By GARY CURTIS

'The Powerpuff Girls' created by Craig McCracken and all related characters owned by Cartoon Network.

 

STOCK SHOT-CITY OF TOWNSVILLE SKYLINE-DAY

NARRATOR: The City of Townsville...is a city of equality!

OPENING SCENE WITH VOICEOVER

[Under the morning sun, a man in a business suit waves goodbye to his wife, who is standing in the doorway of their home, holding a baby. He gets in his car and drives off to work as she waves goodbye. She is wearing a typical housewife's apron. Simultaneously, at the house next door, a woman in a business suit does the exact same thing as her male neighbor, while her husband is the one wearing the apron and holding the baby.]

NARRATOR: For here, in this shining example of egalitarianism, the men and womenfolk of Townsville go about their daily duties of going off to work and raising their families in complete equality. Yes, there is no battle of the sexes here, because that battle has already been fought and won by...

[Stock shot of the POWERPUFF GIRLS in one of their group poses, smiling proudly and triumphantly, arms crossed.]

NARRATOR: ...The Powerpuff Girls!

MONTAGE with VOICEOVER

NARRATOR: For no matter if it be boy...

[The Girls beating up the Gang Green Gang.]

NARRATOR: ...girl...

[The Girls slamming the cuffs on Princess Morbucks.]

NARRATOR: ...man...

[The Girls pounding on an assortment of male villains, including Mojo Jojo, Fuzzy Lumkins, and Major Man.]

NARRATOR: ...woman...

[The Girls finishing off Sedusa.]

NARRATOR: ...or even those who aren't really sure WHAT they are...

[The Girls trashing HIM.]

NARRATOR: ...when it comes to battling the forces of evil, these little ladies show preferential treatment to no one!

[The Girls stand on a pile of vanquished foes, just like in the opening sequence of the show.]

NARRATOR: And this equality even extends to the halls of government!

CUT TO: EXT-TOWNSVILLE HALL-DAY

CUT TO: INT-MAYOR'S OFFICE

[MAYOR MAYOR'S head is lying on his desk. He is asleep, drool coming out of his mouth. His assistant SARA BELLUM stands next to the desk, she is seen standing sideways to camera; her hands on her hips.]

BELLUM (sighs): Yeah, right! I do the work, he gets the credit! No one ever sees the real me!

NARRATOR: -sniff- Me either! I know just how she feels. But enough about that.

[Stock footage of Sara talking to the Girls, then the Girls destroying the Rowdyruff Boys with just a kiss.]

NARRATOR: After all, wasn't Ms. Bellum the one who convinced our heroes that they were stronger than those miscreant Rowdyruff Boys? You bet she was! But, wait!

CUT TO: EXT-TOWNSVILLE VOLCANO MOUNTAIN-DAY

[Shot of the observatory that sits atop the volcano; the lair of the evil MOJO JOJO.]

NARRATOR: It seems I'm not the only one who remembers that.

CUT TO: INT

[A depressed looking Mojo stands looking at three framed pictures hanging on a wall. They are evilly grinning portraits of the dear departed Rowdyruff Boys, Brick, Boomer and Butch. In the background, a TV set is on, blaring a commercial.]

TV VOICE (over applause): Welcome back to the Lilly Pond show, and today's special guests, the Powerpuff Girls!

MOJO: Huh?!

[Pan from Mojo's POV to the TV. On screen to the left is a thirty-something female talk show host with dark hair. Her name is LILLY POND. She is seated at a desk, a coffee cup rests upon it. To her left, seated in chairs, are Blossom, Buttercup and Bubbles. Blossom and Buttercup are looking at Ms. Pond and holding coffee mugs, while Bubbles is intently crayoning something on a sheet of paper, her tongue sticking out in concentration, her mug pinned between her knees.]

Ms. POND: So, Girls, how do three female superheroes survive in a man's world?

BLOSSOM (full of confidence): Oh, it's not a man's world at all, Ms. Pond! We're all equals. I think we've shown that a girl can do anything just as good as any boy!

[Ms. Pond smiles at the answer, while the crowd applauds loudly. Blossom looks quite pleased with herself.]

BUTTERCUP (angrily): Speak for yourself, Blossom! I'm better'n ANY stupid boy!

[Blossom turns to look at her in shock. Ms. Pond grins and a few shouts of 'You go, girl!' are heard from female voices in the audience. Bubbles looks up from her crayoning.]

BUBBLES: Yeah! See the pretty picture I drew?

[She holds it out to Ms. Pond.]

BUBBLES: It's a girl flower beatin' up a boy flower!

[Everyone laughs. Suddenly, the TV set goes dark. The POV once again becomes the camera's, on Mojo as he holds the TV remote with a look of disgust.]

MOJO: Those accursed Powerpuff Girls! They insult me in my own lair even when they are not in the lair of Mojo Jojo!

[He turns to look sadly at the pictures on the wall again.]

MOJO (sighs): Ah, my dear, evil boys. Your rottenness brought tears of joy to my eyes until you were destroyed by those accursed girls! As much as I do not want to admit it, they are correct. Girls are as good as boys, for if they were not you would be better than they and you would still be destroying the world which you are not, therefore...

[His eyes fly open. He suddenly gets an evil look and pounds his fist into his other hand.]

MOJO: That's IT!! I will prove to the world that girls can be just as EVIL as boys! I have always wanted to destroy the Powerpuff Girls and rule the world, now I can do both at the same time! Muahahahaha!!!

[He looks at the portraits one more time and the boys' grins seem to become wider.]

MOJO: We will have our revenge, my sons!!

NARRATOR: Oh, what evil scheme has Mojo cooked up this time? Whatever it is, it can't be good for our Girls!

CUT TO: EXT-DAY

[An aerial shot down onto the suburb of Pokey Oaks, with the Townsville skyline in the distance. We follow a car on a street, and rapidly zoom in on it. Inside the car, PROFESSOR UTONIUM is driving, Blossom is strapped into the passenger seat next to him. Buttercup is in the rear seat behind Blossom, Bubbles next to her behind Professor.

