steph's gonna bring me to see Midtown (YEYEYEY!) at epicentre. n there are rumors of hooba at cannes. WOO! k. sorry. i get a little excited sometimes. now all i need is weezer. and my year will be complete.
hey. if my posts lack content, im sorry. BUT HELLO.... 40 hour work weeks. 15 units. lil sis. psuedo-bf. im in upper division already. and im management. the psuedo lives half an hour away. so its kinda hard to find time to galavant online. i can only have coffee on T/Th now, remember? UY! im pooped. but im lovin every moment of it.
p.s. i got hot new kicks. YEY! ive been eyein these since forever ago. just never had a reason to buy em. (NB 715... they're running shoes) but me n bri have taken up running. so now i "need" them. haha!
yeah. i miss you too.
9.26.02.need.music
updated the wishlist. FYI. haha. nothing much changed. i just realized that i need new music in my car. and in my room.
~new found glory :: sticks and stones
~sugarcult :: start static
~unwritten law :: elva
~something corporate :: audioboxer
a mix CD would be nice too.
p.s. BIG BRO, how are you? i havent had contact in a long while. hope you'll be there on thursday. we should have dinner sometime soon. so you can meet my new little sis. =)
September 26, 2002
AphiG had our rush interviews last night. to get an in depth looksee into the minds of our potential future sisters. i think i got my lil sis pegged. but we'll see on sunday how that works out. im excited. sorry jan and bri. you have to share me with yet another person. but i know you understand. and that's why the both of you ROCK. 'sides... if you can work out my schedule between the two of you, it shouldnt be that much harder squeezing in another. haha. jokes. nothing changes.
oh yeah. p.s. since im getting a little sis, i'll be lacking the time to post frequently. just a fair warning. but u know how it is.
9-4:: work. 4-6:: shopping w/ bri. 6-1130:: AphiG interviews. 1130-2:: grocery shopping w/ bri.
somehow my bank account was depleted $180 within those hours. im not exactly sure how. shit. how does this shit happen? that's like 4 days of work (after taxes). DAMNIT! it's okay. i got new undies. and a phat pair of stretchy hurley jeans. and makeup. and i fed my sisters. and i have cash again. WOO HOO! but damnit.... i still have a car and insurance to pay for. ARGHHH!!!
so.... im getting floor seats for new found glory... im excited.
p.s. if you havent heard... THURSDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2002. TGIFRIDAYS IN MISSION VALLEY. 7PM. please be there. i would like to have more people to throw up on. (damnit erik. i know you read this. you too EMIL! you better be there)
September 24, 2002
so ive been awake for 26+ hours straight. got class in 20 minutes. work right afterwards. then gotta haul a couch to jan and lee's apartment after work. WHEW. im physically drained. had to wake up extra early yesterday (try 630ish) to get to mira mesa in time... well... in time just to see Bri. um. we just cant get enough of each other. [[HAH. i know you're jealous!]] walked around vons for a while grocery shopping. lunch with his daddy. poway toyota. little tv. vodka and red bull. then it was off to work for him and off to school for me. he had my car for another few hours. picked me up. studied at his pad. um. til 3 in the morning. then i headed home to clean my room. jan n lee need my couch for the apartment for tomorrow night's rush event. so i had to re-arrange my room. moved a big ass computer desk (computer and errrthang on the desk) from one side of the room to the other. minimized a 5 foot pile of clothes. and hauled a couch from my upstairs bedroom to the living room downstairs. all by myself. in the middle of the night no less. i got to school at 730 this morning. cuz i thought i had a midterm. was stressin out like a mutha tryin to catch up on the reading. but p.s.... the guy next to me just informed me that our exam will be on thursday. shit. i coulda slept for 2 hours this morning. oh well. whatever. its not gonna kill me. if anything, all the damn caffeine in my system will eventually cause diarrhea or something. EW. we wouldnt want that now, would we?
bah. i've been craving taco bell. this no junkfood/fastfood thang is killing me. and it's only day 3.
oh well. I HAVE ONE WEEK!!!! ya HEEEEEARD! imma be drunk off my ass all week next week. so please excuse my absence. it's also the beginning of the first round of midterms. i have 3 next week. work 38 hours. and hopefully i'll have a lil sis by then. woop woop! its gonna be a lovely first week of october. so expect a LOOOONG entry after that week. WOOOOOOO! arent you excited? hahaha! probably not. but you can kiss my ass. cuz I AM! damnit.
p.s. THANK YOU EMIL!!!!! we just had to tell you again.
