Kevin and I faced my father across the library. A myriad of leather bound books lined the walls, floor to ceiling, and as the late evening sunlight streamed in through the centuries old stained glass window panes it cast a rainbow of colours over the huge old Persian rug that covered the floor. Deep comfortable, but well worn chesterfield lounges and chairs where positioned around the fireplace, that because it was summer lay dormant, and my father's huge antique desk sat in the corner of the room was covered with his papers. An old portrait of my great grandfather in his youth looked imposingly down on us from over the fireplace. The room was warm, comfortable and lived in. It was one of my favourite rooms and when home, I spent a lot of time in here. My father was a tall man, hard muscled and fit from long hours in the saddle. He was a strikingly handsome man still, with a head of silvery grey hair. He stood with his back to the fireplace, hands clasped behind his back, as his piercingly blue eyes nailed both Kevin and I to the spot.
'Well Jacqueline?'
' Well daddy this is Kevin Richardson. My husband.' Kevin let go of my hand and moved forward to my father offering his hand, which my father shook although not enthusiastically, his manners we such that he wouldn't have offered Kevin the slight of refusing to shake his hand.
'I'm sorry about the circumstances of our meeting sir.' Kevin said apologised nervously, his southern drawl was more evident than normal. My father looked Kevin up and down, seemed to decide he didn't dislike what he saw and said not unkindly 'Sit down you two.' We did as we were told, sitting close together on the sofa, Kevin picked up my hand and held it. I gave him a slight reassuring squeeze. 'Like a drink you two?' he asked as he mixed himself a whisky and soda. 'Please daddy my usual.'
'Gin and tonic it is then. Kevin ?'
'I'll have what you're having, thank you sir.' We accepted our drinks and he sat down in front of us.
'How's that eye Jacqueline?' My father asked as he sipped his drink, while looking over the rim of his glass.
'I'll live, but it wasn't the most pleasant experience of my life.' I sighed swirling the ice around in my glass.
'Jacqueline dearest what did you expect. A clandestine wedding on the spur of the moment to someone you had known only hours before, all the while under the influence of alcohol, and with half of Fleet Street following your every move. A wee bit naive weren't you?'
'Yes I was, but it's done now. Things hopefully will settle down, some other poor sod will have their devoted attention.' I said hopefully.
'Till your next escapade dearest?' he looked at me shrewdly. 'Or maybe you've finally learnt the lesson the hard way?'
'Well I'll not forget this in a hurry if that's what you mean.' I stood placed my glass on the table and paced, before walking over to a shelf where I pulled a book out and studied it's cover. 'I try daddy I really do, then I don't know what happens, it's like I've two personalities. The devil in me comes to the fore and I find myself doing something I had no intentions of doing. But they were so hurtful to me when I first stated acting, I guess I just want to show them, well if that's what you think I'm like, here keep on believing it, so I give them what they want. I try to keep the real me private. You know I've never been comfortable with using my title. I feel like it's a chain around my neck, dragging me back to a life I don't want to lead, a life that isn't me. I can't play this role daddy, I can't be the lady of the manor, and I'm not Richard. As much as I love this old pile, and as much as it's in my blood, the expectation of how I should behave suffocates me. I can't do this, I just can't .'
Kevin watched Jac touched by this sudden vulnerability she was showing. He turned and caught Jac's father watching him but he didn't look away, he wouldn't deny this woman intrigued him, instead he turned his gaze back to Jac.
'I don't ask you to live this life dearest, I just ask you to maybe not be as wild, to think a bit more before you act, to consider your actions. I admit I was furious to wake to those headlines, and while I'm still not enthused about the circumstances of this marriage, I guess there's not much I can do but accept it and back you both up, if this is what you both truly want. You know I've always supported you in whatever you have wanted out of life dearest, that won't ever change. Now enough of the lectures, I suppose I should get to know your young man, Jacqueline tells me you ride Kevin.' I breathed a sigh of relief as he changed the subject. Horses were a passion of my fathers.
'Yes sir, well I haven't had the chance to ride for a long while, but I do love to ride.'
'You're from Kentucky Jacqueline told me?'
'Yes sir, I am.' Kevin shifted about nervously under my father's gaze. Again I squeezed his hand, and he flashed me that quick smile of his, but his eyes were still anxious. 'I'm from Lexington originally, but I now live in Orlando Florida.'
' Kentucky has an incredible horse breeding reputation.' My father said as he seized upon his favourite subject. 'We have an excellent stable here at Beauleigh, you're welcome to make use of it. Jacqueline has a very good seat on a horse...'
'Daddy!' I interrupted. 'You've made me seem like a chair, stop it, Kevin don't listen to him.' I laughed embarrassed.
Kevin grinned. 'I would love to take you up. on your offer sir. I promise to make the most of it while I'm here. Riding quality horseflesh will be like being in heaven.'
'Arh a man after my own heart. Kevin lad, stop calling me sir. Please call me Miles, that is far more comfortable than being called sir. Sir makes one feel all too ancient. Jacqueline tells me your friends are also coming down for a visit?'
'Yes Miles, Jac thought it would be a good opportunity for everyone to get to know one another better.'
'That's a capital idea Jac.'
'Yes daddy, and you'll behave as well. No stories about great uncle Louis's ghost, or Lady Margaret's headless one either, and no more horse talk, you've a one track mind. So don't you encourage him Kev, he's like a cracked record when he starts. Everyone will be here in time for dinner. Kerry's coming down as well, so no arguing with her over the cricket. We know the Aussie's will beat us soundly, so don't you bait her.'
