Chapter 4

As I came awake again in the morning I heard the very same song playing on the radio. I moaned out loud. "Oh no, not again." I just lay there wondering how long this was going to go on. I wanted to get on with things. I wanted to get to know Brian more. So far I was learning all the same things about him, seeing him do the same things, say the same things. I wanted to move on.

Slowly I opened my eyes and sure enough the roses were once again missing. I sighed and rolled over. I knew if I walked over to the window about now I would see the little boy and his mother sitting by the pool and also the street sweeper in the distance. I strained my ears and sure enough I could just hear it.

I groaned again and rolled out of bed. I stood up and stretched, then looked at my watch. I had 25 minutes before I had to be downstairs in the dining room, being seated at my same seat, so I could have Brian come up to me and request if he could sit with me. I collected my third set of clothes I had brought, knowing too well I would be wearing something else by midmorning. That meant regardless of what day it would actually be tomorrow, I would be wearing these clothes tomorrow.

I showered and dressed in time to get out the door a little earlier than yesterday. I really didn't feel up to seeing the same man in the hallway, or the lady in the elevator. I got out just as the old man was rounding the corner a little bit further down the hallway, and the elevator that stopped was different to the one I had gotten into the previous two days.

Once I was downstairs I figured I better hang around the few minutes I was early before I walked into the dining room. I realised I would have to get in there the same time as the last two days or I may well be seated somewhere else. I didn't want to take that chance. Brian may never see me if I sat somewhere else.

So, at the same time as yesterday, or whatever day it was, I walked into the dining room. The very same waitress seated me in the very same seat. The very same people sat in all the same places doing all the same things. It made me shiver to realise what was going on. It was a little unnerving and I didn't like it.

Then Brian was standing in front of me. I smiled to myself, knowing how this part of the day would go, and feeling better now that he was here. It was still unnerving, especially when I looked up a little and he was in the same clothes again. While he looked stunning, it would be nice to see him in something different than the jeans and shirt he wore.

I looked up at him and saw his smiling face. I sat amazed, that no matter how many times I see him, his smile always melted my heart, sent it pounding a few extra beats. Or was it miss a few beats, I wasn't sure. I couldn't help myself, I smiled back.

"Hello, do you mind if I join you, it seems there are no single seats left and I am starving."

His smile never left his face as he waited for an answer. He had to know the effect it had on me. I just stared back. Then I shook my head and answered him. "Of course. We can't have you starving now can we?" Gosh, I did it again, exact words as the previous two days. I would have thought I could at least change it.

He sat down in front of me and I reacquainted myself with his features. His face was so handsome with his angular jawline, his smiling blue eyes, the dazzling smile, his lips I loved to kiss so much, the slightly blonded hair that curled at the front and made my fingers itch to run through. Again he caught me off guard and I realised he was talking to me.

"….. and there was no where else they said, so I had to ask you, I hope you don't mind." I shook my head not saying anything. He stuck his hand out. "My name's Brian."

This time I remembered that he would stick out his hand and I prepared myself for the electric sizzle. "My name is Sue." I said, barely able to hide my reaction to his touch. He had to see it, I felt like I was giving him so many signals, all meaning I wanted him. I blushed softly.

"Sue, nice name. Nice to meet you. And again, I am sorry to interrupt your peace and quiet." He said holding on to my hand longer than necessary, but I wasn't about to let go. He could have held it all day long and I would have been happy.

"That's okay," I said to him. "The company would be nice. Espec…." I clamped my free hand over my mouth, stopping myself from uttering those words again. Brian still grinned, almost as if he had expected more. He finally let go.

"Especially?" He asked. "It's okay you know, the feeling is mutual." I sat there open mouthed, stunned. How did he know what I was thinking. Was I that transparent? "I won't bite you. I just think you are something special. When I saw you across the room I prayed there would be no seats left for me to use." He stopped and looked at me seriously. "Do you believe in love at first sight?" Brian asked.

