Chapter 13

Brian asked me if I would like to come back to his place for a while, emphasising just to talk some more. We had a lot of catching up to do, so I agreed it would be a good idea. He rang his bodyguard and told him he was going straight home, so he wouldn't be needed for now. Things weren't that bad back home in USA yet, but they were getting that way. But in Europe they needed their bodyguards. I still found that extremely amusing.

"Would you like a drink?" he asked when we walked in, He threw his keys and jacket on a stand in the entry way and led me inside.

I was impressed. He had bought this house with the help of his mom a little while ago. It was in a gated community meaning it was in the up market range. But it was still a nice unassuming house and surprisingly neatly kept. "Wait till you see the office and…." He stopped short of what he was going to say and I guessed it was bedroom. "...Well, it's messy," he finished off.

I smiled and let him take me on a tour. As we walked past the bedroom I peered in, curious as to what it was like, compared to the Brian I knew before. I spotted the photo I had given Brian for Christmas on the bedside table. "Brian" I cried out, walking into the room. Brian had to stop suddenly and turned back to me. He stopped at the doorway and leaned against it watching me. "You kept the photo." I exclaimed.

"Yeah. I kept it." It looked well worn, like it had been packed a lot. I held it to myself and looked at him. "You may not believe me. But I took it everywhere with me. It was the first thing I always packed."

"Are you serious?" I couldn't believe it in fact. I mean during some of that time he had a girlfriend. But I didn't want to bring her up.

"Yes Sue, I am serious." He seemed uncomfortable talking about it, so I took another look at it and put it back on the dresser. I didn't need to look at the photo to remember it, because I had an identical one myself, sitting on my bedside table at home too. I was just surprised Brian still had this one, and it was still so special to him.

I walked towards him and he moved to let me out, sighing as I walked past. He made no more mention of the photo and continued his tour. He confused me.

Out the back of course was the essential basketball hoop. "Wanna play?" he asked me.

"Sure. I still reckon I could beat you." I challenged him. I was glad I was casually dressed.

"No way," he answered me and walked into the back of the garage to get a basketball out. He bounced it to me and we began what became a struggle between the two of us.

Many times I found myself bumping into Brian in the fight to get the ball, causing heat to pool in my belly like it had so many years ago. I forced the feeling away each time to keep playing. By the end of the game, I actually won, which did surprise me, but seeing the score was so close I wondered if Brian might have let me win. Normally fiercely competitive, he had also said he was desperate to win me back, so I wasn't sure.

"Well, you haven't forgotten how to play." He said looking surprised, as he bounced the ball back to the garage before returning.

"Jac, Kerry and I were on the team back home. We have kept up our skills," I winked at him. He hadn't known this. There was a lot he didn't know.

"Lets go inside and talk," he said quietly, I almost didn't hear him.

I nodded. "Yeah, that's a good idea."

"Would you like that drink now?" he asked when we walked in.

"Yeah, I would, thanks." I followed Brian into his kitchen and surveyed the room. It looked like I would expect his kitchen to look like. There were the odd few items on the benches, which were a pale blue in colour. I noticed a big cookie jar in the corner and smiled. His mom always had one like that too. He opened the fridge and I looked inside as I stood behind him. Looking in the fridge was better than looking at his butt sticking out, making my fingers itch to touch him. Typical single guy type fridge. I chuckled to myself. He took out some juice asking me if that would be okay. He then indicated we go to the living room.

I sat down on one of the single seater lounge chairs. My choice told him I intended to keep this on a non personal level at this stage. I had to separate myself from him, or I would give in to him, I knew it. Being in his company again was harder than I expected to stay elusive.

We spent the afternoon talking about what the two of us had been doing in the last four and a half years. Brian told me all about the life they had been living. I thought this might have been a good time to mention this couldn't be good for his heart, but decided to wait a while. I sensed if I mentioned it now, his guard would go up and he would be stubborn about things and refuse.

"You'll have to meet the guys Sue, they are the best." He said to me after talking about them for a while. I could tell he loved them like brothers, he was very proud of them.

"Yeah, maybe," I answered looking away from him playing with the glass in my hand, pretending to be fascinated with it. I didn't want to meet them, not yet. I was still getting used to seeing Brian again.

"Maybe? Sue what's wrong? Don't you want to meet them?"

I ran my finger around the edge of the glass. "Nothing's wrong."

Brian frowned. "But they want to meet you. I have told them so much about you. They know so much about you."

"I don't know if I want to meet them Brian." I answered him honestly, looking him in the eye as I said it.

"Why ever not?" he asked totally unaware of how I felt. I could see his confusion.

"They took you away from me Brian. I don't want to meet them," I answered quietly, wondering if Brian had even heard me. I looked away quickly, not wanting to meet his eyes.

He was at my side in an instant. "Sue, they didn't take me away from you. It was me. I left you and even though I would not have declined their offer, it wasn't them that stopped me from seeing you, from keeping in contact with you." He took my hand and leaned in close and I was fast losing my resolve to stay impersonal today. "I was the one at fault. Not them, please don't blame them."

