| Winter days became a memory and so did Colby’s isolated sojourn into the past. As March waned and April brought the rain, each day grew a bit warmer. The daffodils and crocus bloomed early as they fought against frosty mornings and stood tall in the warm sun of the early spring afternoons. Colby and Brian reached another plateau in their relationship after her seclusion in February. Somehow Brian found a way to make her talk about all the feelings that would well up inside her. He never pushed her but his gentle prodding and willingness to sit back and wait till she was ready made it easy for her to open up. A couple of days after he arrived at the house he took her to the cemetery too. It was not an easy visit even though she had spent many hours there before but Colby needed to go. She didn’t want to think about Rob and the baby lying in the cold ground. It was so final. Whereas in her mind they were still alive even though she knew it was only her memories that made it so. Brian stood by her urging her to let her anger, grief and pain out. He wouldn’t let her clam up and shrug it off. He made her talk about them and helped her see that it was okay to miss them and still feel the pain but it was also okay to love again and enjoy the new life she was creating. And he was right. It was completely different from anything she had shared with Rob. She had yet to really experience the full impact of his occupation since the group was on hiatus. But the fact that Brian had been working on some new material brought about an opportunity for her to travel to Florida so she could see first hand how they recorded an album. They met up with Kevin and Colby had her chance to be up close and personal watching Brian work. She was actually excited to see how a song was recorded. She had a ringside seat in the studio while Brian and Kevin worked laying the tracks. They spent the better part of a week there. Colby enjoyed the warmer weather compared to the fluctuating temperatures of Lexington. They spent some time by the pool soaking up the sun and in the evenings Brian took her to all his favorite restaurants. He showed her his old house, which was located in a very exclusive section outside Orlando and they hit all the hangouts that he and the rest of the group frequented during their early days together. But as much as she enjoyed the tour of his old haunts around the city, she was enthralled with the work in the studio. Colby had no idea how a song came together and she sat engrossed as Kevin and Brian worked to perfect the sound for their material. The days were long and at times very frustrating but also rewarding when you heard the sweet melodies come through the earphones. She asked many questions and the sound engineers were only too happy to answer her. Watching Brian work only confirmed to Colby that his life was anything but normal. This was no nine to five job and he told her that when they toured he was usually gone nine months out of the year. She loved him but had no idea if she could bear to have him gone for so long. This revelation only complicated further any kind of future with him. Colby still feared the age factor between them and so far there had only been that one media report. Colby knew the more they were seen in public the more curious the questions. She kept these fears to herself knowing full well she was breaking the rules of not being honest and voicing her concerns but Brian didn’t see the problem like she did. He kept saying there wasn’t one, but Colby knew the deep-seated reason for her worry. It was the one thing that could tear them apart. She loved him and the thought of him leaving her just yet was something she couldn’t deal with now. So they loved and lived each day as if there was no tomorrow. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Colby sat, her eyes closed and one earphone against her head as she sang the now familiar chorus that had been echoing through the sound booth for the last thirty minutes. Brian was working on the harmony and it was just not coming out the way he wanted. He was a perfectionist when it came to his craft and until it was right he wouldn’t give up. “It’s good to have you here, Colby,” the deep voice brought her up short as the words from the song trailed from her mouth. Kevin sat down next to her and she placed the headphones on the counter. “Thanks. I have really enjoyed watching this whole process.” Her eyes drifted to Brian who waved at her. Colby waved back feeling Kevin’s gaze on her. “He’s crazy about you, you know.” She felt her face grow warm at his words. “Really? I hadn’t noticed,” she laughed as Brian made a funny face at her and rolled his eyes. His frustration over the song was beginning to show in his antics and Kevin just shook his head at him. They had started early this morning and it was now mid afternoon. On their way over to the studio that morning Brian said it would take a couple of hours and then they would have the rest of day to lounge around the pool back at the house. He had given her that cheeky grin and Colby knew he had more than just sitting by the pool in mind. “Something on your mind Kevin?” She looked at him as he watched Brian again try to get the harmony just right. “No, not really,” he looked at her his face serious. “Just that you are good for him. I mean, Brian is so much better when he’s in a relationship. There was one exception though.” “Vanessa?” Colby said absently. “Yes. You know about Vanessa?” “I met her.” He shot her a look of surprise. “Long story, but she is quite a package, well put together, and not very polite.” Colby said coolly. “That’s being too kind,” Kevin said. “She was a nightmare. We were all fooled at first, and if Brian hadn’t sent her on her way when he did, there would have been a mutiny.” He shook his head as he remembered the months of hell while she was with them. “But you, well you fit right in, unpretentious, gracious and,” Colby waited but nothing came forth. “Mature!” Kevin nodded his head as the word filled the air. “Mature?” Colby said quizzically. “In other words, older!” She folded her arms and turned away from Kevin her insecurities getting the better of her. “Hey, wait a minute. I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.” Kevin reached out and touched her