She rushed off in a huff as the wind carried their voices after her.

            You guys look really cute together. Maybe you’re meant to be! The teasing had gone on long enough, and she had had it.

            She sat down on the floor, Indian-style, watching people mill by in a distance. She had been spending much time here lately, away from the maddening crowd, but close enough to civilization to know when it was time to go to class again. She came here mostly to think, but lately, it had been to sort out the confusing feelings in her heart.

            No one seemed to understand how hard it was, having your boyfriend away and having another guy so near. Another guy who was already like a best friend. Another guy who, if she wasn’t careful, could be more than just a best friend.

            And that’s exactly what she was afraid of. Because lately, she found herself looking for him when he was gone, waiting to catch sight of him. And when she saw him cutting across the field, she noticed how the sunlight made his hair glisten, how confidently he held himself, his easy gait. And those were too many things to notice in a guy who wasn’t your boyfriend.

             “What’s up?”

            She looked up and saw him standing above her, as if her thoughts of him had conjured him up. He took a seat beside her, just as he had done so many times when she needed a listening ear. She looked down at her lap, hating the way she was feeling now that he was so near.

            “Just needed to get away,” she said in what she hoped was a nonchalant tone.

            He nodded, and began looking at the people passing by. It seemed that everyone had somewhere to go, something to do. Everyone except the two of them, as they sat here, seemingly in limbo: consumed in their own thoughts, just watching everyone else go by.

            She knew that he was just waiting for her to speak up, and she appreciated that he never rushed her into sharing. He just sat patiently, waiting for her to be ready to speak, and when she did, he always let her finish. He wasn’t like one of those people who interrupted you constantly to immediately diagnose your problem. It was one of the things she liked about him, a trait she wished her boyfriend had more of.

            There it was again, that heavy guilty feeling that she was being disloyal. If only to ease the pain, she spoke up.

            “I guess I just got pissed that they were teasing us again,” she said in a rush, not wanting to meet his eyes.

            He nodded, waiting for her to go on. He didn’t force her to meet his eyes either. He knew to keep his distance for now, because she would always let him know when she needed the comfort of his closeness, or the breathing room his space offered. She found herself wishing, again, that her boyfriend was more like that.

            Disloyal thoughts again. She tried to push them out of her head by saying, “No one understands how hard it is.”

            He shrugged, “Maybe it’s because no one else is in your situation right now.”

            She sighed, “But they should realize just how vulnerable I am right now.” She watched the people walking by again. “I mean, my boyfriend’s far away, and you’re here, and it’s not exactly hard to fall in love with you.”

            The minute she said that, she froze. Could she really have said that aloud? She felt him sitting still beside her, and she could tell that he was processing that in his mind.

            “What makes you say that?” he said lightly, but she heard the slight tremble in his voice. The tremble that he tried so desperately to hide.

            “Well… you know…” she stammered, looking at her nails, at the dirt on the floor, at her untied shoelace, anywhere but at him.

            He kept quiet, and she couldn’t tell just what he was thinking. Was he mad? Was he weirded out? Was he… happy?

            She couldn’t help herself. She sneaked a peek at him. He was looking at her, and she found her own confused feelings reflected in his eyes. Longing, guilt, confusion, and the beginnings of that emotion you can never quite put your finger on.

            As she stared into those eyes, she realized: he did know. And so did she.

            The knowledge just frightened them both, but at the same time, it felt exhilarating. It was a strange combination of fear and excitement, apprehension and anticipation. This was the beginning of something, but of what, neither of them could say for sure.

            As if by unspoken agreement, they both stood up and joined the throng of people who had places to go and things to do.

            They finally had somewhere to go. But together, it would be a bumpy ride. A very bumpy one.