NARRATOR: Speaking of which, let's see what the Utonium family is up to, as they return from their busy day at the studio...

BLOSSOM (anxious): How was I, Professor?

UTONIUM (smiling): You did just fine, Blossom.

[She beams with pride.]

BUBBLES (joyful): Oh, Professor! That was so much fun!

BUTTERCUP (scowls with her arms crossed): Yeah, Bubbles, right up until you spilled Kool-aid all over Ms. Pond!

[Bubbles puts her hands to her mouth in embarrassment. Blossom's happy expression disappears, remembering.]

BUBBLES: But I SAID I was sorry!

UTONIUM (still smiling): No harm done, Bubbles. It'll-

OFF CAMERA SOUND EFFECT: Bzztt! Bzztt! Bzztt!

[They all react with surprise.]

BUTTERCUP: It's the hotline!

[Pan to the dashboard. There is a small version of the clown's face built into it, the red nose flashes. We see Blossom's hand reach in and grab the receiver that is set into the dash above the face. Pan back to the four of them, Blossom is holding the phone.]

BLOSSOM: What, Mayor? Mojo's threatening to destroy Townsville? We'll be right there!

[The Girls crash through the roof of the car. Buttercup calls out as they leave, her words trailing off.]

BUTTERCUP: We'll be home for supper....

UTONIUM (sadly): Great. I'll start it as soon as I fix the roof...again.

STOCK SHOT-TOWNSVILLE HALL

CUT TO: INT-MAYOR'S OFFICE

[Mayor is sitting behind his desk, Ms. Bellum standing in front. The Girls crash through the ceiling and land on the floor.]

MAYOR: B'wah, Girls! Thank goodness you've come!

BLOSSOM: Where is he, Mayor?

[Bubbles looks around, confused.]

BUBBLES: Yeah, where is that monkey?

BUTTERCUP: Hey, you said he THREATENED to destroy Townsville. Why isn't he just DOING it?

BELLUM: Girls, take a look at this.

[She hands Blossom a note and they gather round her to read it. We see it from their POV as Blossom reads it out loud.]

BLOSSOM: 'Powerpuff Girls: I require your assistance in locating an object that is lost, as I have looked everywhere for it and it is not in any of the places I have looked. If the object is not located, I will destroy Townsville! Signed, Mojo Jojo'. Hmmm. What could it be?

BUTTERCUP: I know! He lost his mind! Ha ha ha!

[Everyone laughs.]

BLOSSOM (still chuckling): No, Buttercup, he would need that, along with his weapons, so it can't be those!

BUBBLES: I bet he lost his teddy bear!

[Mayor and Sara sputter, trying to contain themselves. They burst out laughing, Mayor pounding the desk with his hand. Blossom giggles but Buttercup frowns at Bubbles, who thinks everyone is laughing at her and looks sad.]

BUTTERCUP: Dummy!

BELLUM: Haha! No, Buttercup! Ahaha! That IS what he lost! Ahahahaha!!

[Blossom and Buttercup look incredulous, while Bubbles beams happily.

BUTTERCUP (doubling over): Mojo's got a teddy bear? Ah ha ha haaaa!

BLOSSOM: That's nothing to destroy Townsville over!

BUBBLES: Yeah! I lost Octi once, and I never destroyed Townsville!

BUTTERCUP: No, Bubbles, just our bedroom.

MAYOR: Well, Girls, haha, don't just stand there! (cough) Townsville is in great peril!

BELLUM: Aha! Hurry, Girls! Hahahahaha!!

BLOSSOM (frowning): Ohhhhh, okay! Come on, let's go.

[They fly back through the hole they made, leaving Mayor pounding on his desk, and Bellum leaning on it, in hysterics.]

NARRATOR: Don't do it, Girls! Can't you see it's a trap?

CUT TO: THE SKY ABOVE TOWNSVILLE-DAY

[The Girls are in flight, speeding toward Mojo's lair, which is in view in the distance.]

BUTTERCUP: How the heck are we supposed to find a stupid bear?

BLOSSOM: Well, Buttercup, we could start by asking Mojo where he saw it last!

[Bubbles stops suddenly and points toward the ground. Her sisters stop, too.]

BUBBLES: Girls! Look!

[She takes off toward the ground, her sisters in pursuit. Camera POV changes to above and behind them as they dive for the ground near the base of Volcano Mountain. We see the backs of their heads, Bubbles out in front. As the ground grows closer, we can see an object that looks like a stuffed bear growing larger.]

BUBBLES: I see it! There it is!

BLOSSOM: Geez Louise, it's right out in the open!

[Camera POV changes to a ground level shot as they float down to the toy. Blossom picks it up.]

NARRATOR: Well, whaddaya know! He does have a teddy bear, aha! Ahahaha! Oh, wait. I still say it's a trap.

BLOSSOM: Hey, there's a tag on the back!

[POV from behind her as she reads the note that's pinned to the toy.]

BLOSSOM: This teddy bear is the property of Mojo Jojo, therefore you should not be touching it, because it is not yours, unless it is lost, meaning that Mojo Jojo does not know where it is, in which case you should return it to him immediately so that it will no longer be lost, and therefore you will no longer be touching it.

BUTTERCUP: Oh, brother! Let's just give it back to him and go home!

CUT TO: TOP OF OBSERVATORY

[The Girls are standing outside Mojo's door. Blossom raps on it, holding the bear under her other arm.]

BUTTERCUP: Come on, he's not home! Let's go!

BLOSSOM: No, Buttercup, if we leave it out here, something might happen to it and he'll destroy Townsville!

[She tries the door and it opens.]

BLOSSOM: Hey, it's unlocked!

[She floats inside.]

BUBBLES: I don't think we should go in there...

[But she and Buttercup follow her in anyway and the door shuts behind them.]

CUT TO: INT

[The Girls look around the empty lair. They hear what sounds like water running, and something else. They look toward the bathroom and see the door is shut.]

MOJO (off camera): Do do do, do do do do...

BLOSSOM: I think he's in the shower...

BUTTERCUP: I'm not going in there, no way!

