I’ve always wondered about the phrase “No strings attached.”

            I often hear it used by two people who say there are no strings attached, but share a relationship where they enjoy mutual benefits. They are not bound together by anything. There is no commitment between the two of them, and one can choose to leave the other anytime he pleases, with the knowledge that, because of the No Strings Attached premise, the other won’t be affected by it at all.

            I had learned in last semester’s philosophy class that I am a being-in-the-world with others, co-existing with fellow human beings within a given environment. Thrown into this pre-existing world with all these relationships, I find it hard to believe that one can live a life with no strings attached. This semester, I have come to learn that on the contrary, an individual lives life with a great many number of strings attached. When I refer to these strings, I mean one’s convictions, principles, and values, all of which bind one to make the most out of life. And I believe that love is the string that most binds one to life.

            So much has been said and done about love. As the subject of countless songs and the mother of all themes in film and in literature, love continually finds expression in countless ways throughout history. It is simply everywhere. And yet, it seems to be the hardest thing to pinpoint, that I have been forced to closely examine my relationships with people and with the society I live in, hoping that I would find love’s place in my life, thus giving me a better understanding of the richness of my existence.

            In spite of the multitude of relationships that I have, I realized that all these relationships necessitate some form of dialogue. Interpersonal relations with others require me to open myself to them, just as they have opened themselves to me. But before I can open up to others, love must first be present. This love must take the form of a willingness to transcend myself, to look away from myself and become more conscious of the other. Through this consciousness of the other, I find that my thoughts, words, and actions would have an adverse effect on the world around me, whether I intend it or not. As dialogue entails one to bring his whole self into it, communication then, is not confined to mere words, but is taken to include actions and the person’s total being as well.

            But in realizing that love and communication are the necessary prerequisites to a genuine interpersonal relationship, I also realize that, as the opposite of love, indifference is a barrier that prevents me from seeking out even more relationships, leaving many other relationships untapped. There are so many people in the world that I don’t know and don’t interact with, and all of them are potential partners in an interpersonal relationship. However, as long as I remain indifferent to their existence and don’t open myself to the possibility of getting to know them, then I forego the opportunity to make enrich my experience of the world and of people. I forego the opportunity to love more.

There are also relationships that are not positive, taking their roots in bitterness and spite. Though these relationships exist, I believe that a person does not grow in these relationships. Bitterness and spite close one’s mind to the goodness of the other and to love. With the lack of that openness for love and genuine dialogue with the other, I forego the opportunity to grow more as an individual, and to contribute to the growth of others. As love is creative, it is then only in a loving relationship that there can be growth and enrichment in one’s existence.

Even as I try to expand my view of relationships to include the whole of society, I realize that love and dialogue are still ever-present. I belong in a family whom I have always loved, and thus I communicate quite well with my siblings and my parents. But I have been able to observe my friends who do not feel the love in their respective families, and they feel alienated from their very homes precisely because of love’s seeming absence. Through this, I’ve learned that even in a family whose very formation is a testament of love, it is important to communicate this love and not take it for granted.

I also have a relationship with the state: I am a Filipino citizen. Though I am a citizen by birth, I cannot say that I have nurtured my relationship with my country. Sadly, I belong to the group of teenagers who love to gripe about the current political situation but refuse to become a registered voter. Because of all the hassle I’d have to go through, I’ve chosen to withhold going through that tedious process until more worthy candidates become deserving of my vote. To put it quite simply, I may love my country, but as long as I don’t find a way to actively participate in the political society by exercising my right to vote or by simply obeying the law, then this love is not manifested at all. No matter how much I express my views of how the Philippines could become a better place, there is no love until I do something about it: after all, love should be shown in both word and deed.

            There are so many relationships that I can examine, such as belonging to a civil society or an economic society, but I think one thing has been made clear to me: that as I belong to a society, as I build relationships through communication and out of love, this makes me responsible not only for myself, but for the other.

            Being the eldest child, I am no stranger to responsibility. I think that a sense of responsibility offers me a clearer direction in my life. For example, I am careful of what I do because I have the responsibility to set a good example for my younger siblings. This makes me think that if I were to be free of any responsibility at all, I would be living a meaningless existence: I wouldn’t care what I do and how my actions affect the people I love, so I would do anything I want, whenever I want.

It is tempting to look at that as a good life because it would be a life of Hakuna Matata: no worries. But in doing whatever I want, there would be no coherence and cohesiveness in my actions. It would be as though I am disregarding my whole history as a human being, simply living for the moment because I have no responsibility for anything that I had once done. Because I have no responsibility over myself and over others, I live a life with no strings attached. It is a life without love, for love will always be that to which many other strings are attached: it is the basis of all my principles, convictions, and beliefs, and the foundation of all morality as well.

In fact, more than being a prerequisite to communication and responsibility, there are still so many things that love can be connected to. For instance, love can be connected to justice: with love as the spirit of the law, justice without love would be purely legalism. It can be connected to hope, faith, charity, and compassion: people do good works out of love for other people and for life in general, and they have faith and hope in God’s mercy because they love Him. As love is integral to all of this, it is no wonder then that it is the ultimate tie that binds one to relationships and to life itself. It is the very thing that defies the statement, “No strings attached.”

This is why I can say that love is the one thing in this world that is inexhaustible. There is always something more to give, whether it is love in its purest form, or it takes the form of other things like justice and responsibility. Because of the feeling that there is always something more to love than what we limit it to be, an experience of love makes us more open to love itself and to the world around us. Such openness translates to an ability to see the world with new eyes, giving us the paradox of gaining a deeper understanding of our existence while at the same time being faced with even more questions of what we are really here for, questions that make us throw ourselves into living with renewed vigour.

            In essence then, love sustains life. It is when people don’t see how much love they have in their lives that they see no reason to live any longer. Conversely, we continue wanting to wake up the next day, to brave a new day ahead precisely because of love.

So, more than simply being-in-the-world-with-others, I have learned that I am a being capable of love, that I am in the world precisely because I love life and I want to live, and I make the most out of my life by loving others. More than just an overused and overanalysed concept, love is the complex reality that can take so many different forms, it sometimes becomes difficult to recognize it. But love is love, no matter what form it takes, and it is the one thing that gives my life meaning, purpose, and direction.

            As the tie that binds, love is the very reason why I exist.