September 22, 2002
i think im on crack. it must be in the coffee. hmm. must stop. addictions suck.
it starts today. no junk food. no fast food. restaurants only once a week. bare minimum coffee intake. no soda. Bri challenged me to do that for a month. it's okay, cuz he has to do the same thing. but HOLY SHIT! for someone that consumes as much as i do... that's a hard thang to do. even for a month. it's gonna be hard for the both of us. cuz what basically means is that we're gonna be bringing our BAON's to work and school everyday for a month. ill be grubbin on sandwiches and water for a month. holy crap. its okay. its time someone took charge of my heffer ass.
OOH! AphiG had an exchange (or was it a social?) with Lambda Theta Beta (irvine) last night at mission beach. the guys rented a beach house for the weekend and invited us over for hookah and drinks. first of all... LTD guys are HOT! hot and diverse... there were typs, gangstas, emos, pretty boys, punkers, skaters, surfers, n buff guys. YUMMY! a nice deviation from the typical frat boys that we encounter here in soCal... cuz basically, if you're in an asian frat... you LOOK like you belong there. its like they manufacture them or something. but LTD guys... all very different... its like a frat version of AphiG. ITS GREAT! hopefully we'll be seeing them again soon. our girls decided that they were worth the drive up to Irvine. everything just CLICKED.
BAH. but you know me and my lack of knowledge of my limits. i didnt eat anything all day (except marble slab w/ bri) and i had 4 drinks. (2 STRONG jungle juices n 2 MGDs). all in a matter of 2 hours. add to that combination hookah... and what do you get? a VERY faded mar. i wouldnt say that i was completely drunk... but i was pretty faded. my sisters are finally getting to see this side of me. and errrone was askin what was up for my birthday.
so if you wanted to know... i will be having a little thaaaang in celebration of my 21st at fridays in mission valley on thursday, october 3rd at 7pm. bring $10. $5 for a shot for me, $5 for food (after 9pm, apetizers are half price). please let me know via guestbook if you plan on attending. or call me. OR SOMETHING. but some feedback would be nice.
and it has been brought to my attention that a majority of you have very short attention spans. meaning that this post will probably not be read all the way through to the end. bastards. you suck.
September 19, 2002
sorry. strapped for time. class in 10 minutes. but i needed to post. i wrote 5 journal entries over the course of the day, and its only 3:50. but in short....
thank you ERIK, for the great friday night. i had a jolly good time. i had more written in my journal... maybe ill post it later when i have time. eep! and thanks for talkin me thru the drive thru north county while i was drunk. remind me never to do that again. its okay. you were pretty fucked up yourself.
thanks to JEFF for talkin to me on the drive up while i was tipsy. sorry to have put a damper on your party experience (with the high schoolers!) with my lack of judgment. your care and concern is much appreciated.
ooh! did i mention? i dont have my car with me. i got driven to school this morning by BRI. um. he drove my car around north county today. and i get picked up after my last class. hmm. feels like high school all over again. more on that later.
... err... maybe not. ive been feeling extremely strapped for time as of late. i think the last time i checked my inbox was a week and a half ago. sorry. my life is going at an extremely fast pace right now. between rush, work, school (which, BTW, i've had an exam already and 2 midterms at our next meeting on tuesday)... i barely have any time for the internet. aw hell. i havent been studying. havent been spending a significant amount of time with bri. havent seen any members of my family in almost a week. holy shit. 24 hours just isnt enough! its okay. im doing good in my classes. been keepin up with AphiG. almost enough time w/ bri. and work is only 40 hours.
but thank you for your concern. i apologize if my posts as of late have been substance free. if any at all.
