The First Noel
"Robin.. I'm afraid I do not fully understand this..." Starfire remarked quietly as she eyed over the white box in Robin's lap, carefully being folded up into a sheet of soft blue wrapping paper, with no wrinkles or tears like hers had been.
"Understand what? Wrapping presents?" He asked with almost a laugh in his tone as he flipped the box over to wrap the other side, then cast a glance over her way.
"Exactly. I don't understand why we waste such beautiful paper only to be torn apart and thrown away afterwards." Starfire glanced down at the seemingly mangled package in her own lap and frowned. "Why.. on my planet.. such paper would be considered a precious treasure and--"
"It's wrapping paper, Star. It's an earth tradition. You'll get used to it." he answered.
A heavy sheet of snow had fallen over the entire city, and crime rates had significantly dropped in size due to it. Truth be told, all the Titans were about ready for a riot to break out in the streets, just to have something to do other than stay in their giant tower on the outskirts of the city for hours upon hours. Certain people had been at other certain people's throats during the last few days, but the anger and frustration had soon subsided, however, when the calendar hit December 10th, and it was announced that everything would be decorated over for the Christmas holiday coming up. Presents that were bought earlier were dragged out from the closets, wrapping paper distributed, and a multitude of Christmas Trees had been properly delivered for the matching multitudes of rooms to put them in. It left Starfire puzzled, this being her first time witnessing such a holiday.
"And.. Robin? Why do we place glass balls on the branches of trees? And why do we bring such trees indoors and string them with lights? I don't understand. This is all so.. interesting." Starfire stole a glance at the towering tree in the corner of the room. Herself, Robin, Cyborg, and Beastboy had taken hours upon hours to finish decorating that tree, but none of them had really taken the time to explain why, almost like they expected her to figure it out on her own.
"Geez Robin.. you'd think you woulda taught her about stuff like Christmas by now.."
Both looked up from their place on the couch to see Cyborg enter in from the hall, a boatload of presents in his arms that were soon dropped and pushed under the tree with his foot. He turned towards them and folded his arms over his chest, as if waiting for a responce from the masked boy.
"Bet you're going to tell me I slacked off?" Robin asked with a bit of amusement in his tone of voice, and leaned forward a bit to get a good idea of just how many presents had been put under the tree after all.
"Probably.." was the only responce.
Starfire sighed heavily, sensing yet again the tension between the two boys rising as their words grew sharper.
"I can't teach her everything."
"You're the one she's with almost constantly."
"She's with Raven alot too, you know."
"Yeah.. uh-huh, blame it all on Rave.."
"I'm not blaming Raven for anything."
"Uh-huh."
"I'm not!!"
"Uh-huh.." Cyborg turned and started walking back towards the hallway. "If ya need me, I'll be around."
With a low growl, Robin slouched down into the couch, ignoring the worried look from Starfire. Picking up another white box, he abruptly tore a piece of green sparkling wrapping paper from the roll, causing a jagged edge, and went about folding the paper around the box quickly. Starfire simply stared at him, for instead of the marvelous job he had done before with each of his gifts, this one was even making hers look good.
"Um.. Robin? Maybe you should take a break, maybe get some fresh air?" she suggested uneasily.
"I'm fine." he snarled under his breath, and slapping a small decorated sticker on the top of the hideous package, wrote Cyborg's name sloppily, and chucked it from his position on the couch, to under the tree.
There was a moment of uneasy silence between the two teens, but with the soft sound of Starfire clearing her throat, and her leaning forward to examine the one remaining package they had to wrap, the mood in the room changed a bit.
"I'm afraid we may be missing a few presents for our friends. I don't have one for Raven, or one for you."
With a moment of thought from Robin, he stood, stretched, and looked down at her. "Well, I don't have one for Beastboy, or you.. so.."
Starfire's eyes lightened and she clasped her hands together tightly. "Oh! Does this mean we may now go out into the vast malls of people and shop once more?!"
"Uh.." Robin shifted uneasy and rubbed the back of his neck. "... yeah."
"Joy!" Starfire jumped up off the couch. "When can we leave?!"
"Um.. as.. soon as I send Cyborg out for groceries, I guess we could leave."
"I will go and fetch him then!!" and with that, Starfire was gone down the hallway, leaving Robin to stand alone in the christmas-light-polluted room, utterly confused.
--------
The snow fell softly around the city, except unless you looked hard from Raven's place in the darkness of the night on the top of the tower, you wouldn't have been able to tell. Not that she cared really that her dark purple cloak was slowly being given a cloak of it's own, causing it to soak through to her usual uniform she wore. She didn't care that her body was freezing. Hell, she didn't care about anything anymore.
Everyone was happy, carefree... Almost like they hadn't even noticed her added sadness over the last few days.
She walked slowly across the roof of the tower, running her hand through the inch of snow that had gathered on the railing as she made her way to the other side, where the lights of the city burned brightly, and reflected over the slowly freezing lake. It was personally her favorite spot to stand and stare, due to the unusual beauty of the scene. Even in the freezing wind that whipped around her, and the snow stinging the skin that was bare to the weather, she found it just a bit peaceful.
She couldn't tell if she was concentrating on the skyline, or the conversation her mind played out in her head, but whichever it was, it was slowly causing a gashing hole in her being. Soon, she began talking to herself. Did it really matter if she did? They were all downstairs decorating the tree anyways without her. They probably hadn't even realised she had not made an appearance to them the entire day, yet.
"I should just leave." she spoke quietly to herself, then ran her hand over the railing once more, gathering up a handfull of snow, balling it in her fist, and then dropping it over the edge of the building. She gazed over to the amazing height she was from the ground, and it almost took her breath away. She wasn't afraid of heights in the least, but the fact that she could barely even see the ground from where she was startled her. She had never realised just how high up it really was.
Raven darted back suddenly at the sound of the door below her opening, pouring a coat of soft yellow light from inside out into the snow, and Cyborg suddenly rushing out, Robin hot on his heels, both talking so loudly that she could just faintly make out what they were saying. She peered over the edge once more, more curious than anything, as the wind kicked back up, shoving the hood of her cloak down behind her head.
"You sure you have the list with you?" Robin's voice clearly asked, and he stopped, just short of the blueish tone of light a few yards away where a single car sat, snow piling on it's hood.
