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I have lived in Japan for over 2
years now. I feel it is due time to reflect on this and try to
draw a theory of gaijin living in Japan. If the reader will
forgive a few anecdotal irrelevances, I shall present my theory
as a pictorial view of life in Japan through the eyes of a gaijin.
LAW #1: The first Law of Gaijin is, Gaijin like sumo. The above picture attests to this fact. I am a 'bunkake' (a cultured book-worm who abhors sports and physical activity.) So, I will never be caught dead watching a baseball game on tv, but when it comes to Sumo - I'm there!
LAW #2: Gaijin are wanted as models and other unsettling roles - AND they have to wear strange gaijinic things. <SEE PHOTO AT LEFT> Yes, <Gulp>. That's me in the <GULP AGAIN> blue suit. I got paid $100, but it hardly seems worth it when everyone else got to wear really cool samurai-like clothes! This law extends to doing other things where English or a gaijinique mood is required. I have even had the experience of doing a TV commercial. Thankfully, it was not shown in my prefecture.
LAW #3: A gaijin's desk is always messy. This law by extension also applies to apartments and backseats/trunks of cars. Should anyone doubt this claim, I have more photographs.(Notice how the gaijin in his natural environment saves space for his coffee cup and electronic dictionary. - two of the most essential daily tools.) Granted my test subjects are relatively few (myself and ...), but wherever I go, this phenomenon extends itself around me. In fact, I have evidence of this phenomenon EVERYWHERE I go. Coincidence? The evidence is against such a conclusion.
LAW #4: Gaijin have the most interesting adventure stories while on vacation. Here am I, trying desperately to stay within camera view on my honeymoon in Singapore. It was an interesting trip.
owari