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"Chris, could you get us some water?" "Yeah, sure. Bottled?" "Yeah. Thanks man." "No prob." Said Chris as he left the back room. He walked through the bus and heard a phone ringing as he passed the bunks. He recognized the ringtone, a mechanized blip from "Falling" as his cellphone. He walked over to his bunk. "Hmm, wonder who's calling..." He wondered aloud as he reached for the phone. "Hello?" He asked. "Earthquake." Said the other end. Just then the bus hit a bump. chris freaked and dropped the phone. It crashed against the side of the bunk and hit the floor, knocking the battery off. He picked up the phone and reached for the battery. "Stupid freakin..." He huffed, half angry at himself for freaking out and half for... well mostly because he felt stupid for freaking out. He grabbed the battery and was straightening up as he hit his head on the bunk ledge and fell, knocked out cold. **************************************************** "Goddammit!" He said as he rubbed the back of his head and brought it around to see if there was any blood. There wasnt. He started to stand up and heard a door open behind him. "Need a hand?" Asked Justin. "Yeah, I..." He started, but stopped when he saw Justin. Who looked less like Justin Timberlake and more like Badtz Maru with dusty blonde curls and blue eyes. Behind him, what he took to be "Joey" came up, but he looked more like Felix the cat with Joey's hair and eyes. "You okay Chris?" He asked as Chris gaped open mouthed at the both of them. "Uh......" He said, speechless. Just then "Johnny" came into the narrow hall. He was completely like Jack Skelington but for his voice. "Is Chris okay? I heard something fall." "I'm fine...physically, anyhow. Uh, um... were you guys always cartoon charachters?" He asked. Joey looked at him. "What's a cartoon?" He asked. Chris shook his head. "I've fallen into another universe. It's the only logical explanation." "Whatever, Chris. Get up, we have to go to the NTV VNAs tonight." "You mean MTV, VMAs? "No, NTV, Noise Television... Man, you really need to learn how to spell. Anyway, we really need to get ready and practice the routine that way we can show up those losers *NSync." Said Justin. "WERE *NSync-heh heh- ...Arent we?" He asked. "What?! Very funny, Chris. Look, I know you wish you were in *NSync because of your relationship but were the Backstreet Boys, in case you somehow forgot... Not quit screwin around, we gotta practice." ****************************** For the rest of the afternoon Chris was constantly yelled at for forgetting the dance moves and song lyrics. "Jeezus, Chris!! What's up with you?!? You'd think you'd never sang "The Call" before!" "I havent!!" He screamed and collapsed onto the bench. "This is all insane!!! Lance is Taz, Joey is Felix, Justin is Badtz Maru, and JC is Courage the cowardly dog!?! I'm the only human here and for some reason we are now BSB and sing Bullshit Boys crap and dance Bullshit Boys style and I'm getting reamed out for it because I dont know what the hell is going on with anything anymore!!! The only good thing is now I'm taller than everybody!!-Heh- I'd kick major ass in basketball..." "What's basketball?" Asked Justin. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Screamed Chris as he headed out the door and to the hotel they were staying in. Later that night after the Awards and an awful performancxe by BSB, thanks to Chris, they were chilling out backstage when *NSync arrived. Chris could only grumble when he saw them. "Why do they get to be human?" He pouted. Just then Lance came over and started talking to Chris. "Now dont you start embarassing us and start talking to him while were here in public. Okay?" "What?" Asked Chris. "Well, fine... you can talk to him but nothing else... got it? We dont want a repeat of last time." "Last time? Him who?" "Last time you two were together in public, you dork. Him who?! Your lover! You retard!" Chris gave him a confused look. "My what?" He asked, but before Lance could respond Kevin came over and smiled at Chris then at Lance who gave an obviously phony smile back. "Hey."Said Kevin. "Uh...Hi."Chris responded as Lance left. Lance shot him a look that was either a warning or an 'I need to use the toilet.'. Since Lance didnt leave the room, Chris took it as a warning. "Well, what's with you today?" Asked Kevin, brushing a piece of hair back off Chris' forehead.. "What do you mean by that?" he asked, backing up.. "Well, you're all pouty..." Kevin said, reaching foreward to fix Chris' shirt collar. Chris jerked back slightly, reflexively. "Touchy..." Kevin said. "You arent still mad about last week are you?" "Last week?" "When I forgot to lock the door and Aje caught us making love in the hottub..." ***************************************************** "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Screamed Chris as he jerked up from the floor. "Chris. Chris, calm down. Are you okay? I think you hit your head reaching for your cellphone when we hit that bump." Said a quite normal Justin as he offered a hand to help him up. "I was getting the battery..." Chris groaned as he got up. Well THAT was the freakiest dream ever." He said. "What was?" "Nevermind, I'll save that for a night we tell scary stories." "Whatever, man." Said Justin and he went into the bathroom. "The water! Jeez, how long has it been? I must have been out for Hou-rs....." When he looked at his watch only a minute had passed. He shook his head and continued on his way. When he got to the front of the bus and opened the door the driver looked at him. "Wheres my horse?" Asked the driver. "Wheres your wha- Oh, Jesus!!" Chris said as he saw the bus swerving into the oncoming traffic lanes. He grabbed the wheel and jerked it to the right, sliding them across the highway and over some old semi tire pieces, causing the bus to bump up. He tried to get the bus back down into the right gear(They were going over 90 mph)when he noticed the driver playing with the clutch. "Oh, god... how the..?" He pumped the break and gas alternately as the bus neared an overpass... rocking the entire bus again as they went out of control over a constructuon baracade. As they got closer to the overpass he saw that it wasnt finished, there was a huge section in the middle that was missing. "What is this?!?! Speed?!" He slammed on the brakes and somehow managed to stop the bus just two feet before the gap. (What, did you think he was going to jump it? Chris is crazy but he's not stupid.) As the trucks carrying equippment and stuff neared, Chris stepped out of the bus. Soom everyone was cheering and patting him on the back for saving the day. After the comotion settled down and they were back on the road with a different driver, Chris heade back to the back of the bus where he collapsed into a chair. "Did you get the water?" "Oh, shit." Said Chris. Authors Note: This story was inspired by Chris' "Celebrity" Thank Yous- Incase you couldnt tell. |
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