"Yeah yeah I got it..." the car gave a loud beep in responce to Cyborg pressing a button on the keypad he held.
She watched with a curious, yet subtle look, her emotions unmoving. It was just a simple thing they did practicly all the time, sending Cyborg out into the city to pick up grocerys, and someone having to rush after him to make sure he had the proper list of items so he wouldn't forget anything. But for some reason, this time it was a sort of bittersweet sight to her. It was probably just another effect of her depression she had slipped into, and also being seemingly ignored by the others.
Her arms slowly wrapped themselves around her middle, and she closed her eyes. She was about sick and tired of this feeling surrounding her, she just wanted it to stop... even if she had to do it herself.
She took another step towards the edge of the building and gazed over the edge. Cyborg had already pulled away, and the door had closed behind Robin, leaving it deserted in the outdoors again. But, that's not what she was concentrating on. Her eyes were fixed upon the barely visible indent of the snowball she had dropped just below. Her hand grasped the railing tightly as she watched, almost as if her body was trying to push her on by itself.
Her fingers flexed again, and the thought of allowing herself to just fall off the side flashed through her head, causing her to suck in a deep breath of air. Yes, a fall like that.. that would definatly make this feeling inside her disappear... for good.
A flood of light escaped from the doorway behind her, and she gasped lightly, turning around, almost as if she had just been caught commiting a crime. The greenish boy just blinked at the startled look on her face a few times, and stepped out into the snow, closing the door behind him.
"What are you doing out here?" Raven asked sharply, and turned back around to the glowing skyline, casting a quick glance down to the ground beneath them.
"I noticed you weren't helping us decorate." Beastboy said, surprisingly not at all cheerful in his tone of voice. "So, I went to your room, but you weren't ther--"
"You didn't touch anything, did you?" she spat off quickly, interrupting him.
"No, I just knocked and the door opened, so I peeked my head in and left." he responded with a odd cool about him. "I figured if you weren't there, you'd be up here. I wanted to know if you wanted to help me decorate one of the smaller trees, since Robin left it up to me, and you didn't get the chance to decorate the big one."
Raven cast a glance at him as he took his place beside her, wrapped in a heavy hunter green jacket. "You want me to help you? That's a change."
"Or.. we could just sit up here if you want." his tone was back to it's usual perkiness and sarcasm with that remark, and he offered out the black jacket that he had draped over his arm. "But I can't let you freeze, ya know."
She looked at the jacket, then looked at him, and then back down at the ground below, causing him to look over as well to see what exactly was so interesting about a snowcovered ground you could barely see.
"I want to be alone."
"And that's different from....? Com'on, you have to be cold in that outfit, and Robin and Star are gettin' ready to leave to do last minute Christmas shopping. If you don't want anyone to know that you actually talk to me, then this is the perfect time." he gave a grin at her, but soon frowned at the emotion that had crossed Raven's face at his comment.
"You.. really want me to come down there with you?"
"Yeah, of course. I've been wanting to hang with you all day but you were always gone and stuff."
He felt his stomach untie the knot it had made when she gave a soft smile and started to walk back to the doorway Beastboy had come from in the first place.
"Alright.. but only if you make me a cup of tea once we're down there."
Beastboy grinned widely and rushed after her to open the door first. "Deal."
---
A strange blueish glow filled the room, reflecting off the whitewashed walls of the large kitchen. Raven drew her legs up to her chest as she sat comfortably in the horseshoe-shaped seating, casting a look in the direction of the Christmas tree, covered from top to bottom with small blue lights and silver and blue balls. Not exactly the model Christmas tree seen in pictures, but she liked it.
The tingling, stinging feeling her legs and face had given her while they had defrosted in the heat had all but vanished, and she had to admit, Beastboy had been right.. it was more comfortable here than out in the blistering cold of the night. She took a sip of the herbal tea he had made her, and watched him shape into various creatures to place the remaining glass balls on the tree.
"Put that one near the bottom." she stated simply, and gave a small smile at the green monkey about to place it near the star on the top of the tree.
"Fine" he snorted after jumping down and returning to his humanoid form. He hung the ball on the lowest bare branch he could find, and stepped back, admiring his work from a distance. Placing his hands on his hips, he nodded, and moved out of the way for Raven who had slipped out of her spot to rinse out her cup in the sink behind him.
"It looks nice."
Beastboy turned and blinked in shock at the compliment that was given him.
"Uh... thanks..." he looked back at the tree and cocked his head to the side. "Yeah.. it does look kinda nice, don't it?" His eyes sharply fell towards the phone letting out a loud ringing sound, and he moved out of the way yet again as Raven made a quick walk to pick it up.
She flipped the phone off the hook and placed it onto her shoulder, keeping on her pace to leave Beastboy alone in the kitchen as she talked. "Hello?" was the last thing he heard out of her before she walked out.
"Hey, Raven.." Robin's voice was clearly heard over the phoneline, and Raven stopping her brisk pace to lean against the back of the couch, lifting a hand up to hold the phone instead of holding it to her ear by her shoulder. "You think you and BB could spend some time cleaning up the place a bit?"
"When I didn't create the mess in the first place?" she practicly snapped in disgust at his suggestion.
"Raven, com'on... we have company coming and al--"
"Company?" her interest was perked for that brief moment, cutting him off.
"Yes, company." he responded with a slight hint of annoyance in his voice. "We've been planning this for months, Raven.."
Raven stayed silent a moment, wracking her brain hard for whatever he was talking about. She didn't remember any conversation about someone coming.. maybe she wasn't there or wasn't paying attention.. but.. she really didn't remember anything about company.
"You know.." Robin started up again, realising her silence was just one big question to him. ".. Aqualad." A sharp squeal was heard over the line, clearly Starfire's, and Robin's annoyed groan.
Raven's heart stopped dead in it's tracks, then raced faster than it had in months, all in a matter of seconds. "A-Aqualad.... h-he's coming here? Today?!"
"In two hours, actually... Star and I won't be back in time so you'll have to straighten things up a bit."
"I'm on it don't worry." with that the phone was hung up, and she dashed into the kitchen quickly, placing the phone on it's hook and giving the startled Beastboy an intense look.
"Did YOU know that Aqualad was coming?!" she spat off in an irritated tone.