"I can't help it Brian. Your mum kept telling me how nice they are, but I couldn't help the feeling of resentment I felt towards them. I can't forget it that fast. I needed something to blame." I hesitated. "I didn't want to blame you."

"But I was the one you should have blamed."

"But Brian, I loved you too much. In my eyes you could do no wrong," I admitted to him.

He smiled sadly. "Loved?" He took a wavering breath. "Is that in the past tense?"

I grinned at him trying to make him feel a little better. "Well, that's for you to find out isn't it."

Now he smiled back. "I guess it is. And I will find out" he promised me. "But what do you say Sue? Will you come and meet the guys?"

I sighed I still wasn't sure. "Okay. On one condition."

"What's that? Anything you want."

"We take Kerry and Jac with us. I don't want to go alone."

"You won't be alone Sue, I'll be with you. But sure, they can come too. Now, how about dinner. Would you like to go out for dinner or have something here?

"Here sounds good." I told him. His smile now lit up his face, and thankfully he stood up. I wasn't going to be able to resist him for much longer. I wanted him to kiss me, I wouldn't have resisted.

We both cooked a meal together that night and I found myself imagining what it would be like to do this every night. I sighed happily at the thought then pulled myself up, knowing that wasn't the way it was, not yet anyway.

Brian took me for a walk by the lake near his house after dinner in the moonlight. It felt so good to be walking with him, and when he took my hand gently in his, I didn't try and pull it away. He looked at me and smiled his thanks. It felt nice, and I imagined this is what true courting would be like, because in reality that is what he was doing.

We didn't say a lot while we walked, just enjoying each others company and I knew I was falling deeper in love with him again. I hadn't known it would be possible, but it was happening.

Once we returned he suggested he should take me back to the apartment, which I agreed would be a good idea. I had a lot to think about and I needed to do that without him being near me. So he drove me home and walked me to the door.

"Well, goodnight Sue." He was unsure of what he should do next.

"Goodnight Brian, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, 11 in the morning okay?"

"Yep. We'll be ready."

He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek and then turned to walk away. He turned to look at me when he got to the elevator, sending me a cheeky grin and a wave. Once he was gone I put my hand to my cheek. My first kiss from Brian in such a long time.

I shook my head and unlocked the door to the apartment. I walked in and both Jac and Kerry were watching some TV, pizza boxes scattered all over the table, a pile of tourist books strewn over the floor.

"SUE! How did it go?" Jac was up and by my side the instant she saw me walk in, her eyes lighting up.

"It was okay." I said noncommittally.

"Get outta here. Tell us about it," Kerry said, joining us and hitting me on the arm.

"Ouch. Kerry you are getting violent in your old age. What did you two do today, sorry for leaving you all day," I said hedging, trying not to laugh as I did so.

"Sue!" Jac screamed out hitting my other arm. "Tell us. How did it go?"

"Ouch," I laughed. "Okay. I'll tell you, just let me get further than the door." They all but dragged me into the living room and threw me on the lounge. "Hey, I want to get a drink. Coffee sounds good."

"Stuff the coffee, tell us," Kerry said and I burst out laughing at her.

"Kerry, that's not like you."

"You know Jac, things must have went well, she isn't normally so annoying." Kerry added and I kept laughing. "Look at her, she's laughing, there is a new aura around her. She's happy. Oh My God! What's he done with the old Sue. But I like this one."

Jac stood in front of me and looked down at me. I knew I had a goofy grin on my face, I couldn't help it. "You're right, she has. So Sue, spill, what happened?"

"I wonder what he is doing now?" I suddenly said out of the blue and Jac and Kerry laughed at me.

"It went well," Jac concluded. "So are you going to tell us?"

So I proceeded to tell them both of the day we had had, how I warned him I wasn't going to just fall back into his arms, but I still loved him. He said he loved me, but he had to prove his love and his commitment to me. I couldn't go in to this to have him break my heart again.

"Did he kiss you?" Jac asked.

"No, At first I made it clear I wanted no intimacy at all. He took my hand at the coffee shop and I took it away when the waitress came and put them in my lap. He understood what I meant."

"But you wanted him to, didn't you?"

"Oh yeah, more than anything." I sighed and they laughed at me yet again. "Oh, and I made plans for us tomorrow, hope you didn't make plans.

"Nothing that can't be changed," Kerry said. "What are we doing?"

"Brian is picking us up at 11 and we are going to meet the guys. He said he would ring then and we could have a Barbeque at his house."

"Cool," was Kerry's reply. "I get to meet this wonderful Brian at last."

"Oh do I have to see Kevin again?" was Jac's answer. She rolled her eyes.

I giggled at the two of them. Kerry was right, I felt so much more at peace, and so happy. For the first time in a long time I felt truly happy. We all talked well into the night, before deciding we better get some sleep for the big day meeting the rest of the Backstreet Boys tomorrow. All that mattered to me though, was that I would be with Brian again.

Chapter 14
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