Again it made me think of the roses. But I still couldn't answer him. I was believing it more and more each day. I knew that. "I thought you said you were hungry." I said changing the subject. I was nearly ready to answer that question.

"Ah, now I have feasted on the loveliness of you, I am satisfied."

I giggled again, and looked at him sweetly. "I think we both better get some food."

"Here, let me," he said getting up and pulling my chair out for me, taking my hand as he did so. There was that same sizzle and it was actually welcome this time, giving me a warm glowing feeling. I somehow remembered that if we stayed there, someone was going to bump into him, so I moved around a little further. Sure enough the person who bumped into him before moved past easily this time, allowing me to continue gazing into his eyes, falling deeper and deeper.

On the first day, I was overwhelmed by what I was feeling for Brian. Yesterday, I understood it a little more. Today it was becoming obvious to me that there was really something going on between us, maybe something more than I was willing to admit. I remembered Brian's card and took a moment to really look at his expression and try to read him. He did look truly captivated and I felt my breath catch in my throat. If I ever got past this first day, I was sure we would be able to build on this relationship.

Then I remembered who he was and frowned. Would it make a difference that Brian was a Backstreet Boy? I was sure it would. He was famous, a high flying music star who could have any woman he wanted, may very well have one in every town. I really knew nothing about his life, what he was like, but surely the sweet thoughtful person that he had shown me already had to be some indication. He didn't seem like he would be a guy who would have a woman in every town he went to.

I realised if I didn't sit down soon I was not going to have that water spill on me. "Brian, you go and get something to eat, I just have to, um…" I thought frantically for something, "finish writing in my book before I eat," I said, thinking of my travel journal I hadn't written a word in so far.

"You sure, can I get you something?"

"No, I'll get something in a few minutes."

"Okay, as long as you are sure."

I smiled at him. He turned and walked towards the breakfast bar and I spied the waitress carrying the glass of water. I braced myself as I knew it was coming. As much as it was freezing and a shock to have it spilled, I wanted Brian in my room.

Why, why did I want him in there? I gasped softly, knowing that I wanted more with him. To him it was going to seem too soon, but I had had three days now, to know how I felt about him. Well, nearly three days, this one was just beginning, but I had already had so much time to think about it.

The cold water spilled down my back and the waitress began apologising, Brian yelled his predictable "Leave her alone." He had left his plate on the servery and was straight by my side. I really felt touched by his reaction. "Are you okay?"

"Yes Brian, I am okay, but can you take me to my room?" Gosh that sounded so forward and so uncharacteristic from me. Brian didn't notice, he agreed immediately.

The cold shirt stuck to me at the back. Today I was glad it was spilled on my back, because it was a white shirt. I grinned to myself at that thought. Again the staff offered me a complimentary dinner and Brian said he would be taking me for dinner. I frowned at that, knowing it was likely not to happen once he was dragged away from me, and besides Tom said he was busy in the evening.

He took my hand in his and led me out. All the feelings that had rushed to me that first day were now intensified. I felt everything stronger, more intensely than I had the other two days. I almost felt like I was going crazy.

It was an electrically charged elevator ride up to my floor, which happened to be Brian's too. There was a tension in there, I must have been giving off stronger vibes about the way I felt, because even Brian's reactions were different.

Once inside my room, I could feel the tension between us. I must have really been giving Brian some strong vibes indeed. My breath caught in my throat when I looked up at him and saw the desire shining from his eyes. Without a word this time, I gathered up a change in clothes and went to the bathroom to change.

Again I sat on the side of the tub. What was I going to do now. How was I going to change this so it had a more favourable outcome. I didn't really need to change the coffee shop visit. Maybe we shouldn't go for a walk. But that was where we had our first kiss. My whole body tingled at the thought of that first kiss, I wanted it so badly. I really didn't want to miss out on it. Only this time I would make sure we weren't separated. If Tom was going to drag him away, I was going to make sure I went too.