September 17, 2002
bear with me. i only have 5 minutes to type out this entry.
first things first... THANK YOU ERIK for saturday night. that was fun. sorry i flaked early, but i seriously thought you were too fucked up to go on. i was PLANNING on going home. i actually did. but when i got there, i decided to leave again. but THANKS a lot for inviting me over. and THANK YOU SO MUCH for talking me through driving through carmel mtn. while i was drunk. even if you were fucked up yourself.
also, much thanks to JEFF for talkin to me thru a couple of drives. one sober. one tipsy. but thanks for caring enough to talk to me. and keepin in touch... considering the situation. yeah. so big ups to you. hopefully this link will get you more traffic. but you're popular already... so it probably wont help significantly.
and you know what... 4 times is GREAT! hahah. i had a wonderful weekend. alcohol is always good. but i think im really becoming a serious alkie. i sobered up from 5 drinks within a couple of hours. that cant be good. oh well. being a girl comes with the perk of never having to buy your own drinks. HAH! i love it.
the rest of the week should be interesting. i wish i had time to type it out, buuuuut.... im strapped for time. sorry folks. but i think you're in for a dry spell.
9.13.02.i.have.to.pee.
but at least i finally have my BIRTHDAY WISHLIST up and running. the link will be to the side if you need it. yey! but im not expecting much. as long as i get to go to the NFG concert and have dinner w/ my fam and get drunk off my ass.... then im coo.
[[encrypted]] 1.2.9.10.28. that's lacking 5 out of 48. good enough. but not quite. but then again... im not thinking 20 years from now either.
September 13, 2002
AW. i think this is the first friday the 13th that i didnt have really good luck. BOOO. damnit. i think i was expecting it too much. and jinxed it. oh well. whatever.
hey JER... when was your berfday? sorry i missed saying anything... in any case... BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! old fart.
im in the lab. on a friday nite. FUCK ME. im pathetic. i had intentions on buying my books. buying a parking permit. applying at the starbucks. getting my financial aid shit straightened. doing research for my abnormal psych presentation. getting the notes for my social psych class (exam 1 is on tuesday).
no one fucking told me the campus completely shuts down at 6pm. WHAT THE FUCK. dude. if i lived on campus, i'd be screwed tighter than a safe. so ive been online (God bless high speed internet) for the past hour. doing abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING. damnit. now i have to go on campus on monday morning. bleh. probably for the better. BUT I WAS IN PRODUCTIVE-MODE. not anymore. i might as well drag my ass home and veg out. OOH! wait. maybe i can go to the ARC. and sign up as a member. motivation to get my fat-ass in shape. alcohol has turned me into an aggressive tub of lard.
tonight i hang with erik. not bri. surprise surprise! haha. but u know how it is.... we'll probably end up seeing bri somehow. only saw him for like 15 minutes today. i dont think that's gonna cut it. ACK.
it always comes back that way doesnt it? oh well. whatever.
September 12, 2002
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIJANE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGIE! hey PC, sorry i didnt greet you earlier when i saw you! i owe you a SHOT! woo hoo! whatr we doin? whatr we doin? miss u girl... its been a while.
hey erik, i get off work at 4 on saturday. that's morning time to you anyway right? yeah. and my NOT-BF has work. you call emil. call him so he doesnt get pissy. but ye. just gimme a ringdingding when u get here. or visit me at work or something.
OOPS! late to class again. shoot me now.
September 11, 2002
SCREW IT! im tired of always being the bad guy. EXCUSE ME for speaking my mind. excuse me for being the one to point out the truth. obviously, you're so caught up in whatever fucked up mentality that you're STUCK IN to realize the error of your ways.
people need to fucking watch how they act! people need to fucking realize that whatever may not be obvious to them just screams out to others. introspection is a very unpracticed skill. pity those who have not the skill to do so. pity those who just cant seem to see themselves in their true form. not just the physical and superficial- that shit is EASY to see. it takes some hardcore self-evaluation to really see what you're made of.