Beastboy stared at her in horror a moment before answering uneasily. "Y-yeah.."
Raven growled under her breath and stormed out of the kitchen, looking around her surroundings. The place wasn't that much of a mess, due to the heavy cleaning Robin had issued everyone to do before Christmas decorations had went up, but it wasn't clean enough, not for Aqualad.
Then it hit her... why on earth was Aqualad coming anyways? He hadn't shown up since they had made him an honorary titan. It didn't quite make sense... but she had no time to think about these things. If she didn't get to him first, Star most certainly would... she had to change her clothing, straighten her hair from the windblown mess it was currently... there were things that had to be done.
"I don't get what the big deal is."
Raven turned to see Beastboy standing behind her, arms crossed, back leaned against the wall, watching her with an eyebrow raised.
"He's just a guy. I don't get why you girls go nuts over him."
"Neither do I.." Raven admitted, gave a slight smile, and shrugged.
Beastboy blinked at the outright honesty she had given in admitting she really did like this guy, but, it was just a physical attraction, that he was sure of. It couldn't go too far.
He focused back in onto reality after diving into his thoughts with that concept, and blinked once more when he realised she was long gone to hide in her bedroom for a good hour.
---
It had been a calm, quiet couple of hours. Beastboy had resorted to playing his one-player games on the television after he realised he was pretty much alone until the doorbell rang, when the princess-of-happiness herself would come bounding down the hall and to the large double doors everyone always entered the tower by. But that had been two hours away when he had realised it, and he had almost completed an entire game by the time the tower was filled with an odd tune. Beastboy made a face and pointed in midair, signaling the exact moment the swish of Raven's doors sounded and the girl bounded towards the door.
Satisfied with his timing, he sunk back down into his seat to resume the playing of his video game, but then suddenly turned as he realised that instead of the flash of purple, he had seen a flash of silver. He stared unmoving at the form of Raven, dressed in that silver sweater she had agreed to buy for the winter season, not even realising that the Game Over screen was blinking behind him. Raven's hair was combed down in it's normal style, however, so it wasn't too much of a shock, but the sight of seeing Raven in something other than dark colors was enough to deliver the right amount of shock to his system.
She slid the doors apart and immediatly a flush of red filled her cheeks, for there, just as she had expected, stood Aqualad, smiling warmly at her. He, just like most the rest of the titans, was dressed for the winter season, although in a pair of black jeans and a heavy blue sweatshirt. Other than the fact that his eyes were the color of an onyx stone, and his long black hair still fell down upon his shoulders, Beastboy would've never known it was the same guy.
"Hello, Raven.. it's nice to see you again." he said properly, smiling warmly again. "Can I step inside?"
"Oh.. uh.. of c-course.." Raven stepped aside, ignoring the amused, yet annoyed, look Beastboy was sending her way, and diverted her eyes down when Aqualad stepped into the room, dufflebag in hand.
"Hey.. nice plac-- Beastboy!!" he dropped the bag beside the door and walked forward, holding out his hand towards the boy.
Beastboy grinned and stood up, offering out his hand as well, and shook Aqualad's. "About time you showed up. We were gettin' worried about you."
"Heh.. traffic." Aqualad grinned back, causing a faint smile from the girl behind him. "So.. where're the others?"
"Shopping." Beastboy answered and shrugged, slipping back down to sit the right way on the couch, then gave a quiet curse at the Game Over screen.
"So, it's just the three of us, hmm?"
"Yup."
"Oh, I don't think I'm too disappointed." Aqualad's gaze drifting back to Raven, causing another bright blush to cross her face, and to make her fidgit uneasily under his smile.
Beastboy rolled his eyes, and restarted his game. "Yeah well.." his tone took on an almost angry sense to it, and he motioned with a free hand towards the hallway. "Go down the hall, swing a right, the second door on your left. Put your stuff in there."
Aqualad smirked at Beastboy's tone, and walked back over beside Raven, bending over and picking up his duffle bag, flinging it over his shoulder. "Alright, thanks."
He took a step to go down the hallway, then stopped and winked at the still blushing girl beside him. "You look nice in that color."
Raven just stared blankly at him, unable to speak a word as he continued his walk down the hallway, the doors swishing closed behind him.
-----
The entire tower was filled with the scent of brewing coffee, and an arrangement of breakfast foods, and it was just enough to lull even Beastboy out of his heavy slumber, which was a rarity in and of itself.
Raven blinked her eyes open slowly, the smell of food being what awoke her. There was no light in her room to represent the time of day it was, so with a groan, she rolled over on her side to get a look at the digital clock on one of her wrought iron nightstands. She blinked twice and sat up to get a better view. Nine? Already? She normally was up at seven or earlier... and it wasn't like she hadn't gotten a decent amount of sleep the night before. She went to bed at a reasonable hour..
The sound of laughter echoed down the hallway from the kitchen, and Raven smiled slightly. She had to admit, even though they were idiots at times, her teammates were the only real family she felt she had in the world. Starfire was exactly like a sister to her now, despite her sometimes airheaded ways, and Cyborg had been starting to grow on her a bit in the same way. She slipped out of bed quietly and effortlessly and reached up to the hook on the back of her door, pulling off her indigo cape that hung there. The door swished open at her signal and she walked out rather quickly, flipping the cape around her to attatch it to the rest of her outfit. Normally she'd hesitate walking out into the madness known as breakfast in the tower, but she had perfect reason to be out with the group now.
She took a step into the kitchen and looked around. It was exactly as it had been every morning ever since she had arrived with them all.. Cyborg was at the stove whipping out his latest creation; Beastboy was hovering behind him, cringing at the wide arrangement of meat products being served; Robin and Star sat rather close in the horseshoe-shaped seating arrangement, flirting with each other; but there was one extra person, standing right behind her as she walked the rest of the way through the open doorway.
No-one had realised her entrance other than Aqualad, and they all jumped rather quickly when she cleared her throat loudly and spoke up.
"Is.. Aqualad awake yet?"
There was a sudden mixture of emotions throughout the room, but most evident was the sudden highpitched giggle emitted from Starfire's mouth, and the low chuckle coming from Robin at the exact same time. Raven raised a violet eyebrow in their direction, and looked towards Beastboy, who had a certain dark look directed towards something behind her, and she didn't even have to look at Cyborg's expression to make her turn around anxiously to see the tall dark boy behind her, grinning.