I left the bathroom freshened up and walked over to Brian standing near the balcony. "Brian?" he jumped again. "Sorry."

He turned and looked at me. I looked back, giving him a look that made all thought fly from his mind. I didn't want to talk about him leaving the next day as much as I hadn't wanted to yesterday. He walked over to stand in front of me and my heart was pounding. My body was a tidal wave of emotions, boiling through me. I just wanted him to touch me.

He leaned in closer and I lifted my face to his. I could see his mind debating on what he should do. Kiss me damn it, I wanted to scream. Slowly he lowered his lips, his bottom lip brushing mine. I closed my eyes and waited for more. I waited a second and he brushed his lips against mine again.

Then the phone rang again and we jumped apart. I silently cursed myself for forgetting to take the phone off the hook, but I had been totally mesmerised, incapable of thought. I knew what the question was going to be. I didn't want breakfast, and politely told the person on the other end, even though I was seething that they had again disturbed what should have been a special moment. Obviously, this was not meant to be my first kiss with Brian, but it served as a signal to both of us that a kiss, at least, was what we wanted to share.

I turned and looked at Brian. His expression was more readable this time. His eyes were the same deep blue in colour as they had been both other days, as well as his expression of yearning.

"You feel it too don't you?" I knew he was going to ask and I felt more at ease about answering.

"Feel what?"

"What's going on between us. There is a stronger force here, pushing us together. It's like destiny." I nodded.

I nodded, "Yes, I feel it too. But I still think we better slow down a little." I said, wishing more than anything that I didn't need to.

He smiled and took my hand in his, kissing the back of it. "I have never in my life had such an instant reaction to anyone like I have you. I don't want to do anything to ruin what we may be able to share. Lets go and have coffee somewhere, we never did have breakfast, lets find somewhere nice and have something. We can talk, get to know one another."

"Sounds great to me." This continued Roller coaster ride of emotions was going to be the end of me, I was sure. He took my hand, which did not settle these crazy emotions any, and led me out the door.

We found the same coffee shop as we had before and got the same table. I actually ordered some food this time, not having had breakfast. It was still difficult to eat.

The whole time we sat in the coffee shop my body was aching for him. Emotions were tap dancing around my heart then circling down to the rest of my body, pooling in my belly. I wanted him, it was easy for me to realise now.

"Are you okay?" Brian asked.

"Um" I squeaked out, "Yes, I'm fine."

"You just looked a little distracted."

How could I tell him I was. I was distracted thinking about kissing him soon, wanting more, imagining more. I imagined how it would feel in his arms, how he would make an attentive lover, how special he would make me feel. Our skin pressed together in the most intimate way.

I shook my head and paid attention to what he was saying.

"How about we go for a walk, talk some more." He asked me. I had eaten enough and I wanted to get out of there.

"Sure, can we walk by the lake in the park?"

"Anywhere, so long as I am with you." He told me smiling softly.

Again he took my hand. He led me out the back entrance to the lake, which would have had me confused had I not already known who he was. I kept that thought out of my head though, just getting to know Brian as he really was. Once out the door, he slid his arm around my waist and it was a natural reaction for me to do likewise. I lay my head on his shoulder, feeling totally at home in his arms.

Brian looked down at me and smiled. We never spoke as we walked towards the park, we didn't need to.

Tom was in the distance, I could see him, but I ignored him. Brian had made a discreet hand signal to him, not leaving my side as he had yesterday. There were no nearby roads here, but Tom still seemed alert, on guard.

We walked down the hill to the lake, and laughed at the antics of the ducks in the water. Conversation between us was light and amusing, he was always making me laugh. He imitated the ducks so well, sending me roaring with laughter.

Then we found a huge tree to shelter next to, hidden from most of the world. Brian turned me in his arms and pulled me to his body, wrapping the other arm around me too. This was it, I knew it. He was going to kiss me and I was ready.