BLOSSOM (yelling, while Bubbles giggles): Hey, Mojo! We found your teddy bear!

CUT TO: MOJO

[He stands, fully dressed, outside the bathtub while the water runs. He rubs his hands together, an evilly gleeful look on his face.]

MOJO (softly): Now I have them!

MOJO (loudly, his voice echoing): Oh, Powerpuff Girls! You have located my lost item!

BLOSSOM (off camera, loudly): Does that mean you won't destroy Townsville?

MOJO (softly): No, I think I will let YOU do that, muahahaha!

MOJO (loudly): Of course not! Mojo Jojo always keeps his word!

CUT TO: GIRLS

BUTTERCUP: Yeah, right!

BLOSSOM: Great, Mojo! We'll just leave your bear here and get go-

CUT TO: MOJO

MOJO (looking startled): No! Do not leave! Did the Mayor not tell you about the reward?

CUT TO: GIRLS

GIRLS (elated): A reward? YAY!

CUT TO: MOJO

MOJO: That's right! I wish to give it you personally, so please just make yourselves comfortable. I will be out of here very soon! Oh, and please instruct Bubbles not to touch my priceless vase, as it is priceless and I would not want to see it broken!

CUT TO: GIRLS

[They are heading for a couch to sit down and wait when Bubbles sees the vase standing on a small table. She floats over to it, extending her hand.]

BUBBLES: Oh, you mean this one? Oops!

[She puts her hands to her mouth in horror as it falls to the floor and shatters.]

BLOSSOM AND BUTTERCUP: BUBBLES!!

CUT TO: MOJO

MOJO (softly, grinning): Piece of junk!

BLOSSOM (off camera): Sorry, Mojo!

MOJO: Oh, that is all right! Please, be seated, and whatever you do, do not go into my refrigerator. There is cake and pizza and many other good things which I intend to-

[The sound of a log being buzz-sawed comes from the other room. Mojo grins a huge grin.]

CUT TO: GIRLS

[They stand, happily rubbing their stomachs. The refrigerator door hangs open; empty pizza boxes, an empty cake server, and other items indicating that food has been eaten are scattered about them. Buttercup belches loudly, shattering the vase that the Girls had hastily put back together.]

BUTTERCUP: Uh, oh.

CUT TO: MOJO

MOJO (grinning, but sounding angry): What, you have eaten my food? Well, no matter. Just sit down, I will be right out, and whatever you do, do not look at the clock to make the time go faster!

CUT TO: GIRLS

[Sure enough, they do exactly what he told them to not do.]

MONTAGE

[The camera rapidly switches back and forth from one face to another, as each Girl stares at a ticking clock. In reality there is only one clock, but the series of cuts makes the walls appear to be covered with clocks of various sizes; all with swinging pendulums. The camera cuts from a Girl to a clock, and so on. The ticking in the room grows louder and louder, and one by one, their eyes glaze over and their mouths hang open.]

WHIP PAN TO BATHROOM DOOR

[Mojo steps out, and pumps a fist in triumph.]

MOJO: Hot dog, I have done it!

WHIP PAN TO GIRLS

[They are floating, hunched over, with their arms hanging loosely in front of them. Their eyes are spinning circles as they stare at a clock, hypnotized. The camera POV changes to take all four into the scene.]

MOJO: Now, to see if it really works! Powerpuff Girls, you are now dogs!

[He snaps his fingers. The Girls drop to the floor and immediately run on all fours to the front door. They scratch at the door and whine.]

MOJO: Oh no! I have forgotten that they have just eaten and I do not have time to take them for a walk! Ok, Ok, you are Powerpuffs again!

[He snaps his fingers again and they float back toward him in a trance.]

MOJO (pointing): The bathroom is over there! Hurry up so I can finish destroying you!

[They float to the door, open it and disappear inside. Mojo pulls out a large pair of shears and snaps them in the air while looking once more at the portraits of the Rowdyruff Boys.]

MOJO: Welcome back, my sons! Muahahaha!!

DISSOLVE AND FADE IN - SAME LOCATION

[Mojo stands with the shears in hand, making the final snips from Bubbles' hair as a few blonde strands fall into the pile of yellow, red-orange and black hair on the floor. She looks and is dressed exactly like Boomer as she floats in the same trance-like state. Her sisters look like their Rowdyruff counterparts, right down to the red baseball cap worn backward on Blossom's head and the sneakers on their feet. The Girls' clothes and shoes lie in a pile on the floor. When Mojo 'wakes' them, they will have the voices and speech patterns they remember from their previous encounter with the Rowdy's. Mojo takes a step back and smiles, admiring his handiwork. But then, he spots the mess and realizes he has more work to do. His eyes widen.]

MOJO: Oh! I must destroy the evidence of the Powerpuff Girls being here or they will know they have been here even though they are no longer here!

[He grabs a broom and sweeps up the hair, throws the clippings and the clothes in a trash can, and puts the broom back. The Girls continue to float dumbly, and he stands right in front of them.]

MOJO: Powerpuff Girls, you are now...the Rowdyruff Boys!

[He snaps his fingers again, and they come out of their trance. They look at one another and blink, then leap in unison, throwing their heads back and shouting as one.]

GIRLS: We're back!

[Zoom in and whip pan from one to the other, in turn, as each grins evilly.]

BLOSSOM: Brick!

BUBBLES: Boomer!

BUTTERCUP: Butch!

[Camera pulls back to show all three. They exchange a joint high-five in midair.]

GIRLS: The Rowdyruff Boys!

BLOSSOM (pointing): Hey! It's Mojo!

[Camera pulls back to include all four.]

MOJO: Hello, boys.

BUBBLES (excited): Pops! Boy, are we glad to see YOU!

BUTTERCUP: Dude! You won't BELIEVE what happened to us!

MOJO (smiling smugly, arms crossed): The Powerpuff Girls kissed you and you went all to pieces! Heh! heh! heh!

[They cross their arms and glare indignantly at him.]

BLOSSOM: Very funny!

BUTTERCUP: Yeah! (swivels her head around, pounding her fist into her hand) So, where'd they go? I wanna finish what we started!

