september & october 2005

Today is 15 October 2005 making me smile: looking like a teacher current lyrics: the ones on my doors that I keep finding mistakes in. Yay dyslexia.

Maybe sometimes you don’t have to get to know a person fully. Maybe it’s not the worst thing to have sides of someone that you have no idea about. Maybe sometimes it’s just the fact that they are in your life and make it more interesting for a time. And then they are gone. But you will forever be a little bit changed and see things a little bit differently because of time spent with them.

Life is strange & I am pretty sure that it only gets stranger.

Today is 13 October 2005

My grandma died yesterday. I feel like I have dealt with death more than a girl my age should have. Maybe not, maybe it just feels like it. I don’t really know how to feel at this point because my grandma was not a cute cuddly grandma. She was temperamental, nasty, and abusive and she denied it all. She was, however, my Gramme. She wore a necklace with charms on it that reminded her of different events in her life; births, graduations, whatever else I guess. It had little 18kt gold beads on it and I used to bite them when I was I little and sat on her lap. She stopped wearing that necklace a long time ago I don’t know why.

My mom is a saint and I don’t know that I’ve ever told her that explicitly but she is.

Lastly these are reasons 87 & 88 why Nora is the best boyfriend ever: Red daisies and tiramisandwiches.

Today is 11 October 2005 making me smile: people watching current lyrics: alone is the last place I wanted to be

Sometimes it feels nice to have your dentist tell you that you have perfect teeth. Sometimes I like sitting in the front of the classroom. Sometimes I wish I was some of the moms that pick up my after school kids. Sometimes my jeans fit too tight. Sometimes I wish I had longer hair so the pile on top of my head would be messier. Sometimes it’s nice when you realize in the middle of a moment that it’ll be one of your favorite memories. Sometimes I wake up smiling because I had a dream about sex. Sometimes I wish I was taller. Sometimes I can make myself cry over a hypothetical argument that will most likely never happen. Sometimes I miss living in apartment G. (All the time I miss jenny.) Sometimes five people in a shower aren’t too many. Sometimes you just gotta say what the fuck. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see what I’ll look like in 20 years.

Looking forward to next Tuesday when cup night can start to be penciled in regularly.

Today is 1 October 2005 (“ok, Cinderella”) making me smile: road trips current lyrics: sugar we’re going down

I have five pairs of sunglasses that I rotate, some more than others. One pair is by Angel, they are tortoise shell and a little too small for my liking at this point in my life. I bought them immediately after I broke my other ones in the butler plaza movie theater. I don’t remember the film.

My second pair is pearly white Arnette Catfish. I think I bought them on a Tuesday, out of defiance or something like that.

The third pair is a ridiculously large pair of black glasses from target. They make everything look pink, and the tint fades as you tilt your head back. They are very much like a pair my mom had when I was little and I wish I’d kept those instead.

Number four is a pair of ray-ban aviators that make me feel like a badass. Sometimes that’s really all it takes. Faking it. I bought them on July third with a gift certificate that I’d gotten from buying the Arnettes (“high rollers get special attention,” the card said.)

The last pair was purchased yesterday morning on my way home from class. I’d wanted a pair of Lucies by Dragon since forever but they discontinued them and it’s ok since they didn’t look that cute on me anyway. I only liked them because they were called Lucy, like me. (If you know me well, you understand.) I bought a pair of Casinos instead. They are by Dragon and have handwriting all over them in place of a tortoise shell pattern. They are too big but I love it.

We passed the I-95 over pass tonight on our way back from Flagler and I saw “Miami <-, Jacksonville ->” and I thought about how I always just want to get on the highway and go. Because I have a phone and a credit card and that’s really all I would need. Not for good, but for a few days at least. Before I could even say it Danielle said that’s what she always thought about and it made me happy to know that there are people who get the same little itches to just peace out every now and then. Buy the cheapest plane ticket at the terminal and leave for a while. Keep driving past your exit and dare yourself to turn around. Turn left when your house is four blocks away.

Happy Birthday Door Number Two. You are old like me now :)

I like it when you think I've let you in.

Today is 25 September 2005 making me smile: pole dances current lyrics: honey you can’t hide your lyin’ eyes

By popular demand.

Jenny and Mike have been together 2 years tomorrow. Local Place Friday Night is my new favorite thing. So is taking advantage of the sleep timer and the ‘chill’ playlist on my ipod.

I got randomly sad the other night while sitting on Nora’s bed. I think it had to do with the 3 hours of sleep I’d gotten the night before and the fact that I was running on fumes at that point. Nora asked me if it was because I thought there would still be hope. But that’s not the right word. Scar. Twinge. Hurt. Guilt. Those fit much better.

