The phone rang and I glared at it. I didn't want to answer it but I dragged myself up to reach out for it. I had been in a funk for some obscure reason for days now, and really wasn't up to talking to anyone right now.

"Hello," I said distractedly into the receiver.

"Hi Sue. How are you," came the bright cheery voice on the other end. It was the one voice that always cheered me up. Except this time.

"Hi Brian," I said into the phone. I sighed and curled the phone cord around my finger distractedly.

"Hey what's up with my best girl?"

"Nothing, just not up to much conversation right now."

"Aww, come on, I wanted to know if you would come shopping with me."

"Oh Brian, I really don't feel up to shopping."

"Please Sue, I need your help with something. It's really important."

"Important?"

"Yeah, I'll tell you when you get here. Meet me outside the jewellers at the mall okay? See ya there," He said and hung up before I could answer him.

Damn! The Jeweller's! He was probably going to ask my opinion on something for his girlfriend Jessie. I really wasn't in the mood to help him do something like that. I would do anything for him, but gee, not this. For starters I didn't like this girl, and to know she was his girlfriend killed me. I was also feeling really strange about Brian lately. I knew what it was, I just wasn't willing to admit it. I probably wouldn't like any girl Brian had as a girlfriend, because quite simply, none of them were good enough for him. He had to be so careful.

Years ago, when we were both young at school, I fancied I would one day be his girlfriend. It never happened but he was one of my closest friends. We would always ring one another when we needed someone to talk to, someone to lend a shoulder when needed. Brian became famous as a Backstreet Boy, but to me he would always be Freckles. He hated those freckles he had sprinkled across his nose, but to me they were the cutest things. I smiled at my recollection of every time I called him that.

But being a Backstreet Boy also put barriers between us, distance being the biggest one of all. As I drove myself to the Mall I thought of all that had happened to Brian since he left home and moved to Orlando. I eventually moved there too, but not to follow him. My job had me moved there, so it had been a welcome move. I still saw Brian, I was still his best friend, and he mine, but the barriers were still there. I had seen girlfriends come and go, but this latest one was the one he had the longest, and the one I disliked the most. I wondered why that was.

I parked my car and with a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach, I walked towards the jewellers. Brian stood there waiting for me, looking in the opposite direction. I stopped and admired him for a moment before walking towards him. He was, as usual when meeting me, casually dressed, but looking very attractive. He always did. As I walked towards him he turned and saw me. The smile he gave me, made me forget the mood I was in. It always did. He had a knack of making me forget everything simply with his smile. It lit up my entire world.

"There you are," he said when I reached him. He grabbed my hand and pulled me in for a hug. I returned the hug, as I always did, this time with a feeling of….. I didn't know what. I felt strange and pulled away quickly.

"What's up Sue? You said you didn't feel like talking before? You been in a blue funk?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, sort of. I don't know why. Just one of those things. I'll get over it. So what are we here for?"

He looked at me warily. "Um, I want you to help me pick something out."

"Oh? What? A necklace? A bracelet?"

"No. A ring." He looked away, then back again, quickly telling me, "an engagement ring."

I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, and I had to look away. "I didn't know things were that serious Brian. Are you sure?" My heart ached when I heard him say those words.

He took a deep breath. "Yes, I'm sure. She means the world to me."

I stood there slowly moving my head from side to side. "I don't know if I should help you with this Brian. I mean this is something personal." I didn't want to be picking a ring that I liked for her.

"I need your help Sue. Please? I have no idea. I want to know what you like."

The pleading look in his eyes was always my undoing. "Okay Brian, but let it go on the record that I don't like this idea."

He grinned at me. "Okay, but I just want you to pick something you like. I'll decide which one. I want it to be perfect for her," he said and I cringed.