BLOSSOM: Yeah, let's git 'em!

BUBBLES: Grrrr!

MOJO (holds up his hands, smiling): Now, relax, boys. There will be plenty of time for that! Right now, we have more important things to do!

BUTTERCUP: Yeah? Like what?

BUBBLES: Let's go trash Townsville!

MOJO: Oh, no, no, no. We are going to TAKE OVER Townsville!

GIRLS: Awwrright!!!

BUBBLES: Where do we start, by knockin' over the bank?

BLOSSOM: No, stupid, we start at the top, with that joke called the Mayor!

BUBBLES (pointing angrily): Who you callin' stupid?

MOJO (startled): Now, boys, there is no need to fight. Blo-er-ick is correct, once I am the Mayor, with you boys by my side, we will control EVERYTHING! Muahahahaha!!!

[They all laugh, holding their stomachs.]

BLOSSOM: Well, guys, we got a city to conquer!

BUTTERCUP: Maybe we oughta hit the head first. (points toward the bathroom)

BUBBLES: Yeah, good idea!

MOJO: What? Again? You just...

GIRLS (staring at him): Just what?

MOJO: er, just hurry up!

[They look strangely at him, then zip into the bathroom and slam the door. From Mojo's POV the closed door is seen.]

MOJO: I must remember not to call them by their names, as to do so would-

GIRLS (from the bathroom): Aggggghhhhhhh!!!

[Still from his POV, the bathroom door explodes outward and the three are flying straight toward him, snarling and screaming. Camera angle changes to take in all four as Mojo ducks and they sail over his head, and do a sharp turn to come at him again. He stands, and holds up his hand, angrily. They come to a sudden stop.]

MOJO: What is the matter with you?!

BUTTERCUP (pointing at herself): We're GIRLS under these rags!

BLOSSOM (pointing at Mojo angrily): You made us into girls, you dope!

MOJO: I did?

[He is shocked, but quickly realizes his mistake and recovers.]

MOJO: I mean (acting like his old self), I did that on purpose to keep the three of you in line! You will obey me or else!

[They shrink back, surprised.]

BUTTERCUP: Okay, dude, chill!

BLOSSOM: So like, how do we get our old bodies back?

MOJO (having to think fast again): You will have your old bodies back when you...um...uh...when you destroy the Powerpuff Girls! Yeah, that's the ticket! Now, go take over Townsville! And if anyone gets in your way, destroy them!

GIRLS: OKAY!!!

[They take off and crash through the roof, leaving chunks falling down on top of Mojo.]

MOJO (shakes his fist): Cuursses! I must remember to ask Professor Utonium for the name of a good contractor!

NARRATOR: Speaking of the Professor, he must be awfully worried...

STOCK SHOT OF UTONIUM HOME-LATE AFTERNOON

CUT TO: INT-KITCHEN

[Professor is staring at the table, all set for three with plates of steaming food and no one to eat it.]

NARRATOR: ...the poor man has no idea why his Girls are late for dinner.

UTONIUM: Now, where can those three be? I should call the Mayor!

[He is about to reach for the phone on the wall when the hotline goes off. He picks it up.]

UTONIUM: Hello, Mayor?

[Go to split screen, showing Professor at his end and Mayor in his office, looking out the window while waving his free hand wildly. Ms. Bellum is standing to one side. What can be seen through the window are the outlines of some buildings, burning; and the shadow of a large figure flinging its arms. Screams of people and the roar of a monster are heard.]

MAYOR: Professor! I need the Girls right away! Townsville is under attack!

[A huge green fist crashes through the ceiling of the office and pulls back.]

MAYOR: Ahhhhh!

UTONIUM: I'm sorry, Mayor, the Girls aren't here! I was just about to ask you-

[As Mayor looks out the window, the telltale 'chtoosh' of the Girls is heard as their colored streaks whiz past the window at the same time. The sounds of punches landing and the monster roaring are then heard.]

MAYOR: Oh, never mind, Professor, the Rowdyruff Boys are taking care of it. B'wah, g'bye!

[He hangs up, leaving Professor staring at the receiver in his hand.]

UTONIUM: The Rowdyruff Boys?

[Go to full screen in Mayor's office. Ms. Bellum throws up her hands toward her face.]

BELLUM: The Rowdyruff Boys?

MONTAGE

[Cutting quickly from one frightened Townsvillian to another, as they watch the fight; which can only be seen as shadows of the Girls and the monster against buildings. The camera shakes, simulating a mini-quake. First a young woman, then a construction worker, a cop, and finally an elderly couple. Each, in turn, says 'The Rowdyruff Boys?'

[Pan to the actual fight.]

NARRATOR: Oh, Townsville, if you only knew...

[The monster is weird looking. It towers above Townsville Hall, the damaged roof can be seen. The creature has green arms and legs and a yellow chest, covered with scales, but it has a human-like pointed, oval shaped head that is too small to go with the rest of it. The creature's head is hairless, and has one huge eye in the center of its forehead. The Girls have it frustrated as they zip in and out, under its arms and between its legs; hitting it with lasers and their fists. It flails at them uselessly.

BLOSSOM: The game's almost over, football-head!

BUTTERCUP: Yeah, and yer outta time outs!

[Bubbles gives it a final punch in the jaw, and its head comes off. The body crashes down on some buildings.]

BUBBLES: Touchdown!

[Blossom swoops down to grab the head as it falls, hikes it back to Bubbles, who plants it as Buttercup runs up and boots it into the sky. All three hold their arms straight up in the air, just as the extra point sails over the top of a Talking Dog billboard, and out of sight. At that moment, the sign speaks: 'It's good!'

[The Girls meet and jubilantly congratulate themselves. Behind them, a group of bar patrons who had come out to watch the fight are celebrating. The name of the place is 'Dino's Bar and Grill'.]

PATRONS: The Boys are back in town again!

ONE PATRON: Hey! The root beer's on us!

[The Girls take off, flying toward City Hall. They look back, big grins on their faces.]

BLOSSOM: Later, dudes! We got business to attend to!