"Mornin'.." he said simply, still with the grin at the bright flush of red filling up her face, and walked by her, fetching the plate of breakfast Cyborg was holding out to him.
"G-good morning...." she spoke softly, and smiled, taking a seat at the very end of the long couch-like seating.
A dark feeling suddenly crept over Aqualad, and he turned, looking towards the shorter green-skinned boy still glaring at him with all his might. Taking a bite of his toast, he focused in on Beastboy's eyes, smirking.
--Jealous yet?--
Beastboy blinked once, hearing the echoing voice of Aqualad through his head, then continued his steady glare.
'I'm not jealous, I have nothing to be jealous about..' he thought to himself, pretty sure that as of that moment, Aqualad could hear him. The black-haired boy just gave a silent laugh and focused in on Raven's direction with a smile. Within a few seconds, the odd smile on Raven's face turned into an odd high-pitched laugh, and eyes turned upon her cautiously.
Aqualad turned his attention back upon Beastboy, raised an eyebrow, and walked out, winking at Raven before exiting through the doorway.
Oh he really hated that guy.. he hated that guy so bad. Beastboy's eyes fell back onto Raven, actually laughing at a joke that Robin cracked at the two girls, and felt a strong ache fill his body. He didn't know when this had all started, this feeling that seemed to be taking over his body whenever some other guy talked to her, or she talked about another guy or practicly any person for that matter. It seemed to affect him at all times of the day, no matter where he was or where she was. Anything and anyone would remind him of her. Even in his prized video games, while playing, he would immediately relate a character's personality to that of Raven's. It was about driving him up the wall, yet at the same time, he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
'Stupid Aqualad and his stupid Aqualad-ish telepathic abilities...' he thought angrily to himself and got himself a plate of his own food, meat and all, and slumped down across the table from Raven, stabbing a piece of sausage with his fork angrily.
Taking the cup of herbal tea Cyborg had sat in front of her, Raven lifted it to her lips and took a gentle sip of the steaming liquid, and peered over the cup at Beastboy. She hadn't noticed it much, but something did seem to be bothering him, and nothing really bothered him to the point of eating meat often. She opened her mouth to ask him, but snorted to herself and sulked down into the couch, taking another sip of tea. What did she care if he had an attitude problem.. it wasn't her responcibility.
She watched quietly, but still with the higher-than-thou attitude smeared across her face, as Beastboy stuffed the sausage into his mouth and leaned forward on the table to slouch a bit, laying his elbow on the table and his head on his palm. Raven swallowed her tea hard, feeling that odd sensation in her stomach return.. the kind that's almost guilt, but not quite. But.. she had no reason to ask him what the matter was... if it was all that important, Robin and Star could ask. She cast a quick glance at them, and gave a heavy sigh at the continuing flirtation between them, as if no-one else was even at the table to begin with. Guess she had no option now..
"Beastboy?"
He looked up sharply, as if snapping out of some strange trance, and stared at her. "Yeah?"
Raven was completly silent at the steady watch he gave her, unable to say a word, and unable to tear her eyes away from his. There was something there that she hadn't seen before whenever she would cast an annoyed look at him from one of his stupid little jokes; it was bothering her. It was like a deep pit of disappointment, directed straight at her, and for some reason it was actually getting to her head. Maybe it was her fault that he felt this way.. maybe she was doing something wrong.. maybe she said something to offend him. It was starting to make her head spin.
A shatter snapped her out of her thoughts, and everyone's attention was directed to her, the cup of tea in her hand having been engulfed in the black tone of her powers, and exploding in her hands, sending the tea all over her outfit. She jumped up quickly and bit her lip to keep from screaming anything from how hot it was on her bare skin, and grabbed a towel from the counter, pressing it onto her leg quickly. Beastboy jumped up as well.
"You okay?" he said in a panicked tone.
Starfire and Robin, now both shaken out of their conversation, waited for the responce anxiously, both with worried looks through their faces.
"Yeah.. yeah I'm fine don't worry about it.." she cringed lightly and lifting the towel from the burning sensation on her leg, saw the deep red marks beginning to show themselves to her. She lifted a hand, and in a soft blue light, ran her fingers over the burn marks.
"I let my emotions slip..." she said softly, and glanced up at Beastboy's eyes.
---
The rest of the day was pretty much routine, other than the fact of one extra titan tagging along on last-minute shopping trips and the cooking of meals. Although, there was a sense of unease in the air wherever you went in the tower, and it was wearing slowly away and everyone. Even Starfire had caught herself tapping her fingernails nervously on a coffee table as she sat on the couch, looking inbetween Raven, Beastboy, and Aqualad. That was certainly the cause of most of this uncomfortable setting; the three of them. The scabs formed over the rivalry between the boys had been reopened, and were worse than ever, and Raven just seemed to be the gasoline that fueled the flames.
The outing from the previous night between Starfire and Robin had lit it's own sort of flame, and the other titans seemed to be completly unaware of anything of the sort going on in the tower. Sure, it had hit them a few times that the two were sitting a little closer than usual, and that they would disappear at random times, together, and not return for hours at a time... but... it was a free country. It wasn't until later that night that any sort of suspiscion arose within the group of teens, that anything of the romantic sort was going on between them.
It was yet another cold night, although the snow had stopped falling outside, leaving the ground nicely covered, and the city enchanting in the Christmas spirit. It had also warmed up just enough to make the night air bareable enough to be in; but before any of the other titans could speak up about a group-wide outing, the door of Starfire's room had flung open, and the two teenagers that had been hiding there for the most of the evening came strolling out, giggling just loud enough that the four remaining teens in the lounge area to look up from their various tasks, eyebrows raised. Robin was first to come into view, pulling a black leather jacket over his arms, looking back at the red-haired girl in a giggling mess at a corny joke he had said, grinning. He turned, and met the curious eyes of his teammates, and stopped dead in his tracks; Starfire soon walking into the back of him, not even noticing he had stopped.
"Hey guys.. we're going out for a walk around town. We'll be back before eleven." Robin spoke casually, as if this was just another outing linked to capturing a badguy, or maybe just some occasional fun; and why wouldn't the titans buy it? He had said it many times to them, and they had just gone back to their video games and books like it was nothing.