"Sue, you realise this is not going to be enough, I am going to have to see you again after today." I nodded. I didn't want to talk, I wanted to kiss him, to taste him. "I can't explain what I am feeling. I can't explain it to myself. All I know is I, well, I really like you. An awful lot too. More than just a mild interest." I nodded again.

Then he moved closer, his face close to mine. My breathing was getting shallow, coming in short gasps. Couldn't he see how much I wanted this kiss, why wasn't he hurrying up.

His lips came to mine, softly at first, but as if ignited by kindling, we soon went up in flames of longing. Without warning, Brian's tongue traced the outline of my lips, sending my mind into a total overload of longing and desire. My hands clutched at his shirt for support, his arms were wrapped tightly around my waist.

I moaned softly, letting my tongue touch the tip of his. That was when we both lost all control. Our tongues strained to taste each other, our lips locked together. I couldn't breathe, but I didn't want to, felt no need to. This kiss was enough to keep me sustained for now.

"Sue, that was amazing. I'm sorry I let it get so out of hand, but as soon as I started kissing you…….. What's going on here? I have never felt like this in my life. It's as if you are a part of me now."

"I don't know Brian, but I feel it too. I don't know what is going on here, I really don't," I said knowing that I meant both the effect he had on me, and the strange happenings I have been going through. I suddenly remembered Tom might come rushing by to tell Brian to run any minute. "Brian, just promise me one thing, whatever happens here, don't let me go."

"I won't."

"I'm serious Brian, hold on to me, no matter what."

"I am not letting you go, you are mine," he said with force before lowering his lips to mine again. I forgot everything else again, returning the kiss with equal force, wanting him, needing him.

Then I heard it. "Brian, run," Came Tom's voice, snapping Brian's head up in the direction the voice had come from. I could see Brian was disorientated, not realising what was going on. Then he saw Tom and a fear raced through him. I realised this had happened to him before and I felt for him, having to run form a mob of young girls. He wasn't a big guy, and he would always have to be careful.

But I didn't let go of Brian this time, still clutching his shirt tightly. He whipped around taking me with him. "Come on Sue, run to that car up there. Please come with me." He pleaded as Tom reached us and grabbed a hold of Brian, dragging him as he went.

Brian's hand reached down and prized mine away from his shirt and he held on to it tightly. He wasn't going to let me go. I ran along with them, my heart pounding as we ran. I turned and saw a group of girls running towards us, a fairly large group, that had the potential to hurt Brian if things got out of control. Is this what his life was like. Constantly having to watch his every movement in case he is found. Always having a bodyguard following you, watching you.

My hair whipped around my face as we ran and I was having trouble keeping up. Brian turned and gave me a pleading look, shouting, "come one Sue, you can do it, we're almost there."

I looked up and saw the car only a few feet away and I nodded at him. The car door was already open and Brian almost pushed me in ahead of him, then quickly climbed in after me. The second the car door was shut, the car sped away, out of the grasp of the girls following Brian.

"I'm so sorry Sue, I never wanted you to see that." I looked at him helplessly. I didn't know what to say. "Oh geez, come here," he said pulling me into his arms. "I'll explain it all," he stopped and looked longingly at me again, "Just let me kiss you again." He asked me before claiming my lips with his again.

The car came to a stop outside the resort we were both staying at. We parted slowly and I looked up at where we were. Tom turned around.

"Brian, remember you have to meet with Gayle in half an hour."

"Oh Geez yeah, I forgot about that." He looked at me apologetically. "Sue, I'm sorry, I have to go and see someone. Will you wait for me?"

I nodded at him, feeling disappointed.

"I'm sorry, really I am. I don't want to go, but I have to."

I smiled at him, trying to hide my disappointment. "It's okay Brian, I understand. I'll see you later."

"Thanks." He pulled me into his arms for another kiss, one that was interrupted by Tom.

"Brian, I think you should go inside."

"Oh, yeah, okay." He answered Tom, his eyes never leaving mine. "Lets go in Sue. Then I will kiss you goodbye properly."