CUT TO: INT-MAYOR'S OFFICE

[Mayor is at his desk, Ms. Bellum is unseen. The Girls crash through the existing hole and land on the floor, bringing more debris down with them.]

MAYOR: Oh, Rowdyruff Boys! Thank you for saving my city!

BUTTERCUP: Whaddaya mean YOUR city? It's OUR city now!

MAYOR: Oh! Thank you for saving your city! How can I repay you?

[Blossom leans over the desk, with a nasty grin.]

BLOSSOM: You can start by taking your wrinkled butt out of MY chair!

[She grabs his collar, and his mayoring hat falls off onto the desk.]

MAYOR: Sure, no prob- ahhhhh!!

[Blossom throws him in the air toward the door, the camera follows him as he somersaults once and lands on his head.]

WHIP PAN TO GIRLS

[Blossom is leaning back in the chair, her legs crossed and up on the desk. Bubbles and Buttercup flank her on either side with feet spread apart and arms crossed; like good lieutenants. All have nasty grins. Blossom takes off the baseball cap and puts the Mayor's hat on her head.]

BLOSSOM: Whaddaya think, guys?

BUTTERCUP: Ya look like a dork!

[Bubbles laughs and takes the hat. She punches a hole through the top with her fist and puts it back on Blossom's head.]

BUBBLES: That's more like it!

[They all laugh.]

BLOSSOM (rubs her hands together): Now, let's clean up this joint!

BUBBLES: Yeah, we're gonna clean up, all right!

[As they laugh, the camera pulls up and away through the hole in the roof, looking down on them and Mayor, still standing on his head.]

MAYOR: My poor hat!

NARRATOR (dramatically): Oh, this is terrible! The Powerpuff Girls are gone and Townsville is doomed! Mojo Jojo's evil plans have finally succeeded!

NARRATOR (in that somewhat smirking tone of voice): He must be very proud of himself!

STOCK SHOT - EXT- VOLCANO MOUNTAIN OBSERVATORY - DAY

CUT TO: INT - MOJO'S LAIR

[Mojo sits in an easy chair in front of the TV, wearing his red silk robe and his reading glasses. He has a cocktail in one hand and the remote in the other. He glances up at the clock, which tells us it's six PM. He snaps on the set.]

MOJO: Now, to see what my boys have been up to...

[News anchor STANLEY WHITFIELD appears on the screen, along with the Channel Five logo. First, stock shots of the faces of the Rowdyruff Boys appear, then brief footage of the monster fight earlier in the day. Following that, the faces of the Powerpuff Girls are shown. Then, a shot of Townsville Hall, and Mojo Jojo's face superimposed over it. Next, footage of a massive traffic jam outside the Post Office, with Townsvillians stuffing the mailboxes outside from cars and on foot. The word 'LIVE' is superimposed over this footage. Finally, the Powerpuff Girls' faces appear once more, each one encased in a red circle, with a red line across it.]

WHITFIELD: Townsville has new superheroes this evening. The Rowdyruff Boys made their triumphant return, defeating the monster that was ravaging the downtown area. No thanks to the Powerpuff Girls, who were nowhere to be seen. Townsville also has a new Mayor. At 8 PM this evening on this station, Mayor-for-life Mojo Jojo will make a statement which will be repeated several times during the statement. We now take you live to the Townsville Post Office, where citizens are scrambling to mail their new fifty percent tax payments before the midnight deadline. Be sure to make your check payable to Mojo Jojo. Today's major story closes with an announcement from acting military commander Butch that an all-points-bulletin has been issued for the capture of the Powerpuff Girls. Your cooperation is required. In other news..

[Mojo turns the set off.]

MOJO: Ha! The fools, they have ordered their own capture! They will never be found because they are right under their own noses! Well, not actually, because they do not have any...But, this is working PERFECTLY! I, Mojo Jojo, have destroyed the Powerpuff Girls by not destroying them and soon, they will help me rule the world! Muahahahaha!!!

NARRATOR: Oh, I hate it when he gloats, but I have to admit he's right! Isn?t there any way out of this mess? Meanwhile, back at city hall...

STOCK SHOT-TOWNSVILLE HALL-DAY

NARRATOR: ...the Boys are about to get a surprise. I mean, the Girls! Oh, this is so confusing!

CUT TO: INT-MAYOR'S OFFICE

[Blossom is sitting at the desk, looking through a pile of papers. She has the baseball cap back on her head. Bubbles is sitting in a chair, drawing a picture of something. Buttercup looks out the window, arms crossed and scowling in frustration. Mayor is sitting on the sofa, twiddling his thumbs, his ruined hat back on his head. Bubbles floats over the desk, holding out the paper. On it is a drawing of a monster being pounded by the three of them.]

BUBBLES: Hey guys, check this out! Ain't it cool?

[Buttercup grabs it, crumples it into a ball and bounces it off of Bubbles' head.]

BUTTERCUP: Stuff your stupid sissy pictures, Boomer!

BUBBLES (rubbing her head): Oh yeah?!

[They stare angrily at each other, showing their teeth. Blossom throws down the pen she's holding.]

BLOSSOM: I'm gonna bust yer heads open in a minute!

BUTTERCUP (extending both arms toward the window): The heads that need bustin' are out THERE, Brick! I'm goin' crazy in here!

BUBBLES: Yeah, when are we goin' after them girls, huh?

BLOSSOM: I know, I know, but we can't do nothin' 'til Mojo gets here. There's a ton o' work here an' gramps over there ain't up to it!

WHIP PAN TO MAYOR

[He suddenly looks angry and points at Blossom.]

MAYOR: Now listen here, you young whippersnapper! It's impossible to come as far as I have without a cerebellum!

WHIP PAN TO GIRLS

[Their faces show surprise.]

BUBBLES AND BUTTERCUP: A WHAT?!!

BLOSSOM: Something this dude obviously doesn't have...

WHIP TO MAYOR

MAYOR (indignant, pointing): I beg your pardon! Just push that button thingie.

WHIP TO DESK

[Close up of the intercom as Blossom pushes the button. Ms. Bellum's voice comes through the speaker.]

BELLUM: Yes, Mayor? Did those awful boys leave yet?