What followed was an afternoon of mixed emotions for me. I felt happy for Brian that he felt so strongly and so happy with this girl that he wanted to marry her. Ugh! I couldn't even say her name, I had better get used to it soon I thought. I was sad, because I knew this would spell the end of the friendship we shared. I mean what wife would want her husband to keep being best friends with a girl from his childhood. Not many, I was sure. I laughed a lot with Brian, because even through all this, Brian was being his usual goofy self. But deep down I felt distressed. I found myself imagining that this was my engagement ring Brian was buying, and rather than pick something the total opposite to what I liked, I chose the exact ring that I would one day like to receive myself. Brian had chosen another one, but when he saw how much I liked this one, he bought it, telling the assistant he would bring it back for sizing after he had given it to his girl.

"Thanks for that Sue, I just know she is going to love it." Brian said as we walked out, the ring box tightly in his grasp.

"Brian, what girl wouldn't? She would have to be crazy not to, especially with a proposal from you." I said to him enthusiastically. He looked a little worried and I wanted to encourage him. I couldn't believe I was.

"Let me make it up to you. Have dinner with me. Lets walk down to that little Italian restaurant down the road."

"Don't you have something to do with that?" I asked indicating the ring.

"Not yet. I have time for dinner at least. Come on." He said taking my hand, not giving me a chance to say no. We started walking away from the mall and towards our favourite restaurant.

During the meal Brian and I acted the same as we always used to. I had forgotten about the job Brian had asked me for help with and we both joked and laughed as we always did, stopped and talked about life seriously at other times. He got me up to date with the groups activities and I marvelled at how he managed to stay sane at times. But when he started to nervously play with the ring box he had taken out of his pocket again, my heart became heavy again.

"Do you think she will say yes?" he asked me.

I was taken aback. How would I know if she would? I didn't know what their life was like. "Brian, why wouldn't she? You are a wonderful person, full of love and caring. She would be crazy to say no." I had to ask, "Do you love her?"

"Oh yeah, I love her. More than anything." My heart sank. "I don't know. Maybe she isn't ready. Maybe she doesn't know how I feel." His eyes were burning into mine, questioning me.

I shrugged. Who was I to give him advise on his life with another woman. "I guess all you can do is ask Brian." I said playing with the edge of the tablecloth. Tears were beginning to burn the back of my eyelids, but I couldn't let him see how I felt.

"Yeah, I guess you are right." He took a deep breath and let it out. He took my hands in his and looked deep in to my eyes and I frowned. God please don't practise on me I thought to myself. "So Sue. How about it?"

I looked at him, my brows close together in utter confusion. "How about what Brian?"

He closed his eyes, and then looked at me with a look I had never seen in his eyes. There was a love shining from them, a desire I had always wanted to see. Then he spoke the words, "Sue. Will you marry me?"

I was sure my jaw was on the floor, my eyes nearly popping out of my head. I couldn't speak. I just sat there looking at Brian as if he was from another planet. I closed my eyes and shook my head. No, I was hearing things. I had to be. "What did you say?" I finally asked him.

"I said. Sue, will you marry me?"

I laughed. "That's what I thought you said." I was grinning now, but my mind was racing. He couldn't really mean this could he. No he was practising. "Cut it out Brian, it's not nice to use me as a guinea pig for Jessie." Or get my hopes up I added silently.

"Jessie and I split up over a month ago."

"What?" Why hadn't I heard about this?

"We split up."

"But why?"

"Because I realised I was in love with someone else." He looked at me again, his gaze burning into me. "I love you Sue."

I couldn't believe I was hearing this. Without admitting it even to myself, I had dreamt of this moment for so long. "You're serious?"

He grinned kind of sadly. "Yes I'm serious." He stopped and looked away, sighing as he did. "I'm sorry Sue. I shouldn't have come out and asked you like that. I told you I didn't know how you felt about me."

"Brian." He looked at me again. I smiled softly at him. "Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, I'll marry you."

Now it was his turn to look as if he was in shock. "Do you mean it?"

"Yes, I mean it. But lets go home and talk about it. Good idea?"

"Very good idea, but you'll have to drive me. Nick brought me before. I was talking to him about us," he looked nervously at me when he confessed that, "and he told me to go for it. He left me without a car."