He took my hand and we climbed out of the car. A couple of girls were mingling around and called out to Brian as we walked. He waved and walked on, into the back door of the building.

"Brian, how did those girls know you?"

"Um, they've met me before," is all he said. "Now come here." He continued, pulling me into his arms. "I don't think I am ever going to have enough of you." Before crashing his lips down to mine.

My head was spinning when he finally pulled away. It was still not the most private of places, being the place the staff came in and out, but to us they didn't exist.

"Will you wait for me?"

I smiled again at his question. "Yes, I will wait for you."

Then Tom came over to whisk Brian away again. He gave me one more quick kiss and then was gone. I frowned. Well, at least I got a bit longer than yesterday.

I went through the usual time in my room that evening, but then decided I would go down to the dining room for dinner this time.

I dressed into the one piece of evening attire I had brought with me and made sure I looked okay, with a minimum of makeup. I brushed my hair up and put it in a flowing ponytail before collecting up my purse and leaving.

I had a nice meal of my favourite dish for dinner, Veal Cordon Bleu with vegetables. I sat around watching the proceedings of the room, feeling only a little bit out of place that I was on my own. Nobody bothered me and I enjoyed my dinner.

Just as I was about to get up and leave I heard a familiar voice. I looked up to see Brian walk in the door and was about to get his attention when I saw a woman next to him, her arm draped around his. He was laughing with her and seemed to be very cosy. I was stunned and cringed back in my seat, hoping he didn't see me. A couple of other guys followed them in, no 4 more guys. I assumed they were his band mates.

As they walked the woman moved back to the tall blonde one and took his arm in hers, then slowly linked her other arm with another of the group. What was she playing at? Was she with any or all of these guys. I watched them sit down at a table in the far corner, Brian sitting the furthest away from the woman. He was looking distracted. He had something on his mind.

Okay, so she wasn't actually with Brian but I still felt a little uncertain about the situation and hoped I could get out of there without him noticing me. I gave my room number to the waitress and she would bill me through that. Then I stood up and turned to leave, making a hasty exit.

I headed straight back to my room. I didn't know why I reacted like that, and now that I was here I wished I had stayed, said hello to Brian at least. What was I thinking. I could have been with him now. I only had one more day here, I think, so I should have grasped the opportunity. Why did I act so crazy? But I couldn't go back now.

I opened my door and inside was a letter. Surely Brian hadn't written the same thing again. I opened it, curious to see what he said

Dear Sue,

I cannot begin to express how sorry I am about today. I had to leave you so suddenly, I felt so very bad about what you must have thought. Gayle is someone from my business, nothing more. I can't explain any more, as much as I'd like to. But please accept my apologies. I wanted to spend every minute with you, but it was taken away from us.

Please let me make it up to you. I have to leave in the morning, but not until after breakfast. I beg you for some of your time. I really want to see you again, spend some more time with you and work out where we can go from here. There has to be more than just today, I won't let you slip away from me. I just pray you feel the same way.

Hoping to see you very soon.

Brian.

The note was almost identical, but had reference to the Gayle he had been advised he had to see. Was that Gayle he was with tonight, along with the 4 other men? I guess I won't know because I left. Damn I should have stayed.

There was a knock at the door and my heart skipped a beat. Was that Brian? Then I remembered the roses and raced to the door. Sure enough, the same guy was delivering the red roses to me, insisting I not pay a tip. I looked at the card this time before opening it, hoping it said the same thing, because this time I knew the answer was yes. I knew, deep in my heart that it was and now I only wished the two of us could build on that. I opened the card slowly then turned it in my hand to read.

Sue

Do you believe in love at first sight? Because I do.

Brian

I held the card to my heart and closed my eyes. I imagined Brian, how he felt in my arms, how he looked at me and how he kissed me. I dropped to the bed and lay down, savouring the memories. Maybe tomorrow, whichever tomorrow it was, things would get better. I made a pact with myself that it was going to be.

Chapter 5
Index

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