The Feet Have Left the Building

Dear Bill,

I just wanted to let you know that by the time you have awakened, I will be far far away. If you're wondering if the reason I've left is because of something you've done, you can rest easy, because it is. Everything you do puts me out. I don't have a life of my own; I can't go anywhere I want to, I have to take you everywhere, even to the fridge in the middle of the night. I no longer care that you are a rock star, I just want some attention from you, and for you to stop taking advantage of me like you have been doing for the past twenty-three years. The issue is no longer that you smell and that people critisize me due to your sense, or rather your lack of sense, of style. No amount of money could persuade me to stay, because you're clingy and your inability to cope without me is just driving me to madness. I cannot honestly say I will miss you since there is nothing about you to miss. So without further ado, I say farewell.
The Feet

Samantha Conner ©2005