i know i behave in ways i shouldnt sometimes. but at least i am able to recognize my faults. or if i continue to act in such a way,. i have a valid reason to do so. and my reasons are actually LOGICAL. not some bullshit front htat i keep up so i dont look like a fool. FUCK THAT. if i know i fucked up, ill own up to it. but if i didnt, then i wont. im not about to sacrifice my moral standing for the sake of someone's pride. and you know what? if i lack tact, then so be it. sometimes it takes a slap in the face for people to see clearly. and i would rather be attacked for being tactless than to set aside my values.
im tired of you fuckers criticizing my lifestyle. excuse me for speaking my mind on things. excuse me for believing that this journal was for the sake of my sanity as opposed to being entertainment in your life.
[editor's note:: as you can probably tell, im at a hostile stage of my rag. brought about by fucking drama kings/queens... aw fuck that... they're a bunch of fucking pussies that whine and moan to someone who doesnt wanna hear it. my sincere apologies to readers that i regard as friends. i know you know better, and therefore please disregard this entry as another one of mar's pointless rants. if you would like some background, feel free to email me and i will be sure to reply within a reasonable amount of time. because to be honest, you're not gonna catch me on aim any time soon. but you do have my cel number. so dont hesitate to call.]
whatever. im over it. ive got more important things to deal with.
September 10, 2002
hey erik, so what if im drama. isnt it better to be like that anyway? cuz u know... otherwise... no one would be reading my entries. goes to show why i only had half of my usual traffic when i was writing all that mushy-gushy cheese about me n bri. so drama is good. drama brings about uncontrollable emotions. that i like to publicize. hee. oh well. how are you anyway? i dont go online anymore except at school. and last i heard, you get kicked off of aim express at the lab. sucka. oh well. works out. no one talks to me except you and jan anyway. BTW, yeah, she's my girlfriend. haha!
to those of you who missed out on street scene... you missed out. eh... maybe not. really depends on who you're into. i thought sugarcult and unwritten law ROCKED. ja rule SUCKED ass. the roots were coo. they had most of the people jammin. wish i coulda been further up front tho... where all the vibin was happenin. that's pretty much all we got to see. i wanted to see face to face... didnt have a chance. but all good. all worthit for unwritten law n sugarcult. cant wait til NFG!! wooooo! ah. and bri was walking around drunk. that in itself was worth the day off.
i've been developing a heap of anger within me. time with sisters and time with bri temporarily keep me sane. but when i fall into lapses of alone time (e.g. driving, right now, boring parts of class) they start to creep up on me. anger management hasnt exactly been my forte. i'll usually vent about it and it's out of my system for good. but lately i havent been able to vent sufficiently because there are other things in my head... happy thoughts that cloud the negatives. maybe i just need to seclude myself for a day. away from my phone. away from sisters. away from school. away from bri. and unleash.
or maybe not. BLEH. whatever. not like you wanna hear any of it anyway.
oh yeah. i dont like my abnormal psych professor. she talks way too much about absolutely nothing. i would like to LEARN please. not hear stories about your damn life. i would like to learn material via lecture. not hear 3 hours of your life stories, then go home and read. damnit.
OOH! me and bri have a hater on findapix. but this fuckface doesnt have the balls to say anything. one of those "imma hate on you, but only cuz you dont know who i am" motherfuckers. geez. for this ASS that has no reason to hate, HE sure has a lot of anger built up. hey buddy, just so you know, anonymity does not happen with me. sometimes it's a little TOO obvious. based on past experiences, you weren't very good at it. and sorry to tell you buddy, but your style has not changed a bit.
people that think they're slick bother me. HELLO mother-effer! you can pull that shit with other people... just dont try it with me. i just pretend i dont know so i can catch your dumb ass. but the more i do, the more obvious you are. im not stupid. you should know that by now. and to be honest, you're MUCH more naive than i am.
