You think she would have been used to it by now. Yet all the cities, towns and countries seemed to blend together in a fog that filled their lives. She had stopped counting a long time ago. She was tired. They had gotten very little sleep, traveling all night from the last venue to, where were they again? Did it matter? One arena was pretty much like any other. Seats for anywhere from twenty to fifty thousand with numerous rooms to house all the performers, caterers, stage hands, band and family. But, wait, tonight was different. They had come home, well for a couple of them at least. She had been a part of this traveling entourage for so long that everyone was family. From the first day they welcomed her with open arms and that had been ten years ago. Ten years since Brian had asked her to come with him and share in this crazy life. She had worked crazy hours in her life, but nothing prepared her for life on the road with the Backstreet Boys.

She stretched on the day bed feeling the empty space next to her. They had flopped on it as soon as they got here and went back to sleep Brian holding her close. She rolled onto her back and thought back to all those years ago. In a way it seemed like only yesterday that she walked in the hospital room and saw him lying there. It was the day before his surgery and he looked a bit scared even though he tried so hard not to show it. They had all been briefed that he was arriving and that security would be tight and that no one was to talk about anything they heard during his stay with them. They were all required to sign nondisclosure statements too. At the time she thought it was overkill, but looking back and having learned so much, she understood their reasoning. She spent some time with him that first day as the doctor prepared him for his surgery. Brian asked so many questions. She would glance in his direction as the doctor filled him in on all the details and she could feel his eyes on her as she drew his blood. He wanted honesty and the doctor didn’t hold anything back. His surgery was really routine, but there was always the chance that something could go wrong.

The next day she worried right along with his family and friends while they waited to hear word. Her mind would wander as she tried to work on the charts at the nurses’ station. She knew she shouldn’t get so emotionally involved with her patients but there was something about him. When they finally received word that he had come through the surgery, she let out a sigh of relief. She refused to leave the hospital until she knew he was conscious again. When she finally saw him he looked so small in the hospital bed all hooked up to the monitors.

He was so determined to bounce right back. Within days they had him up walking the halls and when Kevin saw him, tears welled in his eyes at how frail he looked. Brian demanded that she be his nurse. Every day he got stronger and every day she found herself falling deeper in love with him. She tried to prepare herself for his release from the hospital and when the day came she found it hard to look at him. His recovery was remarkable and he was going home to rest. They were scheduled to resume their tour in early July and she knew he was a bit apprehensive about the strenuous schedule and if he could handle it.

She threw herself into her work after his departure. But every time she went by the room he had occupied all the memories of the hours they spent talking and laughing would come back. He sent a lovely note and bouquet of flowers thanking her for all her kindness and wonderful care and said he would call. She knew it would never happen and didn’t think twice about it. She had worked hard to get him out of her heart. And then a day in late June she was leaving the hospital when a call came for her and she was called back to the desk. The sound of his voice startled her that at first she couldn’t speak. Her heart pounded in her chest as she took a deep breath. She asked about his health and he said he was fine. Then there was a pause as he cleared his throat. And then it happened. He told her he had missed her. Her heart skipped a beat. He was coming back to see the surgeon before their tour started and wanted to see her. No sound would come from her mouth. Would she go to dinner with him? She stuttered a yes into the phone. The rest is history as they say.

She stood up and checked herself in the mirror. Maybe a quick shower before she changed her clothes would revive her a bit. Tonight was a special evening and she took great care in dressing. She felt the excitement rise in her just like it did that first night so long ago. She remembered Brian coming up behind her as she brushed her hair, his eyes sparkling and that mischievous grin on his face. She had quit her job at the hospital and went with him. It was an impulsive move but she had to go. She knew there were no guarantees, but she loved him and he said he loved her. That was all she needed.

Those first weeks on the road were stressful as she watched him like a hawk looking for signs of fatigue and shortness of breath. There was oxygen available and a doctor as well. Her nursing skills were helpful, but she could only do so much. But Brian amazed everyone. He gave his all every night and then took the time to rest and care for himself. They spent this time getting to know more about each other and their love continued to grow as the days, weeks and months passed.

Where the time went she had no idea. It didn’t seem like ten years but when you have circled the globe and crisscrossed the country numerous times the years just sped by. And lately she yearned for a more settled life. Brian had a house and they shared it when they weren’t touring but she wanted more. They had talked of marriage but there was always something that put the idea on hold. These thoughts always surfaced as the tours were winding down. And here they were with only one show left. The break would be a welcome relief.

She brushed her hair and checked her appearance. She had to look her best. Tonight was a benefit concert for all the participants in Brian’s Healthy Heart Club. It was by invitation only. Just then the door opened.

"Hey there." Brian came and put his arms around her. "Sleep okay?" She nodded and turned in his arms.

"I missed you though." She kissed him softly. "Sound check go okay?"

"Yes." Brian released her and went to the clothes rack searching for his costume. As he got ready they talked about tonight’s show and what it meant to Brian that the group had agreed to do this benefit. "Now don’t forget to sit where I told you," he said to her as he snapped the battery pack onto his belt and she thread the wire and earpiece up through his shirt.

"I’ll be right there. Your family is coming too aren’t they?" He turned around as she placed the earpiece in his hand. He laid it across his shoulder.

"Yes." There was a glint in his eyes. She knew that look. He was up to something.

"Brian? What’s going on?" He ignored her and finished dressing. "Brian?"

"It’s nothing baby. Everything is fine. Come on we don’t want to be late tonight." She turned to leave when he took her in his arms. "I love you." He kissed her hard, his tongue filling her mouth. She held on tight as his kiss left her breathless.