Yeah, except for Starfire's hand linked tightly in his own, and the closeness of which they stood... it was just like any other time. Luck wasn't on his side though, as all eyes in the room focused in upon the gloved hand and the finely sculpted hand, fingers entwined.
Robin cast a glance down, blushed deeply, and let go, still in clear sight of the other titans.
Cyborg smirked and returned to watching his video game; he saw this coming for awhile.. it was nothing to him. "Uh-huh.. just a little walk around town.. gottcha..." the sounds of multiple virtual guns shooting filled the dead silence of the room afterwards.
Robin's cheeks went a deeper red color, but Starfire kept an odd cool, smiling gently and linking her arms around one of his in an embrace. Well the secret was out, why not take advantage of it? But she quickly let go, however, after meeting the eyes of the other three, all frozen in a stare.
Raven, she was the one they were sure they'd get this from; she was the anti-romance, guys-are-pointless, love-causes-pain one of the group, and had pretty much convinced herself that she had Star believing that too after all the endless painful hours at the mall she had spent with her.
Beastboy, on the other hand; they were pretty sure he would've been fine with it, and would've just shrugged it off like Cyborg had... but no, he had to sit there staring at them with this strange emotion on his face. It was unreadable to everyone but the dark-haired boy beside him, who stared at Robin a moment, and smirked.
"Hooked her already? Way to go." Aqualad laughed, then turned his attention at the almost painful look on Beastboy's face. "Hey.." he started, then narrowed his eyes at the blank look he received. The spark of hatred was gone, like Beastboy didn't even care about that anymore.
"Huh?" was the dull responce he gave, and suddenly the heavy feeling that had been hanging around the kitchen earlier seemed to return, and even Cyborg paused his game at it, glancing over at Beastboy with an odd look.
"Man.." Cyborg began to talk, annoyed by the eery silence, and everyone's attention suddenly flew to him in a desperate hope that he could break through it. ".. you ain't right. You sure you're feelin' okay?"
"Yeah.." Beastboy stood, and rubbed his arm. "I think I'll turn in early tonight.."
Everyone looked startled, but Starfire was the only one who even said anything. "But Beastboy, your favorite film of the fake alien monsters invading the planet earth in hopes of conquering it will be on the television tonight."
"Plus it's a Friday night.." Robin added in.
"I don't feel like staying up. I'm sure you'll be okay without me."
"But Beastbo--" Starfire started again, about to make a comment about the early hour it was, but he had already tossed the video game controller over to Cyborg, a clear sign of defeat to whatever problem he was facing.
"I don't feel like staying up." he repeated gently, then cast a glance in Raven's direction before walking up the stairs to go to his room.
The room was quiet a moment upon the doors swishing closed, cutting him off from the other titans, until Aqualad scooted over more towards Raven, crossing one leg over the other and placing his arms behind his head in a relaxed position.
"Oh well.. one less mouth to eat pizza tonight, right Raye?" he cast a glance over at Raven, then frowned. Her focus was still upon the closed doors of the hallway, and her fingers were slowly running themselves along the page of her book, something she only did when she was concentrating heavily on something.
"Raven?"
Raven blinked herself to reality and looked up at him, then gave a weak smile to acknowledge that she heard him.
"Sorry." she said softly, then lifted her book again. She cast yet another glance up towards the door before continuing her pretend reading. They left her alone for the most part when she read, which was good, it left her alone with her thoughts. But, it hadn't gone past the boy beside her, who occasionally had looked away from the video game on the screen to see what she was reading now. It hadn't occured to Raven that she should be turning pages to fool the others, but it did now, as Aqualad's arm draped over the back of the couch and slowly fell down upon her shoulders, causing her to jump and look up at him franticly. His arm dropped down onto her other side, and his finger gently pointed at the page number.
"Nice try.. unless you're a slow reader." Just elusive enough that Cyborg, Robin, and Starfire, all busy doing their tasks, wouldn't pick up on what he meant, but Raven knew, turned bright red, and stood, slipping out of his grasp.
"Yes.. well.."
"Meditating in your room?"
She looked down at him, that calm, gentle, charming smile on his face, and took in a deep breath to repress the blush on her face, and the emotions she suddenly felt.
"Yes."
Before saying another word, or allowing him to, she rushed out the door of the hallway, and slid against the hallway wall with her eyes closed until she was certain that the swishing of the door had signaled it's closing. It was times like these when she understood why teenage humans went insane. The emotions of a teenager were ridiculous. One moment she's feeling something she had never felt before, and the next moment she's feeling hatred for the exact same person, due to a remark they made about another person whom she thought she hated with a vengence.
Kind of ironic, the voice of one of the exact people on her mind spoke up in the darkness of the night-cloaked hallway, causing her to jump out of her thoughts sharply. "Don't tell me you came after me.. I won't believe it."
It was clearly Beastboy's voice, but had a tinge of depression to it. Well, more than just a tinge... it seemed to be more like engulfed in it. Beastboy depressed? Was the world ready for this sort of shock?
A light touch brushed her ankle as her eyes readjusted to the darkness. She looked down, and just beside her sat Beastboy, crosslegged on the floor. With that she slumped against the wall, and slid down until she sat beside him, pulling her knees to her chest.
"Well.. not exactly."
"Figured. I'm sure Aqualad's missing you, so.. I won't bother you anymore until he leaves." She caught the old grin of Beastboy, although much weaker than usual, flash at her. "Then I won't show any mercy."
She smiled softly, then felt her heart skid to a stop when he stood up, much to his word, to leave her alone.
"Is.. that what this is about?" she asked quietly, and immediatly glued her eyes onto the floor, feeling his green ones fall onto her figure instantly.
"What?" he asked sharply; it was clear to her that he clearly knew what she was talking about, though.
"Aqualad.. you're acting this way because of Aqualad being here?" she raised her eyes off the floor to look at him.
Beastboy stood still, staring at her. It made her a bit uneasy to have such a calm steady stare coming from this boy, and fixed upon her, but she took in a deep breath to supress the emotion of fear and nervousness, and waited.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Her heart sank as he turned back around to walk down the hall, only a few yard away from his door where he'd more than likely disappear until he was coaxed out on Christmas morning, and the occasional meal during the day.