September 7, 2002
i never understood the rationale of the jealous bf/gf. especially over trivial things. when big things bother me, then i understand. but the stupid TRIVIAL shit? like who the person is talking to. or who their FRIENDS are... fuck that. especially when those friendships were developed BEFORE the relationship.
so im not going to Extreme Import Autofest tomorrow. not even gonna go to set up. this is the first time since EIA was established that im not going. and you know why? stupid jealous girlfriend shit. FUCK THAT. i was going to set up my fucking car. BUT... apparently his gf is gonna be "uncomfortable" with me there to set up. brought up drama and shit.
yeah. AS IF! UGH! im so upset right now. i could be a prick and just GO. set up my car. and if she feels uncomfortable... then let it be. she's JUST A GIRLFRIEND anyhow. i could go, and put her in her place. i could go, and do as i please, because frankly, i dont give a fuck. i lost all respect for her.
but im not. because i value my friendship with genaro. and i know that whatever kind of screwy relationship he has with her makes him happy (usually). so as much as it pains me to stay away, i will. so as not to cause any further problems in their relationship.
not like i was doing anything to cause problems in the first place. she's just paranoid. feels threatened by the relationship i have with him. i already cut our time together by A LOT cuz of all the time i spend with bri. lately the jealousy's gotten pretty bad so i dont even get to talk to him everyday. and now THIS? fuck that. im losing my best friend. OVER A GIRL. UGH!
FUCK JEALOUSY. jealous fucks just need to shoot drugs in their veins, spasm til they vomit and choke to death coughing up their own feces.
i missed my lil sis's baby shower today. cuz of work. i wish i coulda been there. give here baby little tiny socks. AW! carry on the tradition. oh well. maybe next semester. it just wasnt meant to be.
oh. yayayayaya. sorry for the missed post yesterday. but just to fill you in... we had breakfast in Ocean Beach at 8am. in a cute little nook overlooking the pacific. (yeah. it was ON THE BEACH). did a little shopping afterwards. hit up PB. then mission beach. then the both of us headed off to work. after work, i swooped him up from D&B and cruised downtown drunk. the hustler store is interesting. we found a 2-story starbucks too. lounged around a bit, then decided to call it a night. 8 hours later we were back at the starbucks having coffee. then back to work again. BOO. at least i got to see him after work again. made me feel better after all the drama.
all works out. no need for a title. no need for a commitment. dont need anything else.... although.... i cant wait til our house on the corner of prospect and la jolla village dr. is finished. we found the perfect couch to go in the game room today. we're still shopping for a bed-set. we havent found one that spoke to us tho.
AKEM! i cant wait til tomorrow. street scene is gonna be HOTNESS. and i get to spend it with hotness.
September 5, 2002
hey erik, i appreciate your input as far as my entries go. at least i know im getting to SOMEONE out there. not like these other kids that view the page. and read. and not bother to say anything. hey people, i put up my contact information for a reason. oh yeah. and the freshies arent hot this semester. they just wear very little and have a lot of makeup on.
but anyway....
i'm finally getting back into the swing of things. going to class. actively taking notes. working full time. and all the while having a social life. hip hip hooray! im proud of me. i cant wait until AphiG gets into full effect. THEN im not gonna have a moment to spare. (except for the daily post ofcourse). but it's fun. i love being over-active. loe being stressed out. it's such a relief to know that im not wasting my life away. the feeling of being productive is a reward all its own. quite invigorating, if you ask me. try to fill every minute of your day with something. with no down time. you'd be surprised how great you feel at the end of the day.
did i tell yah? i like all of my professors this semester. they're all WEIRD. so it keeps class interesting. seeing that a majority of my classes are basically reviews of courses ive taken previously, at least i have some form of motivation to go to class. i dont dread going like last semester. sucked that my ONE interesting class was my last one. i have abnormal psych at 4. im excited.
