| By the time they reached the hotel, both of them were icy cold, the chill of the night air having permeated their thick jackets and layers of clothing. They both raced towards the fireplace in the smaller bar without a second thought. Brian looked around, happy to notice only a couple of tables were occupied with people and the lounge in front of the fireplace was vacant. “Would you like a drink?” Brian asked Belle hoping she was as reluctant as he was for the evening to end. “I’d love one,” she said choosing a red wine and Brian smiled to himself. He could draw this out even longer with coffee afterwards. They both shrugged out of their jackets and Brian took them to hang them up as Belle got herself comfortable on the lounge. He looked down at her in the glow of the fire and an ache went through him. Simply looking at her unravelled him. He stood watching her for a little longer before turning to hang the coats on the hooks on the wall by the entrance. He walked to the bar and ordered a bottle of highly recommended red wine then carried it and two glasses back to where Belle sat. Without a word he poured 2 glasses of the wine, handing one to Belle before sitting himself beside her. She scooted close next to him and they both got comfortable. For a long stretch of time, neither one of them spoke, both of them gazing into the fire deep in their own thoughts. Their future was what was on Brian’s mind and it worried him. “We have a chance don’t we?” he said suddenly giving Belle a fright. They had been quiet for so long his words had startled her. “A chance?” she asked, but she was sure she knew what he meant. “A chance at a future. For us. I mean… do you think we will be able to see each other?” he managed to get out, but he knew it wasn’t going well. He looked at her, his expression softening as he did. “I’d like to keep seeing you, but I don’t know if it is possible.” Belle’s breathing became heavy as Brian’s eyes took on a glow of longing. “I’d like to…see you… again… too,” Belle stuttered out. He was working that magic spell on her again and she was instantly enchanted. Brian noticed the glazed look in her eyes and felt his body react instantly. He wanted to talk about their future and if they had one, but all thought fled as she looked at him. He groaned softly and licked his lips, and she closed her eyes. He had to kiss her, to finally give in to what they both desired. Her eyes remained closed as he moved closer, narrowing the gap between them slowly, almost agonisingly. He wanted this, more than anything, and he knew she did too. Their flirting at the restaurant had led to this and now they were here. His lips touched hers softly, like butterfly wings and she sighed, a small whimper escaping her. Gathering her into his arms he increased the pressure of his lips on hers confidence growing within him as her arms gripped him. Her hold on his arm was tight and he reached down to guide it around his waist never breaking the contact between them. Belle’s arm tightened around him as her other hand wound it’s way into his hair. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. Slowly Brian slid his tongue through his lips to make contact with hers. He needed to taste her. This time her whimper was louder, easier for him to hear and he was encouraged to continue. He traced her bottom lip, prompting her to open her lips to him and he was rewarded with her consent. Her lips opened and her tongue snuck out to meet with his. It was his turn to groan now and if possible he moved even closer. This was where he wanted to be. Right now, nothing else in the world mattered. What seemed an endless amount of time later, they finally moved back, both of them reluctant to break the kiss. “We have to,” Belle said quietly. “We have to?” Brian asked with confusion. His whole mind was a jumble and he could only think of the kiss they had just shared. A kiss like he had never had before in his life. “We have to find a way to have a future together.” She looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Brian, I don’t want to lose you.” He traced a finger down her cheek lightly and she moved her face into his hand. “I don’t want to lose you either. I won’t let it happen.” He thought for a moment. “This is something special that we have Belle and we can’t let it get away.” “You are special Brian. To me. But how can we work this out? We are going in opposite directions tomorrow.” Brian shrugged. “I don’t know Belle.” He had no solutions but there had to be one. In the short space of time he had known Belle she had become too important to him to not find one. “We’ll find something.” They talked about their next month’s plans and Brian felt more down by the minute. Neither one of them would be anywhere close to the other. He felt frustrated that they wouldn’t be able to be together, but he had confidence that somehow they would work something out. He looked down at her noticing the frown on her face and wished she didn’t feel like that. He leaned down to kiss away the frown and what began as a simple gesture turned into another heated kiss between the two of them, both of them breathing heavily as they finally moved apart. Brian lay his forehead on hers, unwilling to break the contact. He wanted more, so much more, but he knew it was far too early in their relationship to move on. “Would you like a coffee?” he asked her, needing the distraction to calm his body. She nodded slowly. “That would be nice.” They talked well into the night, neither one of them wanting to dwell on their separation or future. Right now was what mattered and as time went by, Brian found himself falling for her more and more. They had so much in common, while at the same time many differences to compliment each other’s personalities. She was his perfect match. Eventually, after making plans for the next morning before they both had to leave, Brian took Belle to her room. Another searing kiss and many short sweet kisses later he said goodnight, standing at her door for long moments after she had closed the door. A lingering feeling of foreboding crept in but he pushed it away, preferring to delight in the sensations of how he had felt with Belle. He licked his lips as he walked to his room that he shared with Nick, and his lips still tingled. He could almost feel Belles lips on his, almost taste her. He hoped Nick was asleep because he sure wasn’t up to the third degree from him tonight. He just wanted to lie in his bed reliving the night until he fell into a dream filled sleep of Belle’s smiling face. Quietly he unlocked the door and was pleased to find Nick sound asleep. He changed as quietly as he could and dropped into bed, smiling to himself the whole time. They