Whats the difference between a Ford and a golfball? You can drive a golfball 200 yards. What did the Hockey Goalie say to his teammate? Lets get the "puck" outta here. Whats the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes  "Whack, Damn" A skydiver goes  "Damn, Whack" How many men does it take to mop a floor? None, its a womans job. A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look at him. "You, sir, are drunk" "And you ma'am, are ugly...But when I wake up i will be sober." You're so stupid, you thought "Puff Daddy" was a brand of cigarrettes. I promise i will not make fun of your height, I would never stoop to that. If I wanted any lip from you, I'd jiggle my zipper. I havn't seen you run that fast since twinkies went on sale. Why dont women need drivers licenses? Because there aren't any roads between the laundry room and the kitchen. Why do they call PMS PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. To Policeman: What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.