September 4, 2002
i started doing a countdown on my cel until my birthday. i've gotten up to 9.27.02. starting from 10.01.02. it gets time consuming. trying to be witty to myself is hard. i think im just gonna start imagining that it's for someone else's bday. but that's just psycho. its okay tho.
my lungs hurt. hookahed last night at sinbads. that shit was HARSH. a coupla FAT ass coals. i havent smoked in a while. so it kinda hurt. but at least it hit me quick. took a stroll around PB. then a stroll around this place downtown by the airport. it was nice. heard a SIX-PEAT of dilemma! wow. back to back to back to back to back to back. z90 to 933 to power to the beat to 1027 to 991. that was just HOTNESS. [oh ye. and the dilemma video finally premiered. and guess who has it on video! haha. yeah. so what if we're cheese. you're just jealous]
so anyway, we scaled a cliff today. that's why my lungs hurt. blacks beach. wow. the waves were huge. the sand was fine. the weather was perfect. the beach was bare. (and so were half the people) and the sun was setting. that was a steep climb. but at least we got in our workout for the day. hit up wing night at callahans [p.s. we saw mikey, annie n the baby. cute kid]. watched off centre. and called it a night. ... power played dilemma before i left. we couldnt part ways without it.
tomorrow i have school all day. he has work. argh. tomorrow's gonna suck.
geez. clingy much?
yeah. we are. AND?!?
9.3.02.quick.note.
seriously. before i jet to my first class of the semester.... do you know what the worst thing is about falling asleep at the beach?
1)sand in your mouth
2)sand in your ears
3)the paranoia of birds pooping on your face
i couldnt decide. so ill just leave it up to you.
i have soc 335 in 10 minutes. no coffee yet. wish me luck in keeping my eyes open. eh. i think ill just read the paper.
September 3, 2002
yeah. it was hotter than a mother in san diego this weekend. but everyone and their fuckin mom already wrote about that shit in their blog. so me doing it would be like writing about 9/11. screw that. i know you get enough shit from me as it is.
well. first day of school and i already wanna go postal on all these little freshmen fucks. DAMNIT. the only fucking reason that college area has so much fucking traffic the first week of school is because all of these fucking freshmen dont know how to fucking park and back up the damn parking structures. SHIT. i must have been stuck behind these shits FOREVER because they couldnt get into a fucking parking spot large enough for a damn fob-van. so the whole fucking time... on every fucking level... you see these prissy little fucks backing up, and trying to get into the spot. repeat. repeat. repeat. take the bus damnit. save us all the trouble of shooting your asses because you cant drive in chunky 4-inch wedges. and while you're at it, can you PLEASE try to understand that this is an institute of higher learning (and occasionally higher partying) and not a pick up spot? err... at least not in the morning. so stop yankin on your too-skimpy skirt and your way-too-tight top and just fucking get on with it. we dont need to see that shit. and to the fellahs... dragonball hair is SOO high school. grow up please. i cant see above your fucking hair.
im angry. can you tell? no. just bitter. third year already. i need to get the fuck out. THIS YEAR. 3 years is enough already. bah. 60 units to go. and im gone. WOOPEE!!! that's 4 semesters sucka. ya heard? IM GRADUATING ON TIME!
jealous? i would be.
yeah yeah yeah. i know. too much profanity. hopefully you understand. just dont let the kiddies look over your shoulder.
September 2, 2002
PEOPLE THAT BOTHER ME...
~people that dont answer their phones
~shop-a-holic label whores
~breezies that get drunk every weekend w/ some random guy that isnt her BF
~neo emo/alti/punk/urban/artsy kids who TRY too hard to be something they're NOT
~people with the "i wanna put up the IMAGE that i dont care what i look like or how i act, but in reality, i try way too hard to be something im not because i envy the kind of people that are like that without trying. so even though i try to dress/talk/act like that kind of person, it's still apparent in the way i act and carry myself that im just a hopeless TYP." thang. damnit people. just be your fucking self. no matter how fucking typpie it may be. stop trying to be EMO when it's apparent that you're an aimless sheep. stop trying to be popular when you know that you're not social. stop trying to act smart just to look smart. read a fucking book that you fucking enjoy. not a book that you think will make you appear smarter. cuz if you dont fucking understand it, and you're in it just for the sake of being able to say that you read the fucking thing... then SCREW IT.
im just tired of this bullshit. i just wanna fucking slap some sense into some people.
September 1, 2002
this summer was great. bri says its just the beginning. i dont doubt him.