Raven slowly stood back up and watched him punch in his password in the keypad next to the door. She looked at the ceiling, and took a deep breath, willing herself to say something before it was too late to.
"Look.." Just about to slip into his bedroom, he stopped, the fingers of his hand still on the doorway, it being all that she could see of him now. She took another deep breath, and continued, knowing she had caught his attention for the time being. "You're a part of the group, you should be out with us." she said in her normal sharp way to him, and heard a soft irritated snort come from his direction, and the fingers started to vanish into the room along with him.
"Wait!" she called out quickly, and took a few steps towards the doorway. With the sudden worry in the tone of her voice, Beastboy stopped moving completly, causing his hopes to raise a bit. He didn't know why.. this was Raven after all. He shouldn't get his hopes up about anything dealing with her..
"If you're going in.." she said quietly, mentally kicking herself, practicly pleading with herself to stop before she got herself in over her head; but the mind can't control the heart, and Robin and Star were always constantly telling her to go with what her heart said. ".. then can I join you?"
Beastboy turned around slowly, and almost jumped out of his skin realising just how close to him she had actually become. He studied her eyes a moment. This had to be some kind of sick joke one of the other titans were playing on him just to show Raven how much of a dork he really was... this couldn't be her own will.
"Please.." she said softly again, and reached up, placing her hand on the doorway, right where the doors would swish closed if he walked completly through them; she was holding them open now.
Well, what could it hurt.. he was already thought of as a moron in her opinion anyways.. "Sure, I guess.." he said quietly, folding his arms over his speeding heart, and stepped through the door.
Raven cast a glance around her a moment before entering the room. She didn't quite need any of the other titans to see this; especially after Starfire and Robin's little thing in the lounge. After making sure the coast was clear, she stepped into the room, removing her hand from the frame of the doorway, and allowing the doors to close firmly behind her.
----
Raven hadn't walked out of Beastboy's room until she was sure he was in a deep restful sleep that she knew he needed. They had sat up all night talking about everything they could think of to talk about, and she found out not only how Beastboy got to be, well, Beastboy, but also that she actually had things in common with him; truth be told... she honestly did like him now. Who knew she could actually like the moron...
It was about three in the morning now, and here she was, sitting in a cold dark kitchen, the cup of tea she had made at around ten in her hands, the one she had abandoned in order to run after Beastboy. It was cold as well, and she didn't truly understand why she was even drinking it cold, but it couldn't kill her.
Deep in thought, she didn't hear the door of the kitchen open slowly, and didn't even notice anyone had walked in until the light flipped on, blinding her at the exact same time of shocking her. She jumped up, eyes shaded by a hand from the bright light above her, and focused in on who walked in.
"Ah, so we have a nightowl on the staff of the titans, eh?"
Raven sunk back down into her seat with a soft relieved sigh, and returned to staring into the cold liquid in her cup as Aqualad sat down across from her with a smirk. She looked up at him, and studied the expression on his face. He was obviously completly awake, and had been for some time. It made sense, though, that he was up at this hour. He hadn't gotten up until around noon.
"No.. I just couldn't sleep." she confessed, and slid the base of her cup on the table, causing a light skidding noise, and the liquid to swirl. "What are you doing up?"
With a shrug, he responded simply to her question. "I, myself, claim to be a nightowl."
Raven just smirked slightly, as if oddly amused in the way he put that, and lifted the cup of cold tea to her lips, taking a slow short sip.
"You're missing a cape."
She looked up at him again, now a clearly amused look on her face, and set her cup down on the table, shoving it more out into the middle than she had before. "He was cold." she spoke quietly, and met her eyes to Aqualad's deep onyx ones to find a look of surprise across his face.
"He? You have a lover I didn't know about or something?" he joked, the grin spreading across his face as he propped his arms over the top of the seat and linked his hands behind his head. His face soon mellowed out when a slight tinge of pink reached her cheeks, and her eyes dropped back down upon the table. He sat upright, narrowing his eyes at her. "You don't.. do you?" he asked cautiously.
"I wouldn't consider him a lover yet." Raven ran a few fingers through her hair, actually able to go completly through it without having to meet the hood of her cape down along her neck. It felt weird to not wear the deep purple piece of fabric around her body, but she figured she would get used to it. Didn't expect to have to face up to Aqualad, or anyone else for that matter, though.
"Well that's goo-- yet?"
Another tinge of pink went through her cheeks, and a faint eery sound was emitted from the potted plant behind Aqualad's head. He turned just in time to see Raven's powers be supressed and the black vanish from around the pot.
"Uh.. huh..." with the hairs on the back of his neck now standing up on their own, he turned back around to look at Raven. "So who is--" he paused for a moment. He turned his back on her for one moment and she vanishes.. it just figures. "--he.." he finshed slowly, and snorted under his breath at the kitchen door closing slowly in the breeze Raven made on her abrupt leaving. "Women."
---
Days had seemed to fly by right before all of their eyes, and one by one the dates on the simple calendar in the kitchen were being crossed out with a thick red slash by Beastboy as a morning routine. He had started it right after he had gotten back with Starfire from the Black Friday crowds in November, and the calendar had gone from a pale sheet with black numbers and a few reminders, to a mocking of a candycane with all the red slashes filling up the squares. Now only one was left to fill before the bright red circle on Christmas Day. Yeah, it was Christmas Eve now, and there were even stronger mixed emotions filling the inhabitants of the tower.
Starfire and Beastboy seemed to take on an even more child-like demeanor, and eyed the presents under the tree, even taking the time to slip down on their knees and take one with their name on it, shaking it and listening to any hints of what the gift was; something Beastboy spent a good ten minutes teaching the alien girl how to do.
Robin was still infatuated with making sure every little decoration was in it's perfect place, and everything was completly perfect in and of itself.
Cyborg was busy being infatuated with the marathons on the television of his favorite movies and shows, and the thought that they officially had the day off from any sort of 'work' for today and tomorrow. He had nothing to worry about now but what to watch between the hundreds of channels the TV gave him to choose from.