"That's okay, I'll take you to your place. We can talk there."

He got up and walked to my side, taking my hand. It felt nice there, and a warm tingle was creeping up from my hand, up my arm and through my whole body. When we got to my car he turned me in his arms. "I do love you Sue. I think I always have." His lips came down on mine softly and he kissed me gently.

I closed my eyes and savoured the feelings going through me. When he pulled away my eyes stayed closed and my breathing was heavy. My whole body felt ignited with a liquid fire and it felt good.

"Sue?" Brian said to me, concern in his voice.

My eyelids fluttered open and I looked longingly at Brian. "Do that again Brian." I whispered to him. Slowly, Brian moved his head down and kissed me again. "I love you too Brian," I said to him when he moved away. He smiled sweetly at me and then moved away to help me in the car. He took the keys and drove, which I think in the state I was in, was a good idea. The drive to his place, in the opposite direction to mine, I spent trying to make sense of what had happened this evening.

At Brian's place we both stalled the inevitable conversation. Brian made us a coffee and I simply watched him move about his kitchen as he did. Then he carried two steaming cups into the living room where he indicated I sit on the lounge. He handed me my cup of coffee and I blew the steam, using that as an excuse not to talk yet. Brian sat next to me, the only contact at this stage was where our legs touched as we sat. We drank our coffee in silence, both of us deep in thought. I was roused from my thoughts when Brian took the empty cup away from me and sat it on the coffee table. I hadn't even realised I had finished it.

He sat back down and pulled me into his arms. I felt totally overcome with love and desire sitting in his arms like this. I wanted him. I had never wanted Brian like this before, but now it was as if my life depended on it. But we had to talk first. He pulled the ring box out of his pocket again.

"I never gave this to you before, so I am going to ask you again, this time properly. And I have given you more time to think."

I smiled to myself. I knew what the answer was going to be. But I held my tongue and let him speak. He sat up and got off the lounge, kneeling on one knee, and took my hand in his. "Sue, today has probably been the biggest surprise to you, but I am serious when I ask you this." He paused and took a steadying breath. "I love you with all my heart. I have loved you for a long time. I have just never had the courage to tell you for fear of ruining our friendship. But all along I have known. This past month I have been building up the courage to ask you if you would consider being with me forever. If you would be my wife." He paused again. "So now I am asking you. Sue, will you marry me?"

"Yes Brian. I will marry you." I said to him almost in a whisper not even hesitating.

Brian took the ring out of the box and took my hand. He slid the ring on my finger telling me he loved me as he did. He kissed my hand and came back up to the lounge to sit with me, pulling me into his arms as he did. I didn't hesitate to lift my lips to his, letting him kiss me deeply when he did. I wanted it all from him.

Hesitantly at first, Brian's hands began to wander. When I moaned my approval, he became bolder and more willing to explore these new exciting sensations. As he kissed me, his mouth and tongue were sending my mind into a spiral of built up needs finally being unleashed. His hands were only magnifying the feelings, a need so strong I thought I would explode.

We pulled apart, our breathing heavy. I looked up into Brian's eyes and saw the raw desire in them. "I want you Brian," I said at the same time he uttered the same words to me.

"Are you sure Sue?" I nodded my head in answer. I couldn't speak. Brian got off the lounge and held his hand out to mine, pulling me off the lounge and into his arms. "I never thought this day would ever happen, and now that it is here I just want you so badly. I need you Sue."

I still couldn't speak, I just wanted his lips on mine. I rained tiny kisses all over his face urgently and he leaned down and whispered in my ear. "We have all night Sue. We have the rest of our lives. I want this first time to be special."

That was almost my undoing, but Brian stepped back and took my hand in his again, this time leading me to his bedroom. I had been in this room many times before, but never for this reason. I thought when I got there I would feel suddenly shy, but I didn't, not at all. All I wanted was for Brian to love me completely. I wanted to jump into the bed and have Brian make love to me now. But his words came to mind. 'We have all night.' And it knew it would be special. The way I was feeling, it had to be special.

