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Chris was floating peacefully. Nothing hurt, he wasn't too hot or too cold, it wasn't too bright or too dark…and he certainly had not been dis-owned by his mother. He liked this comfort. All he had to do was lie here. Stay still and enjoy the serenity… "…We're all here for you, nothing is gonna get you now." Who dare interrupt his bliss? Joey? Well, he supposed he did owe Joey something, at least a hand squeeze. So that's what he did. Man, it was hard to move that hand. "Chris? You there buddy? Come on, wake up." God Joey, what is it now? Can't you see I'm happy like this? If I wake up, there'll be pain. Pain is bad. Please don't make me open my eyes. The world hates me. Just let me be. "Chris? Joey says you moved man. I miss you, come on, please wake up." Justin? Justin is here too? Oh God, what if he saw me. I don't want to see the pity in their eyes. Wait a minute, I must look like shit now. Well good, now everyone can see Chris with the shit beat out of him. This brightens my day. "Um…hi Chris. Uh…you're scaring us all…you gotta wake up." Lance? Lance cared enough to be here? He must be laughing his head off now. This is what he wanted, after all. To hell with the fags. "Chris, damnit, we know you're awake. Stop fucking around and open your eyes. Now." Chris forced his eyes open. He was instantly assaulted by the bright light and the squeezed his eyes shut, turning his head to the side. He tried to lift his arms but found them to be too heavy. His whole body felt stagnant and heavy. "Turn the lights off," Joey ordered, sending Justin scrambling. Once the room had dimmed, Chris attempted to open his eyes again. Things slowly came into focus. There sat Joey, looking pretty worried. "Chris? You okay? Are you there man?" Chris stared blankly. This was the world he left. There were his friends, rejoicing that he had opened his eyes. Their faces and touches felt so good. So welcoming. Nothing could be better than this, to be loved by his friends. He offered a small smile. Then the pain set in. He forced his eyes closed again as tears stung his eyes. A terrifyingly tight, dull pain wrapped around the base of his spine, biting through the bone. That pain alone was enough to spill tears, then came the numerous throbs on the rest of his body. He had a headache. His arm stung. Every breath gnawed at his ribs, squeezing his lungs. His left leg felt as if it had been shot. Not that he had even been shot, but this had to be what it felt like. "Guys, get the doctor," Joey said as he placed a hand on Chris's shoulder. The older man was whining slightly as he writhed on the bed. Joey's heart sunk. The smile Chris had given them made Joey forget, for a second, what had happened. But now, seeing his friend in so much pain killed him. "Chris, it's okay, the doctor's coming." As if on cue, Dr. Windsor appeared and gently pushed Joey out of the way. A nurse went to the IV and increased the drip's speed. The doctor leaned over Chris, shining a pen light in each of the coffee-colored eyes. "Mr. Kirkpatrick, can you hear me?" Chris nodded, turning away from the unfamiliar doctor. His hands grasped the sheets on either side of him as he made a futile attempt to roll off the bed. "Mr. Kirkpatrick, I know you're in pain, just relax. Do you know where you are?" The pain began to dull and a warm, tingling seeped trough his arm, spreading throughout his body. Slowly he opened his eyes again, searching for Joey. "That's it, just calm down. Now, can you tell me where you are?" "Hospital." Man, that sounded weak. "Very good. You're a lucky man, Chris." Dr. Windsor made some notes on his ever-present chart book then continued, "Nothing permanent. Your spinal injury had us worried but miraculously you recovered. Besides a few cuts and bruises, there's nothing too bad. I'd count your blessings, Mr. Kirkpatrick." Chris remembered lying on the wet concrete. Alone, in the dark. He had found a new phobia now. From this day on he would not be caught anywhere with out someone else. There was something else too. Oh God yes. The unicorn. What the hell was that? He was pretty sure he had been hit upside the head with something, so maybe that was it. It had to be. He just imagined the fact that a pure white mare with a single spiral horn had nuzzled him with its soft, pink nose and white whiskers. There were no relaxing pale blue eyes in the