In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1. On a Sears hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping". [Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair]
2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside". [Evidently, the shoplifter special]
3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." [And that would be how...?]
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost." [But it's just a suggestion]
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down". [Oops, too late!]
6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". [As sure as night follows the day]
7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". [But wouldn't this save even more time?]
8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication. [We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.]
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness" [One would hope]
10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". [As opposed to what?]
11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". [I gotta admit, I'm curious...!].
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". [NEWS FLASH]
13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts." [Step 3: Fly Delta]
14. On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". [I don't blame the company. I do blame parents for this one!]
15. European Camera - This camera will only work when film is inside.
16. Liquid Plummer - Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.
17. Toilet Plunger - Caution: Do not use near power lines.
18. Little Ones Baby Lotion - Keep away from children.
19. Hair Coloring - Do not use as an ice cream topping.