I kissed someone new last night. It was random and led to nothing, but that’s more than ok. It wasn’t even good kissing… too all over the place. Too many teeth. I miss kissing where we both know how to kiss the other person and it’s good.

Today is 15 September 2005 making me smile: cute clerks at ABC current lyrics: take my hand as we’re walking through the avenue

Today was one of those days where everything just blindsided me and knocked me over for a little bit. Sap on my car never going away. Stains. Not being able to finish the bottle. Disintegrated fingernails. Coming home to an empty house. Forgetting to eat all day. Throwing my water bottle as hard as I can. Efforts going completely ignored. Fucked up paychecks. Postponed concerts. Papers that are too short. 4 hours of sleep.

Tomorrow will be better because it’s Friday and there are four little bottles of pink champagne with straws. And a bucket of margarita and a beach. And Florida Football. And my girls. And things can never be bad when I have all that.

Today is 14 September 2005 making me smile: kids at my work current lyrics: Well maybe I'm a little bit slow, or just consistently inconsistent

I got a new piercing. It’s actually an old one that they redid. I should have just left it in because it was an assload more the second time around to get done. I have a cute little bar in it though so I’m happy. I’m also very stinky and need to shower. Renamed and rearranged all my playlists in itunes. Just to keep myself on my toes.

Nothing else. Hi.

Today is 12 September 2005 making me smile: cloudless days current lyrics: all you did was wreck my bed and in the morning kick me in the head

Amazing song selection on my ipod this morning, to and from class. Passed an exceptionally cute boy during Maggie May and wanted to grab him and kiss him and then walk away, just for the fun of it. The moment passed, however, and there was no kissing to be had. I think my life would be more interesting if I gave into impulses like that more often. Better? Probably not, but definitely more interesting.

Today is 8 September 2005 making me smile: the list on my door current lyrics: she’ll be lovin’ him under her shoe

When I was buying my text books I saw one from last semester that I had sold back, but thoroughly enjoyed. So I bought it again. I feel like someday when I’m older and have a real book case filled with real books it will be one that I’d like to have on it. It will be one that my kids see and ask me about, and I can say to them “Darling, that’s all about the politics between great powers and the wars they have.” And I will sound smart. My dad had a lot of books that I used to ask him about, by authors like Lee Iacocca and Henry Kissinger. I have decided not to sell back my books this semester because I will be starting my “real life” and it’s a perfect time to start my collection of smart people memorabilia.

On another note, seeing wedding pictures makes me want to have a big party that’s all about me and a very attractive man who loves me. I don’t necessarily want to get married but it would be nice to have a party and a date in a tux to said party.

Today is 3 September 2005 making me smile: birthday lists current lyrics: if you don’t love me then let me go

“what i like. a non-rhyming poem. by liz s.

i like the boston red sox. i like sunglasses and earrings that are a little bit ridiculous. i like cute shirts, size M or L, use your discretion. i like american eagle jeans "stretch skinny flare.” i like things that start with M and end with either argarita, artini, oes, en or ixed cds. i like slightly stoopid, tom petty, sublime, pepper, the killers, bob dylan and kings of leon. i like beaded jewelry that you will have either made yourself or purchased in a store. i like big shells. i like custom made shirts. i like it when my friends go to pepper concerts on august 10th with me. i like cute things that remind you of me. i like the colors pink, blue, green, and lime green. i like limes. i like any combination of any of the above. i like surprises :)

i hope this helps. i'm sorry it's so late and that it's so non specific. i really don't need anything so anything you get me will be loved and appreciated.

L”

Reading past sent emails being amused with herself, thinking about what to get sarina, other than the obvious of course.

Today is 2 September 2005 making me smile: Labor Day current lyrics: I heard that payback’s a mother fucking bitch

A little bit of frivolity in an all too serious world.

Beer is practically free, so my roommates and I bought eight cases and plan to go back tomorrow. Apparently the city is out of Bud Light in bottles, which isn’t nearly as taxing as the fact that the gulf coast is a third world, but still. I like Bud Light. In bottles.

We are having the second weekly BBQ/Beer Pong tournament at our house on Sunday. It’s pretty much the most fun I’ve had on a Sunday night and I hope this tradition not only continues but grows. We have approximately 152 beers and jack shit to do on Monday. You know you want in.

I have a theory, a social one, but every time I try to explain it, it just sounds dumb. I think we ultimately avoid getting to know people we might dislike in order to ensure that we never have to admit that we’re more alike than we’re like to admit. It made a lot more sense when I was people-watching on Monday.

I sent a text message the other night. Oops.

I love sublime. & I'm still happy.