[The camera pulls back to show Blossom looking at the intercom, very angry. She speaks into it.]

BLOSSOM: No! An' you better git in here if ya know what's good fer ya!

WHIP TO DOORWAY

[From Blossom's POV (assume that all three Girls see the same thing), we see the doorway. Mayor is sitting on the left side of the room. The door opens and Ms. Bellum comes in. They take in every inch, starting at her high heels, up to as far as we ever see.]

GIRLS (slowly, awestruck): Whoa?!

MAYOR (sweeping an arm toward her): Boys, meet my personal assistant, Ms. Sara Bellum!

WHIP TO GIRLS

[Blossom has floated out of the chair and the three of them hover, their mouths hanging open, their eyes wide. Little red hearts appear all around their heads. As the camera pans on them, the hearts go away and they zip right up to Sara.]

BLOSSOM: Hey, Sweetcheeks!

BUTTERCUP: Man, she's hot!

BUBBLES: Word!

[Blossom gets between them and pushes them angrily.]

BLOSSOM: Back off! I saw her first!

[They push and shove each other with the usual 'Did not!/Did too! exchanges. Sara watches this and thinks to herself.]

BELLUM (thinking): How typical! Hmmm, maybe I can distract them long enough until the Girls turn up. I wonder where they could be?

BELLUM (cooing): Now, boys, I don't like fighting.

[They immediately stop. Mayor, unnoticed, quickly tiptoes over to his desk, sits in his chair, and goes to sleep.]

BUBBLES: Not even monsters?

BELLUM: Well, that would be okay. Townsville DOES need saving.

BUTTERCUP: Yeah, well how about those stinkin' Powerpuff Girls? We gotta destroy 'em!

BELLUM: But why? You could be friends and save Townsville together!

[Blossom ponders that for a moment.]

BLOSSOM: Hmmm, we could, 'cept for two things. One, we're (shouts) EVIL! Hahahahaha!!

[The three exchange wicked grins.]

BELLUM (cooing): Boys, I don't LIKE evil!

[The grins disappear.]

BELLUM: What's the other reason?

BUBBLES (embarrassed): Oh! We don't wanna... we don't...

BELLUM: What?

GIRLS (screaming): WE DON'T WANNA BE GIRLS NO MORE!!!

BELLUM: WHAT???!!

BUTTERCUP: We look like stupid girls under these clothes!

BLOSSOM: Mojo told us the only way we get our bodies back is when we destroy the Powerpuffs!

BUBBLES: We gotta find 'em!

BELLUM (thinking): Mojo! Of course! That's the last time anyone saw the Girls! He must have hypnotized them into this, and they have to believe they've destroyed themselves to break the spell!

BELLUM: Well, that wasn't very nice, was it? I agree with you, the Powerpuff Girls must be destroyed! And I think I know where they are!

GIRLS: YAY!

BELLUM: Just sit tight. Oh, and let Mayor sleep, he needs his rest.

NARRATOR: Destroy the Girls? Uh, oh, I think Ms. Bellum's lost it!

CUT TO: PAYPHONE OUTSIDE MAYOR'S OFFICE

[Sara drops a coin in and dials.]

CUT TO: PROFESSOR UTONIUM

[He is still standing in the kitchen, wearing the apron, when the phone rings.]

UTONIUM (distressed): Hello? Oh, Ms. Bellum! Have you seen the Girls? They haven't been home and I'm worried!

CUT TO: SARA

BELLUM: No, Professor, I haven't seen them but they're right here. Now listen...

CUT TO: PROFESSOR:

UTONIUM (smiling): Yes indeedy, Ms. Bellum, I certainly do understand. We have to destroy the Powerpuff Girls to save them! 'Bye now!

[He hangs up the phone and pulls off the apron, revealing his lab coat.]

NARRATOR: I liked that movie too, Professor; but I think you?ve BOTH gone stark raving mad!

STOCK SHOT-EXT-TOWNSVILLE HALL

CUT TO: INT-MAYOR'S OFFICE

[The Girls are standing in a semi-circle, the Mayor seen behind them, still asleep.]

BUTTERCUP: What's takin' so long?

[From their POV, Sara bursts through the door.]

BELLUM: I've found the Powerpuff Girls!

WHIP TO GIRLS

BLOSSOM: Awwrright! Let's rock and roll!

[The camera is on all four. Sara produces three scarves from somewhere (I don't remember ever seeing her with a purse).]

BELLUM: Wait, boys, you'll have to blindfold yourselves with these.

BLOSSOM (suspicious, her eyes narrow): What for?

BELLUM: They've got a secret underground lab! The only way in is with an eye-scan. They know me, and if your eyes are covered, I can sneak you in! Whatever you do, don't use your x-rays, or we'll be caught!

BLOSSOM: Pretty sneaky, but once we're in, we'll finish 'em for good!

BUTTERCUP: Yeah, they can kiss THEMSELVES goodbye this time!

BUBBLES: Hah! Yeah, an' once they're gone, we should kick Mojo's butt for doin' this ta us!

BLOSSOM: Yeah, Sara, yer all right! We oughta help YOU run Townsville!

[Mayor is seen from Sara's POV, still asleep.]

BELLUM (to herself, chuckling): You already do, Girls; you already do!

NARRATOR: Secret underground lab, eh? Now I KNOW she's gone crazy!

CUT TO: A DARKENED TUNNEL

[Sara and the Girls stand in a tunnel lighted only by small red lights along the floor. The lights cast an eerie glow on them. Their backs are to the camera.]

BELLUM: Here we are, boys. The lab's on the other side of that door.

NARRATOR (hushed voice): Well, whaddaya know, there IS a secret underground lab. Geesh, I'm not even sure if I'm still on the same script anymore!

BELLUM: Now, be very quiet.

BUBBLES: I don't see any door!

BUTTERCUP: Duh! We can?t see anything with these blindfolds, you ?

COMPUTER VOICE: Halt! Identify yourself!

BLOSSOM (whispers and elbows her sisters): Shut up, both o? ya!

BELLUM: Sara Bellum.