Although Aqualad and Raven had a quite different outlook; Raven sat on the couch, half-watching the shows that Cyborg was watching, but in her own usual dark sullen corner. Christmas was something she didn't feel like the others, although she had anticipated it just a bit the year before. There was something about this year that was different.. like Christmas wasn't really something to celebrate this year. It didn't feel like any holiday, it just felt like a giant rush of stress and stupidity. There were only three or four small presents under the tree for her, and they were probably just stupid little trinkets everyone picked up for her while they were out shopping for their friends that mattered. This was compared to the amount of presents the others had gotten, of course. Robin, Starfire, Beastboy, Cyborg.. even Aqualad had at least ten presents each; but what did it matter to her.. it was just a stupid holiday anyways.
Alright so Christmas wasn't really about the amount of presents under the tree.. it was supposed to be about family. Well that went right out the window as well. Her real family was on a complete different planet, and the titans, who she considered to be like a second family to her, seemed to be involved in each other once again, and totally forgot that she was even there. Yeah. Some Christmas.
Aqualad had about the same outlook on it, although he didn't have the thought in the back of his mind about the presents. He had no real family to spend Christmas with, but he did keep in mind that none of the other titans did either, it wasn't something he was facing alone. But he did agree with Raven, who brought it up at the breakfast table that morning, that it didn't feel like any sort of special holiday to him either. The only thing different now from any other day was the acumulation of lights and decorated trees, and the change of music on the radio.
Now he was sitting on the edge of one of the many tables in the lounge-like area of the tower, casting a glance now and then at the titans to see what they were up to at the current moment. Cyborg was still watching television, Starfire had snuck back to her quarters to attempt to complete the wrapping-presents process, Beastboy was almost face-first in the plate of gingerbread cookies that were made, and Robin was attempting to pull the plate away from him. His eyes drifted over to Raven, exactly across from him sitting at a table, but instead of a book of poetry, she held a pencil and a small sketchpad. He had to admit, his curiousity did have a way of carrying him in places he shouldn't go, and this time wasn't any exception.
He slid off the table, casting a glance around at the busy boys to make sure they wouldn't catch him in the act, and walked across the walkway to the table where Raven sat sketching, and slipped down into the seat next to her, looking over her shoulder to see what she was drawing. Faintly drawn on a background of clouds and stars was the figure of a floating young woman, long dress and hair flowing in a wind that was evidently there. Raven currently had a purple colored pencil in her hand, and was adding small tints of color the skin of the woman. Aqualad eyed the creation over a moment before saying anything, and smiled. It was a beautiful picture, and he had no idea that Raven had the ability to create something like that. He continued to watch her color in the eyes a solid purple, and the hair flowing around her figure a deep purple as well. Then his eyes caught the one part of the picture that made him understand the method to her madness. The small gemstone in the middle of the woman's forehead, tinted red from the colored pencil sitting on the table. Now that it was coming together with color, he understood just who she was.
"Is that was you look like with your cape off?" he joked quietly, and she looked up at him, not at all startled by his presense. He just figured she knew he was there the entire time.
"Not.. entirely." she motioned to the billowing piece of fabric caught up in the wind as well behind the girl. Aqualad nodded.
"Ah.. but she is you, right?"
"Yeah.." she said quietly, and added a few more details to her picture before tearing it off the pad and lifting it up a bit, signing the bottom of it and placing the date. She held it in her hand a moment, eyeing it over, and snorted under her breath. "Although it's hideous."
Aqualad raised an eyebrow and caught her glance, smiling. "I think it's gorgeous."
"Thank you." Raven said blandly and took the other side of the picture in her opposite hand, ready to crumble it and toss it aside, but Aqualad's hand grabbed the top of it. She looked up at him curiously, and he gave another smile.
"If you don't like it, I'll take it off your hands."
Raven studied his expression a moment, then shrugged and let go, letting him lift it to his own hands to examine close-up. "Suit yourself." She slid out of her seat and began walking towards the staircase leading up to the roof, grabbing one of the multiple jackets flopped over a large chair as she walked by. "Think of it as an early Christmas gift or something."
Aqualad looked up and smirked, and pulled himself out of the U-shaped seating as well, following close behind. "My first gift.. from Raven of all people." he mused, plucking the black leather jacket from the chair.
Raven stopped and looked back at him, eyebrows raised. "Following me for a reason? If there's any chores you want me to do, they'll have to wait. I have more important things to do with my time."
Aqualad stopped with a confused look. "Uh.. no.. I was just going to talk to you.. that a problem?"
"No." Raven responded cooly and continued her walk.
---
The wind was a cruel reminder that it was winter as they made it up to the top of the building, where the helicopter pad and other such things were located. Aqualad hoped the others wouldn't miss them too badly and come looking for them, because it would make an awkward moment; Raven didn't really talk to anyone willingly.
"You have something you want to ask me." Raven said sharply, causing him to be quickly shaken out of his thoughts. "You would rather be with the others than up here with me in this cold air, so what is it so you can go back to the ones you enjoy."
Aqualad opened his mouth to begin, but it suddenly hit him just the way that Raven had spoken those last words. They were much softer than the sharp, caustic ways he was used to her speaking in, and were barely audible with her head hung just slightly and her back to him. He took a step towards her and put a gentle hand on her shoulder, causing her to turn around slightly to look at him.
"Now com'on.. you all are like a family to me now. That makes you like, my sister or something." he said simply, so simply in fact it made Raven smirk. "I'm serious." he added at the smirk, causing her to even her tone of emotion out and turn completly.
"A sister.." she said softly, as if trying to make herself understand it, and she smiled gently, shaking her head. "I haven't heard that one before." With that she brushed the snow off a crude cement bench and sat down, pulling her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.
Aqualad followed suit and sat down beside her, leaning forward to look her in the face. "I'd believe it, but you are. That's not a problem, is it?"
"No.." she answered quietly and cast a look out onto the snow-covered landscape of the city, then sighed. Despite that comment, and the boy who said it still seated right beside her, she still felt that gaping hole in her being; the feeling she could only describe as the feeling of being alone. What if she felt like this for longer than just Christmas? What if this was permanant... it had grown so much stronger in the past few days... almost to the point of being completly unbareable. She actually had hopes for last night, and the possibility of beginning a relationship with someone, like Robin and Star had, but it hadn't happened.