would make it work, he would see to it. ************ Brian woke the next morning with a smile on his face. He sat up and hugged his knees, looking out the window at the sun shining on the snow below. Everything seemed right. He had dreamt about Belle the two of them walking together, stopping for the occasional kiss now and then before deepening the kiss and moving on. They had played and laughed and kissed in his dreams and he wanted to make them real this morning. “Finally you are awake,” came Nick’s voice making Brian groan as he rolled his eyes. Here comes the third degree, he thought. “What happened last night? I waited up but you were out so late I fell asleep.” Thank goodness, Brian thought. “Nothing happened.” He said to Nick then chuckled. “Well, something happened, we went to dinner and had a lovely time, but other than that nothing.” “What about the boyfriend?” Nick asked him. “EX boyfriend Nick.” Brian emphasised. Nick looked at him sceptically. “Are you sure?” he asked. Brian forced himself to remember Nick was only 16 and thought about his answer. He wanted to scream at him and say yes he was sure and mind his own business, but Nick was younger and he had to curb his reply. He sighed. “Yeah Nick, I believe her. I told you he was all wrong for her and he would hurt her and in reality that’s what he did. That’s why she kept pushing me away when we first me.” “And now?” Nick asked, his eyes widening. “Did you kiss her?” Brian blushed when Nick asked. “You did didn’t you? You dawg you!” He eyed him again. “Was it good?” he asked with the curiosity of a sixteen year old. “Nick!” “It was wasn’t it? Woo hoo,” Nick whooped. “When are you going to see her again?” At that question Brian sighed sadly. “This morning, and then we don’t know when. She is off to Canada to film a movie next week and you know our schedule.” He looked off into the distance. “We’re going to work something out. I have to,” he continued determinedly. “Now I am going to get ready and go and see her before we have to take off.” He jumped out of his bed and headed for the shower, packing all his things so he would only have to come back and collect them when it was time to leave, making all his time free to spend with Belle. Before he knew it he was out the door striding to Belle’s room. When he got there, the cleaner was already in the room vacuuming the carpet with a noisy machine. “Excuse me,” Brian yelled to get the woman’s attention. She looked up with a glum expression and turned the vacuum off. “Do you know where the girl who is in this room is?” She shrugged saying something about her being gone. Brian frowned. Gone? How could she be gone? They had plans this morning. He stood in the room wondering what to do and the woman put the vacuum cleaner back on. He walked out of the room wandering in no particular direction before heading towards the front desk to see if there was a message for him telling him to meet her somewhere. “No sir, I am sorry, but she checked out this morning, early. I don’t know where she went.” Brian’s heart fell and disappointment flooded through him. How could she leave without saying something to him? Did he mean so little to her? He had thought there was something special between them. Was it all one sided? “Is your name Brian Littrell,” the man asked him. Brian nodded his head in a daze. “There is a letter here for you sir, she left it here before she left, asking me to make sure you got it.” He held the letter out to Brian and he tore it out of his hand mumbling thank you to him before turning to walk away. Where should he go to read this he wondered? Without even realising it he has wandered to the lounge in front of the fire they had shared the night before. He sat down and with trembling fingers he held the envelope in front of him. His name was written in flowing text and he sat looking at it for some time. Finally he tore the envelope open and took out the letter. He gazed at it, not taking anything into his head. His finger traced over her name at the bottom and he ached inside that she wasn’t with him. Why would she just leave? He shook his head and focussed on the letter. Dear Brian, I don’t know what to say, so I will just come out and say it. I’m sorry. So sorry that I had to leave you without a word, but the decision to leave was totally out of my control. Believe me when I say it was not what I wanted to do. Last night, no the last three days, but especially last night has been the best time I have had in such a long time, and I know you were the reason for that. Brian you are so very special to me in so many ways. You have helped me to get over the worst time in my life and at the same time I have opened my heart again and I have let you in. You are in my heart and will always be there. I pray we will find a way to make something work between us, because my heart tells me you are my future. The reason I have left without a word is the reason we see difficulties in our future, the same ones we discussed last night. All last evening, while I was with you having the best time, my publicist was trying to contact me to let me know she would be here in the morning to take me to an important meeting and interview. She arrived this morning and I had no choice but to go. I have barely had time to write this letter to you, but this is the one thing I have insisted on. The thought that you might have thought I would just leave without a word would tear my up inside. You deserve this letter at the very least, even though I wanted to come and say goodbye to you personally. I miss you already. Please when you get a chance to, ring me so we can talk. I long to feel your arms around me and taste your sweet kisses, but right now it is not meant to be. I’m scared Brian. You already mean so much to me even after such a short space in time, but I feel it all slipping away. Please tell me we can overcome this. I’ll be back home in a day or two awaiting your call. I have to go now. I’m sorry. Love Belle Brian sat stunned as he read the letter, but took heart in the fact that she had written it to him. He read it over and over again, rubbing his fingers over her words, taking it all in and vowed to ring her as soon as he could. It was not going to be easy but he would find a way for them to be together. So became the relationship between Brian and Belle. A phone call here, a weekend there, letters written, gifts sent. When they were together everything in the world was right, but each goodbye was the most painful they ever felt. Brian vowed one day he would make things right between them. Believing that kept them both going. It wasn’t what they wanted, but it was all they had. They hoped maybe one day they could have it all. |