COMPUTER: Prepare for eye scan.

[A laser beam hits Sara in the face.]

COMPUTER: Recognized.

PROFESSOR UTONIUM'S VOICE: Oh, hi, Ms. Bellum! What's up?

BELLUM: Professor! Are the Girls in the lab? I need to talk to them! The Rowdyruff Boys are holding the Mayor hostage! Why haven't the Girls come to help us?

UTONIUM: They've been training, Ms. Bellum. You know they were almost destroyed the last time, but now they're ready for those Rowdyruff Boys! I'll let you in.

BUTTERCUP: Heh, that's what THEY think!

[Suddenly they are bathed in bright light as the door opens. As Sara guides them in, they whip off the scarves, stuff them in their pockets and look around. The door shuts. This lab looks nothing like the lab the Girls are used to. It is ultra modern, unlike Professor's rather outdated one. Instead of lots of glass tubing, beakers and test tubes and rows of chemical bottles, everything is stainless steel. Various robotic machines stand around the walls, and huge computer banks take up two walls. The Girls have no clue what any of this stuff does. Sara turns to them, and points to a window set high into one wall, overlooking the lab.]

BELLUM: I'll be up there, 'distracting' their Professor, if you boys know what I mean.

BLOSSOM: Heh heh, we sure do. Let's get 'em, guys. Use everything you've got!

[Sara exits through a door. The Girls spread out, crouched, heads swiveling. Suddenly, a klaxon sounds and red lights flash. The Girls duck under tables for cover.]

COMPUTER: Intruder! Intruder!

[With a 'whooshing' sound, pink, green and blue streaks enter the center of the room and the Powerpuff Girls materialize, dressed in standard uniform. They look around for the intruder.]

ALT-BLOSSOM (looking up at the window): Professor! Someone got in!

WHIP PAN TO WINDOW

[Professor is looking down, completely unworried.]

UTONIUM: Oh, it's just Ms. Bellum, Girls, she came over to warn us about-mmffff!!

[Suddenly, Sara?s hands cover his mouth and he seems to be pulled back, out of view.]

WHIP PAN TO LAB

[The three alternate Powerpuffs look shocked.]

ALT-BLOSSOM: Professor!

BELLUM (off camera): Get 'em, boys!

ALT-BUTTERCUP: You traitor! Blossom, watch out!

[Buttercup leaps out from under a table, catching Alt-Blossom unaware, grabs her by one arm and slings her into a machine. It falls down on top of her. At the same time, Blossom attacks Alt-Bubbles with eye lasers and punches, driving her back into a wall, cracking it, while she shrieks.]

ALT-BUBBLES: I can't believe Ms. Bellum brought the Rowdyruffs HERE! Ahhhhaaiieeeeeeee!!!!

BUBBLES: Believe it, sissies!

[Alt-Buttercup charges at her, but Bubbles does a hand-spring and kicks Alt-Buttercup in the jaw, sending her crashing into the ceiling. She thuds to the floor near her sisters amid a shower of dust and ceiling chunks. The three stand up and the two groups glare at each other across the open space. Alt-Blossom points angrily at the Girls.]

ALT-BLOSSOM: We beat you once and we can do it again!

BUBBLES: Bring it on, super-bimboes!

BUTTERCUP: Yeah, this time, try kissing my AGGGHHHH!!!

[The Girls are blasted by combination hand and eye beams, frying them where they stand. They collapse on the floor, shake off the soot, and slowly open their eyes to see the Alt-Puffs staring down at them.

ALT-BLOSSOM (to Buttercup): You watch your mouth!

BUTTERCUP: uhh...uhh..do I still have one?

BLOSSOM: Aw, get up, ya wuss!

[She hits Alt-Bubbles in the legs with a rolling block, knocking the three Alt-Puffs to the floor. The Girls are soon on top, pounding them in their faces with a rapid series of left-right combinations. They seem to be gaining the upper hand when the alt-sisters blast them simultaneously with eye-lasers, forcing them back; and then are kicked in the chest and sent spinning backward into three more pieces of machinery, destroying it. They climb out of the wreckage slowly, shaking their heads, and look across at the other group. The alt-Puffs are ready and waiting.]

BUBBLES: What's goin' on, Brick? They're a whole lot tougher than before!

BLOSSOM: I dunno, man! This ain't good!

[They fly at the group, firing, kicking, punching, chopping, tripping, anything they can think of. All of it is returned equally. As one of the Girls successfully downs an alt-Puff, one of the others is right there to put her into a wall, a table, some machinery or computer equipment, only to receive a similar fate from one of the other Girls, who then gets creamed by a different alt-Puff. And so it goes, neither side winning. The real loser is the lab; it is coming apart chunk by chunk. The computers explode in a shower of sparks and smoke. The speed of the fight increases until all that can be seen through the smoke is two sets of tri-colored streaks zipping around.]

NARRATOR: Man, this is going nowhere fast. Let?s see what that traitor Bellum has done with the Professor!

WHIP PAN TO WINDOW LOOKING DOWN INTO LAB

[Neither Sara nor Professor can be seen.]

CUT TO: CONTROL ROOM OF THE 'DANGER ROOM'

[Sara and Professor sit back from the console, watching the fight below.]

NARRATOR: It's just a simulation? Oh, now I feel like such an idiot! But wait, I sense things aren't going so good.

BELLUM: What's wrong, Professor? Why aren't the Girls winning?

UTONIUM: I don't understand, Ms. Bellum! The danger level was set only high enough so that the Girls wouldn't suspect a trick. I couldn't make it TOO easy for them!

BELLUM: So NOW what? Is it because the Girls think that they're boys, but deep inside believe that they're better than boys because of what I told them that one time, so that's why they can't beat their simulations now?

[Professor looks at her like she's speaking a foreign language.]

UTONIUM: I have no idea. All I know is that I hate ties! You know what they say about a tie game, don't you, Ms. Bellum? It's like kissing your sister!

BELLUM: Huh? That's IT! Professor, let me talk to them again!