Brian led me to the edge of the bed and held me tightly to him, rocking slowly to the music he had left on in the living room. I was content to sway in his arms, letting everything that had happened today wash over me. I had left the house in a funk, I really hadn't wanted to go. And I hadn't wanted to pick out someone else's engagement ring. Little did I know I was choosing my own and I looked over Brian's shoulder at my left hand to admire the ring. He looked at me, raising his eyebrow. "You never said Sue. Do you really like it? Or did you choose it with someone else in mind?"

"No, I didn't Brian. I got caught up in the moment, and this was exactly what I would one day like to have been given myself."

"And you have. I wanted it to be perfect for you. I love you so much," he told me and kissed me again.

This time the kiss was hot and furious, demanding more from both of us. The beard he had been growing lately and that I loved so much tickled as we kissed, heightening the sensations I was feeling. His hands began to roam again. He cupped my breast and I pushed myself into him, tearing my lips away to moan in delight. "You like that?" he growled out.

"Yes," I hissed back at him.

"How about this?" he said as he lifted my shirt away and cupped me again, through my bra. I moaned again, this time because I wanted the tiny scrap of material gone. He understood and reached around behind me to loosen the clips, freeing me as the piece of lace fell to the floor. His eyes darkened with desire as he stood back and looked at me. "You are so beautiful." He pulled me into his arms and crushed his lips to mine. I felt his desire against me and I wiggled my hips seductively. This time he tore his lips away, groaning.

"So you like that?" I asked grinning at him.

"You devil you." He picked me up in his arms and held me over the bed, both of us laughing.

"Wait. You have too many clothes on."

"I can fix that." He lay me in the middle of the bed and stepped back, slipping his shirt off as I watched. I had seen him without a shirt before, but this time it was different. This time he was doing this only for me. As I watched him undo his jeans my heart rate quickened and I felt my body react. I ached for him and I suddenly wondered how long this hidden desire was simmering below the surface. I would think about that later, right now I just wanted to enjoy the moment.

Brian slid into the bed beside me. I didn't want to wait any longer and pulled him to me, kissing him urgently. "Brian, I want you to make love to me, now."

"Anything for you my love." He stopped. "You are the love of my life you know that?"

"I didn't." I said quietly, kissing his bearded chin.

"Now you do. Come here, let me show you my love."

We got rid of our remaining clothes in a hurry and I found Brian poised over me. I was ready for him, but he stopped and looked at me. I closed my eyes awaiting the pleasurable moment when the two of us would be one. "Look at me Sue. I want to see you when we become one for the first time." I opened my eyes and saw it. The undeniable love that radiated from his eyes as he watched me. The moment he entered me, he let out a delighted sigh and closed his eyes, pulling me close to me as his lips found mine.

Slowly and tenderly, we showed each other what we meant to the other. The love that neither one of us truly knew we had within us. My mind was a whirlwind of emotions, one of them being amazement that we had suppressed our feelings for so long. It was obvious by the way we were touching and holding each other that the love we felt ran deeply. Desire took over and all I then was aware of were the incredible feelings racing through my body. Feelings no one else had ever unsurfaced before. These were the feelings of truly being in love.

Our hands caressed the other's body, our lips not parting, only to draw a shuddering breath now and then. His feather-light touches excited me more and more. It was slow, it was loving, but it was an urgent need as well. We made love as if our lives depended on it, and in my heart I truly felt that way. I needed Brian at that moment more than anything, and when my explosive release came, followed quickly by Brian's, I felt fulfilled.

"I love you Sue," he said to me when our breathing returned to normal.

"I love you too Brian. I think I always did, I just never knew it." We would talk about how we felt later, when our newfound desires were satisfied. Right now all I wanted was to keep loving him and we did all night long.

I smiled to myself in the early hours of the morning. That had been some shopping trip. One I would always remember.

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