Aqualad leaned forward even more to capture the look on her face, and frowned. "Enough with what I was going to ask you.." Raven's attention diverted his way. "There's something wrong, and I mean seriously wrong."
She just sighed once more and refocused on the skyline, glaring hard at it. "Com'on Raye..." Aqualad's voice said in a baby-ish tone, playing with the irritating nickname they had created for her. She rolled her eyes and looked his way.
"You ever feel like you're completly alone, although you're not?" she asked sharply, and he blinked at her twice. She just snorted and pulled her knees closer to her chest. "Yeah.. that's what I figured. Don't bother with me, Aqualad, you don't understand."
"You mean that feeling where you feel like you're getting sucked into a dark hole and no-one cares about you so they just leave you to die? Like you call out for someone to love you but they completly ignore your presense and go about with their happy lives?"
Raven opened her mouth to respond, staring at him, startled; but he continued, his voice growing a bit more gruff with every word he spoke.
"And that feeling when you're trying to make it on your own because it seems to be the only thing that works, and yet it seems to just kill your spirit twice as much with every step you take? Or how about--"
Raven hand flew up to his mouth, cutting him off from continuing. "Yeah... that one." she answered softly.
Aqualad didn't seem at all phased, and waited until her hand lowered before speaking in his normal cool tone. "So you're feeling that one now?"
"Sounds like you have battled it before..."
"A few times." he ran his fingers through his thick black hair as he spoke. "But I got through it just fine."
"How? How could you fight through this?"
"I found a girl." he said with a gentle smile, and immediatly Raven's heart sank, and she looked the other way.
"Great.. you found love. Should've figured I'd be stuck in this for awhile." she said coldly, and Aqualad's gloved hand grabbed her chin, turning her head to look at him.
"Don't give me that. You have the ability to love, and don't tell me anything else, because it'd be a lie."
"But--"
"No buts. You have someone right here who loves you, and I'm not talking about me." with that Aqualad stood up, letting go of her chin, and began walking back towards the staircase they came from.
Raven stood up sharply, eyes wide in his direction. "You.. mean Beastboy, right?"
Aqualad smirked. "No, I made that last part up about me knowing who it is... but you asking that shows right there that you yourself know who he is."
Raven stared harder at him, then hugged herself gently from the cold wind whipping around her, and turned bright red; the small light on the side of the building above her turning a black color.
"Uh.. Raven..." Aqualad pointed upwards towards it, and then spoke gently, "... and you know what to do about this to make it better.." he finished before darting inside, out of the blistering cold, and Raven cast a glance upwards, quickly surpressing her mind powers before the light exploded.
----
Darkness had taken over the tower, and everyone had keyed down a bit, the Christmas spirit finally dawning on them all. It had been a decent dinner, and the first night that Cyborg and Beastboy created something delicious while working together, and even the tofu creations were edible. All of the titans were pretty much full, and most of them were huddled around a video game that had been dragged out for play for the rest of the night until they decided to go to bed. Surprisingly four controllers weren't needed, as Beastboy agreed to let Robin teach Starfire how to play the game; so with Starfire in his lap, and speaking the instructions gently into her ear, their two fighting characters proceeded to lay hell down on Cyborg's butt.
After a few minutes of play, Starfire caught on, and burst into a giggling mess at just how well she was playing. Robin stared down at his controller, then back at the screen in shock as the victory music suddenly started playing.
A loud shrieking gasp came from Starfire's mouth, with another giggle. "I won?"
Cyborg, Aqualad, and Beastboy stared as well, and Raven, sitting in a chair a ways behind them, gave a low chuckle. "Uh.. yeah." Robin stated slowly. "You beat me."
"She beat you bad too, man.." Cyborg commented, causing a side-glare from Robin. "She totally wiped the floor with you!"
Starfire gave another giggle at the remark. "Cyborg, that's silly. Robin's sitting right here under me.. I did not 'wipe the floor' with him."
The boys rolled their eyes, and Raven chuckled again, causing Beastboy to cast a glance back at her. She was seated in one of the black couches in the back, reading one of her usual books. He turned around just a little bit more to watch her, with a soft smile across his face. She sat in the glow of the large Christmas tree which was placed behind her, her skin to look a warm peach tone, and her hair to sparkle.
The feel of eyes upon her caused her to look up to the grouping of titans on the other side of the room, and instinctively, her eyes raised to meet Beastboy's. Both turned bright red, but didn't look away for some odd reason that neither could explain.
Beastboy mouthed the word 'hi', causing Raven to give a warm smile and return to reading her book, sinking into the couch a bit more. He took a deep, yet airy breath and looked back at the TV screen, thankful that the others hadn't caught that little moment.
Beastboy sat a few more minutes, watching the others play the game like nothing was wrong, but he soon grew antsy. He felt that.. that click when he looked back at Raven and she looked at him. It was there, it was something he couldn't deny now. He needed to take a moment and think about this without all the noise. He took a deep breath, and stood, feeling the others' eyes fall upon him immediatly. "I'm going to go hang in my room for a bit.. all this cheering's givin' me a headache."
The others just shrugged and continued watching the TV, although Raven's eyes stayed upon him, much to his pleasure. He stepped around the couch and walked towards the hallway, right past where the girl sat, and her eyes followed him seemingly discretely, over the top of her book. The hallway doors closed, and Raven cast a look over to the group of teens. They seemed pretty distracted... they might not realise her leaving. She stood up slowly, laying her book down upon the couch where she had been seated, and slowly snuck out of the room, disappearing into the hallway herself before anyone noticed.
Aqualad looked back at the sound of the doors swishing closed yet again, thinking it was Beastboy coming back in for something, and smirked when he realised no-one was there, and that Raven was also missing from her usual place.
----
Beastboy looked up sharply from his dresser when Raven walked in abruptly. He hadn't locked it, so the doors were free to enter and exit out of, but still.. seeing her.. there... it was weird.
"Yeah? Something you need?" he asked quietly.
Gathering all the strength she could muster, and supressing her powers down to a dull roar, she took a few quick steps in his direction. "Yes.. something I need badly."
Before he could even react or ask her what it was that was the need, he found himself against the wall beside the dresser, and caught up in the most glorious feeling he could've thought of feeling at the time. Raven slipped her lips off of his slowly, and breathed her words. "You.."