'I promise to be on my best behaviour dearest, maybe you could take lessons.' My father said with a smile. 'Now take your young man and show him about the old place, I'm sure Williams would have seen to having your luggage taken to your room. We'll meet again at dinner Kevin, it's all very informal here, no dressing up unless we really have to.'
I walked over and kissed my father on his cheek. 'Thanks for being so understanding Daddy, we'll leave you in peace now, we'll see you at dinner.'
Walking out into the old great hall, Kevin's eyes looked everywhere as he took in the history of the place. Various ancient tapestries and banners lined the walls, and has we walked along the gallery to my room he admired the collection of artworks that graced the walls, most of them were family portraits.
'This is the family rogue's gallery. 'I laughed. 'There have been pirates, smugglers, rebels, and the odd gambler who have thrown away the family fortunes. They were a motley crew my ancestors, but interesting an interesting bunch. But the one constant thing that runs through the generations is the wild blood that's been the downfall of many of us. I'm lucky I live in this century, otherwise I'd have been considered a bad egg, persona non grata. As it is I'm considered the black sheep by the county. If it wasn't for daddy's pull I swear they'd ostracise me, but they daren't for risk of offending him. The Earl's daughter is nothing but a common actress they say.' I gave a bitter laugh.
' I hate their upper class pretensions, it's nothing but humbug. Lucky Richard makes up for my deficiencies, he's terribly good form and all that. He's a dear really, but just a trifle bit stuffy.'
Kevin looked confused but sympathetic.' But your good at what you do? Doesn't that count for anything?'
'It should do, but no. Oh to my face everyone's as sweet as pie. But I've let the side down, don't you see. I've crossed the line, even in this day and age the snobbery is rampant. I've a foot in both worlds, accepted by a small few in each of them. But I will gain acceptance by my peers, I'm determined to prove I'm not play acting. I am good at my craft. I love it and I work damned hard at it. Acting isn't a hobby for me Kevin, it's a passion. That's why I've stuck to theatre work and the low budget independent films. They might not be high profile blockbusters that rake in the Hollywood dollars, but they are quality movies, with quality actors. And I'm learning so much about acting this way.'
He looked sideways again at this puzzle of a woman walking beside him. She seemed fragile, vulnerable, and yet she had wrapped herself in this protective shell of toughness, which he was beginning to suspect was all pretence as she drew a veil over her true self for fear of the world hurting her. But like the sun emerging from a cloud on a rainy day she smiled suddenly and it lit up her face, banishing her moment of introspection like waving away a spider's web from an darkened corner and he found himself feeling strangely protective of her.
I came to a halt bedside a large oak door. 'This is the Queen Elizabeth room, it's my room.' I pushed open the heavy door and swept into the room. 'It was rumoured that Queen Elizabeth the first spent a night here, hence the name. Who knows whether she did or not, she's said to have spent a night in every palace, castle and manor in England. A visit from her court would terrify the lord she chose to visit. It could eat up a whole year of the estate's revenues to feed the hoards of hangers on that accompanied her. So it's probably all bunkum, but a nice story all the same.' I turned and with I open arms said 'So here we are, my home away from home.'
Kevin walked to the window and pulled aside a thick heavy velvet drape. He looked over the expanse of parkland that spread beyond the moat. 'You've a beautiful home Jac.'
'I don't live here now, I've a house in Notting Hill, in London. I come down here once a month maybe when I'm in England. I find London, much more suited to my lifestyle.' I sat down on the bed and kicked of my shoes. Flopping back with a deep sigh and resting my head on my elbow, I waved in the direction of the bathroom as I watched Kevin look about him. 'The bathroom's through there. There's space in the wardrobe and the chest of drawers for your clothes. If you want to clean up before the others get here feel free.'
Kevin sat down on the bed beside me, and with a shy half smile said. 'It's like being inside a fairytale.' I sat up and asked him. 'What being here, or us finding ourselves married?'
He flopped back along side of me. 'Yeah probably a bit both, it all seems like a dream.'
'Yeah your worst nightmare' I said only half jokingly.
He reached up and pulled me down so we were eye to eye. 'No my worse night mare is waking up married to Marilyn Manson.' He flashed me that quick smile of his, but he was quickly serious. ' Oh Jac, both of us in our right state of mind wouldn't have got married like we did. I'll not deny I was, and still do find you attractive and intriguing. And I'm drawn to you. But you're not my worst nightmare. He leaned in and kissed me softly. ' Not by any means.' He jumped up suddenly. 'I'm going to freshen up now, I won't be long.'
'Um ok Kev.' I lay back down and touched a finger to my lips as I stared pensively at the ceiling. Even after his touch had left them the sensation of his gentle caress was still lingering, and I was no clearer in my mind about him than before.
Trying to get his head around his feelings for Jac, Kevin let the water run over him. Soaping up his hair, he sighed. She was the most intriguing and fascinating woman he'd ever met. Possessed of multi faceted personality that whichever way she turned, he saw another side of her and all in this short time he had known her. Their attraction to one another was obvious to them both, but the circumstance they found themselves in, had put a constraint in their budding relationship, neither wanting to overstep the mark now that they had both agreed to this masquerade. He sighed inwardly again as he rinsed the soap out of his hair. No doubt things would sort themselves out.
Life had a habit of that, whether one wanted it that way or not.