THE MUMMY RETURNS






Evy:(Upon finding the chest) Let's open this

Rick: Evy, I don't think this is a good idea

Evy: It's only a chest, no harm ever came from opening a chest.

Rick: "No harm ever came from opening a book" either! But do you remember how that one went?




Alex:(after a huge wall caves in) Mum, Dad, I can explain everything.




Evy:(talking about the Oasis of Ahm Shere)Alexander the great went out in search of it

Rick: Great for him

Evy: So did Ceaser

Rick: Yeah, look what happened to his career

Evy: As did Napoleon

Rick: But we're smarter than him.... and taller too.

Evy: Exactly! That's why we're the ones who are going to find it!

Rick: Because we are taller?




Ardeth:(After discovering the Braclet of Anubis on Alex's wrist) By putting this on you have started a chain reaction which shall bring about the next apocolypse!

Alex: *Gasp!*

Rick:(pointing to Ardeth)You lighten up, (pointing to Alex)you BIG trouble, (pointing to Jonathan)you get in the car




Izzy:(After Rick asks him for help) No Way O'Connell! Every time I hook up with you I get shot! Last time I got shot in the ass! I'm in MOURNING for my ass!




Alex:(reading out of the book of the dead) Uncle Jon! I can't figure out this last symbol!

Jonathan:(fighing Anck-su-namun) What's it look like?!

Alex(flapping arm): It's a bird! A stork!

Jonathan: I know that one! I know that one!

Alex: THEN WHAT IS IT?!

Jonathan:(getting caught by the throat) A...A...Ameniphous!


Jonathan:(To one of Imhotep's men as they are being chased by Pygmies) Look Look! Were in the burial ground! See those sacred stones?! They'll never pass those!

Imhotep's Minion: Are you sure?

Jonathan:(looking offended)Of course I'm sure

~~A pygmie runs by, spots them, runs through the burial ground, jumps on the minion and stabs him~~

Jonathan: AHHHHHHHHH!

Pygmie: AHHHHHHH!

Jonathan: AHHH!

~~Pygmie takes off screaming~~

Jonatahn:(to Imhotep's minion) Sorry! My mistake!


Rick: What's wrong with my car?

Jonathan: I was forced to find an alternative means of transportation

Rick: A DOUBLE DECKER BUS?!

Jonathan:(pointing to Alex) It was his idea!

Alex: Was not!

Jonathan: Was too!

Alex: Was not!

Jonathan: Was too!

Alex: Was not!




Rick: NO! NO! NOT MY CAR!!...........Oh I hate mummies

Ardeth: Glad to see me now?

Rick: Just like old times huh?




Jaques: This place....is cursed..

Red: What is it with you and curses?

Spivey: He ain't happy without a good curse(pointing randomly around the room) This is cursed, that is CURSED!




Rick:(Watching a ceremony to bring back Imhotep) You know, a couple of years ago this would have seemed REALLY strange to me




Alex: My dad is going to kick your ass!

Imhotep: I do not think so




Rick: This is bad!

Evy: We've had bad before!

Rick: This is worse!




Alex: Are we there yet?

Lock Nah: No

Alex: Are we there yet?

Lock Nah:(getting upset) No

Alex: Are we there yet?

Lock Nah:(very upset now) No

Alex: Are we-

(Lock Nah whips out his knife and brings it down at Alex's hand, landing in between his fingers)

Alex: Wow! That was amazing! Perfect aim!

Lock Nah:(pulling his knife out of the table) What are you talking about? I missed.




Jonathan(being threatend by Meela) I told you! I told you!

Meela: And your point is?

Jonathan: I told you so you wouldn't kill me!

Meela: When did we make that arrangment?




Alex: Wow! The book of the dead!

Meela: What a bright little child... your mother must be missing you terribly. If you'd like to see her again you better behave

Alex: Lady, I don't behave for my parents, what makes you think I'll do it for you?

Meela: Because your parents wouldn't slip poisonous snakes into your bed. (kisses his cheek) While you were sleeping.




Rick: IT'S NOT WORTH YOUR LIFE YOU IDIOT!

Jonathan: YES IT IS! YES IT IS!

(Jonathan manages to pick up the priceless artifact, dangling from the derigible)

Jonathan: AHHHHH! PULL ME UP! PULL ME UP!




Ardeth:(Talking about the golden sceptor of Osiris) If the curator reacted to it the way you say it must be very important. I would keep it close

Jonathan: My friend the GODS couldn't take this away from me

Izzy:(snatching it from Jon's hands) Keep your hands off it.




Izzy:(talking about the artifact) That's half mine you know.

Jonathan: What?

Izzy: That's half mine.

Jonathan: I have no idea what your talking about

Izzy: You took my gold stick! I know you took my gold stick!

Jonathan: I SWEAR ON THE HEAD OF MY WIFE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT!

Izzy: Hold on... You ain't got a wife!




Rick:(After seeing the derigible) Izzy, you were right, your going to get shot

Izzy: Woah, Woah, Woah! She's faster than she looks, and quiet, real quiet. Perfect for sneaking up on people.... unless of course we take your approach *speaks quickly* Barging in face first, guns blazing, and getting your friends shot in the ass!




Izzy: You give me that gold stick there and you can shave my head, wax my legs and use me for a surf board

Rick:(tossing him the scepter of Osiris) Didn't we do that in Tripoli?




Izzy: Remember that bank job in Marakesh?

Evy: Bank job?

Rick: It's not as it sounds

Izzy: Oh it's EXACTLY as it sounds. I was flying high, hiding in the sun, the white boy here flags me down I fly in low for the pick up. The next you thing you know I GET SHOT! I'm lying in the middle of the road with my spleen hanging out and he waltzes up with some belly dancer girl!

Evy: Belly dancer girl? Izzy, I think you and I should talk

Izzy: As long as I don't get shot




Izzy: Your not exactly catching me at my best

Evy: Oh I'm sure I am




Alex: YOU BROKE IT! YOU BROKE IT! YOU BROKE IT!

Jonathan: Be quiet Alex! If there will be any hysterics they'll come from me!




Jonathan: What are we going to do?! What are we going to do?!

Alex: Your asking me?! I'm only 8 years old for cripes sake!



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