Unless you've been living in a cave for the past few months, you've noticed the $200,000,000 advertising budget that Microsoft has set aside for the promotion of Windows95. Most of us are pretty annoyed by it, but you may be asking yourself why Microsoft is spending so much money. If IBM's failure with OS/2 isn't enough of a reason, take a look at the top ten reasons:
 

10. Microsoft CEO, Bill Gates discovered he was on "a mission from God."
 9. Kevin Costner talked Gates into it.
 8. Gates saved up the cash by letting his personal hygiene go.
 7. They struck oil in Redmond: black gold - Texas tea!
 6. It's a way to mask Bill's deep inner conflict and low self-esteem.
 5. They've got some extra pocket change since Bill's wife blocked 1-900 numbers from their home.
 4. It worked for Ross Perot, didn't it?
 3. Bill Gates misinterpreted a recent fortune cookie, telling him to "Pay more attention to matters of consequence" ('attention' was covered with soy sauce).
 2. Gates' image consultant said he would be loved by children everywhere.
 1. A television-evangelist, the original recipient of the money, was brought up on charges.