"I love you too." She murmured against his lips.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was a night like no other. The children and their families and friends filled the portion of the arena that had been set up for this intimate evening. The place rocked to the music and Brian and the rest of guys interacted with the crowd all evening. She had watched the reaction of the children all night. So many had met Brian during their sessions and they would call to him and he in turn would wave. It was a night she would never forget. It was about to come to a close when they reappeared in suits of white to do the final set of ballads.

They said their goodnights and thank yous to the audience and the arena went black. A hush came over the crowd and suddenly Brian appeared alone on the stage in the spotlight. He smiled at the crowd as the music started softly. She thought that maybe he wanted to say a special thank you to everyone when he started to sing.

I open my eyes I see your face
I cannot hide I can't erase
The way you make me feel inside
You complete me girl, that's why
Something about you makes me feel
Baby my heart wants to reveal
I'm down on my knees, I'm asking you
Say these three words I wanna hear from you…

As Brian sang he moved down the steps leading off the stage and walked slowly up the aisle towards her. She could faintly hear the guys singing background but Brian held her gaze and her heart began to pound. She was sure everyone around her could hear it as well. As he got closer, she could feel the eyes of the entire arena just staring at her. He came and knelt in front of her as the chorus finished.

Her eyes flashed a look of uncertainty. He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. A loud sighed was heard as the scene was played on the large screen above the stage. The singing stopped as the music drifted softly though the air.

"Brian?" she whispered. The spotlight was on the two of them and she felt so self-conscious knowing everyone was watching them.

He continued to hold her hand rubbing his thumb back and forth trying to soothe her, but it created the exact opposite feeling. Her heart wouldn’t stop it’s infernal pounding and her breath was beginning to become a bit shallow.

"It’s okay baby. There is something I should have done a long time ago and well it seems that I let other things get in the way." He smiled and she could feel her heart melt under his gaze. "This beautiful lady has been with me for ten years." He said to the audience. Applause rang out through the arena. "I met her at a very critical time in my life. And if it wasn’t for her care I would not have recovered as quickly as I did." She could feel the heat rise in her face. She glared at him to stop but Brian just grinned wider. "She left a very promising career to be with me. There was no security or guarantees on my part. She shared space with people she hardly knew and with the exception of a few rare occasions we have never been apart. She means the world to me and although I have told her numerous times in these ten years that I love her, there has never been a real commitment on my part that I would love her forever and always be by her side."

The room got very warm. She felt a bit lightheaded and her stomach was in knots as the realization of what Brian was trying to say in front of 7,500 people hit her. She lowered her head and tears formed in the corners of her eyes. Brian lifted her chin and mouthed the words; "don’t cry." The air was so still and quiet. The silence was deafening. Everyone sat waiting in anticipation for Brian to continue.

"Brian you don’t have to do this," she pleaded.

"Yes I do baby. It’s long overdue. The funny thing is though it felt like we were already. Yet something always seemed to get in the way of making it a reality, but not anymore. I love you, Diana, more than anything in this world and I’m going to keep on loving you forever. I want you with me wherever this crazy path I’m on takes me. I want to share it all with you and our family." The tears fell steadily now as he publicly poured out his love for her. "Will you marry me?" The entire crowd sighed. "Will you be my wife and let me love you forever?" He brushed the tears from her cheeks. Small sobbing breaths escaped her mouth as she tried to compose herself. Never did she imagine he would propose to her like this. She had daydreamed about it for so long and even though it never happened she knew she would stay with him forever whether they married or not. But now, he had asked her and in front of all these people. He never ceased to amaze her.

"I think I’ve left her speechless, everyone." The crowd laughed and so did she. "I guess I waited too long." He went to stand up when she took his arm. Brian turned.

"Yes, Brian," she stood up. "Yes!" He let out a whoop and scooped her up in his arms twirling her around in the aisle. There were whistles and shrieks from the crowd and the music started to play again as the rest of the group sang the chorus again. Brian put her down and looked lovingly into her eyes. She nodded again and he kissed her softly. Before she knew it he picked her up and carried her out of the arena to a waiting car.

"Can you forgive me?" He held her close as they sped through the night to a secret rendezvous he had planned.

"Forgive you?"

"Yes first for waiting so long to ask you and then making it so public." He kissed her temple as she rested her head against his shoulder.

"I won’t deny that I have dreamed of this day for so long, but I love you so much, that married or not I was not leaving. As for asking me in such a public manner, it took a lot of guts to do it and besides I have all those witnesses should you decide to back out." She looked up at him hesitantly to see his reaction. He laughed softly and pulled her closer.

The quaint inn was set back off the road and nestled among a cluster of trees. A fire was already burning when they entered their room. A large four-poster bed stood to the side and a table was set with champagne, fruit and cheese.

"Brian this is…" He never let her finish but crushed his lips to hers. Her head swirled and her legs began to grow weak under the onslaught of his mouth on hers. "Bri…"

"Shh." He pulled back and led her to the sofa and she sat down.

"What are you doing?" Brian knelt in front of her.

"I’m going to finish what I started in the arena." He took out a small velvet box. She let out a gasp. "I love you so much and I want to spend my life with your forever. Diana, will you marry me?" He opened the box to reveal the most exquisite diamond solitaire. Brian slipped it on her finger.

"I love you too, Brian and I don’t see my life without you. Yes I will marry you." When he kissed her this time he didn’t stop at her lips. His hands deftly unbuttoned her blouse as he worked his way to the swell of her breasts. She moaned as his mouth left a trail of warm kisses. How they got to the bed she didn’t remember. Their clothes were scattered all over the floor. He taunted her till she begged him to stop and finally as they became one she arched her back urging him to fill her completely. This was a new beginning for them. Later as she lay in his arms listening to his steady breathing she smiled thinking how lucky she was but also how blessed to be loved by such a wonderful man. She snuggled closer to him seeking out his body heat. She would tell him her news in the morning!

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