CUT TO: DANGER ROOM

[The fight rages. With a furious burst of power, the alt-Puffs have the Girls suspended in the air with their eye beams. They cease fire and catch them as they fall, and one by one, alt-Blossom body slams Buttercup, alt-Bubbles, Blossom and alt-Buttercup, Bubbles. They stand over the Girls, smirking at them.]

ALT-BLOSSOM: Ready to give up yet?

[The Girls lay there, beaten and groaning. They struggle to open their eyes.]

BUTTERCUP (raising her head a bit off the floor): N-nev-er-unh! (she drops it and her eyes shut)

BELLUM (off camera): Boys! Don't give up! You can still win!

ALT-BUTTERCUP (pointing up at the window): Shut up, you traitor! We're comin' after you next!

BELLUM (off camera): Boys! Listen to me! Do the one thing that they'd NEVER expect from you!

[The Girls? eyes fly open.]

BLOSSOM: Yuck!

BUTTERCUP: No! No way!

BUBBLES: Aw, we gotta! You wanna be girls all your life?

BLOSSOM: Ohhhhhh, okay!

[The alt-Puffs watch them with interest, smirking, wondering what they'll do next.]

ALT-BUTTERCUP (sarcastic): Aw, what're you gonna do, say you're sorry?

[All three of the alt-Puffs giggle, closing their eyes. They don't see the Girls floating toward them, puckered up.]

BELLUM (off camera): Wrong, Powerpuff Girls! Love means never having to say you're sorry!

[Their eyes fly open and they see what's coming. Before they can move, Bubbles plants a smooch on the cheek of Alt-Buttercup, Buttercup on Alt-Blossom and Blossom on Alt-Bubbles.]

ALT-BUBBLES: Eeeeek!

ALT-BLOSSOM AND ALT-BUTTERCUP: BOY COOTIES!!

ALL THREE: AGGGHHHH!!!!

CUT TO: CONTROL ROOM

BELLUM: It's working!

[Loud rumbling begins to come from below and things start to shake.]

UTONIUM: Something's wrong! This wasn't programmed, and it's overloading the circuits!

[The alt-Puffs seem to vibrate and glow in each of their respective colors, then a slow-motion blinding white flash engulfs everything as Sara and Professor throw their arms in front of their faces. The sequence is soundless.]

FADE TO WHITE

FADE IN - THE DANGER ROOM

[The bare grid of the holodeck shows. The walls are cracked from the force of the explosion. Professor will have to rebuild it. The camera pulls back to show the Girls sprawled unconscious on the floor in a semi-circle, Professor kneeling next to Blossom, and Sara kneeling between Buttercup and Bubbles. The Girls appear bruised and dirty, their clothes torn; the baseball cap blown off of Blossom's head. Their boy's haircuts are a mess. When they come to, they will have their own voices back. Blossom wakes first, and sits up, barely opening her eyes.

BLOSSOM: Unnhhh....

UTONIUM: Blossom, honey, are you all right?

BLOSSOM: Uh, I guess so...wha' happened?

[She looks to her left and sees her sisters. Her eyes open all the way and she leaps to her feet.]

BLOSSOM: Ahh! The Rowdyruff Boys! Professor, what're they doin' here?

[Professor grabs her with both hands, and shows her herself in a mirror.]

UTONIUM: Relax, Blossom, it's just your sisters!

BLOSSOM: Whoa, you mean it really happened?

BELLUM: Boy, did it!

BUTTERCUP (groans): Oh, my head!

[She sits up, thinks she sees Brick, jumps to her feet and charges toward Blossom, both fists swinging. Sara is ready for her and pulls her back.]

UTONIUM: Easy there, tiger!

BLOSSOM: Buttercup, it's me, Blossom!

BUTTERCUP (stunned): Blossom? Whoa!

BLOSSOM: Yeah, tell me about it!

[Sara is kneeling now between the two, a hand on each of their shoulders. Professor picks up Bubbles and holds her. As her sisters watch anxiously, she mumbles and cracks her eyes, smiling when she sees his face.]

BUBBLES: Professor? I had the strangest dream! I dreamed that Mojo turned us into the Rowdyruff boys and we took over Townsville and then we had to fight-

UTONIUM: I know, honey.

BLOSSOM AND BUTTERCUP: It wasn't a dream, Bubbles! Look!

[Professor holds the mirror in front of her. She screams, then looks at her sisters. She has a very angry look on her face as he sets her down. Sara is now standing.]

UTONIUM: Do you Girls feel all right?

BUTTERCUP (angry): Good enough to knock the stuffing out of Mojo!

[They prepare to take off but Sara puts a hand on Blossom and Buttercup, and Professor holds Bubbles back.]

BELLUM: Wait, Girls, I can't let you!

GIRLS: B-b-b-but!

UTONNIUM: Sara's right, Girls. There haven't been any crimes committed. Even though you THOUGHT you were the Rowdyruff Boys, you saved Townsville from that monster...

BELLUM: ...Mayor's still Mayor... and without you, nothing that Mojo planned will happen! As long as he returns all the checks that people sent him, there's no crime!

UTONIUM (smiling): It'll all just be one big practical joke!

[The Girls? angry expressions return. They bare their teeth.]

BLOSSOM: Oh, no! That's where you're wrong, Professor!

BUBBLES: Mojo Jojo committed the worstest crime in the history of Townsville!

BUTTERCUP: Yeah, and he's going to pay for it!

UTONIUM: What? What crime?

BELLUM (with a smile in her voice): I think I know, Professor!

[As one, the Girls throw their heads back and scream. All that can be seen are their huge open mouths.]

GIRLS: HE RUINED OUR HAIR!!!!!!!!!

[They fly up and toward the camera with the meanest looks we've ever seen; then off camera, leaving Professor and Sara standing there in the grid, laughing.]

NARRATOR: Uh, oh, I know a certain monkey who's gonna wish that HE was someone else! So once again...

PULSATING HEARTS CLOSING

[Sara Bellum appears instead of the Girls.]

NARRATOR: ...the day is saved, thanks to... Ms. Bellum! Heh heh, that woman's got some head on her shoulders, doesn't she?

 

THE END

Story written December 2000