arm. “Oh? How did you mean it?” She stared him down letting him know she was not to be trifled with. “What I meant was, you are here with Brian not because of his persona as Brian Backstreet but because,” Kevin stopped. “I love him?” Colby filled in the blank. “Yes. I don’t think you really care that he is a celebrity. As a matter of fact I get the distinct impression that this whole business scares you a bit. Doesn’t it?” Kevin eyed her as she let his words sink in. “Yes it does. I can handle the corporate dinner party and the cat and mouse antics of baiting a potential client, but this,” she waved her hand at the room around them, “well, I’m out of my element.” Brian’s voice could be heard, as Colby looked up to see him. His eyes were closed as he sang the chorus, yet again, the words washing over her and making her yearn for him. “I think he finally got it,” Kevin grinned as he watched Colby be transported to some unknown place. Her face glowed and there was no mistaking the look in her eyes. It was obvious Brian had her heart. Brian looked at them and Kevin gave him the okay sign. Brian nodded in agreement and listened as it was played back. He mouthed the word yes and made a fist knowing he had nailed it. “I imagine that right now Brian is feeling just like any corporate executive would feel after landing a big deal.” Colby laughed. “You know Colby, the music business can be just as cut throat as the rest of them, maybe even more so. We’re at the mercy of the record label to produce. We want to make good music, songs that will touch people, they look at the bottom line. A single album can make or break you. So you see, it’s really not that much different.” “I see your point. Yet, I can tell you love it. I watched you both. You were not just going through the motions. Your heart and soul were in every note that you sang.” Colby saw that Brian was gone from the recording booth. “I would say that we are passionate about our work. We have the control now to determine what we want. Each one of us is the consummate artist when it comes to delivering our part to make the whole come together.” Brian entered the room and leaned down and kissed Colby on the neck. She jumped as his lips touched her. “So,” he said as he leaned against the control panel. “It sounded okay right?” Brian looked at Kevin for confirmation again. “No,” Kevin said seriously. Brian frowned at him. “It sounded perfect,” Kevin laughed at his expression. “Just what you have been working for all morning.” Brian shook his head and slapped Kevin’s arm. “Come on, man, don’t do that.” He turned and looked at Colby. “Sorry, about it taking so long.” He checked his watch. It was nearly three. “But, hey, the day is not a complete loss.” He took her by the hand and pulled her to her feet slamming her body against his. “Let’s go back to the house so I can see you in that bathing suit again.” He said the words softly against her cheek. She looked at him as a sly grin played across his face, his words causing her to blush. “Oh really,” she pulled back a bit more but Brian held fast. He seemed to ignore Kevin’s presence in the sound booth. “See I told you,” Kevin smirked as Brian kissed Colby’s neck causing her to squirm against him. Her movements only provoked him further and she could feel the bulge in his pants. His breath was warm and she had a hard time keeping her composure in front of Kevin who dropped his eyes and studied the tile pattern on the floor. “Ah hem,” he cleared his throat. “I’m outta here. I’ll see you both later.” He walked to the door. “Bri….Bri….” Colby muttered against Brian’s mouth. “Kevin is leaving.” “Huh,” Brian didn’t miss a beat as his mouth covered hers. Kevin left quietly knowing full well that he would be doing the same thing given a chance. The door shut and Brian broke the kiss. “Where did Kev go?” “You were too occupied to notice. He left.” Colby smiled, her hand playing with the curls at the base of his neck. “Hmmm, that means we are alone.” He kissed her again. He amazed her. They had made love only this morning but Colby knew that wouldn’t stop them when they got back to the house. The thought of Brian loving her again with his body just made her ache. He had a way to make her skin beg for his touch and her body yearn for his to join hers. Thank God they weren’t expected at Kevin’s till seven. It would give them plenty of time. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Kevin moved the wire brush in steady strokes over the grates of the barbecue grill. His mind was miles away as he continued the monotonous task. He couldn’t get the image of Brian and Colby out of his head. It was quite obvious that Colby was uncomfortable with Brian’s blatant display of affection. Her body language told him so. It didn’t bother him though, just made him jealous. He had told Colby the truth. Brian was head over heels in love and Kevin was happy for him. To say he was surprised by his choice was not an understatement. She was the last person he would have expected to enter Brian’s life. They traveled in different circles and it was only fate that threw them together. But despite their differences, they seemed so right for each other. He dropped the grates into the pan of soapy water on the deck. After a good soaking they would be clean enough to cook on. They only had a couple of days left and Kevin decided it would be good for them to just chill and have dinner together. He had steaks with all the trimmings. It would also provide him an opportunity to get to know Colby better too. He thought back to their exchange this afternoon. His comment about her being mature had hit a chord. It was a touchy subject with her, yet it didn’t seem to phase Brian at all. The more Kevin thought about it though it was the reason she suited Brian so well. Brian loved to joke around and have a good time, but he took his relationships seriously. As a result he never stayed in one too long, because all the women he had dated only wanted the trophy. Whereas Colby, well she didn’t see the trophy, she just saw the man. Brian had told him that at first Colby had no idea who he was until she saw the TV report. Of course Brian’s celebrity status could be their undoing too though. Trying to juggle a relationship with this crazy life they led wasn’t easy. He should know. He’d been trying for the last eight years or more. Well in a couple of days he would be back in LA and maybe, just maybe he could bring some permanence and stability to his life. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Kevin poured the last of the wine into Colby’s glass. They were sitting out on the deck enjoying the warm evening. The silence among them was comfortable. The strains of soft jazz coming from the speakers filled the air, along with the sounds of an occasional cricket chirping. Brian’s fingers were laced through Colby’s. The glow of their afternoon loving making still lingering between them. His thumb rubbed the top of her hand. Colby looked at him and he smiled at her. The exchange didn’t go unnoticed by Kevin. There were unspoken words between them, an understanding no outsider could comprehend. From Brian’s earlier actions, it was clear to Kevin that their physical relationship was good, but this love between them went deeper than mere sex. Maybe that was why Colby seemed so upset by his comments. Grant you Brian’s personal life was just that personal, but no one really knew how the fans would react to their relationship and the age difference. They all knew how protective some of their fans could be when it came to the women in their lives. Colby’s age could cause a stir. Kevin just hoped it didn’t scare her off. Somehow he felt they were two soul mates and providence held all the cards. They were thrown together for a reason and he hoped that their love was strong enough to withstand the bumps they may hit along the way. The thought of returning to Lexington was something Colby didn’t want to think about. This time away had been a good break, not only from the unpredictable spring weather but also from the pressures of life back home too. Here Colby didn’t have to worry about the local gossipmongers. She could show her love for Brian openly without the fear of it making the society page in the local paper. The strain of being cautious when they returned would be hard for both of them. Even though it had been a year since Rob’s death, Colby still felt the stranglehold of the local community. They felt her life belonged to them. She often wondered if it was just because of Brian or would it be any man who showed an interest in her. “So,” Kevin broke the mood, “you two planning on staying a bit longer after we finish tomorrow?” Brian looked at Colby. It was her call. He would love nothing more than to spend a few more days here basking in the sun and just being alone, but she had to decide. Colby lowered her gaze. “I don’t think so Kevin. I really need to get back.” She looked up and saw that Brian nodded slowly. She sensed his disappointment but his eyes told her he understood. “I need to check on the shop, even though I know everything will be in order when I get there. But more importantly I want to see Catherine. There is a chance she could have been released from the rehab center and I would like to be there.” “Brian said she is doing remarkably well.” “Yes she is. She still isn’t walking and I honestly don’t know if she ever will. But her speech is improving as well as the motor skills in her left hand and arm.” Colby sipped from her glass. William would be anxious to get her home. And there was no doubt in Colby’s mind that Catherine would return to the house. “So Kevin, what about you? Staying or leaving?” Colby detected a restlessness about him and she was curious as to why he was acting so. “Leaving actually, tomorrow night. I’m going back to LA.” Brian raised his eyebrows. Kevin grinned as he shifted in his chair. “Does she know you are coming?” Brian looked at him directly. Kevin nodded. “She?” Colby asked him, a grin spreading across her face. “Have you been holding out on us?” Kevin lowered his eyes and his cheeks flushed. “So who is she?” “Someone I’ve known for a long time,” he said wistfully, “even before all this happened. Its’ been a rocky road, separating for months at a time and then getting back together. But lately I’ve had this deep desire that I want more, even it if means we have to split our time between both coasts and be apart sometimes.” Brian looked across at Colby and she lowered her gaze. She knew what he was thinking. The words had never been said but he kept hinting, making subtle comments and Colby always ignored them. He wanted more too, just like Kevin. “Sounds serious Kevin,” Colby avoided Brian’s stare. “I would like it to be. So I’m going to ask and see how she responds.” Brian turned his eyes to his cousin. “You going to propose?” “No, not officially. I’m just going to talk to her. We’ve never really talked about a lifelong commitment. We were too busy trying to find time to be together or breaking up. But these last few months, something changed and it wasn’t her. It’s me. All those times we broke up, part of it was my touring and her work, but I didn’t feel ready to settle down either. I finally realized I need more permanence in my life. I want it and I want to share my life with her, if she will have me.” Brian grinned and nodded and Colby could feel his eyes on her again. She felt like it was a conspiracy. Kevin talking about settling down and Brian was giving her that look. “Well I hope it all works out Kevin. And since you’ve known each other for so long, it’s not the glamour and the image but a man and a woman planning a future together.” He grinned as she spoke. They were basically the same words he had told her earlier in the day. She needed to heed the advice too. Brian’s status didn’t mean anything to her. She loved the warm, caring, humorous and vibrant man that he was. Later that night as she lay in Brian’s arms, Kevin’s words played like a mantra in her head. What did she really want from this relationship with Brian? To fall in love like this had been the last thing on her mind, but how far did she really want this to go? Colby didn’t know. It was obvious to her that Brian was thinking long term. His actions indicated it but Colby couldn’t. It still seemed too soon. She snuggled closer to him, her movements causing Brian to stir. “You all right?” He whispered against her hair. “Yes, just hold me.” Brain pulled her closer. “I’m never letting you go.” She closed her eyes relishing in the comfort of his embrace. |