alley. No sound of hollow hooves. No smell of flowers. There couldn't have been. Unicorns didn't exist. Just a child's fantasy, much like his hope of ever being accepted in this world. "Chris, do need anything?" Joey asked. "Unicorn?" he questioned without thinking. Joey looked at the others. "What?" Chris shook his head slightly and licked his lips. "Water." A nurse appeared with a cup in hand. Guiding the straw towards his parched and cut lips, she said softly, "Drink this slowly." Chris obeyed, tuning red and shameful eyes to the others. He hated being helpless. He hated the others seeing him like this. Beaten like the piece of shit fag that he was. Nobody loved him. Really loved him, like the blooming romance between Justin and Britney. Nobody would either. You can't be gay and be in a boyband. Now that Dani had told her boyfriend, the whole world probably knew by now. Hell, there was probably a story about him on the news as he lay here. Joey noticed Chris's discomfort. "Guys, uh, why don't you wait out in the hall? I'll get you in a few minutes, okay?" "Yeah," J.C. nodded. He, Lance and Justin followed the nurse out into the hall. As they left, Officer Sullivan entered. "I'm here to take his statement now," he announced, pen in hand. "I don't think he's ready," Joey started. "He just woke up-" "Mr. Kirkpatrick, do you think you can give your statement now?" Chris blinked. "Uh, I guess." "Don't do it if you don't think you can," Joey said, placing a hand on Chris's arm. "Go ahead," Officer Sullivan urged. "Uh," Chris started, taking a shaky breath. "Well me and Joey were walking down the street, we were going to go to a club-" "A gay club?" the officer questioned with a hint of a smirk. Chris returned a questioning look. "No, just a club. It was dark and everything and this guy jumped out from the alley." Chris paused, swallowing the rock of a lump in his throat. "He said that my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend told him that I was gay, and that I made her cry or something." "You made her cry?" Officer Sullivan questioned. Chris shrugged painfully. "I don't know." The officer rolled his eyes. "Go on." "Well then they started attacking." "And?" Chris looked confused. "They hit Joey first, the guys that crept up behind us. Then they…started on me." The officer looked straight into Chris's eyes. "Did they rape you? Penetrate you with a foreign object?" Chris gulped. "N-no." Joey stood up. "I don't think that's necessary-" "Just routine," the officer snapped. "Mr. Kirkpatrick, describe the beating to me. What did they hit you with?" Tears crept into Chris's eyes. He could sense the officer's hate. It was everywhere. He closed his eyes, praying this would end soon. Thank God Joey told the others to leave. "I don't really remember. A pipe, I think. Chains. Their hands and feet. A knife." "And did you at any time cry out or fight back?" Chris sniffed, keeping his gaze on the sheet spread over him. "I don't know. I didn't fight back, I couldn't." The officer stood his intimidating stance a little longer. His gaze managed to make Chris feel like the guilty one here. "That's all. You two have a nice day." With that, he left. Joey gave Chris a hug the best he could. "It's okay," he comforted. Chris had been strong until Joey's gentle gesture. He found himself crying lightly into Joey's warm embrace. "Everybody hates me," he confessed. "That's not true Chris," Joey replied, letting go of his older friend. "A lot of people hate homosexuals. Unfortunately, as much as I want to, I can't change that. But I'm always here for you, okay?" "What are we going to do if this does get out?" Chris asked. "Nobody will like Nsync anymore. Our whole audience is female, and I'll just ruin everything. They're too young to understand. They'll just know that that old guy Chris is a fag and he's probably raping Justin Timberlake." Joey winced at Chris's words. "You're not quitting the group, if that's what you're hinting at," Joey informed him. "We'll get through this. We are sticking together Chris, whether you like it or not." Chris smiled again. "Thanks Joey." "Don't thank me for being your friend," Joey replied. "It's my pleasure. You haven't changed Chris. Not one bit. I don't think anything will make me stop liking you." "You're a rare friend Joey. There needs to be more people like you in this world." |
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